Part 1 of many ones
Intro: don't skip it!!! :)
Don't attempt to adjust your computer. You are now entering in a new area, where no one has ever been before. All you ever known isn't anymore. All you always thought impossible is now part of the reality. Aaahh! quit the "x-files" jocking, let's have fun. By double-clicking on that link you've just entered... MY WORLD! Here, I do what I want, whenever I want to. And now, I just feel like making fun of the DBZ gang. First: their names! Bulma, Trunks, Bra? Hello !!! Underwears? Quit jocking! I think if it continues this way, Bra's and Trunks' legacy is joining the stripper club. O.K., now I'm just being mean. So... whazzup with the Go thing? O.K., maybe Gohan means rice, but what about Goku and Goten? Now, I'm going mean again. Let's screw up this introduction, now we are going into the fun part. I had just read some What If... in the humor section of that page (Hey! Val!:)) and I thought,... well, let's see what it would be like if some of those were true. Here we go!
***
It was a beautiful morning. Birds were singing around Capsule Corp. as Vegeta went outside, smiling. Bulma was walking after him. She was screaming like a bitch, while he was simply smiling. He stopped by his flowers and started talking to them in the dumbest way.
-Hey! You! Whazzup? Daddy mist you a lot during the time he was gone. Hopefully, mama Bulma fed you with, Hummmmmm, delicious water!
Bulma hit him with a frying pan. He didn't even complained and continued to talk to his flowers.
***
Chichi was in front of her mirror, getting dress. Goku was training outside with Goten and Bra. Gohan was sitting in front of the computer, surfing on the net. There was a burning scent coming from the oven.
-Grandma, it's burning again!, Pan cried out from the living room. Chichi came in and took the burnt cake out of the oven. She went to the living room and said:
-Pan, your nailpolish doesn't really fit with your outfit, honey.
-I know, I'm going to change, then I'm on my way to the hair dresser. What do you think would suit me best? Blond or red?
-Blond honey. You remember what Grandma looked like with red hair? You would look just the same. Blond suits us best, just like that, see? she said, pointing her blond hair. Then, she turned to her oldest son and said:
-Honey, don't concentrate too hard on that computer. Anyway, you remember what mama used to say about homework and working? It's of no use and it only waste your time.
Gohan didn't hear her because he was too concentrate with his spaceship game.
-By the way, where is your mother?
-Oooh... She came back totaly drunk last night. Like usual. She must be back in that bar, by now.
-But it's 10am!
-I know...
Chichi went outside and walked to Goku.
-Honey, please would you take Gohan, Goten and Bra fighting with Vegeta and Trunks. They are getting on my nerves, and I don't look good when I'm angry.
-I'm training, woman., Goky said, looking angry.
-I know, honey, but if you don't, I'll force you to eat an hundred of my cookies!
He looked at her with disgust.
-Damn it woman!
Gohan came out at that moment and they flew to Capsule Corp.
***
Trunks was chasing a woman in the street.
-Com'on sweetie, just one date!
-No, for the thousand time, no!
-Then, just one kiss.
She turned around and hit him on the face. She then walked away.
-Great!!! At least, this one didn't kick me! Trunks said, glad. He then flew back to Capsule Corp., thinking he would have to hire a new secretary, coz' that one wasn't coming back for sure.
***
Vegeta and Goku were fighting, while Bra, Gohan and Goten were looking at them. Goten had a math book on his knees and was doing some homeworks.
-Don't work too hard, science sucks! Gohan told him.
-No! I plan on being a scientist!
-Sucker!, Gohan said.
Trunks arrived at that moment and landed next to Bra.
-Eh! Sis! Got any news from Pan?
-Yeah! She said that if you don't stop arressing her, she'll send her 6'4" boyfriend to break your jaw.
Trunks sighed, then said:
-I'll get to her, I know it! Sis, wanna spar?
-Sure!
They started fighting, but Bra won easily.
-Hey, you made some progress!
-Of course! I trained four hours everyday for the last month!
Goku kicked Vegeta and he fell on the ground. Goku went to him.
-I won! I am the master of the universe!
Vegeta started crying.
-I suck!
***
Pan was alking in the street. Marron landed next to her.
-Hey Pan, you look great!
Pan passed an hand into her blond hair.
-Thanks!
-You wanna spar with the others?
-Ah! Fighting like a man! You're crazy!
-Well, see ya!
Marron flew away.
***
Bra was fighting with her father. She gave him a kick on the mouth, then fired him a ki-blast. He didn't see it coming and it hurt him on the chest. He started screaming like a girl and fell on the ground, crying again.
-Anyone wanna spar?
Goku, Gohan, Goten and Trunks didn't move an inch, since they had all been beatten by Bra.
-Suckers!
Krillin came by, with C-18 behind him. She was wearing a white dress and there was flowers in her hair. She was smiling happily. Krillin looked mean.
-Hey! Bra! I wanna spar! Krillin cried out. They started to fight, but it looked more difficult for Bra this time.
-Com'on honey, I know you can do it! I'm so proud of you! I love you!, C-18 screamed as they were fighting.
-Don't listen to her, daddy's proud of you! Vegeta cried out to his daughter. She turned to him with a mean face.
-Shut up! You disgust me!
Then, a ki-blast hit her and it was the end of their fight. Krillin came by her and said:
-Ah! Ah! I am the best, everyone sucks but me!
Marron landed at that moment beside Trunks.
-Hey, baby! Wanna fight with me, I'll show you how! Trunks said. Marron kicked him on the face. He started crying like his father, then ran to his room, to cry even more.
***
Master Roshi was sitting in front of the T.V., inside Capsule Corp. Bulma was cleaning the house. She came in front of the T.V.
-Bulma, please, move your disgusting ass from in front of the T.V. You know it makes me sick! I'm trying to watch some important religious stuff.
-You should have become a priest or something.
-I know... now it's too late. I'm too old. At least I can go to church everyday!
Bra came in, all wet and dirty.
-Bra, take a bath!
-No, I'm changing, then I'll go training again.
-Gosh! You're such a tomboy!
-So what?
***
C-18 was dancing with Vegeta.
-Veggie! You're quite a good dancer.
-I know, I'm full of grace, and I really like that music! It's so beautiful!
Yamcha had just came in and he was staring at them, laughing.
-Poor guy! He got stuck with Bulma when I finally dumped her after she cheated on me, and now, he's dancing with that android!
-You think he's so pathetical! Look at you! Goku said, laughing. Yamcha was wearing a bright pink and orange girlish blouse with white lycra pants. His hair was quite long and curly.
-Hey Goku, you're kind of cute.
Goku stared at him weirdly, then backed away slowly, keeping his eyes on him.
-Goten, this guy is weird.
-He is gay dad!
-I know, but he keeps telling me I'm cute after beat the crap out of him so many times. Dende, I hate those sissy so-called men!
Dende appeard in front of them.
-Please, stop imploring me! I'm tired of it! Next time someone implores me, I'll kill him! I've gotta do something evil.
Yamcha said:
-Dende, make Goku love me!
Dende turned around and transpierced his heart with a sword he was carrying. Goku satrted laughing.
-Cool!
Piccolo came by.
-Hey, green guy, I told you never to come next to me, you stink!
-Gosh! I'm sorry Goku.
-Only my friends call me that! You call me Kakarrot.
-I'm sorry, Kakarrot. I'm just here to help Bulma with the kitchen stuff!
-What! Food! Disgusting! Go away before I go sick!
Piccolo went away pityfully.
***
At the end of the day, Vegeta came inside and decided to go to bed. He oppened the door and saw a man in his bed, having sex with Bulma.
-Mr.Popo!!!
***
Conclusion
So, how did you like my world, huh? You know, when I wrote the part of Yamcha and stuff, I was suffering from a 3 days headache and I had not slept for about 9 hours in 2 nights (if you can actualy call that sleeping!). So, if you liked it, e-mail me, and wait for my next fic (and if you didn't like it, well do what you want, like if I care!).
Lady Bulma, Milly, Val and Star Otaku rock!!! (Pain is bad, bad, bad for my brain.)
So come and visit my world another day.
See ya! (and remember, sleep and tylenos are good for you, and your brain can suffer permanent injuries if you don't use one of them enough. Guest wich!)
BYE! Milly xxx
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