"Sean?", she whispered, caressing the hand that was resting on her hip.
"Huh?", he moaned with a sleepy voice.
"I love you", she said, smiling. And she really did, she loved him with all her heart, with all her soul. But she had loved Trunks like that too...and maybe even more. Their love was like a fairytale; they were friends, lovers and he was in complete and total adoration for her. And she was for him. But Sean and her, it was...somewhat different. She felt safe with him, she felt overwhelmed by comfort, and she felt good. There was never any games between them, there was only pure love. When there was only darkness in her life, and when she thought she never could love anyone again, he had been there, and she knew she would love him forever for being there.
"I love you too, honey."
He snuzzled her neck, then he kissed her behind the ear before standing up, leaving her alone on the bed. Her breath caught and she froze, remembering that Trunks always did that when she was on the phone or just standing up, looking at something, but she immedialty exhaled and close her eyes. She felt so good, it was incredible. In this house, there was no bad memory, no souvenir of her life before Sean. She had thrown everything away, even her clothes. The only thing she had kept were some of Trunks' things, that were in the basement, her wedding dress, that was in the same box, and her ring. But this, she had burried under the apple tree in their backward. She had worn it for a long time, but had took it off when she had started to seriously date Sean. She had burried it on the morning of her wedding, and she hadn't seen it since. She stood up, going straight to Allison's room.
"Hey sweetheart...", she said, taking her daughter in her arms. The little girl had blond curls and huge blue eyes. She immediatly lifted her little hands and grabbed her mother's hair, pulling it as she smiled,
"Ouch...Ally, we went through this...no more pulling mama's hair.", she said, freeing her hair, and caressing her child's face.
"Like she understands...", Sean said, standing in the doorframe, shaving creme all over his face. But she couldn't smile. All she saw was Trunks, standing in the bathroom's door frame as she picked up the phone that day.
"Huh...no...she...", she said, holding Allison against her chest and walking out of the room to go to the kitchen. Sean turned to look at her as she passed by without looking at him, and then sighed, going back to the bathroom to finish shaving.
She put Allisson on her high chair, then prepared her breakfast.
"Mama...", Allison said, lifting her arms to grab her mother's hair again as she put the bol contening the smashed bananas in front of the baby girl.
"No, not now Allison."
Sean walked in, now wearing a suit. He was a lawyer for a rather successful firm, an the rumor was that he would soon become an associate.
"Are you ok?", he asked, looking at her with worried eyes, as she put toasts and a cup of coffee in front of him.
"Yeah...I think I'm gonna go back to bed. Headache."
"Ok"
"Have a good day, k", she said, kissing him on the forehead before going back to her room.
She closed the door behind her, and sighed. She needed to be alone. For the last week, those flashbacks had been hunting her. It was always like that...she felt really good, safe, loved, in love with Sean, and then the next moment, it hit her, and she felt like she was falling in a hole. The phone rang and she gasped, looking at it as it went on ringing on the night table.
"Hello?", she said, answering with a weak voice.
"Marron...", Trunks voice said at the other end.
"Hey", she said, her heart beating faster. She hadn't seen him in a long time, and she didn't plan on seeing him for another long period.
"I just wanted to know how you were"
"Oh...I'm okay...Almost finished the book"
"That's great"
"You?"
"Huh...I got a job...Not so much that I need the money...You know, with my mom's secret account still open and I being the only one to have control upon it....I needed the distraction."
"That's great..."
"Yeah"
It seemed that their conversation wasn't going anywhere, but none of them cared. They didn't talk, just listened to the heavy silence...and it seemed as though time had stopped. She just sat there, on her bed, looking at the beige wall in silence. But in her mind, their life together replayed itself, and in his too. It felt good and it felt bad at the same time...it felt true.
"Marron...I think, it would be better for both of us if we didn't see each other for some time..."
She nodded slowly before realizing she was on the phone,
"Yeah, I think...I..."
"What happened was a..."
"Mistake"
"Yeah, big one."
"Huh, huh"
And then he sighed before hanging up. She held the phone against her ear for some time before hanging up too.
"I love you Marron, I love you so much", Trunks said, holding her close to him, sobbing. She close her eyes before looking up at him, straight in the eyes.
"Kiss me", she said, caressing his face with her palm. He pulled her to him, their lips joining in a passionate kiss. He lifted her from the couch, untying her red shirt. His lips slowly travelled down to her neck then passed her bra as he spread a line of hot kisses down to her belly button as he layed her down on the couch. She passed her fingers deep through his hair, pulling her up to him, wanting to feel his lips against hers. They kissed again and she pushed his untied shirt over his shoulders, kissing him on the shoulder, softly brushing her lips against a pale scar, passing her tongue over it.
"I need you....", she whispered in his ear.
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
***
He took her mouth with passion, as she moaned against his lips, pulling him closer, so close they made one. As they kissed, he lifted her up from the couch, pressing her against the wall. There was a burning passion, a painfull need for one another in their every movement, their every breath. He spread kisses on her neck, her naked breast, licking the warm skin, tasting her, wanting to revive every memory he had of her. She moaned his name as she untied his jeans, pulling them down. He caught her hips and pulled her closer, as his boxer went down to, pulling up her skirt, as she wrapped her legs around his hips.
As she felt him enter her, she moaned, leaning her head backwards, banging it on the wall.
"I love you, I love you so much", she moaned as her nails scratched his back, leaving blood lines on his skin, making him moaning in pleasant pain.
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
~Wish you were here
Pink Floyd
Album: Wish you were here
***
She sat on her bed, bringing her legs against her body, leaning the side of her face on her knees, silent tears rolling down her face. She was so confused. Sometimes she would forget about it, like when she woke up, or while watching tv with Sean, but most of the time, she would just lose herself in her destructive thoughts. She felt broken, cold and lonely. For so long, she had wished he would come back to her, that they would be together again, but now she felt trapped, in a cage, and sometimes, she just wished he had died then...a thought that filled her with dread.
She lifted her arm on her side and looked at the scar on her wrist, remembering exactly how she felt then...remembering she felt exactly like this. Alone and cold...alone and dead.
Part Six: This Face You've Loved For Years
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