Yamcha - Good day dear public. I am your host, Yamcha-san, on the show "The Evilest Dollies of FUNI". Actually, I've been chosen only because all of the other guys were asking too much money. So let's start with one of the most evil dollies from Funimation: Chaozu!
"Yamcha puts a Chaozu full-sized doll on the table"
Yamcha - That sure looks like the real one... Anyway. This is a talking dolly. Its name is... "The Touch-me-and-I-talk Chaozu dolly from Brolly saga". ... WHAT? Wait a second, Mime-boy wasn't in the Brolly saga!
"Someone gives Yamcha a piece of paper. He reads it and grins."
Yamcha - They say that even if we don't see Chaozu it doesn't meen he stopped existing. Yeah, sure... Anyway! Let me show you how the "Touch-me-and-I-talk" dolly works!
"Yamcha touched Chaozu's stomach. Chaozu starts giggling."
Chaozu - Hi hi! Hi hi!
Yamcha - What a stupid toy. Now, let see what else he can say. Because the "Touch-me-and-I-talk Chaozu dolly" says something different for every part of his body!
"Yamcha touches Chaozu's eye."
Chaozu - That was my eye, you moron.
"Yamcha touches Chaozu's mouth."
Chaozu - I'm a doll, I won't open it, you fool.
"Yamcha touches Chaozu's nose."
Chaozu - I don't have nose, you stupid.
"Yamcha touches Chaozu's arm."
Chaozu - Why are you touching my arm, you baka?
"Yamcha touches Chaozu's leg."
Chaozu - It might be short but it can hurt, so don't touch.
"Yamcha touches Chaozu's butt."
Chaozu - YOU PERVERT! I'M JUST A DOLL!
Yamcha - Wow! What an amazing toy! And do you know what, dear public? When you press a second time, his speech changes!
"Yamcha touches Chaozu on the stomach again. Nothing happens. Yamcha touches Chaozu on the eye again. Nothing happens. Yamcha touches Chaozu on the mouth again. Nothing happens. Yamcha touches Chaozu on the nose again. Nothing happens. Yamcha touches Chaozu on the arm again. Nothing happens. Yamcha touches Chaozu on the leg again. Nothing happens. Yamcha touches Chaozu on the arm again. Nothing happens. Yamcha looks confused and hits Chaozu's stomach."
Chaozu - I already spoke for that place, you dumbass! You just had to listen!
Yamcha - So that was one of the evilest dolly of Funimation, the "Touch-me-and-I-talk Chaozu dolly from Brolly saga"! It costs 45$ and is available... Huh... Where ever they sell big ugly dollies. It was Yamcha-san, from some unknown studio.
"Cameras cut off. Yamcha throws Chaozu away."
Chaozu - I'm not a ball, you major dumbass.
Yamcha - Shut up, damned dolly. Kami, I hate that job...
Director - Yamcha! That was a total flop! Bravo! We need you for three seasons, do you accept the contract?
Yamcha - THREE seasons of presenting the evilest dollies of FUNI?!?
Director - Yes. The next one is "The Amputable Vegeta dolly from any damned saga at all". So?
Yamcha - SURE I ACCEPT!!
The Evil Vegeta Dolly Of FUNI
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