Maybe I should install a revolving door…
By JoeyRZ
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Notes: This is for the Joxerotica 2005 Challenge. This is February’s entry - ruling
god: Hephaestus.
Totally unrelated to any story of mine. Just a random AU, wherein Joxer and Ares have been together a long time and Joxer’s a god.
Many thanks to Erin for beta’ing this thing!
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Hephaestus sighed when he heard the soft knock at the door. One day. All he wanted was just one day of uninterrupted work. Everyone always wanted something from him. A new sword, a set of gauntlets, to make repairs on an armor… a new set of earrings. He sighed again, looking at the small piece of metal he was working on.
The was another knock at his door and he glanced up from his work just in time to see Joxer stick his head into the room.
“Hey, Heph! I hope I’m not interrupting your work. I was just wondering if Aphrodite was here,” Joxer said as he stepped into the room.
Hephaestus grabbed a pair of tongs and moved what would soon become Hera’s new earrings off the fire. Working in Joxer’s presence could and would often lead to disaster. Wiping his hands off on a rag he kept hanging from his work apron, he moved toward the front of the forge.
“No, she’s not here,” Hephaestus answered. Grabbing a wooden goblet he kept filled with cool water, he downed the contents in one large gulp and wiped his mouth with the rag he still carried in his hand.
“Oh… it’s just, it’s been a while since I last saw her, and I wanted to talk to her.”
“She’s trying to save one of her couples from breaking up. Apparently it’s really important they remain together and have children, because she’s working with Hera and Cupid on this one. She’s staying in a temple she has nearby, to be able to better monitor the situation.”
“Which temple? Maybe I can pop in and see if she has a little free time. I kinda need her help with something.”
“Is everything alright? With you and Ares?” Hephaestus was genuinely curious.
“Everything’s fine. More than! It’s just… well, in two weeks it’s Ares and my anniversary and I wanted ‘Dite’s input on a gift for Ares.” Joxer sent a vase flying as he waved his hands around to emphasize how well things were going. Hephaestus managed to freeze the vase in place before it crashed into the wall, and Joxer calmly went to retrieve it and carefully set it back in place.
“You’re gonna ask Aphrodite to help you pick a present for Ares?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Hephaestus shook his head and sighed, yet again. “No reason. She’s in her temple at Delphi. You should find her there or thereabouts.”
“Thanks Heph! Oh, and if you see Ares… don’t tell him anything, please.”
“No problem,” he promised as Joxer disappeared in a shower of blue and green sparks.
~*~*~*~
The next day…
Hephaestus was finally finishing Hera’s earrings when he heard his brother’s voice calling out to him from the hall that lead from the forge to the main living area of his home temple.
Setting the small hammer he used for fine detailing aside, he pushed away from his work table and slid off the comfortable stool he’d made specially for himself. He sent the almost finished jewelry to the box he’d finished crafting yesterday for their safekeeping.
“I’m in my forge, Ares, come in!” he called out to his brother, as he went to inspect the metal he had burning. It was nearing the right temperature… he guessed about half an hour more before he could begin pounding it. It was to be a new sword for Hades.
“Hey, little brother. How’s work?” Ares asked as he entered the forge.
“Good. Busy. You?”
“Same.”
“Want something?”
“Seen our son around?”
Hephaestus smiled. He liked the fact that Ares called Cupid ‘their son’, as in Aphrodite’s, Ares’ and his son. Even though Cupid was biologically Aphrodite’s and Ares’, Hephaestus had helped raised him as his own when he and Aphrodite had married.
“He’s still working some couple over with ‘Dite and Mother over at Delphi.”
Ares nodded absentmindedly, picking up a cooled but unfinished sword and giving it a few practice swings. He weighed it in his hands as he walked over to a relatively empty space in the forge. Hephaestus watched as his brother went through some sparring motions, admiring the grace of Ares’ movements. It had been centuries since he last felt jealous of Ares’ agility, after realizing his own talents were just as good as Ares’.
“So?” Hephaestus asked as Ares handed the sword over.
“The balance at the tip is a little off, but the length and weight are perfect, assuming it’s for Apollo, right?”
Hephaestus marked in charcoal the tip of the sword, to remind himself to work on it again. “Got it in one.”
“Anyway… did Cupid say when he’d be around?”
“Tomorrow or the next day, maybe. He needs to restock,” Hephaestus said, pointing to several bundles of arrows stacked on a shelf on the far side of the forge.
“Well, if you see Cupid, tell him I’m looking for him. I need his advice on something.”
“Joxer?”
“Anniversary.”
“Ah.”
“Well, you know. Love god and all that shit.”
“No problem.”
“Later, little brother,” Ares said, leaving in a shower of red sparks.
~*~*~*~
Two days later…
Hephaestus groaned, exasperated. Was it too much to ask, really? To be able to work in peace for one day? Yesterday it had been Hera, who’d hovered around the forge while he put the finishing touches on the earrings. The soft knocks continued and he was temped to start hammering away and ignore the god on the other side of his door, but Joxer’s meek voice asking if he could come in drew an automatic “yes” from his lips.
He closed his eyes in resignation and set the new piece of metal he was pounding back into the fire. He’d just undertaken a new project and needed some peace and quiet to be able to work on it.
“Yes, Joxer?”
“I’m really sorry to interrupt you again, Heph, but I’m looking everywhere for Aphrodite and I can’t find her.”
“She’s surfing with Apollo. Taking a break from this case she’s working on.”
“Oh… it’s just… that well… she gave me some advise as to what to give Ares… but… I don’t think Ares will like her ideas. I don’t think Ares will appreciate a rose petal covered bed and candles, much.”
Hephaestus chuckled slightly. Only his wife would think Ares would like the same things that she did.
“What are you going to do, then?”
“Don’t know. But I wanted to let ‘Dite know not to worry about those arrangements she was talking to me about. I’m gonna have to find something else to give him. But I have no idea what. I mean… we’ve been together eleven years now, but he’s still a pain to find gifts for.” The same vase as the one a few days ago went crashing to the floor this time. Joxer grimaced, and looked apologetically at Hephaestus, before waving a hand and restoring the vase to its original condition and setting it down.
Hephaestus laid a friendly hand on Joxer’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, everything will turn out okay.”
“Thanks Heph. I’ll see you around,” Joxer said as he disappeared, knocking the vase off the table once more as he enthusiastically waved goodbye to Hephaestus.
~*~*~*~
Hephaestus managed to get three days of uninterrupted work done, and he was feeling very happy about this new project he’d undertaken. The metal he’d used for it was flawless, and the untreated leather he’d received from Hermes the day before as payment for the new shoes he’d made him was perfect.
When he felt Ares’ presence just outside the forge’s door, he let his head drop in despair, mumbling into the table.
“Heph?” Ares asked, entering his brother’s work space.
“No more… please… no more… I give up… I do… truly do… it was too good to last… I know…”
“Heph? Have you pissed off the Furies lately?”
“No… no Furies… just me here… and you… and everyone else who thinks they can just waltz into my forge and make demands and I never have for my work… it’s always somebody else’s… no time for me… I *do* have a life… I want time to do other stuff… but noooooo… because no one ever leaves me alone!”
“Err… I just wanted to return your sword. It’s really magnificent. Made a great impression,” Ares said as he laid a sword on Hephaestus desk.
“Glad you liked it,” Hephaestus mumbled, his head still laying on the table, his right arm covering his eyes. “Anything else?”
“Well… I was wondering if ‘Dite was here.”
“You know, you may not believe this, but Aphrodite doesn’t really hang out here. She doesn’t like the heat and smoke and noise. And there’s the fact that I work here… don’t really have time to pay attention to her… or anyone else for that matter,” Hephaestus grumbled, lowering his arm in order to glare at his brother.
“Got it. See ya.” Ares waved goodbye and left quickly in a shower of red sparks.
Hephaestus’ arm came back up to cover his eyes and he gave himself five minutes to mock wallow before he went back to work.
~*~*~*~
Hephaestus was going to go crazy any moment now. He was sure that in the last week more than half of Olympus had come barging into his forge, demanding his time and attention to their petty necessities, all of them asking to be put on the top of his ‘to-do’ list using various means of bribery and threats.
He was feeling overworked and decided that now that he had finished this special project he’d kidnap his wife and take a week off. Go to some far away, unpopulated land and just rest… in between of bouts of lovemaking, of course. The rest of Olympus could wait a week… and he’d supplied Cupid with enough arrows to last him a month.
He had his two latest creations packaged in two ornamental boxes he’d carved long ago but until now hadn’t had any use for them. Looking out through the opened door that led to outside work area, Hephaestus smiled. He used the few minutes to spare to clean up a bit, washing his hands and face and taking a drink of water.
Hephaestus was drying his face with a towel when his name was called out in desperation. He dropped the soft cloth in order to see Joxer materialize inside his forge, worry and anxiety clouding his face.
“Heph! You gotta help me! I haven’t found Ares a-”
Joxer bit off his sentence as his husband’s trademark red sparks heralded Ares’ arrival to Hephaestus’ forge.
“Joxer! What are you doing here?”
“Me? What about you? I asked you to wait for me at home.”
“I needed-”
“To pick this up,” Hephaestus interrupted. “I’m sorry you guys ruined each other’s surprises. But here are your gifts. Now go home and exchange them and if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking a week off,” he said, handing Joxer the long, thin box and the large square one to Ares.
Joxer’s smile could have blinded Apollo as he enthusiastically hugged Hephaestus. “Oh, thank you, Heph! You’re the best!”
Heph patted Joxer’s back and smiled as the younger god stepped back.
“Thanks, little brother.”
“Anytime, Ares.”
Ares turned to Joxer and held a hand out. Joxer went willingly into his lover’s arms then turned to wave goodbye to Hephaestus as they disappeared. Hephaestus sighed as Joxer knocked over the vase once more with the long package containing Ares’ gift.
Deciding that the Fates actually wanted that vase dead, he cleaned up the mess with a wave of his hand.
~*~*~*~
The next day found Hephaestus and Aphrodite relaxing on a beach in a small tropical island on the other side of the ocean.
“What’s this place called again, Hephie?” Aphrodite asked as they walked hand in hand on the sand, the water lapping lightly over their feet.
“The locals call it Borinken. It’s a nice place… nice weather.”
“It’s awesome, Hephie. We should come here every year.”
“We will. I certainly need the break once in a while.”
“So what did you make for the boys?” Aphrodite asked as they settled on a blanket Hephaestus conjured for them.
Hephaestus smiled as he dropped his head on his wife’s lap. “Well, Ares had been sniffing around my forge for a few months. Helping me balance new swords and asking to borrow a few to show off during war discussions with his warlords. So I made him a new sword. Extremely efficient, but very impressively decorated. Multiuse sword, I’m calling it.”
“That’s perfect for Ares. And Joxie?”
“Well, Joxer’s been after Ares to let him join him in battle. And after eleven years of training, I think Ares is going to finally cave in. So I made Joxer some new leathers and armor.”
“Were they surprised?”
“A bit. But after six years of coming to me last minute, asking if I could make them anniversary gifts, they hid their surprise well.”
“You’re the best, Hephie,” Aphrodite said, leaning down to kiss her husband.
The end.
End notes: Borinken… hehehe… that’s me putting Puerto Rico in my stories… Borinken was the name the Taino Indians gave my beautiful island before is was ‘discovered’. It’s in our national anthem and we still use it as a pride thing.
