Tara watched the scene before her unfold detachedly. They’ve been keeping close tabs on each other since Buffy sacrificed herself for Dawn, and Anya’s death later in the hospital. Two days ago, was the last time they had seen Xander, and had gotten deeply worried. He had been so... hollow after what happened.

Willow, Dawn and her had gone to Xander’s new apartment only to find it stripped bare of everything, except the appliances. They found no note, no clue as to where the broken young man had gone. Giles and Willow immediately found a spell to locate Xander.

By the time they narrowed the search to a hotel a few miles outside Sunnydale, Spike arrived to the Magic Box. Assured that Spike could scent out Xander in a hotel, they piled up into Willow’s Highlander, and drove off.

Sitting next to Spike, Tara noticed how tense the vampire was, his jaw clenched and ready-to-bolt posture. Somewhere, in the back of their minds, they knew, Spike knew, what they’d find, yet they clung onto that bit of hope that they weren’t too late.

Willow pulled into an empty parking space and unlocked the doors. As soon as Spike opened his door, he looked up sharply and jumped out of the SUV, then ran to one of the farthest doors of the complex. He kicked the door open, and to our despair, entered without having to invited in.

We ran to catch up, but came up short at the doorway.

The small radio was playing on one of those soft rock stations, the curtains were pulled shut and a few boxes littered around the cold hotel room, and Tara could see that each had one of their names written on them.

And in the center of the room, Spike cradled the still body of their friend.

Willow ran to their side, dropped to her knees and shook Xander’s body roughly. I vaguely registered her words over the sobs of Dawn and Giles, and they heart breaking, hair raising wailing that Spike was making as he pried Xander from Willow and pulled the body close to him, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

The radio changed songs, and I wondered what god was playing a sick joke on us, when I heard the song that came on. As the chorus started, and Sarah Mclachlan sang about arms of an angel, I waved my hand angrily, making the radio fly through the room and crash into the wall, breaking into non-song-playing pieces.

Spike’s blond hair and insistent wails looked too much like a guardian angel mourning the loss of their charge to me.

Yet Xander won’t be able to find the comfort his arms offered.

 

Lyrics

Spend all your time waiting 

For that second chance 

For a break that would make it okay 

There's always one reason 

To feel not good enough 

And it's hard at the end of the day 

I need some distraction 

Oh beautiful release 

Memory seeps from my veins 

Let me be empty 

And weightless and maybe 

I'll find some peace tonight

 

In the arms of an angel 

Fly away from here 

From this dark cold hotel room 

And the endlessness that you fear 

You are pulled from the wreckage 

Of your silent reverie 

You're in the arms of the angel 

May you find some comfort there

 

So tired of the straight line 

And everywhere you turn 

There's vultures and thieves at your back 

And the storm keeps on twisting 

You keep on building the lie 

That you make up for all that you lack 

It don't make no difference 

Escaping one last time 

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh 

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

 

In the arms of an angel 

Fly away from here 

From this dark cold hotel room 

And the endlessness that you fear 

You are pulled from the wreckage 

Of your silent reverie 

You're in the arms of the angel 

May you find some comfort there 

You're in the arms of the angel 

May you find some comfort here