Book one By Mystfaery
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Feedback: please, please I'm begging,
Synopsis: What if Buffy had a child in the summer after Becoming…
Spoilers: nothing major
NB: This Book doesn't end with B/A together but the series will
Dedication: Hell on earth thank you so much for your support

Prologue: 1998 July 5th

A petite blonde girl cradled a tiny baby in her arms. The girl's face was awash with tears as she tiredly looked down at the infant's face. A large well-meaning lady carrying a clipboard and several papers stepped into the bright hospital room.

"Good morning miss, how ya feeling?" the lady's voice was warm and her presence filled the room.

"I'm fine. I just…" her voice cracked, a sob came out but she continued on "want to get this over and done with."

"I know it's hard but I have to talk to you about this, you have to be sure this is what you want. You know adoption is an awfully big step."

Closing her eyes for a moment the teen murmured "I know."

"Right then," her voice was brisk and business like. "First I need your name and the fathers name, if you know it, written on this form and I need you to sign it as well. Oh, and if you want to suggest a name for the baby you can write it here. The parents often take the ideas of the birth parents to at least give the child some idea of where they came from."

As the lady talked the blonde wrote her name in the box labelled 'Mother's name.' And hesitated at the fathers name box. Noticing her hesitation the social worker stopped mid-ramble and reassured her. "That's okay, if you don't know the father's name, just don't fill in the box."

"No, he deserves this, I just don't know what to call him."

Puzzled by this the woman replied "call him what you knew him as."

Quickly the girl wrote down the only name he had ever had and ever deserved to have- at lease in her mind. Her eyes filled with tears thinking of him. The teen's hand moved down to the dotted line labelled 'signature.' And feeling like she was signing her own death warrant, signed away her baby.

She stared at the paper for a moment, and then her reflection was broken when a plump hand snatched away the clipboard.

"That's it then, do you have a name you want to call the small one?"

"Angelica."

The lady wrote it down on the form "Okay, can I have the baby now?"

The girl's face fell and she said in a very quiet voice "it's over Angelica, I'm so sorry, but remember I loved you so much and your daddy would've loved you too." She pulled out a pig and spoke to the lady "Do you think you could give this to her parents or whoever is looking after my baby."

"I'll see, can I have the child?"

The girl bent down and tenderly kissed the baby "Goodbye, baby."

And as the social worker and the baby walked out of the room, the blonde slumped back suddenly looking so much paler in the hospital bed.

July 5th 2001:

"Buffy look, I care for you honestly I do, but there's a part of you that I just can't reach."

"Riley, I do lo...care for you, truthfully I do, I just can't…"

"You see that's it, you can't really love anyone apart from Angel, and how can I or any other guy live up to your expectations when you want us to fail because we're no him."

"I just want a normal life."

"That's all I was to you Buffy, normal life guy and I'm sorry but I deserve more than that, I deserve a girl who can love me for me not for the supposed normal life I can offer."

"I don't just see you as normal, I see you as Riley."

"Buffy, I'm going to leave, I suggest you find your normal life and your normal children with someone else, I can't live with Angel hanging over me."

Riley briskly walked to the door, behind him in the brightly decorated dorm room, Buffy's face crumpled at the mention of children, she fell to her bed and curled up in a ball holding her stomach muttering "Angelica, oh my go, Angelica. You'll be three today my darling, but I lost you just like I've lost everything."

Willow coming in later, having seen Riley and had their break up explained to her, found her still faintly rocking. Assuming that 'Angelica' had something to do with Angel, Willow gathered Buffy up in her arms and held her as the vampire slayer remembered heartbreak and why she could never be in a good relationship.

End prologue.

Part one: 2003

Kate rang AI impatiently looking uneasily at the small dark haired child in front of her. The girl was swinging her legs in front of her and sucking her thumb, she was wearing a tattered and stained red dress, her knees showing below the dress were grass-stained and her innocent eyes were wide and troubled.

"Cordelia, thank god, I caught you, it's Kate." She listened for a moment, shooting a glance at the child. "Umm, yeah, look I know it's early but if either you, Doyle or Angel can come down here, I've got a problem right up your alley." Again she listened and the child drew her knees up against herself. "I know, I know." Her voice rose in annoyance. "Look I have a major problem and I have to get rid of it before anyone else sees it or I won't be able to cover it up." Knowing the fake blonde was talking about her the child clutched her pink pig closer to her and started rocking.

"Thank you so much, I'll meet you here in ten minutes." Kate put down the phone and walked over to the scared girl.

"Some one will be here for you in a moment."

Kate was jittering nervously when Cordelia entered the room, the little girl's eyes moved to her.

"Thank god you arrived, I'm totally going against all department rules."

Elegantly Cordelia replied to her rambling "Yes, okay, whatever, what is this big supernatural trouble?"

Still shaking slightly Kate pointed to the child and stated "She is." She noticed the look of disbelief on Cordelia's face and defended herself. "I think she's some kind of a vampire. A couple of weeks ago she was returned to the orphanage be her latest parents because they believed she was a devil child because she and I quote made 'men explode.' And today all the other children in her ward were killed by draining of blood, add to that the fact that she has a long history of families not wanting her because of weird occurrences including being found near animals drained of blood. It's all in the folder, just please take her." Kate pushed the girl up and towards Cordelia. "Go with her, Cordelia her names Angelica. Thank you." Kate all but pushed them out of the door.

Looking bemused at the closed door, Cordelia offered her perfectly manicured hand to the grubby little girl, Angelica looked up at her for a long moment and Cordelia had the strangest sensation that the child was judging her, then reached out with her own to hold the ex-cheerleaders hand. The mismatched two slowly walked down the hallway.

Part two:

Cordelia paid the taxi and still holding onto the child- who quite simply would not let her hand go- and mumbling about how much Angel owed her this month, made her way into AI. Doyle met her as she entered the office. "What was the copper's problem, Princess? I haven't got a vision about it yet."

Sighing Cordelia related the story. Doyle crouched down to eye level with the child and began questioning Angelica "so, you're the lass that supposedly caused so much trouble, aye?"

Still holding Cordelia's hand tightly in her grubby one, she nodded.

"Don't suppose you want to let go of 'Delia, now do ya?"

Again the child did not speak, but shook her head violently.

Cordelia entered the one-sided conversation "Well, I think we should totally look at the papers the fake blonde officer forced upon us or rather me. Maybe we can find out who Angelica." The child looked up at Cordy. "Is. Honey, do you want to sit down and have a cookie?" the head was nodded and Cordelia reaching her desk pulled out a jar of biscuits and handed Angelica a chocolate one. Angelica let go of Cordelia's hand in order to devour the cookie, staring at the ex-beauty queen like she was going to abandon her. slowly the child made her way to the chairs that lined the waiting room her eyes never leaving Cordy's face.

Grabbing the files Cordelia glanced over them "Okay, well Doyle, you can ummm read over the latest things and I'll go over the background, at least until Angel wakes up. Okay?"

In answer Doyle reached out for the folder and taking his half sat down at the desk. Angelica was starting to whimper and so Cordelia sat down next to her. The brunette child curled up next to her still clutching the worn pink pig tightly.

Part three:

For a few moments there was no sound apart from the rustling of papers and the occasional creaking of a chair. Suddenly Cordelia squeaked loudly and began babbling nonsense. Slightly alarmed Doyle stood up and made his way over to her. "Princess, what's the matter?"

The sound had awoken Angelica who reached up with her hand and patted Cordelia's cheek, this movement seemed to calm Queen C down and she was able to exclaim in a piercing tone.

"My god. Doyle look at this, her Birth Certificate. Read it. Oh My God."

Taking the document form her trembling hand, Doyle started to read it out loud.

"Angelica, no surname. Born 5th July to Buffy" his voice slowed in amazement "Anne Summers and… this can't be right, not our boss, he's a…" Doyle glanced at Angelica "V.A.M.P.I.R.E."

Cordelia protested "But think about it and look at her, she looks so much like them both and Buffy was missing a that summer. It's so possible I mean they did do the nasty as Angel lost his soul and went all mass murderery. Do you have any idea what this would mean to them both?"

Angel turned again in his bed, his night, or rather day had been filled with feverish dreams of him and Buffy before her 17th birthday, her 17th birthday, Angelus and the way she was so different after he returned from hell. Last of all came the most recent memories everything they had ever wanted when he was human and his sacrifice. Finally growling and giving up on sleep Angel paced out to his Kitchen. He could hear the faint sounds of a disagreement above him in the office, and supposed he should go and have a look and see what was so traumatising to Cordy that she could be heard down here. Grabbing a blood bag he poured it into a mug and placing it in the microwave, left it to get dressed.

On his way back, not dressed in his characteristic black he grabbed the now warm blood from the microwave. Running a hand through his hair, Angel walked up the stairs. The office would be safe even at this time in the day, the tinted glass assured that. He paused outside the door hearing Doyle calming Cordelia down saying it wasn't possible, not until he heard her loud retort of

"But he has a soul!!" did Angel realise they were talking about him and entered the room. He noticed immediately that the small girl huddled up beside Cordy was the main thing out of place. The argument had quietened with his entrance and he took a moment to look over the little girl. Grubby and grass-stained she clutched a pig in her arms- a very familiar pig- in two long strides he was next to her placing his mug on the coffee table, he questioned the child brusquely "Where did you get Mister Gordo?"

Angelica sat up straighter and speaking for the first time lisped out "My mommy left him for me."

Standing up, Angel looked at the girl again, she was sniffing the air, the child seemed so familiar….

"Angel, there's something we have to tell you. Doyle go into the other room, so you don't upset Angelica."

"Why me Princess? Can't you tell him?"

"No, I have to uhh." Cordelia glanced around "clean up and file things, yeah that's it."

Frustrated by his lack of knowledge of what his employees were talking about Angel said "one of you just tell me already."

Cordelia looked at Doyle with her eyes wide and he groaned "Okay mate, I'll tell ya but you owe me big time Cordy."

Angel followed the Irish half-demon into the office and Angelica reached over for the coffee table. Cordelia was again engrossed in reading the details of Angelica's file.

A loud "What?!?!" caused them both to jump but Angelica reached her prize clutching the mug to her. She took a drink at the same time as Angel strode out of the office angry "Cordelia, this is not possible!!"

"Look Angel, it so is, I mean just think about it. The timing is right, eight months she could have been a preemie birth." Cordelia's voice rose defending her belief. "and Buffy was losing so much weight with worry over you and what you would do she wouldn't show much and then she was wearing the most awful baggy clothing."

Angel – who had been quiet throughout Cordelia's tirade- spoke up quietly. "One little problem in your answer I am a vampire, and vampire's can't have children."

"Giles or someone once said that there are no guarantees with a souled vamp, or something like that but my point is that who's to say a vamp with a soul with a slayer can't have children?"

"She has to be some other guys, Buffy could have been cheating on me."

Cordelia's face and voice were scornful as she answered him "Please, Little Miss –I will always love Angel-Slayer? Doubt it. Do you really think that little of the woman you supposedly 'love'? Besides wasn't Angelus following her around after the change and you before you guys did the horizontal mambo.?"

Glancing over at Angelica, Angel dived for her. "Hey! That's my blood she's drinking!" As Angel attempted to take the mug from his daughter, she growled and her face morphed into a miniature version of his own 'grrr' face. Angel leapt back slightly shocked. Laughing Doyle cut in "I'm thinking that answers the question of whether she's yours' or not, aye?"

Beginning to laugh also Cordelia looked from Angel to Angelica, both were in their vamp faces now. Angel was growling slightly and Angelica was huddled up against the chairs clutching the mug of blood to her chest. Her precious pig had been abandoned in favour of an even more precious necessity.

Part Four:

Wesley stood in the doorway surveying the chaos in front of him; Cordelia and Doyle were laughing near hysterically on one side of the room. Angel was seated on the ground with a little girl who was clutching a mug sitting on his lap.

"I must say this astounds me. What have you got up to in my absence?"

"Wesley." Angel scrambled to his feet, still holding his child to his chest.

"I wasn't expecting you home yet."

Wesley looked slightly put out "Spike happened upon the demon and managed to slay it by luck and the protection charm Willow had made for him. A very fascinating exercise although I feel rather let down as neither Giles or I were needed. However on another not, I again query what had gone on here?"

Angelica squirmed in Angel's arms until he put her down, she moved towards the now calmer Cordelia. Angel started "Well Wesley, it's a long story."

"No it's not." Doyle cut in. "It's easy, see this lass." He gestured towards Angelica now clutching her pig and Cordy's leg. " is Angel's and " he paused from dramatic effect "Buffy's child."

"Buffy Summers!! As in the slayer!?" Wesley spluttered. "But that's… that's… impossible!!!"

Cordelia stated slowly "Wes, don't you think it's kind of not impossible as she's standing here?"

"Yes, But slayer's can't have children."

"What?!?!" the three voices rose in question.

"They can't - it's a protection thing and then bring in the fact that you," he nodded towards Angel, "were a vampire. It's just not possible so this child must be a miracle, yes I must go and research it now." With that the ex-watcher turned rogue demon hunter departed.

Queen C watched him go with a bemused expression on her face "Sheesh, can none of those watchers speak the basic English language? Can't believe I had a crush on him." She turned to Angel "I guess were keeping Angelica, right? 'cause if you don't want her, I'll take her." Cordy picked up the small child and held her in her arms.

"What? Mmm yeah we'll be keeping her. I am her father and the fact she's a half vampire would make life hard for her."

Cordelia in a spiteful tone murmured "Geez don't sound like you want her or anything." Angel however did not hear her his attention taken up by Doyle.

"When will ya be telling the lass's mother then?"

"Doyle, Cordelia, I won't tell Buffy, she gave her up. She doesn't want her, we can be her family."

"But Angel." Cordelia burst out in defense of the girl she had once despised.

"She thought you were dead!! Buffy had no friends, no family and no home. I mean who out of the slayerettes would have opened their doors to her if she had the child of Angelus? Giles would have convinced her to kill Angelica or done it himself. She did what she thought was best for Angelica. Buffy had no idea that you would come back, she assumed that hell was forever. God, it must have killed her to give up her child, but she loved her enough to do it."

"Let me make this clear, Cordelia, neither you or Doyle will tell Buffy about Angelica, she gave her up the right."

His eyes steely, Angel looked at them both waiting until they both nodded, then left.

"Ooo , he's so wrong, she needs to know."

"Now Princess, don't meddle."

"I won't - for now." She shook a sleepy Angelica "Honey, come on you can sleep in my flat down-stairs, we'll go shopping shopping for you later 'k?"

"'k" came the tired answer the tired answer as Angelica was lifted up by Cordelia and carried down-stairs,

Angel POV:

I'm so angry at Buffy; all I can do is pound at my punching bag. It's not so much that she adopted the baby out-and failed at that- I can barely understand that, but I can live with that. The point is that she lied to me-not outright, true but she never told me I had a *child *, a child who needed me, a child who was living in an orphanage, our child.

That hurts so badly that Buffy put *our child behind her, letting the past go, I don't know her anymore. But I won't let my past with her mother effect my relationship with my daughter. My *daughter * I can't believe it I never thought this would happen.

Angelica's POV:

I'm so warm and cuddly, the bed is nice and the pretty lady is standing outside the door watching me, I'm so sleepy. I still have Pink even though the nice man with a monster face like mine called her Mister Gordo, she isn't a boy! I like this place, I'm not hungry and I don't have to catch the nice animals. I was scared that when my monster face came out they would be scared of me and call me names- everyone else has- but they didn't. I think I'm going to like it here, I'm so tired, I'm going to sleep with the pretty lady watching over me…I wish she was my mommy.

Cordelia POV:

I stand outside my room's door watching her sleep in my bed; I feel my heart breaking as I watch her. She's so little, but she must have had a really hard life. Her features are a perfect mixture of Buffy and Angel's, her pixie face, his chocolately eyes and hair. She's a beautiful child, - a living representation of their love. It sounds soppy, but that's what she is, by rights she shouldn't exist but she does another amazing thing created by the doomed love between a vampire and a slayer. It broke my heart when she clung to me, like no one had ever been that kind to her. I wish Angel would tell Buffy, he can't let his anger and hurt over the Riley thing cloud his judgement. She deserves to know about Angelica, I'm sure she loves her as much as I'm starting to. Looking at her I remember my childhood, like her no one gave a damn the only difference was I had everything a child could want –except love. I feel so strongly that this won't happen to the fairy child sleeping in front of me, she won't have that kind of childhood from now on. If Angel won't tell Buffy, I'll be her Mother. Me, a kind of mom, who would da thunk it?"

End Book one of Whose child is this?