By Mystfaery
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Feedback: please, please I'm begging,
Synopsis: Angel's reflection on how unfair life is
Spoilers: B/A relationship
Dedication: Hell on earth thank you so much for your support

Is life really fair? I don't think so. That fact that she was a slayer and I was a vampire and yet we fell in love wasn't fair, it broke all the rules and yet it was so right. She gave something to hope for something to love. Is the fact that on the night I was most human the gypsy's curse tore away my soul fair? How about that for the months after when she couldn't kill me because she still loved me even through I killed her friends, that wasn't fair.

How about the fact that I got my soul back just as the mouth to hell was opening and to save the world you had to send me to hell. I don't think that was fair- for either of us- me having to deal with hell for the centuries and her for having to deal with the guilt of sending me to hell. Then I came back, that wasn't fair to her. She was moving on, learning to live without me then I came back and disrupted her whole world. The knowledge that we couldn't touch and yet loving so much, wasn't fair. That's why I broke up with her, to give her a chance for normality, a chance for things to be fair. We, no I should have known nothing work out.

We can't leave each other alone, that isn't fair. And the vision of Doyle's brought me back to Sunnydale, then her following me. I wonder if the fates have it in for me. My humanity was returned. But it wasn't fair because she would have to give up her life for mine. So, I did the fair thing for her at least and became a vampire again. Is her not remembering fair? Not to me but it is for her.

Her new Boytoy isn't fair for me, living with the knowledge she's moved on and loves another. That isn't fair that she can screw him and any other guy to her hearts content but can't touch me, my curse makes me off limits. Who really said that life and unlife is fair, because it isn't and nothing ever is.