In about 3 years a shocking news report will make millions of Shane fans (other Westlife members won't have any fans anymore) from all over the world break down and go mad. This is what will be in the report:
"Shanelife's Shane, also know as 'Shallow Shaney', has been shot by fellow band member Mark Feehily. In an exclusive interview, right after the crime was committed, the 25 year old former 'Westlife' hunk says: "It had to be done! We all hated Shane from the bottom of our hearts and someone just had to pull my erhm... the trigger!".
Asked why they all hated Shane, blonde cutie Nicky Byrne answers: "It just wasn't fair! Shane could get everything he wanted, whenever he wanted it, leaving us with nothing! 7 years ago when we started as Westlife, he seemed to be a very nice guy, he actually became one of my best mates inside the band, but after 5 years of scoring no. 1 hits, recording tracks, touring and promoting albums, the real Shane revealed himself. It all started when he began to steal our girlfriends and wives. You'd think his own wife, Gillian, would be enough for him but hell no! He wanted more!"
First he seduced Kerry Katona (ex-wife of the now deceased Bryan McFadden). Then later on he became even more greedy, and stole away Georgina Ahern, who had just married Byrne at the time. Not satisfied yet he continued stealing Kian Egan's and Mark Feehily's girlfriends as well.
As if he hadn't given his fellow band members enough reason to hate him yet, he claimed 98% of the incomes of the band, which he, strikingly enough, got!
All that happened in 2 months time. "What our fans thought of it?" a dumbstruck Kian Egan repeats the question being asked "We didn't even have fans anymore! Even that he stole away from us! And apparently he was so charming that the fans even let him get away with the murder on our bandmate Bryan McFadden! Can you believe that?!" "We were nothing but puppets in his game of making as much money as possible with the least effort from his side! He made Mark, Kian and me write all the songs we've brought out the past 3 years, and they had to go straight to the no. 1 spot, else he'd make sure our salaries would be reduced massively! It was a living hell!!!" Byrne fills Egan in.
Shanelife was formerly known as Westlife. When Filan announced he wanted to change the name into 'Shanelife' McFadden came up against it. Enough reason for Filan to kill McFadden. It has never been proven that Filan actually committed the crime, but his motive was obvious, and besides McFadden, a gun and Filan himself, there was no one else in the room. Byrne, Egan and Feehily knew for sure it was Shane who killed their mate. The rest of the world, all in a Shane-loving trance just wouldn't believe a guy as decent and nice as Filan supposedly was, could have killed his own bandmate. Filan even had the judge convinced and was found innocent.
Now the world's most popular guy has been shot and died 20 minutes later, the world seems to have woken up from a very unrealistic trance. There were only 7 none Shane fans left on this world, the three Shanelife members included. Everybody's world revolved around Shane Filan and now he's dead. Feehily's reaction to this: "We know this will be considered a worldwide disaster, but everybody's gotta believe us; it was for the best! You people just had to wake up and realise this couldn't go on anymore!"
Now the world has "woken up" the question is, what will happen next? Is there any life possible without their Shane Filan? According to Nicky Byrne there is. "I know it will be hard for people to get on with their lives, we know how much Shane affected you all, but all of you people have got to believe he was nothing but a nasty virus, that had to be killed! Just try to pick up your lives and eventually you will all get over Shane. As for Kian, Mark and me, our future is still very uncertain. Mark will probably be arrested, but we won't allow him to take all the blame. All three of us will probably end up in jail for a few years. When we get out it's very unlikely we'll be returning to the music bizz, but who knows. It's very sad Westlife, or Shanelife, whatever you prefer, has to end like this, but it's the cold hard truth and Shane's ego's to blame."
So far the story of Westlife, once a very succesful band, with very happy bandmembers, now... history.
Article by: 1 of the 7 none Shane fans in this world."
What happens after Shane's death is this:
The whole world, shocked by the death of Shane Filan will simply pine away. People stop working, stop eating and eventually stop breathing. How hard the 7 none Shane fans try to make people come to their senses, it won't work. The world is bound to be lifeless.
Fortunately, among the 7 none Shane fans there are 3 girls. Mark, Kian and Nicky decide it will be for the best to try and produce as many kids as possible, and this way, try to save humanity. Kian gets it on with a red-haired girl from Holland (the journalist who wrote the article), Nicky tries his best with a blonde girl from England and Mark (who'll also be chased by the only gay none Shane fan) will make a lot of babies with an American dark-haired none Shane fan... If they'll eventually save the world with a lot of beautiful babies?! I don't have a clue, that's where my visions get blurry...
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