I smiled to myself as I noticed the many differences between Nick and Brian.  For one thing, Nick was a messy eater.  I couldn't help but crack up as I watched him eating his Chinese food.  He seemed so content with what he was doing - never realizing the bits of food that flew all over the table.  Brian, on the other hand, was extremely well-mannered and wouldn't dare chew with his mouth open.  He even went as far as to say a short prayer before every meal.  I almost burst out laughing watching the puzzled yet amused expression on Nick's face as we were all forced to join hands around the dinner table.  I also took note of the way they drank soda.  Nick would gulp it down all at once and immediately pour himself another glass.  Brian took small sips, carefully placing down his cup each time.  These two men who claimed to be best friends were as different as day and night. 

It had been eating me up inside all throughout dinner… for some reason Nick had been able to reach me when I didn't think anyone else could possibly understand.  He had even revealed his more sensitive side to me - which only made me want him more.  He had this way about him… something I'd never seen before in anyone.  His ability to turn me on was greater than any other guy I'd ever talked to.  He also had the power to make me nervous and weak - something I swore a guy would never be able to do to me.  I admired his persistence and loved the way he looked directly at me. 

"Colleen, are you alright?" came the sound of Brian's soft voice.

"Hmm? Fine," I murmured.  "Where's Nick?" 

"Where have you been, baby? He went to buy ice cream for dessert, don't you remember?" he questioned, a look of concern clouding his eyes.

"Oh, right… I remember," I lied.  "I guess I kinda spaced out there for a second." 

"Not just for a second, Col.  You've been acting weird all throughout dinner.  I'm worried about you and it makes me sick to my stomach because you won't tell me what's bothering you."  I could tell by his face that he was getting angry.  He was trying really hard not to blow up at me, but it was bound to happen sooner or later…

"Look, Bri, I don't know what to tell you.  Do you want me to make something up?"

His eyes were burning into mine, attempting to force the truth out of me. 

"If you don't want to be with me anymore, just say it.  Because I feel like you've completely lost interest in me and that hurts," he stated, slowly forcing himself to continue, "But just tell me straight out so that we can get it over with and I can move on." 

I stared at him for awhile, not quite knowing what to say.  If I told him what was really on my mind - it would kill him.  He would most likely never speak to either me or Nick again.  It would be the end of a friendship… something I wasn't prepared to be responsible for.

"Bri, I don't want to break up with you," I sighed, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear.  I felt as though I was digging myself a grave… the more I lied, the deeper the hole got.

"Yeah, you do.  It's alright," he muttered, icily.  "Me and you ended the night you met Nick.  I've just been stalling for awhile, hoping that maybe I was wrong.  But tonight told me everything I needed to know - you love Nick."

"I don't love Nick," I snapped. 

"Oh, sorry.  What I meant to say is that you want to screw him.  I forgot that you're incapable of being in love," he retorted.

As hard as I tried to let that comment roll off my back - it wouldn't.  He was right… was I that transparent?

"Are you dumping me?" I asked, my face twisted with confusion.

"Yeah, Col, I am.  It's too bad, ya know?  We never even really had a chance.  I wish you understood what you're getting yourself into because Nick Carter doesn't love either."

I was completely speechless as I stood there, feeling like a complete idiot.  I wasn't expecting him to end things with me… on the contrary I was waiting for him to say something mind blowing that would make me melt into his arms. 

"You weren't anticipating that, were you?"  I was beginning to think that he could read my mind…

"No, guess I wasn't," I shrugged.  "I wish you would've done this sooner, Brian.  We wasted so much time."  I was putting up a false exterior… he didn't need to know how hurt I was.  Being dumped was something completely new to me - and the feeling was horrible. 

"I wouldn't go as far as saying that we wasted time," he said sadly, "but it's good to know what I meant to you."  The pained expression on his face washed away all of the resentment I was feeling.

"I didn't mean it like that, Brian.  I'm sorry.  You're really special to me and I want you to be in my life.  If not as my boyfriend, then as my friend," I replied, my expression hopeful as he diverted his attention to the doorknob.  I took a deep breath as Nick walked in.  He flashed me a quick smile as he made his way into the kitchen, oblivious as to what me and Brian were discussing.

"Why so serious?" Nick questioned, flashing me a look before he settled himself down on the couch with a bowl of ice cream.

"Nick, you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?" I responded, begging him with my eyes to cooperate.

"Don't make him leave, Colleen.  We really have nothing left to discuss.  I made the mistake of falling in love with you."  With that, he left the room. 

I stared after him, realizing that going after him was pointless.  In a bizarre way I was ecstatic that Brian broke up with me.  I could now do whatever I wanted with whoever I wanted… Nick.   I looked over towards him, feeling the awkwardness in the room. 

"Umm… what just happened here?" he asked, his eyes wide with perplexity. 

I had to laugh.  He was completely clueless as to what just went down… "You just witnessed the conclusion of Brian dumping me."

"No way!" he laughed.  "He gave you the boot?  He's insane…"

"Maybe," I sighed.  "I'm not upset, though.  If anything I feel bad."

"Why?"

"Because he knows about us, Nick.  He knew the whole time… he just kept it to himself hoping that he was wrong."

"Eh, I figured he knew," he replied, his expression completely blank.  "Guess I lost a friend, huh?"

"I'm sorry.  But I couldn't - "

"Don't worry about it.  Eventually he'll get over it," he interrupted.  He waved his hand as if brushing aside everything that had just occurred.  "So what now?"

"Don't know," I shrugged, absently playing with a strand of my hair.

"Well, I have an idea," he grinned.  "Let's have sex."

"Excuse me?!" I screeched, barely able to control my anger. 

"What? Something I said?"

"Jeez, Nick you're so damn blunt," I muttered.  "I'm not going to jump into bed with you right away."

"Why Col?  The only thing that stopped us before was Brian.  He's not an issue anymore."

"He is," I stated honestly.

"It's just sex.  It's not like there's any emotion attached.  What's the big deal?"

For some reason that statement said more to me than it should have.  I shook my head slowly, coming to the startling realization that I was fawning over the wrong man.  Brian was obviously right… he didn't love.

"Get out," I said, my voice hardly above a whisper.

"No, I'm not leaving.  How come what I said is bothering you so much?"

"You fucking tricked me," I shouted.  "You made me believe that you had real feelings for me.  You fucking sweet-talked me into falling for you."  My eyes were practically on fire with rage as I stared unflinchingly at him. 

He didn't say anything to me… no denial, no begging and pleading…

I shot him a quick glare before grabbing my car keys and jetting out the door.

Sophia's View

"Damn Sophia, you sure know how to cook pasta," AJ gushed, shoving another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Aw, thank you baby.  I should be a professional chef, no?" I laughed, wondering how he could possibly find my pasta appealing.

Here I was having an actual date with a man.  The last time I declared a date official was… never.  I had broken it off with Kevin just five minutes before AJ arrived.  They missed each other by seconds… AJ pulled up just as Kevin was halfway down the block.  Kevin was upset, but handled it with grace and stability.  What was probably most surprising to me was the fact that he agreed to be my friend.  Of course, he didn't know that I was dumping him for AJ.  That probably would've caused a dilemma. 

My feelings for AJ were extremely strong, but I chose to ignore them.  I wasn't ready to settle down and be loyal to one man.  Hell, I'd probably never be ready for that kind of commitment.  My major concern now was for my own personal pleasure, as always.  AJ could never know how I felt about him because then he would want me to be his girlfriend; that would mean we'd actually have to talk more than we do now. 

"Sophia, you're making a mess of yourself!  Want me to get you a napkin?" he offered, gawking at my sloppy face.

"Nah," I grinned, "why don't you come over here and lick it off me?"

"Gross," he frowned, clearly not wanting to partake in my offer.

"Fine," I grumbled, reaching over the table to grab a napkin.  "Your loss."

The loud ringing of the phone forced me to end my glaring contest with AJ.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Umm.. Sophia?"

"What?"

"Oh, hey… I wasn't sure it was you.  Is AJ there by any chance?  It's Nick by the way."

"Eh, hold on."  I practically threw the phone at AJ as he looked up to give me a questioning glance.  "It's Nick."

AJ's View

"Thanks dude," I sighed.

"Huh?"

"You saved me from the wrath of Sophia.  Just because I didn't wanna lick tomato sauce off her face, jeez."

"Ok then.  There's a more important issue at hand."

"Which is?"

"Brian dumped Colleen," he said, excitedly.

"Alright… how is that important?" I replied, not seeing the big deal.

"Oh Lord, you don't listen to me do you?  You know the way I feel about her."

"Right…"

"Yeah but I made a mistake.  As soon as Brian left the room I sorta, uhh asked her for sex," he whispered, as if he was ashamed to tell me.

"You're such a dumbass," I groaned.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"But then again, how is she different from any other girl?  You don't fall in love, Nick."

"I'm not in love.  But I could easily fall for her.  Right now I just like her a lot.  But you see I fucked things up already," he replied, exhaling noisily.

"Well what do you want me to say?  I kinda have my own thing to deal with over here."

"Eh, whatever.  I know now I can't call you for simple advice."

"Simple?  Your problem doesn't exactly have a simple solution, Nick.  But it doesn't take a genius to realize that you have to go and talk to her - tell her how you feel and tell her the sex thing was only to cover up your emotions."

"Hmm that's good, McLean.  You still got it," he chuckled.

"No problem buddy, see ya later."

I took a deep breath as I made my way back into the dining room.  Sophia was sitting there, her arms crossed over her chest, flashing me multiple dirty looks. 

"I think me and you need to have a talk," I stated firmly, taking a seat across from her.

She continued to stare intently at me as I searched for the right way to say what I wanted to tell her.

"Alright I'm just gonna say it: I think you're using me for sex."

I was expecting her to jump up and tell me how untrue that statement was.  But she went on staring, never flinching. 

Sophia's View

"So… I'm right, aren't I?"

I chose to ignore him, debating what to say. 

"Sophia?  Am I right?" he repeated, his eyes fixed on mine.

"Yeah, you are right.  I was using you for sex this whole time.  You mean shit to me, McLean," I lied.  How could I sit there and tell him how I really felt?  I refused to let myself slip… I was born a player - I would die one as well. 

"I see," was all he managed to say.  I could tell that his feelings were hurt, but I was trying my best to think only of myself. 

"While you've caught me in an honest mood, I should tell you something else.  I've been messing around with Kevin too."

Silence.  Something I had never planned on telling him had just come flying out of my mouth.  But I didn't care.  I wanted to make him hate me… maybe then it wouldn't be so hard to stop loving him.

"I don't know what to say so I'm just gonna go," he said softly, grabbing his baseball cap and walking to the door.  "I wish I hadn't of wasted so much time.  You almost had me loving you."  With that said he left.  And what's worse… I let him go.