I love the water.  The water is the only solid thing in my life.  I used to have so many things to hold on to… now, the only thing left is the water.  As I walked towards the edge of the lengthy dock, I began to wonder whether I was doing the right thing.  Was I willing to leave behind my family, my friends… my life?  I slowly sat down on the hard wood, and let my feet hang out over the water.  It was pitch black and I was shivering, even though it was pretty warm out. 

"Oh God, I'm so sorry I have to do this.  I just can't hold on anymore," I mumbled out loud, throwing my head into my hands. 

I turned to look behind me, noticing that I had left the lights on in my car.  Normally I would run over to it and turn them off, so that my battery wouldn't die out.  But I don't care anymore.  I don't care about much of anything anymore.  What kind of a person am I?  I'm intentionally gonna take my life, and I don't give a crap about who I'll be leaving behind.  I'm not even considering the guys.  How will the Backstreet Boys be able to go on once I'm gone?  And will the fans be alright?  My mother… oh my God… would she be okay?  I didn't even leave a good-bye note or anything… 

I violently shook my head, as if to clear all of the doubts I had.  I slowly stood up, and took a deep breath.  I curled my toes around the edge of the dock, shaking more than ever.  I had to do this. 

Colleen's View

I was able to force myself to stop crying, as I made my way over to the long dock that stood a few feet away from me.  I was scared, shaking, crazy… was I crazy?  I will be leaving behind so much.  My family, my friends, my life.  Was I ready to give up my life? 

"God, please forgive me.  I wish I could be strong, and hang in there.  But I just can't anymore," I mumbled, taking a deep breath and making my way to the end of the extensive dock. 

I stopped short when I noticed a tall figure leaning over the edge.  I quickly ran over to him, but did so very quietly so I wouldn't scare him into falling over.  He was shivering violently, and mumbling something. 

"Uh - you're kinda close you know?" I whispered, motioning towards his feet. 

"I know," he answered, never taking his gaze off of the water.

"Are you scared?" I questioned, knowing he was here for the same reason I was.

"More than anything," he stammered, now uncurling his feet from the edge and backing away slightly. 

"Me too."

"You're here to jump too, aren't you?"  His eyes met mine for the first time, and I noticed how good looking he really was. 

"Yeah.  But I don't think I can go through with it.  I'm so scared," I choked out.

"Yes, but you know what's even more scary?"

I nodded and urged him to continue.

He quickly ran his hands through his hair, "What's even more scary is going through another day here on Earth."

I understood what he meant by that, "I know… sometimes suicide seems better than struggling to survive another day here."

We stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity.  The more I thought about it… the more I wanted to live.  Maybe suicide wasn't my last resort.  I could get help.  But I wasn't about to turn around and leave this guy here all by himself.

"Are you gonna jump?" I finally inquired.

"I'm only gonna jump if you jump," he retorted, only half smiling.

"Listen uh -"

"Nick."

"Listen Nick, I can't go through with it… and I'm not about to leave you behind.  I'm involved now."

"So uh-"

"Colleen."

"So Colleen, you're involved now?" he asked,  clearly puzzled.

"Maybe life is really tough, but ending our lives is so… so final.  I can't do it," I continued, "And I can't let you do it either.  Maybe you were gonna do it before I showed up here.  Maybe I was gonna do it if you hadn't been here.  But that doesn't matter now.  What matters is that we found each other.  Perhaps it's fate… or maybe just a coincidence.  I can't leave you here.  And if you're only gonna jump if I jump with you… then no one will be jumping off this dock tonight."

He seemed pretty convinced, and sat down, Indian style, on the hard wood of the dock.  I did the same.  We sat there, face to face, for awhile.  Neither one wanting to say anything.

"Can I ask you a personal question Nick?" I finally spoke.

"I guess so."

"Why were you gonna take your life?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing… but I'll answer first," he volunteered. 

I nodded, taking a deep breath.  I was fully prepared to tell this guy everything.  I have no idea what he's about, but I was still ready to spill my heart and soul to him. 

Brian's View

I had been sitting in this same position for the past hour or so.  I had given up looking for Nick, and was now at the beach sitting in his favorite spot - a small cave overlooking the beautiful beach.  I had hoped he would be here.  He always comes here when he needs to think.  But there had been no sign of him.  Actually, there had been no sign of anyone around here.  The beach was dead at this time of night.  But still, in the back of my mind, I had the smallest hope that Nick would show up here.  That bad feeling I'd had before was still eating away at me. 

"Jeez Nick, where are you?" I sighed, resting my hands in my head. 

Sophia's View

Col's favorite spot on the beach was my last hope.  If I didn't find her there, I was gonna give up.  This was a matter for the police.  I jumped out of my car, running over to her favorite spot - a small cave overlooking the beautiful beach.  I froze in my position when I noticed a hunched over figure. 

"Col?  Oh my God, I'm so happy you're here!" I cried, figuring that it had to be Colleen.  No one else knew about this spot but me and her.

The figure turned around quickly… it wasn't Colleen…

"Um, who's Colleen?" he questioned, meeting my glance. 

"Wow you're cute," I mumbled.

"What's that?"

"Oh, I uh - Colleen is my friend.  I can't find her and this is her favorite spot.  I didn't think anyone else knew about it," I blushed, trying to cover up my previous comment.

"You said your friend is missing?  That's kinda strange, because I can't find my friend either."

"Well you don't understand guy, because Colleen is in a lot of trouble," I shot back.

"First off, the name's Brian.  Secondly, my friend is in a lot of trouble too," he retorted.  I could tell he was serious by his tone of voice.  He sounded really worried.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to brush off your friend's problem.  I'm just really concerned that Col did something… something pretty stupid."

"I know exactly what you mean," he whispered.

"Do you?"

He nodded, and I smiled… knowing that whatever happened… this guy would be going through the same thing.