Where Can We Go From Here?
Suzi’s first attempt at a song fic!
Alex/Bri slash songfic.

I try to pick the pieces up
And I can't think of starting over
We used to share the stars above
I don't wanna think of change

As I walked to the bus, I glanced up at the night sky. The stars shining overhead reminded me of the many times we had just lain together on the roof, watching the stars and being close, holding hands, kissing softly, just being content with being together. It had been the greatest time of my life. That was all over now. Everything is different.

And now I've gotta move on
I've gotta catch up to the world
Even though I gave you my life
As wrong as it seems I know its right.

Then he told me it was over. We had to break up. I went into denial, holed myself up in our room in our house and pretended all was right with the world. I knew I’d never be able to live without him. He was my everything. His smile could light up the darkest night, his laughter was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. It’s been a week since that day, and I know I should try and get over it. If he doesn’t love me… then that’s his choice… I have to share a bus with him for the next 3 or 4 months anyway. I walked onto the bus and there he was. Slouched over the table in the kitchen area, a mug of coffee sitting untouched in front of him. He looked up at me from over his sunglasses, and I swear I could see the love that they used to project to me.

But is there a place
That I can go away
To escape the love that
I will forever know?

His stare became too intense for me to handle. I walked to my bunk, threw my stuff in, and climbed in. How can he do that to me? He broke up with me… and then he looks at me like I crushed him. I tried to hide in my bunk, but a couple hours later, we reached the hotel. I waited as long as I could to get off the bus, when I thought everyone had left, I slid out of my bunk, and started gathering my stuff. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Where can we go from here?
All I know is that I love you still
Sometimes we do things against our will
I know I'll cry lonely tears
Where can we go from here?

I knew who it was before I even turned around. When I did, I was face to face with the love of my life. I couldn’t hold back the tears. He reached up and wiped them away with his thumb. That’s when I noticed that he was crying too.

“I never meant to hurt you.” He spoke softly.

“Well… you did.” I walked away. The tears pouring down my face. He followed me.

“Brian… ‘Rok… Bri-bear.” When he said that nickname, I turned.

“What do you want Alexander? Haven’t you killed me enough?” I hissed.

His mouth dropped open and he turned away from me.

“I had to do it Brian…” He mumbled as he walked away.

Why? Why do I cry inside
For a love that's gone away?
And How? How can I carry on
When I know all the love is gone?

I ran into the hotel and up to my room. I slammed the door, slumped against it and slid to the floor, burying my face in my hands. I don’t know how much time passed… and I don’t think I really cared. I felt desperate and alone. I finally decided what I needed to do…

Tell me where can I go to get away
From the pain of loving you
Tell me, where?

I walked into the bathroom and picked up the complimentary razor. I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. Could I really do this? Leave the fans? Leave my family… and friends? And my love…? Is love supposed to hurt this much? The only way I can escape the pain is to leave… not the band… not this hotel… but the world… I need to stop the pain… and end my suffering. Just as I brought the razor to my wrist, there was insistent knocking at my door. I gasped and dropped the razor into the sink. I splashed cold water on my face to wash away the streaks from my tears, and try to cool my face off a bit. The knocking continued. I walked slowly to the door and pulled it open. There he was. Standing in front of me. His head down, his normally jovial face was now solemn.

“I need to talk to you.”

“No… you don’t need to explain. You just stopped loving me.” I murmured. He looked shocked.

“Brian Thomas Littrell. Sit down on the bed now.” His commanding tone made me instantly submissive.

Where can we go from here?
All I know is that I love you still
Sometimes we do things against our will
I know I cry lonely tears
Where can we go from here?

I moved farther into the room and sat down on the bed. He walked into the bathroom and found the razor. He brought it out with him, and made a show of breaking it and throwing it out.

“Brian. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to end what we had together. But… people in management told me I had to. They said that our relationship was just hurting the band… and that we couldn’t be together any longer. I went along with it. Knowing how much we both love the band. Then I thought about how I love you and you love me. And that is more important than the band, and our fanbase and everything else. I’ve cried myself to sleep for the past week, knowing how much I hurt you, and how much I was hurting without you. Will you take me back?” We were both crying again, as he leaned in and kissed me softly. I melted into the kiss, not knowing how I could have survived that week without this. When he pulled back, he stared into my eyes, trying to read me.

“Of course…” He smiled and hugged me hard.

“Where do we go from here?” He asked.

“Anywhere you want to, Alex Love.” He smiled and kissed me.

THE END.