Sweet Corruption

Title: Sweet Corruption
Part: 4 of 20
Pairing: group slut fic...
Author: Jules
Feedback: I'd love it. Thanks.
Rating: NC 17
Disclaimer: This is a story that I made up all on my own. I do not know or pretend to know any of the Backstreet Boys, their wives, girlfriends or friends. It is fiction, pure and simple.

Player 4 ~Howie~

Howard Dorough. That’s my name. At least that’s one of them. Everyone seems to have a different name for me, a different title. I know what people think. I don’t care, but it doesn’t mean I don’t listen. Don’t pay attention. In this business you have to pay attention to what they’re saying about you. Because if you don’t, it’ll come and kick you in the ass. It’s like if they say that you’re screwing someone. If you don’t know this information, or you don’t know that they know, and then are in an interview and someone asks you, you don’t know how to react. And your reactions are the things that people look for. No one cares what’s *really* happening, they just care about how you present yourself, how you react when the pressure’s on. Because no matter what you tell them, they’re always going to believe what they want to believe. It’s the law of Hollywood. Denial of reality is the main way to survive, at least for them it is.

People say a lot of shit about me. Some of it’s true. Most of it isn’t, but who can really tell anymore. I mean, who knows where the truth ends and the lies begin. We’re in such a bubble here, what seems normal to us is abnormal to everyone else. And we grow so accustomed to it, it’s hard to know who we really are. I’m not going to tell you my life is an open book, it’s not, but I don’t have any big secrets. Sure I’ve got secrets, we all do. Mine are just not as big as everyone thinks they are. I think that the less you tell people, the more they want to know. They will build it up in their head that what you’re keeping from them is huge, but it’s mostly imagination.

Nick, AJ, Brian and Kevin have secrets. Within the five of us, there aren’t many secrets. And those that are kept, well it takes a lot of effort to keep things from the guys. I mean, we’re here together 24/7 and things are bound to reveal themselves. I’m a master at hiding things though. It’s how I am. I’ve never been one to be careless with my affairs. And by affairs, I mean every day activities. Not sexual affairs on a partner. But none the less, their secrets are bigger than mine. But I do know that they are frustrated at how much I keep to myself. And it’s not like I'm actively keeping things from them. It’s just that most of the time, it’s not worth knowing. Most of what I keep to myself isn’t all that important.

Thinking about the four of them, I have to smile. I don’t know what I can say about these guys to make the world know exactly how I feel about them. I trust them with my life. With my heart. With my soul. We’ve been through so much, and the only constant thing in our lives has been each other. That’s one of the reasons I think AJ and Nick got together. Love stems from friendship. Where you’re close to someone and it goes so far beyond what you even thought possible and you realize that that person is your soul mate. And their perfect for each other. Same with Brian and Leigh... And in their own way, Kevin and Kristin. I just hope that one day I’ll find someone who I have that type of connection with. That will understand my life and be able to put up with the bull shit. Not a lot of people can honestly handle our lives.

Oh, and getting back to secrets. Their latest not so well kept secret... Me. Yeah I said me. I don’t know what the deal is, but I’ve noticed something lately. Kevin’s been giving me these looks, lingering ones where his eyes get all dark and I feel as though he’s ready to pounce on me. Like I’m some sort of prey. And Nick and AJ. Don’t even get me started on those two. Where Nick is blunt and to the point, telling me how sexy he finds me and how hot it’d be if I’d just give in and let him fuck me, or even just give in and fuck him, AJ’s indirect in his approach. He’ll softly touch my arm, or back when he passes by, or he’ll lean in closer than necessary to whisper something into my ear, trying to get my attention. But they’ve both got the same goal in mind, and I just laugh and brush it off. It’s all harmless flirting. They don’t really mean it. The confusing one is Brian though. Even he has been giving me subtle hints that he’s interested in me, and that’s something I’d never expect. I mean, I know about him and Leigh and Nick, and him and Leigh and AJ, and him and Leigh and AJ and Nick, but this seems different.

Perhaps they’ve all just gone off the deep end and are certifiable. Tour’s been too long and they’re hornier than usual. Not that Nick can get any hornier, but you know what I mean.