Guilty Pleasures

Title: Guilty Pleasures
Pairing: Nick/Kevin/AJ/Brian
Author: Jules
Feedback: Yes Please
Rating: R
Disclaimer: 22 chapters later and you still don't believe it's fiction?

CHAPTER 22

~Nick~

I shift and feel a leg wedged in between mine. Opening my eyes I see an unfamiliar room and smile. Brian is sleeping soundly next to me, his face so peaceful and serene. I take a few minutes to study him. I watch him and wonder what he’s dreaming about. His lips are curled into a small smile and I have to feel them one last time. I lean down and softly brush my mouth against his and fight to hold back a groan. I don’t want to wake him up. Just as I’m about to slide out from the bed he pulls me back close and sleepily kisses me, his tongue pushing past my lips and into my mouth. I know he’s not fully awake but I don’t care. He just tastes and feels so good I want to relish it for a few minutes, remember him this way because I know that it’s over. The second I leave this room things go back to how they were 12 hours ago and all we’ll be left with are the memories. With a sigh, Brian ends the kiss and snuggles further under the covers, letting go of me completely. It’s actually pretty symbolic if you think about it. It was one last kiss before life resumed as normal. He had untangled himself entirely from me, letting go of everything that we’d always wanted from each other. In all honesty, Brian was the first guy I had a crush on, the man who made me realize that I wasn’t entirely as straight as people wanted me to be. Yes I am and was attracted to girls, but Brian was different. At first I thought it was hero worship, but deep down I knew it was more than that, and all those times we shared a bunk, we slept together I had always wanted to kiss him, touch him, feel him. And tonight I had. When I fell in love with Kevin it was different. It wasn’t a confused boy’s crush, it was love and I waited 6 long years for him. I knew that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, that I wanted in my life until the end of time. That is how I know that things will go back to normal today. That is why I wasn’t afraid of experimenting last night. I have never been more sure of anything in my life than my feelings for Kevin. No man or woman will ever come close to how I feel for him and I know that he feels the same way. It’s in his heart, in his eyes and in his soul.

Staring down at Brian I feel a tear fall down my cheek and I smile. It’s time for me to go back to my love. I have officially left the last piece of my childhood, my adolescence behind now and can move on with my life. My destiny.

~AJ~

I’m having this amazing dream and I’ve never been happier in my life. Brian and I are sitting in a field somewhere just doing nothing. We’re sitting there arms wrapped around one another and enjoying the scenery around us. Instinctively, I snuggle closer to the body I feel in the bed with me, feeling his arms tighten around me. Even in my hazy dream I know these arms aren’t Brian’s and I feel myself waking up. It could also be the fact that someone is whispering into my ear. "AJ... Bone? Wake up bro." I feel a pair of fingers running through my hair and my eyes slowly open.

"Mmmmm." It can’t be after noon yet and someone’s waking me up already? Kevin and I didn’t get to sleep until just before dawn.

"Wake up AJ..." I do a half turn and see Nick leaning over me, big smile on his face and a glow to his skin. Just seeing him like this is enough to make me smile up at him. I look over at Kevin sleeping and instantly wonder how they get out of bed every morning. If I had to wake up with either of these men we’d never make it out of the bedroom. Not that Brian and I do much better... But still.

"Morning Nick." I stretch, careful not to wake Kevin and turn so that I’m lying face to face with Nick. "How was your night?"

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile like this before and I’m happy. I know exactly how he feels because I’m feeling the same way right now. Not only did I just have one of the most erotic nights of my life, I know that I’m about to go back to the man I love more than anything in the entire world.

"Oh god J, it was fucking amazing. Thank you so much." Nick’s hands reached up and he cupped my face in them, running his thumb over my lips and I shivered at his touch. "You should get back to your room though. He might wake up if he realizes no one’s there."

I nodded at Nick, understanding what he meant. It was time for the fantasy to come to a complete circle and end. I climbed off the bed and put on my pajama bottoms that had been tossed on the floor by Nick last night. When I was ready to go I looked at Nick and saw him watching me. Needing one last kiss, I walked over and leaned down, covering his mouth with mine. I felt him moan into my mouth and snake out his tongue so it touched mine lightly. "Thank you again Nicky." I whispered as we both pulled away.

"No thank you AJ. This meant a lot to me."

We just looked each other in the eye and I took another look at Kevin’s sleeping form on the bed. When my pulse calmed from Nick’s kiss I turned and walked out of their bedroom not pausing at all, and headed down to the room where the love of my life was sleeping soundly.

~Nick~

As happy as last night made me, I’m glad it’s over. AJ just closed our door and is on his way down to Brian’s room and I let out a sigh. I slip under the covers and spoon up behind Kevin, wrapping my arms around him tightly and bringing him so that he’s pressed against my chest. He fits perfectly in my arms and I feel him relax into my touch. I’m not tired, so I’m just going to lie here and appreciate my life and what I’ve been given.

I might have been lying here for a half hour, maybe more and Kevin moves, mumbling something in his sleep. "I love you Nicky..." I think I might cry. I don’t know if he knows it’s me and not AJ here but that he’s dreaming of me after going to bed with him makes me love him even more.

~AJ~

The first thing I do when I walk into our bedroom is go over and put on a pair of jogging pants and a sweater. I want to sit here and watch Brian sleep for a while, just put everything into perspective. So that’s what I’m doing. Just sitting here in a chair beside the bed and watching him. He’s so beautiful sleeping peacefully and I can’t help but wonder what he’s dreaming of, or who he’s dreaming of. His back is to me and I see him feeling the empty side of the bed in his sleep, reaching for someone. Noticing no one is there I think he’s starting to wake up and I smile. He doesn’t know I’m here watching so I want to see what he does, who he asks for. In my heart I know who it is, but I just want to hear him say it.

"Alex?" His voice is so soft, so sleepy and I’ve fallen in love with him again.

"I’m right here baby." I whisper, climbing out of the chair and joining him on the bed. He sees me and his face lights up, lighting mine up.

"I missed you lover. Come into bed with me baby." I don’t hesitate and snuggle up with him. Now more than ever I need him, need to be reassured that everything is okay. If nothing, last night showed me just how much I love and need him. How much I want to be with him forever. Kevin was amazing, beautiful, but he wasn’t Brian. He wasn’t my Brian. I think in the back of my head I’m expecting this to have blown up in our faces. We promised it was just one night... One night of no holds barred sex and sharing, but there’s no way to ensure that it’s just going to be that easy.

Anything could have happened and everything could have been ruined. I don’t know what I would have done if Nick and Brian had have decided that Kevin and I just weren’t what they wanted and they wanted to be together. I can feel my heart constricting at the thought, my stomach all queasy and I force those thoughts out of my head. Nick looked genuinely relieved to be back in his bed, with Kevin and I have to believe that everything is going to be okay. That we really are going to put this behind us and not have everything weird. These are my best friends and I can’t imagine my life without them.

"I missed you baby." Brian sleepily mumbles to me and kisses me softly. "Thank you."

I kiss him back and can’t help but ask him "Thanks for what Bri?"

"Just being you. I’m the luckiest man in the entire world." And with that he fell back asleep in my arms. He looks exhausted and suddenly I’m not tired. I want nothing more than to make love to him and show him just how lucky he makes me feel, but I guess I’ll have to wait until he wakes up.