Here's This Letter
Author: Angel
Rated: PG 13
Feedback: babyblue855@yahoo.com
copyright 2001
I wrote this fic in the form of a letter. It is addressed to Brian from his lover. I wrote this because often I find that slash fics are deprived of feeling and emotion, most are just about the sex. Don't get me wrong, I like sex but I like sex when there are feelings behind it. The sexual relationship in this fic is implied and mentioned but not dived into. I wanted to focus on the feelings. If you expect to read smut in this fic, you will be sadly disappointed. I promise that next time, I will include sex... I'm just really trying to make a point here. Enjoy!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today I received a letter from him. It's been about 5 weeks since I've seen him... he had to leave on his first tour. Oh Lord, the look on his face when he was leaving was priceless. He was so excited... and who wouldn't be, it's his first tour! There was also something hidden behind that excitement. He was worried... about me. He didn't want to leave me alone. I know it sounds silly but he was worried about me because he's usually the caregiver. He cooks and cleans so I don't have to. I've told him that he shouldn't... that I would help him but he was stubborn. One of the many reasons I love him. I opened the envelope and began to read:
"My love Brian,
It seems like years since I've had your arms wrapped around me, although it's really been a couple of weeks. This has been an exciting and adrenaline fueled journey for me but sometimes appears to be worthless without you by my side. I remember when I used to have to wake up early and leave you sleeping in bed to be at the studio. I thought those days were hard but, baby, they were nothing compared to leaving you for weeks, even months to be on tour.
Babe, when I was recording the album, you were always there for me. You would give me advice every step of the way and taught me the little things that ticked Max Martin off. You used to tell me stories of what happens whenever the Backstreet Boys go on tour. I loved those stories. They're funny and taught me a lot about dealing with other people for such and extended period of time. You even wrote me a song! You know I had to put that song on the album, and you know what babe? It's my favorite track. I recall that singing those lyrics that you wrote in the studio was so emotional. It took me three days to finish that song because I couldn't stop crying. I know, I'm such a fool. Babe, you taught me so much... and made me look forward to every single event in my career. Events which you were there for. You were there when I did my first television appearance on trl, when I did my first performance on the Tonight Show, when I met my first fan, when I got the call that my album debuted at number one. You were there for all of that... thank you.
I know you're upset at me for not letting you come with me on the tour but you have to understand my position. Babe, you and the guys finally got a two month break. It would be unfair of me to strip you of your vacation time. If you were to come with me on the road, you would have been subject to the same schedule as I. That is not what you need right now. You need to rest babe. Remember, you hit the road in two months again and now that I know what it's like... I know you will need rest because it's hard.
Brian, I miss you. I miss your lips on mine, playing a lover's game. I miss your soft, loving, tender touch all over my body. I miss all those nights we would spend talking until morning. I also miss all the nights we would spend making love. Those nights that were full of passion and longing for each other. Those nights that not even making love was enough to demonstrate the feelings we had for each other. Those nights when emotions would lead the way into bliss. My love, I miss those nights we would have petty fights about who loved who the most.
Now I am going to go to bed thinking of you my darling. In my sleep, I will dream of you and I together. I will wake up picturing your face, imagining your touch, longing for your kiss, and wanting for your cock inside me like so many times before when you would stay inside me and we would sleep and wake up that way... with you in me. Good night my love... my lover... my friend... my husband. I love you Brian."