"You sure that's all you need?" Jake asked, setting two suitcases by my chair. I nodded and shivered in the Canadian early morning air. Although I was inside with my coat on, I was freezing.
"They'll send the rest to me later on. And I'll be back." I replied. "You keep my bunk open."
Jake grinned. "We will. Nerferti is still staying with her bus. She's just covering your parts."
"Except the ballet solo." I muttered, coughing and kicking my feet. "No one does my ballet solo."
"Right." Justin nodded, as Sarah and Jake walked down the stairs of the hotel and over to me. I was sitting by the window, watching them load the buses. They were continuing on now, and leaving me with Brian's parents. Yesterday, after 5 long days, I had been released from the hospital. I had missed only 3 concerts. The group managed to still perform; all concert halls had been within a days travel. They stuck around with me whenever they got the chance, but I was only awake for 3 or 4 hours a day. I could barely keep my eyes open now.
"Dancers onto your bus!" A shout came from upstairs. "You're first." This was the first time in a long time that I would be without them for more than a day or two.
"Well..." Sarah said, "This is it."
I nodded. Justin gave me a hug. "Hang in there kid. Hurry back soon."
"Yeah." Sarah said. "I can't survive with these two knuckleheads for very long on my own." I smiled. The two of them waved and headed out the door to the bus.
"Well," Jake paused, "I don't know what I'll do without you. Now I don't have a butt buddy to chill with and be immature around."
"I just hope they don't kill you before I get back." I said, as I felt the blood rush to my head. Jake punched my arm lightly.
"I'll beat them down." He grinned.
"Gotta get out before they kill me now. Bye babe."
He pushed the door opened and left. I watched him board.
I should have been with them.
"Hope my aunt and uncle don't drive you too crazy." Kevin said, sneaking up from behind me. "I'm sure you'll meet my parents sometime too. You'll like them."
I smiled at him. He and I never really talked much, but i was grateful anyway, no matter what had happened between him and Coley. AJ came by and set a cowboy hat on my head.
"This is guaranteed to make you better." I smiled at them then and, shaking, reached up and pushed the hat down on my head. They left, and Howie walked through, hugged me, and then ran out to the bus. There were a few fans in the lobby and they had to exit soon. I closed my eyes and put my head against the wall. I guess I dozed off, because I didn't hear the other three arrive. I woke up as Brian picked up my hand, kissed it, then left. He said nothing. I stared at Nick, who shrugged.
"He's fighting some demons right now." He said. "Hang in there. I'll watch out for him."
I nodded. That left Coley and me. I bit my lip and drew in my breath, but she beat me to it.
"Don't apologize." She said. "We've both had our problems now. We're even." Her eyes misted a little. "I'll miss you. Now who am I suppose to complain to about Nick and the others?"
"Just email me." I said. "I'll still be around."
She grinned. "Get better."
They were gone. I was alone again.
As I wandered toward the bus, I let a few tears fall. Lisa's words kept sounding through my brain.
"I'll still be around."
I covered my mouth to keep a cry in and shook my head. I needed her so much. I couldn't survive this- them- alone. I stumbled up the steps to the bus, and pushed past Nick, heading toward AJ's bunk and collapsing inside, shoving my face into a pillow. Seconds later, I felt a soft, warm, hand begin to rub circles on my back and looked up into the eyes of Brian. He was crying too. I moved over to let him in, and he lay down beside me. We both smiled wryly at each other, and he spoke up.
"It's not worth being mad over, God I was so stupid. I just wanted you to know I support you 110 percent. I'm sorry." I smiled at him, and took a deep breath as I felt the bus begin to move. "It's going to be hard without her." He looked into my eyes, and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "We're drifting apart, Nicole. I can feel it." I just nodded, and pulled him close to give him a hug.
"I support you completely… and just for the record, I'm sorry too." He chuckled, and snuggled in closer. The last thing I remember before I drifted off into a much-needed nap was looking at his sleeping figure and praying that God would help them both.
And that he'd make us all stronger.
