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As a freshman taking English 101, I of course had no idea about what to expect. Let alone, I had no idea about what was to be expected of me. But as this semester draws to a close, I am more than content about what I have learned over the past four months.

At the beginning, I know I was definitely running around in too many directions (like the stereotypical college freshman of course)…trying to find my English class in Edwards (is that the nursing building?), remembering which day of the week we were suppose to meet in the computer lab, and all the while still trying to show up on time for class (the biggest challenge of all for me). However, whether I was on time or not, as soon as I’d arrive to Jason’s class (after my confusing adventures between Edwards & Daniel), my chaotic world would just mellow out for the time being. It was a great feeling. A feeling I learned to cope with and appreciate more and more as this past semester went by. Not only that, but I was able to take advantage of my new tranquility, as I discovered how being at ease with myself can really be helpful to me during that brief ten to fifteen minutes we get at the beginning of every English class to work on a free-choice response. For the first time ever, I was able to find enjoyment in just writing freely...

I have always known myself to be an uptight writer. All my teachers and friends have noticed this about me too. It’s nothing new. The usual amount of time I spend writing an essay seems unreasonable and crazy to most, but I just don’t think anyone understands how much I, myself, hate it as well. I have always had this horrible habit of being a perfectionist when it came to my writing. I have the hardest time just sitting down and typing away all my thoughts without second-guessing myself in the process. I am notorious for spending a good hour to two hours working on just one paragraph of any given writing assignment (not exaggerating here either). As a result, I have grown to resent my writing because of the frustrating mistakes I repeatedly make of always giving up so much of my time…therefore, just taking all the fun out of it.

However, over the past few months I have grown to enjoy writing so much more than I thought could ever be possible. I have loosened up my writing tactics through the daily ramblings and responses we do in English class, in addition to the essay projects we are assigned. I approach my writing assignments now with much more ease than I ever have before, and with much more confidence as well. And although I still have a good ways to go in improving my writing ability, I know I am headed for the right direction since I’ve already taken such a big step in determining how enjoyable it really can be.

I’d first like to refer to my Academic Integrity Response #3. I am choosing this composition not necessarily because it is a good example of my best writing, but instead because it demonstrates my ability-level that I started out with at the beginning of this semester. My uptight and serious mindset is very noticeable in this response. I am very formal in my tone, and I take on a serious approach to the response as I quote the book many places throughout my writing. My A.I. Response #3 isn’t a bad writing, but it shows how I obviously was yet to grasp the concept of writing my honest reaction with affability.

In my Academic Integrity Response #4 I exhibit a better understanding of an informal response, as well as a new sense of adventure. I step away from the cold and lifeless writing style I used in my previous A.I. Response #3, and begin to jazz things up a little. When reading my A.I. Response #4 it is much easier to picture myself as being the writer because I am writing more on impulse here, rather than taking the conventional route as I did in the previous response. The stiffness I portrayed beforehand is no longer apparent in A.I. Response #4, as I focus much less on my writing decorum. Instead, all of my attention shifts, and I begin to concentrate more upon giving my honest feedback. Furthermore, another major difference is the time I took to relate myself and my own personal experiences to the relevance of the essay.

I also like to bring attention to my A.I. Response #3 and Response #4 to demonstrate how I made good use of the time I devoted to writing them, and applied the knowledge I gained elsewhere. These responses I previously wrote came into good use when I spent a very long time writing my first essay of the semester. I went a bit overboard when I wrote my Essay #1 because I was so well-informed of the readings in Academic Integrity. Therefore, my in-class responses were a good foundation of reference for my essay whenever I got “writer’s block”, or just simply needed to recall something from the book.

The last writing I would like to shed light upon is my Academic Integrity Response #5 . I find this response to be very meaningful for one reason mainly, and that is because I admit that “I don’t know”. I don’t try and B.S. my way through the response… I just simply confess that I’m really not sure what exactly the author’s purpose is for writing his essay. Although I am unaware of this reading’s underlying meaning, I still sufficiently display my train of thought well and explain how I can relate to the author’s story. In this particular response, I was questioning the intentions of Jerry Blitefield, in his essay Year 2000.

Most importantly, however, is the fact that I don’t allow my lack of knowledge to hold me back. Therefore, I was not yet content with myself after I wrote my response to Year 2000, because I still had this curiosity which urged me to keep digging and find deeper meaning. I am proud of my drive to understand Blitefield’s reading. In my Essay #3, there is a HUGE DIFFERENCE in my comprehension of Year 2000, as I exhibit a new level of analysis I have reached in my reading ability. I put a lot of hard work into this essay by re-reading Year 2000 over and over and over again. However, all my devotion to analyzing the reading paid off when I discovered the underpinnings of Jerry Blitefield’s composition, which turned out, at the end, to be extremely intriguing and of such deep significance.

I believe that I have now finally come to terms with the fact that it is an unnecessary waste of time to summarize the A.I. essays in my responses because my reading audience (as in, my teacher JASON) has already read the material being discussed. Therefore, Jason is not quite interested in having to redundantly read Academic Integrity all over again through my summations…like my pointless summary in all of A.I. Response #3, as well as A.I. Response #5. Hence, I believe I discovered the meaning of the word…RESPONSE.