You glanced, for probably the twelfth time in two minutes, into the rearview mirror. Sean was still staring out the window. His Spiderman backpack sitting on the seat next to him. His Batman lunchbox, which was cool to carry until you were about seven, was clutched tightly in his little fists, sitting on his lap. And you sighed, for probably the twelfth time in two minutes.

“Relax, Justin. It’s just preschool.” JC reached over and squeezed your hand softly, giving you a reassuring smile. And he was right. It WAS just preschool. But it was your son’s first day at preschool, and that made all the difference in the world. Except, Sean looked calm and at ease. You were the one that was a mess, all worked up and panicking. But it’s your son, and he’s going off to school. Granted it’s only two days a week, but that was so not the point.

Three months ago, when you and JC had first looked into preschools, your mind had scrambled to wrap around the fact that Sean was already old enough to be in school. It seemed like only yesterday when you brought him home from the hospital. Yet, he was three now, and it was time.

Periodically over the past few months, JC would find you lost in your own little world. And when he’d sit down next to you, nudge you with his shoulder and bring you back to join him in this world, he’d ask you where you’d gone. And you’d tell him. Tell him that time was going too quickly, that it was too soon, that Sean shouldn’t be ready for school yet. Was Sean, in fact, actually ready for school yet? Would he get along with the other kids, would he know as much as them? The fears probably weren’t very valid considering Sean had never had a problem around new people. Throw in the fact that he knew all his ABC’s, could count to 20, knew his colors, and countless other things you and JC had worked with him on since a very young age and you knew he was going to do fine. You finally concluded the fear wasn’t really for Sean and how he’d do, but for yourself and your unwillingness to let him go, even this small of a step.

Having a child, having Sean, was one of the greatest blessings of your life. Knowing you were responsible for another human life, knowing you were the one who got to teach him things, got to introduce him to every aspect of this huge world you live in, knowing you were the one who got to see him explore it and experience it, learn and live in it. Knowing all of that still floored you. You’d seen it, on plenty of occasions. Seen the wonder and awe on his face when he learned something new, experienced something for the first time. And now, there was going to be someone else in his life besides you and JC. Now there was going to be a teacher to help him along that path, to help him experience and learn. And maybe that’s what it had been all along, the fact that you, selfishly, wanted as many of those moments of wonder and awe as you could squeeze in during this lifetime.

But regardless of what you wanted, regardless of how selfish you wanted to be, he had to go to school. And you knew that. So you pulled up in front of the preschool and gave a quick grin to JC before the two of you climbed out. Sean was anxious, already unbuckling himself and waiting for one of you to open the door. He jumped out quickly, urging the two of you to hurry up. His Spiderman backpack was resting lightly over his shoulders, bouncing against his back with each step. His Batman lunchbox was still clutched in his little fists as he hurried up the sidewalk. He’d been excited about this morning for the past few days and had rushed both you and JC this morning, asking over and over if it was time to leave for school yet. And now here you were, large oak doors the only thing standing between you and this next step in your life, in the life of your family. And as JC pulled it open, ushering Sean through, he turned to look back at you one last time.

“He’s still our son, Justin. The only difference now, is that when he comes home from school, not only will we be able to share our view of the world with him, but he’ll be able to share his own view with us.” He winked quickly. “And who knows, maybe his view will prove to be more interesting than our view.” He smiled one last time before disappearing inside after Sean. You stood there silently for a moment, watching the large doors close behind your son and husband and realized JC was right. You would still get to see the wonder and awe on his face as he experienced the world you shared with him. But now, maybe he’d get to see it on your face as well as he shared that world right back with you.