You finished hanging the last cluster of balloons and stood, hands on your hips, to admire your job. Satisfied, you turned around and looked across the expanse of your backyard. JC was just putting the finishing touches on the long table that had been set up. Paper plates and cups and napkins with cartoon characters adorned the length of the table along with more balloons, an array of vivid colors, and one giant round one with the number one on it centered in the middle.
Sean’s first birthday. You could hardly believe it had already been a year. The time had gone so fast and he was getting bigger every day. Looking at him now, running around the yard chasing your larger golden retriever, Simba, you could only smile. His laughter and bright smile filled your heart, causing it to swell substantially in your chest. He made your life with JC complete.
JC caught your eye and winked. You smiled back as you made your way over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him close for a soft kiss. He rested his head on your shoulder and you both turned, watching Sean toddle across the yard after Simba. Simba seemed to be enjoying it as much as Sean was. He’d stop, letting Sean catch up to him and get a clumsy hold on him before shaking his entire body, knocking Sean off and taking off across the yard again. Sean would sit, stunned for a moment, before using his hands as leverage to shakily climb to his feet again, laughter still filling the air as he went after the dog once again.
“We need to get him changed, he’s filthy,” JC said, referring to the mud that had become a permanent fixture to Sean’s clothing and skin from chasing Simba around and landing on his butt for the past twenty minutes. You pulled back, eyes looking skeptically at JC.
“Do you really think he’s going to stay clean just because we put him in a new outfit? He’ll be back out here and just as dirty in two minutes flat.” JC’s eyes met yours, a grin creeping along his face.
“It’s his birthday, people are going to be showing up soon. I’d like him to at least look presentable for the first few minutes when they arrive. I know it won’t last, but please, just appease me. Just this once?” You smiled and laid a kiss on his forehead.
“I’d do anything to appease you. New outfit it is.” Pulling away from JC, you walked across the yard to where Sean had just gotten knocked to his butt again, scooping him up in your arms and pressing your face into his stomach where his shirt had ridden up, playfully blowing against his skin. He shrieked happily and squirmed in your arms. “Come on, kiddo. Papa wants you looking all nice and presentable so our family and friends know that we know how to take care of you.” You winked at JC and caught the playful roll of his eyes and he turned back toward the table, shaking his head.
Simba was right on your heels as you made your way inside. He was very protective of Sean and was right by his side most of the time. Before Sean came into your life, Simba had slept at the end of your bed, curled up on the ground. Now, he slept curled up in the corner of Sean’s bedroom any time you put him down to sleep, head popping up in defense the minute anyone stepped foot in there. If it was you or JC, he dropped his head back down immediately, content that neither of you were there to hurt Sean. If it was anyone else, he watched them defensively until they left the room again.
As you made your way upstairs, you heard a car pull into your driveway. The first guests had arrived. You change Sean quickly, tossing the old diaper into the trash and his dirty clothes into the hamper, talking to him quietly the entire time. Through his bedroom window, which faced the backyard, you could see that it was Joey who had arrived, Kelly, Brianna, and their sons Joey and Hunter in tow. Your mom and Paul had arrived shortly after and you could see them talking to JC in the backyard. By time you made it back downstairs, more guests had arrived, including Lance and his wife Leah. Your mother was at your side the moment you stepped out of the door, cooing softly to Sean as she took him from your arms. After placing a soft kiss on your cheek in greeting, she was gone, Sean gibbering happily in her arms and Simba following at her heels.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to be seeing much of my son today?” You asked, sliding up behind JC, resting your hand on the small of his back for a moment. He turned to you, eyes curious. “I lost him already,” you explained, answering his unspoken question as you gestured to your mother. He laughed softly, eyes crinkling up in amusement.
“We get him all the time. I think we can let everyone else enjoy him for a few hours.”
“If by everyone else you mean your mom and my mom, then yes, I do think everyone else is going to enjoy cooing over him all day.” He laughed again. Between your mom and his mom, Sean was the first grandchild. You were an only child so the only grandkids your mom was going to get were going to come from you. And even though JC had siblings, neither of them had kids. Heather was married, but they were both too involved in their careers for children at the moment. And Tyler, well, you and JC were both convinced he was never going to settle down. His longest relationship to date was six months. That had been an astounding record for him.
When Sean had first been born, at the hospital after the two of you finally called your family and friends, your mothers had fought good naturedly over getting Sean’s attention until JC’s dad remind them both that he was your son, not theirs, and they you both probably wanted to hold him some. They’d smiled sheepishly and handed the sleeping infant over to you. You’d thanked Roy with a simple look. Since then, it had always been the same. It made both of you roll your eyes every time the two of them were together. They weren’t rude about it, but it was obvious they both just wanted to spoil Sean rotten.
Throughout the afternoon, you lost track of both JC and Sean as you played host and caught up with all your family and friends lives. At one point, you saw Chris playing with all of the kids. He chased them all around the yard for a while and then they started chasing him. He finally let them all catch him and fell to the ground, all of them jumping on top of him. You rolled your eyes. Chris never changed. He was still the biggest kid you knew.
When they all tired of that game, Chris picked up Sean and carried him over to the table where the cake was sitting. He bent over the table, leaning Sean in close to the cake. When he straightened up again, there was a tiny handprint in the top of the frosting and Sean had chocolate all over his hand, which both him and Chris licked off happily. It was then you decided it was time to open presents and cut the cake, before anyone else got the same idea.
Sean was more interested in the crinkly, colorful wrapping paper than in the actual presents themselves and you and JC quickly gave up trying to get him to at least attempt to unwrap any of them. Instead, he sat happily playing with the paper while the two of you opened the rest of his presents for him, passing him the paper as it came off the presents. Once all the presents were opened, you looked around in awe. Yes, you’d admit it, your son was spoiled. You couldn’t ever remember getting that many presents in your life, let alone for your first birthday.
As you started to clean up, JC pulled Sean away from the wrapping paper he was making a huge mess of and headed toward the cake. He screamed in protest for a minute, but the sight of the cake, his handprint still embedded in it, caused his attention to be diverted quickly. After a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, led by Chris, Lance, and Joey, the cake was cut and passed around. JC sat with Sean, feeding him small bites in between taking a bite for himself. His clothes that JC had been so adamant to change, were now ever dirtier than the original outfit. Now, not only did he have mud from running around with Chris, he also had chocolate frosting all down the front of his shirt from his own hands. You just laughed to yourself and shook your head.
All in all, it was a hectic day and you were glad when you finally got a minute to step inside, after making sure Sean was safe with your mother. You were surprised, but happy, to see JC standing in the kitchen as well, drinking a glass of water. He turned when the door shut and smiled at you.
“Needed a minute away from the chaos?” You nodded and moved over toward him, pressing his stomach against the counter, facing the window looking out into the backyard, as you hooked your chin over his shoulder, arms wrapping around his waist. You nuzzled your face against his neck, inhaling softly. You could feel his smile against your cheek. And then, suddenly, his body tensed up completely. You pulled away from him slightly, but before you could comprehend what was going on or question what was wrong he shoved you back, hard, into the opposite counter and ran, full force, for the door.
You staggered back into the counter, caught off guard, but quickly caught your balance and looked out the kitchen window, mind racing with reasons JC would have reacted that way. You hadn’t done anything to warrant that sort of reaction. Your eyes caught him as he ran, pushing people aside, and dove head first, fully clothed, into the pool.
Your heartbeat increased even more and you rushed outside just as JC surfaced. It took you a moment, but when your eyes adjusted to the brightness of the sun once again, you saw Sean, unconscious, in his arms.
Your heart stopped.
You made your way over quickly, pushing people out of the way as you went. JC’s eyes met yours, both pairs wild with fear. He handed Sean to you and you took him, laying him down on the side of the pool as JC jumped out. You had no idea what to do. Your mind was blank. All you could see, all you could concentrate on was the fact that your son was laying here in front of you, unconscious. Your mind kept repeating it over and over but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get past that. You couldn’t figure out, for the life of you, what to do next. You could see everyone else around you, closing in on you, but it was all a blur. They were fading in and out, their voices loud and obnoxious in your ear before drifting off completely as a dull ringing replaced the voices. And then, JC was there, kneeling on the ground next to you, next to your unconscious son. And he was leaning down close to Sean’s face. Somewhere, in the inner depths of your mind, you remembered that JC knew CPR, that he was certified. And as you watched in a state of shock, JC breathed life back into your son.
Sean coughed, water spurting from his open mouth, and started screaming. The sobs hit your ears and knocked the shock away. He was alive. He was going to be ok. The shock was immediately replaced with an anger deeper than you’d ever felt before. You whipped around, eyes wildly searching the crowd until they zeroed in on your mother. Rising to your feet, you pointed a shaky finger in her direction.
“You were supposed to be watching him!” You screamed. You knew it wasn’t really her fault, somewhere deep inside. You’d been there before, many times. First with your brothers when they were little, and now with Sean. It didn’t matter how well you watched kids. They could still easily hurt themselves right before your eyes. You were just scared out of your mind and anger, directed at anyone you could direct it at, was your only defense. “What the hell were you thinking?!” You could see the pain and sadness in your mom’s eyes, but it didn't really register. She was shaking, eyes wide. You started to say more, but JC’s quiet voice stopped you.
“Justin.” The words died on your lips and you turned to him. He looked lost, holding a crying Sean in his arms, rocking back and forth almost frantically. Moving quickly you helped him to his feet. “Hospital. We need a hospital.” Sean was breathing, but you knew he was scared of more damage, deeper damage. You were just as scared. You looked around wildly, still not fully understanding your surroundings. You didn’t know what to do. Your mind still couldn’t get past the fact that Sean had been unconscious. But Chris was there, at your side immediately.
“Come on, I’ll drive. Neither of you should be right now anyway.” You sent a grateful smile his way before looking around at all your guests, the entire party set out before you. You knew you should say something, but had no idea what.
“Don’t worry about them. Joe and I will take care of everything here. Just get your son to a hospital. And call us when you know anything.” Lance slipped a warm arm around you shoulder, squeezing gently as he spoke into your ear. You leaned into him for a moment in thanks before letting your gaze fall on JC, already headed around to the front of the house, following Chris to his car. You ran inside quickly and grabbed two blankets, one for Sean and one for JC, before you met the two of them out front, and slipped the larger blanket around JC’s wet shoulders. When you attempted to wrap Sean in the smaller one, JC tensed and pulled him back, holding him protectively against his chest.
“It’s ok, baby. I just want to wrap him up. I’m not going to take him away.” Speaking to him seemed to make it register in his mind who you were, exactly, and he met your eyes, blinking a few times. He nodded slowly and allowed you to wrap the blanket around Sean before pulling him close again. You climbed into the back seat with your partner and your son and pulled them close, holding them both tightly against you as Chris started down the driveway.
*****
You had the door opened before Chris even came to a complete stop. Climbing out, you helped JC out. He still wouldn’t let go of Sean so you just wrapped your arm around his waist as the two of you entered the hospital emergency room.
The next few minutes were a complete blur of noise and activity. Before either of you knew what was happening, nurses and doctors surrounded you, taking Sean away. JC didn’t want to let him go, but you coaxed him gently with reassuring words in his ear. They could help Sean, he needed to be with them now. But then they told you that the two of you had to sit in a waiting room while they checked out your son. You weren’t allowed back there. You thought JC was going to lose it, and you were still in the throes of shock yourself.
Chris appeared by your side, swiftly and suddenly, after parking the car, and calmed the two of you down enough to get you into a private waiting room the hospital quickly set up. It was once you were finally behind closed doors that JC finally broke down. He turned, eyes meeting yours as tears started to stream down his cheeks. His legs collapsed and you caught him just before he hit the ground. Sliding down slowly, you held him against you, rocking him back and forth, his head pressed under your chin. Tears of your own dripped from your eyes, sliding along your skin and slipping into his hair. He clung to you tightly, hands fisting in your shirt and all you could do was cling right back.
Chris seemed to understand that the two of you needed a few moments alone and he quietly exited the room. There was a small sense of comfort, being with JC. It wasn’t enough to quench your fears about the fate of your son, but it was something, knowing that the love of your life, the other half of your soul, was here with you. And you knew he was feeling the same as his sobs died down. He hiccupped softly and moved slightly until he could see your eyes. The pain in his eyes caused you to gasp, but you knew you were feeling the exact same pain he was. Without a word, the two of you held each other close, both of you praying that your son was ok.
*****
Chris reappeared some time later. You weren’t really sure how much time had passed, but it didn’t really matter. He told you that the doctor wanted to speak with the two of you, and more importantly, that you could see Sean.
You both climbed up from the floor and JC wiped his eyes, reaching blindly for your hand. Once your hand was securely in his, he squeezed it gently, remind you that you were in this together, here for each other, and you exited the room.
Sean’s room was dark and you saw him, lying in a crib with stark white sheets. Wires were attached from his tiny body to a monitor and you had to close your eyes. This wasn’t right. Your son wasn’t supposed to be in a hospital, attached to a heart monitor. Your son wasn’t supposed to be in any kind of pain. You would have done anything, given up anything, for this to all be a dream. But you knew it wasn’t. Everything was too real, too vivid to be a dream. You felt JC’s arm slip around your waist and you leaned into him, accepting the comfort he was offering. Nothing was said as you waited for the doctor and when he finally arrived, the two of you took a deep breath in unison as you awaited the news.
The doctor wasn’t one for pretexts, and you said a silent thanks for that. You weren’t really looking for any kind of pleasantries. You just wanted to know how your son was.
“Sean is going to be fine. He’s going to be more tired than normal for a few days, but there is nothing physically wrong with your son. We ran many different tests and the results were all the same. Your son is a perfectly healthy one year old.” A breath you didn’t even know you were holding was released and you stumbled slightly, thankfully. JC’s grip on you tightened, stopping you from falling and you could see the smile on his face as you straightened again. Sean was going to be ok. “Because you reacted so quickly in saving him, you stopped any chance of permanent damage. Let me just draw up some papers for you both to sign and you can be on your way. Sean can go home tonight.”
Once the doctor was gone, you turned to JC, slipping into his waiting arms and holding on tightly. Your son was ok. He was going to be fine. And all because JC had reacted so quickly. You’d never been so proud of someone in your entire life.
*****
Chris dropped the three of you off and you thanked him through the open window, hugging him at an awkward angle before he drove off, telling you both to call if you needed anything. All you needed right now was your family.
Once you were inside, JC moved into the living room with Sean and sat down on the couch. You leaned against the doorframe for a moment, watching them.
“Want me to take him up to his room?” JC looked down at your sleeping son in his arms then back up at you. Barely controlled tears shimmered in his eyes, and he shook his head no. You understood. JC had reacted the same way the first time Sean got sick. He didn’t want to let him go. And this was so much deeper than just sickness. Your son could have died. You understood completely. So instead, you sat down next to him, pulling both of them close to you.
“I was so scared, Justin.”
“I know, sweetness. I was too. But you were incredible. You saved his life.” The tears finally came and he turned, burying his face in your chest.
“I didn’t even know what I was doing. I just reacted.” You knew that too. He’d been on autopilot from the moment he realized what had happened until the doctors were finally taking care of Sean.
“You reacted better than I did. I had no idea what to do. And then I screamed at my mother. I feel really bad for that. She didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t her fault.” JC nodded against your chest.
“You were kind of harsh. But I’m sure she’ll understand when you apologize.”
“I should call her and apologize.” JC nodded against your chest but didn’t move so you could get up.
“Can you do it later? I just want to be with you right now.” His pleading eyes met yours and it wasn’t a hard decision to make. “I just need you here with me right now.” You kissed the top of his head and settled back into the couch, readjusting JC against you. Chris had called Lance, Joey, and both yours and JC’s parents so everyone knew Sean was ok. So any phone calls could definitely wait until later. Right now, all that mattered was that you son was ok, that your family was ok. Right now, all you wanted to do was hold on to them forever. Settling back, arms wrapped tightly around JC and Sean, you closed your eyes. It had been a long day, and you welcomed the prospect of sleep now that you knew everything was ok, that everything was going to be fine.