“So how was the date last night?” Justin had tried being patient, but JC hadn’t willingly offered any information, and it driving Justin crazy. JC glanced up at Justin, meeting his gaze across the hood of his car.
“It was a blind date. How do you think it went?”
“It can’t have been that bad,” Justin said, bending down to rinse his rag in the bucket of soapy water by his feet.
“Trust me, it was.” JC didn’t seem to be adding any more, so Justin looked up at him. “What?”
“What the hell do you mean what? Why was it so horrible? Come on man, I want details!” JC laughed and tossed his wet rage easily at Justin across the expanse of the BMW.
“Do you realize you’re kind of annoying sometimes?” JC asked, avoiding the conversation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Justin about it. It was just more fun this way. It was bugging Justin that he didn’t know the details and JC wanted to make him work for it.
“Do you realize you’re kind of an ass sometimes?” Justin countered, tossing the rag back at JC.
“Yes, but that’s only because you tell me at least twice in every conversation we have,” JC said, bending down under the context of rinsing his rag, and avoiding Justin’s annoyed glare at the same time.
“Jayyyccee...” Justin whined. “Come on man. I’d tell you.”
“If I’d cared,” JC said, finally glancing back up at his best friend. “And stop whining. You’re not five.”
And here comes the pout. Five...four...three...two.... JC’s face broke out into a grin as Justin crossed his arms over his chest and his bottom lip involuntarily came out farther below his top lip. The Justin Timberlake Pout. He didn’t even do it consciously now. It was a habit from back when he was younger, from when the pout actually got him what he wanted from the other guys, from when they still babied him. Now it was just something he couldn’t stop doing, no matter how hard he tried.
“Fine. Don’t tell me. See if I care.” Justin trailed off and glanced away from JC, bending down to wipe fiercely at a non-existent smudge on his car.
“Justin, reverse psychology only works when you don’t know the person as well as I know you. In our case, I know that you think by you pretending you don’t want to hear the details, that I’ll tell them. And since I know this, the whole tactic failed miserably. And do me a favor. While you’re working on the whole ‘I’m not five so I’m not going to whine anymore’ work on the ‘I’m still not five so I’m not going to pout anymore’ as well.”
“Ass.”
“See, told you. At least twice in every conversation.” JC said, laughing. “But at least it’s a nice ass.”
“I’ll give you that one. Maybe not as good as mine, but still very nice,” Justin said, grinning at him.
“All the ripping I just did and still you have an ego the size of Texas.” JC shook his head and walked around the front of the car to the side Justin was on. Leaning up against it, he ran a wet hand through his hair and then crossed his arms over his chest. Justin dropped his rag back in the bucket and looked at JC expectantly.
“Alright fine, you want details. First off, she was a fan. Which, ok, not a horrible thing, but she wasn’t just any fan. She was one of those borders on psychotic fans. One of the fans I can see camping out on your lawn all night just to get a glimpse of you when you open the door in the morning to get the paper. And speaking of you, she wanted to do just that, all night. I swear I felt more like I was in a one on one interview talking about you than on an actual date.”
“Aww, poor JC. Goes on a date and his date likes me more than him,” Justin interrupted, grinning widely. Uncrossing his arms, JC reached out and flicked Justin in the forehead before he had a chance to move. “Ow. That hurt man.” He rubbed his forehead, causing it to turn a slight shade of pink.
“You want me to finish this story or not?” JC asked. Justin nodded. “Good, then keep your mouth shut.” Justin dramatically clamped his jaw tight and pulled an imaginary zipper across his lips, twisting a lock at the end and stuffing the non-existent key in his pocket. “Anyway. During dinner, there happened to be some reporters there, who just happened to have a camera. She keep looking around, the entire time I was talking, trying to get them to take a picture. I’m not even sure if she noticed I actually stopped really responding to her or not.” He paused for a second and glanced at Justin. “But the worst part, above all of that, was that she didn’t have an opinion. On anything. No matter what I asked, she turned it around, got my opinion first, then said that’s what she thought too. Or it was something she already knew about me, like the fact that I like jazz music and art, and suddenly jazz was her favorite type of music and she absolutely loved going to art museums.”
“Maybe jazz really is her favorite type of music and she really does love going to art museums. In which case, you should really keep her around, because she sounds like your perfect match,” Justin interrupted again.
“I thought you put that damn key in your pocket,” JC accused, glaring at Justin’s amused grin.
“Sorry,” he said, although he looked as far from sorry as possible.
“Had those been the only things she agreed with me on, I would have bought that. But it was everything. And it was damn annoying. We never even made it to the movie. I couldn’t stomach it anymore after dinner and I just took her home.” JC sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I’m gonna kill Chris. I knew I was going to have a horrible time. Blind dates never go well.”
“If you knew that, then why did you go in the first place?” Justin asked. Always the voice of reason.
“To shut Chris up. He was oh so sure she would be perfect for me. And even after I told him no a dozen times, he still wouldn’t leave it alone. So I finally just said sure to shut him up. And now I really am going to kill him.”
“Well maybe it’s your own fault.” JC looked at Justin, shock written on his face.
“How is it my fault she was an obsessive fan?”
“Not the fan part. But maybe, by telling yourself you weren’t going to have a good time, you sealed the fate before the date even began. Maybe you didn’t even try to give it a chance.” Justin looked like he was trying not to laugh.
“That is the absolute last time I tell you about one of my dates,” JC said, taking a step closer to Justin. “I don’t care how much you whine or pout. Every time I go on a date, you all but beg me for details, then you do nothing but make fun of me or tell me I did it wrong. I’m sorry I’m not perfect like you Justin. I’m sorry I can’t just seem to jump into the perfect relationship and fall head over heals in love every time. But I really don’t need your shit.” Justin took a step back, his eyes going wide, as JC advanced toward him, an angry scowl spread across his usually peaceful features.
“Whoa, calm down C. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just messing around.” JC stopped and regarded him silently. “Look, I get it. I feel for you completely. I would have felt the same way had I been placed in that situation. I was just teasing. I just thought that’s what we were doing. I mean, look how much shit you’ve given me today. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to piss you off.”
JC regarded him silently for a few more moments, then bent down to pick up the bucket of soapy water and turned away from Justin and back toward the house. “I know you didn’t mean it.” His tone was soft, but without looking in his eyes, Justin couldn’t be sure what he was feeling. His eyes told Justin everything, always had. Justin reached a hand up and placed it on JC’s shoulder, stopping him.
“Jace, please don’t do this. Don’t get pissed and take off because of some stupid comment that didn’t mean anything.” JC turned back to face him, his eyes impassive.
“Justin, I’m not pissed. I never was. I just needed a way to distract you.” And then, before Justin could process what he meant, the bucket of water in JC’s hand was dumped over Justin’s head, drenching him with the soapy, dirty water. Justin stood shock still for a moment, trying to get his brain to register the fact that he was now drenched and that JC was grinning like an idiot.
“Fucker!” He finally snapped, launching his body toward the hose laying on the ground a few feet behind JC. It was in his hand and aimed at JC before JC could comprehend what had happened. “You really are an ass,” Justin said evenly, but a smile grazed his lips. “Had me all worried I pissed you off when you just wanted to dump water on me.” JC regarded the hose and then glanced up at Justin’s eyes. “Just remember dude, paybacks are a bitch.” The hose was turned on, full force, pointed directly at JC’s body, drenching him in seconds.
He screamed in shock as the cold water hit his body. It was a surprise to his senses even though he knew it was coming. Shaking off the initial frozen shock, he advanced toward Justin, the hose still spraying him steadily, as Justin took a few steps backwards. Then JC pounced, tackling Justin around the waist. The two of them fell to the soft wet ground, JC half on top of Justin. Justin still had the hose and it was still shooting water, but JC had managed to get it aimed off of him directly. Instead, the spray rose into the air, inadvertently falling back on top of the two of them.
JC moved to straddle Justin’s legs, both getting better leverage and pinning Justin harder to the ground at the same time. They both had a hold of the hose, fighting for control, as their own laughter surrounded them. Then suddenly, and without warning, Justin let go of the hose, wrapped his long arms around JC’s thin waist, and flipped the two of them over. From his position now below Justin, JC could do nothing but watch helplessly as Justin pinned him with his thighs pressed tight to the side of JC’s hips and an arm stretched over their heads, holding both of JC’s hands under his, a victory grin slowly spreading across his face. His other hand now had complete control of the hose and it was aimed directly at JC.
And the entire time, all JC could think about was Justin. Wet Justin. On top of him. Not that the hose was pointed at his face. Not that at any second Justin could pull the lever and unleash a steady stream of water onto his face. No, the only thing he could grasp was that Justin was hovering over him, inches away from his own face. That his hips pressed down gently into JC’s. That their wet bodies were nothing more than a tangle of limbs now.
Something must have shown in JC’s eyes because suddenly the hose dropped from Justin’s hands and onto the ground next to them, forgotten. His playful grin was replaced by an almost shy smile. And slowly, very slowly, Justin’s head was lowering, bring his wet lips closer to JC’s. Suddenly all that seemed to matter to JC was that Justin was going to kiss him. And it was taking forever to get his lips down the few inches needed for full contact.
And then they were there, warm and inviting on top of JC’s own lips. Just a soft press of wetness from the hose water at first, then harder. Mouths opened and tongues became involved in a sensual dance, dipping and swirling, licking and stroking soothingly. It was just like JC remembered. It had been six months since he had kissed Justin, but the intensity was the same. Yet it was more familiar now. Their first kiss, even though it had been far from awkward, had still been a first kiss. This one was different. It went beyond simple exploration, beyond curiosity. This kiss was full of passion, full of desire.
And then, just as quickly as it had started, it was over. Justin jumped to his feet, mumbling incoherently. His eyes flashed anxiously as he looked everywhere except at JC. JC climbed to his feet as well and grabbed Justin’s shoulder lightly, causing him to stop and meet the older man’s gaze.
“Justin.” But he was cut off before he could say anymore.
“Just go JC. I’ll call you later.” And with that, Justin turned and half ran toward his house. He wasn’t mad, wasn’t upset at all. He simply seemed very anxious and suddenly very nervous. JC sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
He should leave. That was what Justin told him to do. But JC had known Justin for years. Longer than almost everyone else in his life. And he definitely knew Justin better than anyone in his life. And as much as the words hit his brain, he knew it was not what Justin really wanted him to do. So instead of climbing in his car, he turned the other way and headed for the door.
Justin was slumped in one of his kitchen chairs, head resting on his arms across the table in front of him. He knew JC was there. JC could tell. But he didn’t raise his head or say anything. JC stood behind him and reached out, placing his hands on Justin’s shoulders. Justin didn’t move away and after a moment, JC started to rub them lightly, working out the tense muscles.
“What happened Justin? Why did that become weird for you? It’s not like it was the first time it happened. And things were fine after last time. Nothing changed. So why this time?” Justin sighed but didn’t respond. “Come on J, talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”
“It’s just...” Justin paused, not sure how to say what he needed to say. “That kiss Josh. I just...we can’t.” JC shrugged.
“Ok, so we won’t. We said last time it was a one time thing. Somehow it turned into a two time thing. It won’t happen again.” It was that easy for him. As wonderful as both kisses had been, this was Justin. Justin didn’t want it, then they wouldn’t do it. It was that simple.
Justin groaned and placed his head back on the table, banging it a few times on the hard surface for effect. JC reached his hand down and the next time Justin’s head banged down, it simply hit JC’s open palm. “Stop it,” JC chided gently. “Banging out brain cells won’t help. It happened, it’s over, it will never happen again. End of story.”
“But that’s just it Jace. I don’t what it to be over.” It was whispered gently, and JC had to strain to hear it.
“What do you mean you don’t want it to be over?” Justin simply shook his head and stared the table. JC bent down next to him, their faces level. Reaching out slowly, JC turned Justin’s face until their eyes met. “Justin?”
“I like it Josh.” He turned his eyes away and glanced instead at his hands, which were busy bunching and unbunching the front of his own, still damp, tee shirt. It was a nervous habit that JC knew well. “I like kissing you. More than I probably should. But I can’t help it.” He still wouldn’t meet JC’s eyes. “After last time.” He sighed deeply before continuing. “After last time, I pretended to let it go, I tried to make myself forget about it. Forget what your lips felt like on mine. I tried to push away the feelings I was having, the things I felt like doing to you and with you. And I had almost succeeded, and then today, this, it just kind of happened again. I was there, you were there, we were both soaked, rolling around on the ground. It started off innocent. Then, I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
JC rubbed his thumb in gentle circles across Justin’s cheek. “Don’t be sorry.” Justin’s eyes looked at him quizzically, searching for a meaning in his eyes. “Don’t ever be sorry for your feelings Justin. They’re your feelings and you should be proud of what and how you feel.”
“Yeah, but you’re my best friend, and I just told you that I wanted you. How can I be proud of that. I don’t want this to come between us.”
“It won’t.” JC’s reassuring words didn’t seem to appease Justin much. He still looked skeptical.
“How can this not change things? Are you trying to tell me that now when we’re together, you’re going to just be able to forget this and act like there’s nothing there?” JC shook his head and Justin’s jaw dropped. “See, this is what I meant!” He stood and tried to move away, to retreat from the room, but JC caught his arm and pulled him back. “Let me go Josh!” Instead of letting him go, JC pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Justin’s body. Justin struggled, trying to get away, but JC had a firm hold on him.
“You’ve got to stop running away from this,” he whispered, running a soothing hand along Justin’s back, stopping at his neck and squeezing slightly. Justin settled himself slightly, but JC could still feel his tense muscles below his own hands. “We need to talk about this. Rationally.” JC pulled back just slightly so he could see Justin’s face, his hold never loosening. “If I let you go, do you promise not to take off?” Justin nodded and JC pulled his arms away slowly, still waiting for Justin to bolt. After he was certain Justin was going to stay put, JC sat down in the chair Justin had occupied moments before, motioning for Justin to take one of the other chairs.
“Can I talk without being interrupted?” JC asked. Justin nodded again and bit at the nail of his thumb, another nervous habit. JC took a deep breath. “Justin, I’ve never imagined being with another man. Ever. It’s just not something I’ve though about.” Justin looked up at him sadly but didn’t say anything. “But when we kissed, so many months ago, something changed. Truthfully, I’ve never felt like that before, with any woman I’ve ever been with. And since I know for a fact I’ve been in love before, that’s saying something.” The sadness in Justin’s eyes flickered but didn’t disappear completely.
“Justin, I love you. Have for years. I’m not in love with you, romantically. But, I think that’s just because I’ve never let myself reach that far. There is love on so many levels for us, I think it would be very easy to fall in love. Hell, I already know how to talk to you about anything, we always have a blast hanging out, we already know, and like, each other’s families and friends. It wouldn’t be that huge of a change. Kissing would come into the picture, but we already know we can do that. And as for everything after kissing, we can play all of that by ear.” JC paused to gauge Justin’s reaction. “If this is what you want. If you want to try this, I’m willing to give it a try too.” Justin shook his head and for a moment, JC felt like a complete idiot. He had completely miscalculated Justin’s emotions.
“Oh, well, um, ok. Then we can just...”
“No Jace,” Justin interrupted. “It’s not. It’s just that. Jace, I can’t ask you to do this for me. It wouldn’t be fair to you.” He sighed deeply and slumped into the chair.
“Ask me? For you? Justin, what are you talking about?” JC was confused. Quickly going to back over what he had just said to Justin, he finally smiled and then started to laugh lightly to himself. “It sounded like I was trying to convince myself this is a good idea, didn’t it?”
“It did,” Justin nodded. “Josh, you don’t have to do this. Look, I know you just want me to be happy. You always have, throughout our entire friendship. You’ve made it your life’s mission at times to cheer me up or to take the hurt away, or whatever the case may be. And I appreciate that. I really do. But I can’t be in a relationship with you if you’re just doing it to please me. That won’t make you happy.”
“Justin, that’s not what I meant.” He ran a hand through his hair before glancing back up at Justin. “Is this what you want? By telling me you like kissing me, are you, in essence, suggesting you want to be with me? For more than just one night?”
“I do,” Justin whispered. JC pulled himself up out of the chair and kneeled down in front of Justin, placing his hands on his knees gently.
“I wasn’t trying to convince myself. And I wouldn’t just be doing this for you. I meant what I said. Sure, it’s going to be a little weird. You’re not only my best friend that I’m going to be suddenly with in a non platonic way, but you’re also a male. Neither of us has any experience with this, but I’m willing to learn as I go. And truthfully, I think we could be great together. I think there’s always been something there between us, something more than friendship, waiting just below the surface for the right moment to appear. I think this is that moment.”
“So you really want this? You’re not just saying this and doing this to make me happy?” Justin asked, staring into JC’s eyes, searching for an answer. JC smiled.
“No, I really do want this. You changed something in me. With the first kiss it was only slightly, but after today, it’s a lot stronger.” JC paused and ran his fingers lightly along Justin’s cheek. “How about this. How about we do this on a trial and error basis. This is new to both of us, and I’m not sure about you, but I’m still a little confused.” Justin nodded to show that he was too, but didn’t interrupt. “So how about we test this out for awhile, play it by ear, and see how it goes. If it seems to be working, then great. And if not, then we simply go back to friendship. No stings attached.”
“Did you really just say that?” Justin asked, his mouth dropping open slightly.
“Yeah, I did,” JC smiled guiltily. “And the saddest part is, I didn’t even realize it until after it was out of my mouth.” They both laughed and any tension still remaining in the kitchen evaporated.