*~ Letters Of The Heart ~*

A is for Atlantis

Justin awoke slowly, stretching lazily before reaching out for JC, only to find the bed empty and JC’s side cold. His eyes opened quickly, scanning the room. JC wasn’t there, and he wasn’t on the couch in the other room; Justin could see it through the open door from the bed.

Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was only eight. They didn’t have anything to do until five today when they had to meet with Tim to go over the arrangement for the song they were all doing together, and there was no reason to get up early. He contemplated just closing his eyes and going back to sleep but as soon as the thought entered, he knew it would never happen, not until he knew where JC was.

Pushing the covers off himself, he shivered as the cold air hit him. The air conditioner was on high, creating quite a chill in the room. Padding to the doorway, he quickly scanned the rest of the suite, coming up empty, before heading to the bathroom. And there, taped to the mirror, was a note in JC’s messy handwriting.

He’d woken up early, been restless, didn’t want to wake Justin because he looked too peaceful sleeping, and had gone to the beach. That was the basis of it. Oh yeah, and he loved Justin.

Sighing, Justin pulled the note off the mirror and dropped it into the garbage can. Only JC, the man who loved to sleep, complained when they had stuff to do and didn’t get enough sleep, would wake up early when he had ample opportunity to sleep in, and then head to the beach. They were in Atlantis, the Bahamas, a tropical paradise, made for romance. And instead, he’d left Justin alone in the huge bed that was made for sex, to go to the beach alone. He’d never understand the way that man’s mind worked.

Justin yawned as he made his way back to the bed and phone, picking up the receiver to call Eric. Eric wasn’t happy about being woken up, but said he’d be ready to go in ten. Justin nodded and hung up, heading for his own clothes.

Ten minutes later, he was walking through the lobby, Eric following him sleepily, mumbling under his breath about spoiled pop stars and early wake up calls. Justin ignored him. He liked to rant, it was one of his hobbies.

Stepping out into the sun, his body warmed up considerably from the cool air conditioning inside the hotel. He scanned the sand as he made his way down the beach. It was still early and there weren’t many people out yet. Just a few people sun bathing before the rush of tourists hit in an hour or so. Justin saw Lonnie, sitting on a beach towel, eyes half open, scanning the water intently. Justin followed his gaze and his breath caught in his throat. There, out in the waves, laying flat on his stomach on a surfboard, was JC.

As Justin watched, he paddled out into the swell, body and board jumping over waves that weren’t to his liking. And then, when he saw one coming his way, he turned the board, positioning his body, ready to ride it in. Justin watched as he started paddling back toward shore, the wave catching up, meeting him, lifting him into the air. JC was up in no time, arms spread out for balance, feet planted firmly on the board below him. The wave rose higher, curling around and under itself.

And then it flipped, JC lost his balance and tumbled into the water, board flying in the opposite direction only to be stopped by the rope attached to both it and JC’s leg. He came up a moment later, shaking water from his face and running his hands over his head, getting the wet hair out of his eyes before reaching for his board. Glancing up at the beach, he saw Justin and waved wildly before turning to head back out into the swells.

Justin watched him with mild apprehension. He didn’t like the ocean, hadn’t since the time he’d gotten pulled into the undertow and had to be saved by a lifeguard. He hadn’t like going underwater much at all after that, but he was getting better. JC was helping him get past it. But the ocean still scared him. And watching JC out there scared him a little bit as well. But JC looked completely at ease. Relaxed and comfortable with what he was doing.

He also looked sexy as hell.

Justin stood, hand on his hips, eyes squinted against the sun, watching JC for quite some time before he finally tired of surfing and began paddling back toward land. Justin dropped his hands and stepped into the water, wading out until it reached his knees, waiting for JC. When JC was able to stand, he did, grabbing his surfboard and wading in. Justin noticed the wet suit immediately. It reminded him of back on MMC, when JC had to walk around in a wet suit on the set of Emerald Cove most days. Justin hadn’t seen it personally until the last season, when he and JC had actually been friends and he’d been invited along to see the tapings.

Back then, JC had been scrawny, and the wet suit had just made him look it. But now, as JC stood before him, smiling widely, Justin let his eyes scan over JC’s body. The wet suit clung in all the right places, showing off the fine definition of his chest and arms. He was still as skinny as he had been back then, but he had muscles now. Nice ones, in Justin’s personal opinion. And he had a hard, firm body that just begged to be touched, wet suit or not. But the chicken legs were the same as they had been back then. There was no getting around that one.

“Hey, sweetness. Missed you this morning.” Justin wanted to kiss him. Wanted to lean in and press his body against JC’s, press his lips against the wet ones standing before him. But even though the beach was practically deserted, there were still a few people up and about. And there was no way they could take that risk.

“You just looked too peaceful. And I needed to get out. The ocean was calling to me. It’s been a long time since I’ve surfed.” He paused and grinned up at Justin, eyes crinkling. “You should have seen me at first. I was horrible. But it came back eventually.”

“You looked hot from where I was standing. You look hot now. That wet suit give me ideas. Makes me want to do bad things to you.” Justin voice dropped to the ‘sexy bedroom voice’ as JC lovingly called it.

“That so?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Justin nodded, licking his lips.

“What do you say we head back to the room? We have plenty of time to ‘relax’ in bed before we have to go do rehearsal for the TV special.”

“Relaxing sounds like my kind of activity,” Justin said, grabbing JC’s arm to pull him out of the water. As Justin hurried back toward the hotel, JC a couple steps behind him, surfboard under his arm, and Eric and Lonnie hurrying to catch up, JC smiled.

“I might have to take up surfing more often if this is the response I get,” he mumbled. Justin just turned to grin at him before picking up his pace.

*****

B is for Bowling

"A bowling alley," JC's eyes widened in surprise with his statement and Justin's smile grew as he put his hand on JC's back leisurely. "I love it."

"Good for the first date, eh?" Justin asked and JC smiled over to him, enjoying his boyfriend's quick action of allowing his ego to grow. Justin turned to face him slowly and his hand slid up to the back of JC's neck, squeezing softly. "You ready to get your ass whooped?"

"Please," JC rolled his eyes as he continued walking, leaving Justin behind him by a few paces. That didn't stop him from catching up and Justin pushed the door open for JC. The sounds of pins crashing together and down filled his ears and JC blinked and remembered why he hadn't been to an alley in a long time. The noise always gave him a headache.

"Don't worry," Justin whispered as if reading his thoughts. "I brought Excedrin."

"I knew I became your boyfriend for a reason," JC murmured only causing a giggling noise to escape Justin as they stepped up to the counter. Justin pushed JC's hand down when he went for his credit card and soon they were lacing up their shoes with their guards beside them laughing as Justin also attempted of setting the board up correctly.

"I don't get it," Justin sighed as he looked to JC. "I have our names in but it won't-"

"Press start," JC interrupted with his answer as he looked down to his shoes with disdain. They didn't even match.

"Oh," Justin repeated out slowly when new batches of chuckles were released behind him and he turned around to give the guards a dirty look. "Can't one of you get us food or something?"

"Oh that's ever funnier," Lonnie, the larger of the two guards, elbowed Eric. "He thinks we're his butlers now."

"It's our first," Justin quieted his voice down as he looked around the almost empty bowling alley, "date."

"C'mon," Eric said to Lonnie as he stood up. "We'll be at the end of the room but you get your own food."

"Thanks," Justin said with his smile widening and he looked to JC whose grin was equally as large. JC looked back to the guards walking away and he gave them a small wave before going to the middle rack where their balls sat.

"Am I first?" JC asked and Justin only rolled his eyes.

"You're always first," Justin replied and JC just batted him away and picked up the lightest ball he could find from earlier. JC walked up to the line and looked over the pins and Justin leaned back in his seat as he watched him. His moves were slow but when he released the ball it quickly moved into the gutter and Justin's laugh came out before he could stop them.

"You distracted me," JC replied as he turned around slowly and ignored Justin shaking his head.

"Don't put this on me," Justin laughed out. "You sure you don't want gutters?"

"Fuck off," JC replied but looking to him with a small laugh and Justin shared a smile with him. The ball coming up from the shoot distracted him away and he picked it up before walking back to the line.

"Try the between the legs thing," Justin called out to him and JC turned his head to look at him. "Granny style it."

"You know where you can put that granny style," JC muttered under his breath but knew Justin read his lips and let out a scoff. JC just shook his head as his shoulders bounced with small laughs. "I never cursed this much on a first date before. This has to be a record."

"I never had sex on a first date, maybe we can break that record too," Justin said as JC released the ball, only a distraction for him though as the ball spun directly into the gutter again.

"That time you distracted me," JC pointed out as he walked quickly to him and sat beside him. "You suck."

"I can," Justin promised as he made no attempt to stand up when the pins were all set up. "We can ditch this place here."

"No, we're completing this date," JC said slowly as he looked around them quickly. Seeing no ones immediate attention on them, he leaned forward and placed his lips over Justin's for a quick kiss. Justin's smile was still on his face when JC looked over him and he shook his head, pushing Justin's shoulder. "Now bowl."

"Whatever you say," Justin replied softly as he slid out of the seat. He walked up to get his ball when he smiled over to JC who only shook his head. He knew that look on Justin and he was almost regretting how he was letting Justin talk. "Maybe if you aren't too sore from bowling we can get sore from something else."

"Just play with your own damn ball," JC retorted quickly and Justin let out a new round of laughs before going up to lane.

*****

C is for Chasez

Cha-Sez? Cha-seez?

Justin's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as he looked over the cast list he received for his first season on the Mickey Mouse Club. Why couldn't this person have a simple name like, he paused as he looked down at the paper. God-boldo? Go-Db-oldo? Luck-Ah? Luke-Ah? It was as if they all got together and asked for complicated last names. He let out a breath of relief when he scanned the other names. At least there were easy ones. Spears, Morris, McGill. At least if he met them, and for some reason had to say their last names, he wouldn't have to ask how.

He let out a shaky breath as he folded the cast list into quarters and stuffed it into his back pocket. His mom had left him, after he told her he was old enough to do it on his own. Now he wished, when he saw some other new cast members with their mothers on the opposite side of the room, that he had let her stay too. His hand nervously found its way into his pocket, his thumb sticking out though. He bit his lip and scanned over everyone. Cast members he recognized stood off in the corner, talking, catching up from the small break they had been given.

The food beside him on the craft service table smelled really good and Justin looked over the basket of donuts before shaking his head. His stomach was too jittery to eat and he looked away quickly. He knew looking back on this day he would laugh, thinking about how nervous he was probably, but now being the nervous twelve year old he was, he couldn't help but try to keep his cool confident look while being anything but that on the inside.

The door opened on the opposite side of the large, open area and conversation stopped in the old cast member group as they saw JC walk in. Mr. Confusing Last Name himself. Justin took a deep breath. He had watched them all on television, well the second half of the last season they were on when he had learned he would be joining them. It was as if he was seeing a celebrity and he took a deep breath watching JC smile, high five one of the other cast members and instantly join the group talking.

Justin looked away before it could be warranted as staring and he scanned the room to the other cast members in it. He saw a kid around his age, by himself as well. Locking eyes, it was a safety to him and he smiled until the kid looked at him, almost relieved, before walking over.

"Hi," Justin smiled with his greeting and the other kid let out a breath.

"I'm so nervous," he let out before standing beside Justin. "What's your name?"

"Justin," he paused, maybe if he said his last name, he would be replied with one. "Justin Timberlake."

"I'm Ryan," he replied, then scanned the room. Justin had that cast list memorized and he cursed his luck when he had to meet one of the few people whose last name he knew how to pronounce. They asked the complimentary questions, where they were each from, what they liked to do, what place they were staying at and when JC approached the craft service table, they each stopped talking quickly when he looked to the two of them.

"Hey," JC said to them cheerily before taking a large bite out of the chocolate donut Justin had been eyeing. They both replied their greetings as well, softer than when they had said hello to each other. He walked forward though, wiping his hand on his jeans before sticking it out to Ryan. "I'm JC."

"Ryan," he replied, taking JC's hand and shaking it quickly. JC held his hand in front of Justin as he nodded to Ryan. Justin took his hand shakily, JC initiating the quick up and down movement then releasing their hands.

"Justin," he paused again, hoping his last name routine would work. "Justin Timberlake."

"JC Chasez," he replied. Sha-Zay.

Justin nodded, his throat growing drier before JC told him he'd see them both later, and that it was nice meeting them of course. He walked away to greet the other new cast members and the two younger, new cast members watched him. Ryan started talking about how cool JC was and Justin merely nodded, deciding he would eat a donut after all.

Sha-Zay. Chasez. The name rolled off his tongue as if it was a foreign word made for seduction. He almost giggled as he picked up a donut, Ryan opting for Doritos, and they continued talking about which rides at Disney were the best to ride.

At home, he'd practice saying that name in the privacy of his bedroom. Right now he'd just sneak glances at JC, JC Chasez, as he pretended to care more about the conversation he was having.

*****

D is for Dreams and Desires

The air conditioner was on high, the radio on low. Justin was singing along softly, words coming out in almost whispers. Outside, the darkness stretched on forever. There were no streetlights to speak off. Justin’s headlights were the only thing illuminating the road before them. JC’s fingers were wrapped around Justin’s, resting comfortably in the space on the seat between them.

The Challenge For The Children basketball game had ended a few hours ago, and after that there’d been the traditional wrap party. It was held at the Hard Rock Café this year, at the Sawgrass Mills plaza right across from the Office Depot Center where the game had been held. The two of them hadn’t stayed long. Justin had a few days off from his tour and they wanted to head back to Orlando to spend a few days alone after the fun but tiring weekend.

Press had been everywhere, all weekend. And although they knew it was going to be like that, they still hadn’t enjoyed not being able to have much time together. So now here they were, driving the four hours from Miami to Orlando. Justin claimed to know a short cut and had them traveling some back roads, doing sixty most of the way. JC didn’t argue. Justin was like a road map when it came to getting places and always seemed to know the odd ways to get there.

JC turned, eyes shinning, to face Justin. Justin glanced back at him for a moment, smile reaching his own face, and he squeezed JC’s fingers softly. JC unbuckled his seat belt and moved closer, sliding up against Justin’s side and leaning his head on Justin’s shoulder. Justin’s arm came around him, resting comfortable on his shoulders.

JC leaned there quietly for a few moments, hand resting softly on Justin’s knee. And then, just when Justin thought he was asleep, he felt JC’s hand slide up his thigh, rubbing small circles into the denim covered skin. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped from between his lips. JC’s mouth was on his ear, licking and sucking, sliding the lobe between his teeth and biting gently.

“Do you remember what you told me, J? Back when we first got together. What you told me your fantasy, your ultimate desire was?” Justin could only nod, swallowing hard. JC wouldn’t. Would he? And suddenly, his hand slid farther up Justin’s thigh, moving to cover Justin’s cock, palming it with gentle flicks of his wrist.

Justin couldn’t help himself when he thrust up into JC’s hand, hips rising off the seat. Three years. They’d been together for three years and JC still got this kind of reaction every time they touched. His eyes closed unconsciously until he felt JC’s mouth pull away from his ear, his hand pause on Justin’s dick. They snapped open immediately and he turned questioning eyes on JC.

“If we do this, you’re going to have to keep your eyes open. You’re going to have to concentrate.” Justin could only nod, but it was enough for JC and his hand was moving again, his lips and teeth and tongue licking and biting against Justin’s neck. Justin kept his eyes open, scanning them across the road in front of him. This had to be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.

His pants popped open suddenly and he could feel JC’s fingers, dragging the zipper down, pressing against his hard cock on purpose. Justin lifted his hips and JC slid Justin’s pants and boxers down over his hips, down to his knees. Justin caught the looks JC sent his way, caught JC’s tongue slipping out to lick at his lips, from her peripheral vision.

“That’s sexy, J.” JC purred, fucking purred, in his ear, his hand finding its way to Justin’s cock again, wrapping around the hot flesh, sliding up and down. His pace was slow and Justin was sure he was going to die from the teasing. His grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white, as he struggled to keep his eyes open, struggled to keep his head from falling back against the headrest. Low grunts and moans slid from between his lips, filling the air of the car, filling his mind. JC let his thumb run over the head, collecting the precum from the leaking slit, spreading it down the rest of Justin’s cock.

And then, JC’s hand was pulled away and he was working on his own pants, getting them unbuttoned and down his legs, kicking them off to the floor of the car in record time, and in a cramped car no less. Justin would have been very impressed if his mind had been able to wrap around that piece of information. But all he could grasp at the moment was that JC was getting him off in his car, while he was driving down an old country road. And that thought alone was enough to make is mind short circuit.

When JC slid onto his lap, between his body and the steering wheel, their erections pressing together, Justin had to struggle to keep his eyes open. JC’s head found his shoulder immediately, still allowing Justin to see the road, his mouth pressed against Justin’s ear again.

“Keep your eyes open.”

The reminder wasn’t necessary, but was hard to follow. It was a serious concern at this point, with JC sliding against him, arching his body into Justin’s, pressing their erections tightly against each other. His thrusts were slow and Justin met him thrust for thrust, lifting his hips, his body, to meet JC halfway.

Head still resting against Justin’s shoulder, JC lifted himself up, positioning himself over Justin and sliding down quickly, taking Justin all the way inside of him. A hiss slipped from his throat and Justin felt JC’s body tense. There had been no preparation, no loosening him up, so Justin paused as well, feeling like he was about to explode, until JC was ready to move.

The pain subsided quickly and JC began to rock against him, sliding up and down Justin’s cock, pulling almost all the way back before sliding back down. His pace sped up almost instantly, moving from the slow, sensual movements to quick, hard thrusts. Justin removed one hand from the steering wheel, sliding it between their bodies and wrapping it around JC’s own cock, stroking in time with JC’s thrusts. His eyes struggled to stay open, to stay focused on the road before him, and the car veered to the left a little before he pulled it back, sending JC slamming against him, causing deep moans from both of them at the contact. He was close, so close. And he could tell JC was too. His movements were becoming more frantic.

JC’s head was still pressed against Justin’s shoulder, his lips pressed against Justin’s neck, lapping at the skin in time with his thrusts as he bounced up and down on Justin’s cock. His arms slid around Justin’s waist, pressing as close to Justin as he could possibly get.

And there, driving down a back road somewhere between Miami and Orlando, Justin thrust up two more times and exploded deep inside JC. JC continued to ride him, milking the last of it out of him. Justin was still trembling, still tense from his orgasm, when JC let go, coming into Justin’s hand, shaking body pressing close to Justin.

JC slid off Justin’s softening cock, curling up against him on the seat, head pressed against Justin’s shoulder as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Did the fantasy live up to your expectations?” He could tell JC was close to sleep, voice deep and sated.

“You live up to every desire I’ve ever had,” Justin said, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of JC’s head.

*****

E is for Éclair

They sat in a pink box on the bus's table. Between Lance's laptop and Chris's too. Justin looked at the box when he passed it, going to toss his bag into the bunk and when he came back, JC was sitting in the booth seat opening it quickly.

He knew what was inside, they both knew. Justin took the seat across from him with a shared smile between the two of them. When Justin pulled the box into the middle of the table, both of them licking their lips, they brought the top of the box open and stared at the dessert.

"Éclairs," they breathed out together before reaching into the box and grabbing one of the ten. They looked at each other quickly with smiles before bringing the dessert up to their mouths. Justin's bites were quick, practically inhaling it as JC bit delicately into the sweet.

"Is good," Justin's muffled voice came out. His fingers went into his mouth after swallowing the bite and licked the cream off of them. "Is real good."

It wasn't very often that they had treats like this on the bus. Lance was always complaining about not being able to eat it. They were on their Ain't No Stoppin' Us Tour, and of course Lance decided in the middle of it that he was going on a diet. Justin reached into the box again as JC finished up his first one and they shared another quick smile.

"You have chocolate on the corner of your lip," Justin said softly. JC snuck his tongue out, flicking the corner of his mouth where the chocolate lay but couldn't get rid of it. Justin urged him to try again as he put the éclair down in front of him. Another failed attempt from JC and Justin sighed bringing his hand up. His movements were slow and the small contact against JC's lips, sliding over the corner of his mouth and wiping the chocolate away from his skin felt even longer. It was instinct when he brought his finger down then up to his lips to clean his finger off.

JC's eyes darted to the éclair box immediately.

The silence of the bus was rare. Chris was in the back talking lightly with his mom, the door to that area closed. Lance and Joey were napping, leaving Justin alone with JC. Justin was finishing his second éclair now across from him as JC had lifted his dessert up.

Justin watched the unhurried movements, slowly going up against his lips. They opened lazily and Justin's eyelids slid down partially, his vision slightly obstructed. He didn't have to think hard of what JC was trying to do to him, what JC was succeeding in doing. They had been playing this game for a month. Who could make the other crack first. Flirtation was the tool they used and lust was the weapon they subjected themselves through. JC still refused to give into that though and Justin was left with an erection almost every night.

JC took a small bite, miniscule. A nibble would be a better way to describe it. The cream on the inside, the chocolate on top of it, left itself present on his lips. His lips closed though as his hand with the dessert moved away slightly. JC's tongue peaked out as he looked directly at Justin, who now had his mouth ajar with his deep breaths. With slower movements against his lips now with his tongue, JC wiped the rich cream away and chocolate. He shut his eyes, moaning his approval of the taste before hearing a small noise of pleasure from Justin as well. His eyes opened slowly and focused on Justin who looked almost pleadingly at him.

The éclair was brought up and JC let his eyes close as he opened his mouth wider than before. He pushed the éclair into his mouth, eyes opening quickly when it was halfway in his mouth, and focused unwaveringly on Justin. However Justin's eyes didn't meet his, they were too focused on the sweet being pushed completely into JC's mouth. All of it.

Justin's mouth fell completely opened now. JC had pretty much deep swallowed the dessert.

When he squeaked and slid out of his seat JC's lips curled into a smile as he watched. Justin shut the door of the bathroom behind him quickly as JC pulled the box of éclairs closer to himself as he swallowed the one in his mouth.

"All mine," he laughed lightly as he reached to take another.

*****

F is for Falling Stage

Justin tried to climb off the bed, but JC pulled him back down, covering him with his own body to prevent Justin from leaving again.

“Jace, baby, I really gotta go.”

“But I haven’t seen you in almost a month. You owe me some quality time, Timberlake.” JC’s tongue came out, licking a slow trail up Justin’s jaw. The sharp intake of breath that came out of Justin’s mouth made JC smile against his warm skin.

“I’d, oh shit, love to, sweetness. But I really gotta go right now. Quality time, later. Definitely.” JC ground down into Justin’s hip, his erection clearly evident. “Shit, don’t do that. You keep that up and not only will I miss sound check, I’ll probably end up missing the entire show.”

“I seem to remember,” JC started, ignoring Justin’s half attempted pleas at being freed, letting his hand trail up under Justin’s shirt to run over his chest, “you getting a blow job last time I saw you. And then, suddenly, before you had a chance to pay me back for the kick ass orgasm I sucked out of you, you had to go.” He was smiling down at Justin now, fingers pinching one of Justin’s nipples, causing Justin to arch into him. Justin hadn’t done it on purpose. An interview had been changed at the last minute and instead of the hour Justin thought he’d have to spend with his boyfriend, his assistant had knocked on his hotel room door and insisted that they had to leave right now.

JC had a plane to catch two hours after that, so Justin had to leave him, hard and wanting, only to not see him for a month. Now, JC had a few days empty in his schedule and had decided on surprising Justin, meeting up with the tour in Atlantic City.

Justin had just gotten into town that morning and had been happily shocked to see JC waiting for him at the hotel. They’d spent the last hour kissing lazily on the bed, catching up on lost time. And now, just when Justin had to leave, JC wanted to take things further.

And when JC slid down his body, lips and teeth and tongue playing across his skin, Justin could do nothing but succumb to the man he loved. He was only human after all, and with someone as wonderful as JC offering up sexual advances, there was no way he could say no.

An hour later, as Justin was running around the room looking for his shoes, he’d almost wished he’d said no. Not quite, but almost. He had visions of people bitching at him about being so late, mumbling under their breath about spoiled pop stars. And when JC, who was still sprawled lazily on the bed, still naked, reached out for him as Justin passed, Justin pulled away quickly. He turned, eyes meeting JC’s own smiling blue eyes. But the smile died immediately when JC got a look at Justin’s face. Justin was not happy.

“Don’t get all pissy on me now. You weren’t upset about it ten minutes ago when you were withering under me, begging me.”

“I told you I had to go, an hour ago. I was running late then. Now I’m passed fashionably late. Shit!” He yelled as he stubbed his toe on the dresser, hopping around for a minute before falling clumsily onto the bed, back to JC. JC reached out a hand, placing it on Justin’s hip.

“I came to see you, J. To spend time with you. I don’t want to spend the next four days fighting because we’re both too proud to let this go.” He saw Justin’s shoulders slump slightly and knew the argument was over. Justin turned, ready to say something, to apologize. JC read the apology in his eyes before it was even voiced and he leaned up, capturing Justin’s lips before the words could come. He didn’t need to hear them, it wasn’t necessary. The look in Justin’s eyes was enough.

“I love you. Now go. I’ll see you later before you hit the stage.”

“Love you,” Justin said, pulling back and standing. He slipped his last shoe on quickly, sent a quick wink toward JC, and headed for the main door of the suite. Just as he reached it, his cell phone rang in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw Christina’s name displayed on the screen and quickly flipped it open.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Shit, like they made you call to find out where I am.”

“Justin? Are you ok?”

“Of course I’m ok. I’m leaving the hotel now.” He pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway, nodding to Eric who was waiting to escort him downstairs and through the crowds.

“Wait, you’re at the hotel? So you weren’t on the stage?” He could hear relief in her voice as he pressed the button, calling the elevator.

“What are you talking about?”

“Justin, the stage collapsed! Lights broke and fell, crushing most of the set. They had to cancel the show tonight. You were suppose to be up there, doing your sound check.” Justin stopped, one foot inside the elevator. “You weren’t even at the venue?” But he’d stopped listening. The stage had collapsed. He was supposed to be on the stage when it happened. He’d been with JC instead. JC, who’d just made him feel so good. JC, who he’d snapped at for no reason. JC, who’d inadvertently saved his life. His JC.

“Christina, I’m fine. I’m safe, but I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” And without waiting for a response, he shut his phone, stuffing it back into his pocket and turning to Eric. “There’s no show tonight. The stage collapsed.” Then he turned and made his way back toward his room, slipping inside quickly. JC was still laying where he’d left him, eyes closed, but Justin could tell he wasn’t quite asleep yet. Before JC had even opened his eyes, Justin was in the bed next to him, curled around JC, relishing in his warmth.

“Justin, what,” JC started, but cut off when Justin’s eyes turned to meet his. “Baby, you’re shaking. What’s the matter?”

“The stage, Josh. And I should have been there. But I was here, with you. And I could have died.” JC’s arms came around Justin, instinctively wrapping him in a warm embrace.

“Shhh, take a deep breath.” Justin did, lips quivering slightly as he exhaled. “Now what happened?”

“Christina called, said the stage collapsed. Something with the lights or some shit. Jace, I was supposed to be up there, doing sound check when it happened. But, I was here with you. You saved my life.” JC saw the emotions running across Justin’s face. The fact that he could have been there, should have been there, hitting him hard. And there was nothing JC could say, nothing to make it better, nothing to make the emotions go away. So he simply pulled Justin close, chin resting on Justin’s head and held him, sending a silent thank you to whoever was responsible for keeping Justin safe and in JC’s arms.

*****

G is for Germany and Pixie Sticks

Justin was bouncing around, jumping from chair to chair, running back and forth across the concourse. He knew he was way too hyper for his own good. But they’d been stuck in this damn foreign airport for going on five hours now and there wasn’t much to do to amuse themselves so they’d turned to sugar. Pixie sticks to be exact. And he could feel it affecting his sixteen-year-old body, coursing through his veins. It wasn’t exactly like smoking pot, but it was definitely some sort of high.

He saw JC standing a ways down the concourse, looking out the window at the planes, and slid up to him, shimming in front of him, wiggling his hips suggestively.

“I’m so fucking hyper.” It was a recent thing, the constant cussing. And JC tried his hardest to not say anything, to simply be a friend instead of acting like an overprotective father. But it was hard and he had to bite his tongue often.

“You’ve had too much sugar. I think they should put a warning on pixie sticks or something.”

“Well what the hell else are we suppose to do? We’ve been stuck in this damn place forever, we’ve gotta amuse ourselves somehow.” JC glanced at him quickly before letting his gaze travel out the window again. “Although, I could think of a few ways. And none of them involve sugar.” Justin said, letting his fingers trail over JC’s arm. JC turned to look at him again, eyebrows rising.

“I bet you don’t know as many ways as you like to think you do.” Justin let his tongue slip between his lips, running wetly over them. He saw JC shiver and chuckled.

“I know more than you think I do. It’s called porn, Jace. You might really want to look into it sometime.”

“Smartass,” JC mumbled.

“It’s a cute ass, too.” It was said so innocently that JC could do nothing but smile, shaking his head lightly.

“You are pretty cute.”

“Did you just call me cute? No, see, I said my ass was cute. Not me. That’s just, no. Hot works, or even sexy. But not cute.” Justin’s nose scrunched up in distaste. And then, before JC could reply, Justin had bounded away. Chris had held up a new bag of pixie sticks and Justin was off, ready to pump more sugar into his body. JC turned, watching him run off, and shook his head slightly. The comments, the blatant flirting, was a new development in their relationship. JC knew Justin had a crush on him for almost as long as they’d know each other, but back then he’d done nothing more than follow JC around like a cute little puppy dog.

But now, now Justin decided to step it up a notch. He made comments, blatant comments, whenever he could. He would find excuses to use JC as a human pillow. He touched him, his arm, his cheek, his lips, under a different pretext, but JC knew it was simply so he could have the contact.

JC didn’t mind, exactly. When he was really honest with himself, he liked the flirting, liked being a human pillow. There was no denying that Justin was hot, even if he was only sixteen. But at the same time, he was only sixteen, and JC was very hesitant to let it go any farther than innocent comments and touches. He knew Justin wanted to. Justin made it obvious all the time, but JC just couldn’t get past the age difference.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Justin’s loud yell from across the concourse. Apparently he and Chris were starting a two-man circus act. Chris was on the ground, spinning around, with Justin jumping over him. JC knew that any moment Justin would trip over Chris’s legs and fall on top of the older man. But they were better than he thought they would be and moments later Chris stopped spinning, Justin still standing on both feet.

Joey appeared before him, ever present camera in hand, and offered him the bag of pixie sticks.

“Might as well join Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber,” JC mumbled as he reached for the bag, Justin appearing at his side in seconds, standing close, waiting for him to eat the sugary confections.

A couple hours later, they’d finally found their luggage and were on another plane headed to another country to do another interview and another TV show. Justin was seated next to JC, head resting against JC’s shoulder, eyes closed. The sugar had worn off and he was worn out. JC felt Justin’s eyelashes flutter against his cheek and he turned, eyes meeting Justin’s.

“Thanks for not thinking I’m some dumb little kid.” Ok, whoa. Where’d that come from?

“Justin, I’ve never though of you as some dumb little kid. Not even back when we first met.”

“You mean when I followed you around like a puppy?” JC smiled, eyes crinkling slightly as he regarded Justin.

“Not even then,” JC promised, pressing a quick kiss to Justin’s forehead. “We’re friends, J. Always. Where is this coming from?” Justin shrugged and turned his head back down, eyes away from JC.

“You just, you’re so much older and you don’t have to hang out with me, but you do. And it’s not, like, out of pity or anything. It’s just cool. I’m just glad it’s like that. Even when I do stupid shit, like eat three bags of pixie sticks. But instead of rolling your eyes and making me feel like an immature kid, you join right in and down them right along with me. So, yeah, just, thank you.” He turned again, pressing his lips against JC’s jaw, letting them linger for a moment, fingers running over JC’s hand, not quite holding it, but close. And JC smiled. Yes, Justin was young, but he wouldn’t change what they had between them right now for anything.

“I’ll always be a part of your life, J. No matter what happens.” And he felt Justin nod against his shoulder, heard him mumble his agreement softly as his eyes slipped shut, sleep coming up to meet him.

*****

H is for Hangman

"Okay, T," Justin murmured as he looked over the hangman board JC had set up. JC's smile grew however with his guess of the letter and he quickly wrote the letter with the other rejects and drew a finger on the drawn hand. "Just, I lost, so tell me what it is."

"C'mon," JC urged as he looked over to the seventeen year old. "It's so easy."

"Fine," Justin looked down to the three word puzzle and let his forehead crease with thought. "No A's, so um… I"

"See!" JC exclaimed filling in one of the slots in the last word with the letter. "You're a pro at this."

"I hate hangman," Justin sighed as he leaned back into his seat. "We've been playing it all fucking afternoon on this damn bus."

"You knew driving from California to Seattle was stupid," JC reminded then smiled up to him. "You were even stupider for not bringing your CD player on here."

"You're stupid," Justin replied quickly but with a smile as he snatched the puzzle from JC and looked over it with a curse. "I don't know this."

"So guess another letter," JC said as he snatched the paper away and laid it flat on the table between them. "There aren't any more vowels either."

"Then what about that middle word, you just have the M, and if there aren't any," Justin paused as his mouth formed an o shape. "Give me a Y."

"Yes sir," JC replied then bit his lip as he filled in the Y.

"Blank my blank," Justin read softly as he let his concentration fall entirely on the word puzzle. A small smirk appeared on his face as he looked to JC before back to the paper. "Is there a D in the puzzle?"

"I don't know," JC laughed as he filled in the letter in the proper place and Justin sat up straighter. When JC didn't hear any words past his lips he looked up slowly and matched Justin's grin.

"Suck my dick," Justin finally said and JC looked down at the paper and filled the correct letters in their place. "I was right. Suck my dick."

"Not until you're eighteen," JC replied quickly before standing up and stretching as Justin's mouth opened in objection. "I'm done with hangman, time for a nap."

He watched JC walk away with a smirk and Justin looked back to the paper filled with hangman games. "Suck my dick," he murmured under his breath as he pushed himself out of the booth seat. He slipped the paper into his pocket and told himself not to throw it away.

*****

I is for Ice Cream

They weren't sure how it started. They couldn't think of how it would end. Their thoughts trailed away like the vanilla ice cream down JC's naked torso. He lay flat on the bed, completely naked, with Justin over him, straddling him with a hunger in his eyes that JC knew couldn't have come just from the ice cream. Rocky Road, placed as a clump on his right nipple, teasing him then, now nothing more but a small puddle of chocolate, leftovers from Justin's tongue. Mint Chocolate Chip teased JC's lips, every gasp he let out, the ice cream tinting his tongue with its taste.

Justin looked over JC with a smile as his spoon paused in the carton of strawberry ice cream. He looked down to it, scooping a large portion out of it and he let go of the carton, dismissing the mess it would add to the bed sheets. His now empty hand accepted the scoopful of pink ice cream before he licked his lips and looked up to JC.

"Where's that going to go?" JC's last word came out as a moan when Justin placed the back of the cold spoon on JC's left nipple. His back arched up with a hiss, the spoon falling aside but the ice cream still left in its place. His eyes still held onto the ice cream clump that was steadily melting in Justin's other hand though. "Your…your hand."

Justin licked his lips, looking down over his boyfriend's covered body. Ice cream melted now, marks of his tongue's trails, his lip’s puckers, and his finger’s teasing. JC's question of where the handful of strawberry ice cream would go was answered. On his stomach.

"Your little hairs," Justin whispered as he watched the ice cream start its descent down JC's body with each of his trembles. JC's quick breaths matched and Justin looked up to his face for a quick moment, noting the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks, before he looked down to the almost equally pink ice cream. "You look delicious."

"Taste me," JC moaned as a trail of the dessert found itself around his erection. Justin didn't have to be told twice and he brought his finger down, trailing it and controlling the intact clump of ice cream, before pushing it lower down JC's body. Curses filled the room through JC's lips and Justin smiled at how the almost curse free man out of the bedroom seemed to forget all about his censorship while laying on his back in front of him.

Justin's hand, coated with the melted ice cream, moved to JC's hardness before wrapping around it and moving up and down. JC's head pushed back into the pillow, his mouth widening as more Mint Chocolate Chip slid into his mouth. Justin's hand continued the movement against JC, noting every motion was followed by an equally quick breath exuding itself from JC.

He continued the pace as he moved down slightly and when JC looked up a moment after, noting the movement gone, he wished he hadn't. Justin's smile of anticipation, the smudges of ice cream on his face still, then the desire his eyes took when he looked to JC's erection, it all met JC and his eyes flickered closed for a moment before opening in slits. Justin kissed the top of his dick, coated in the ice cream, the teasing coldness being replaced with warmth when he felt Justin's mouth completely surround him.

JC couldn't understand the words past his mouth; he just turned his head away quickly. Cartons of ice cream around them, each flavor in front of him would remind JC of each of his body parts later, each of Justin's kisses and flicks of his tongue, but now with Justin moving up and down his strawberry flavored erection, his concentration was bounded with haze.

JC's hands let go of the sheets he was squeezing before running through Justin's hair. His hair matted in clumps as JC ran his hands through it, from the stickiness of his own fingers. Justin's movements, up and down, slow and then fast on its downward capture, was felt with JC's fingertips and every sensation Justin elicited with his tongue. A slight pucker noise was made when Justin released JC and he smiled quickly to JC who was looking at him as if he were in the middle of a cloud.

"You taste good," he whispered before looking back down and returning to the action that had JC lost in feelings.

JC's hips started rocking with each of Justin's actions as he felt himself growing, felt his dam starting to build with every movement. Justin moved as if he felt it, felt JC starting to lose his control, his restraint, and he hurried the pace more. JC's small Mint Chocolate Chip moans filled the room and his fingers tightened in Justin's hair as he came out into Justin who was readily accepting the new taste JC was feeding him. He continued the actions down JC, before pulling completely away after his last swallow and he looked up again to his boyfriend. His boyfriend, whose lips seemed to be throbbing, with his cheeks matching the redness of those lips, to his eyes that were clenched shut one moment then opened to show the deep, dark blue, then clenched shut again.

"I love you," Justin whispered as he moved to lie beside JC. JC nodded his head repeating the words to Justin and they shared a small smile as JC's breath tried evening out. Justin brought his hand up to JC's stomach, to his chest, creating small circles of comfortable movements. JC shut his eyes gently before letting out a large breath with a small laugh following. Justin started laughing with him before kissing JC's lips simply. The taste of the two ice creams and the taste of JC meshed together and Justin let out a small groan of pleasure before pulling away slowly and looking over his boyfriend's content face.

JC was his dish and ultimately, his feast.

*****

J is for Je Vous Aime

JC slid up behind Justin, wrapping his arms around Justin's thin waist and nuzzling his nose into the back of Justin's neck. Justin felt the words against his skin before he heard them.

Vous faites me sent des choses que je n'ai jamais le feutre avant

Justin sighed, pressing back into JC. JC had decided that in his spare time, though Justin wasn't really sure when they had spare time, considering they were right in the middle of the Pop Odyssey tour, the biggest tour they'd ever done, that he was going to learn French. His reasoning was that it was a part of him, part of who he was. And he wanted to learn the language. Justin didn't mind, particularly. It hadn't interfered with anything they had to do as a group, and it hadn't even interfered with the alone time they spent with each other. And he really loved the way the words sounded when JC whispered them against his ear, his neck, his chest.

The problem was, he had no fucking clue what JC was saying to him. He was sure that it was something romantic. That was just how JC was. And although the sentiment was nice, he still didn't have any idea what the words meant.

But he loved JC, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. So instead of telling JC that, ruining the soft French words that slid across his skin, he just turned in JC's arms, smiling at him.

Vous me complétez

JC looked up at him from under his eyelashes, eyes burning into Justin's soul.

Je vous aime

And Justin didn't know French, couldn't even pretend to be fluent in the language. But he knew what that meant. I love you. Smiling, he leaned down, pressing his lips against JC's, his own words floating across JC's lips.

Mon amour - My love

The smile JC sent him was worth withholding the fact that it bothered him that he had no idea what JC whispered to him in a foreign language. It was, after all, one of the romance languages. And that was good enough for Justin.

*****

K is for Key

“I have something for you,” Justin said, fingers running lightly through JC’s hair, JC’s head resting on his lap. The rain continued to pound outside, lightning flashing occasionally, lighting up the dark room for a moment before fading away.

They’d spent the afternoon at Joey’s. He’d decided a barbeque was in order, until it had been rained out, forcing them all inside. Now, hours later, the rain was still coming down strong and the two of them were back at JC’s house, cuddling on the couch.

“A present?” JC asked, lifting his head slightly before dropping it back down. In the flash of lightening, Justin could see JC’s eyes lit up, shinning brightly. He nodded and moved, JC sitting up as Justin climbed off the couch. His bag was across the room and JC watched him shift through it for a few minutes before dropped the bag back to the ground, a small wrapped gift in his hands.

JC looked up at him as Justin handed it to him.

“It’s not my birthday.” JC said, watching as Justin shook his head. “And it’s not Christmas.” Justin shook his head again, fingers sliding softly along JC’s thigh. “Then why am I getting a present?”

“Because I love you,” Justin said, leaning in to press his lips to JC’s for a moment. He pulled back slightly, still only inches away from JC’s face. Their eyes locked and Justin smiled tenderly. “Open it.”

JC opened presents like it was the most precious thing in the world. He lifted each piece of tape, unfolding the paper as he went before pulling it back to reveal the gift. And then, before he let himself really look at it, he moved the paper way and folded it neatly. Justin never understood how he could open presents like that. The best way was just to tear into them, ripping the paper away until it was just a pile of shredded mess.

JC pulled the lid off the small box, made originally for jewelry, and moved the tissue paper aside. There, nestled inside the folds of tissue paper, was a small gold key. His questioning eyes met Justin’s.

“What’s it for?”

“I bought a house. In LA. I’ve been wanting to for awhile, and I finally found one I liked. I think you’ll really like it to. It’s for the house.” Justin took a deep breath before continuing. They all had keys to each other’s houses. But this was different. He wasn’t just giving JC a key in case of an emergency, or in case he showed up and Justin wasn’t there. “I was thinking that, if, you know, you wanted to.” A soft smile reached JC’s face. He knew, without Justin saying it, what Justin was trying to say. “I love you, Jace. And I want to be with you, as often as possible. I’d love for it to be our house.”

JC’s eyes left Justin’s face, scanning the table in front of them. His own set of keys was laying there where he’d dropped them after they’d gotten back from Joey’s. Reaching his hand out, he picked them up and slid the new key onto the ring.

“Yes, Justin. I’ll move in with you.”

*****

L is for Little Things

It was the third night they were in Germany, Justin's first time out of America, and the third time JC brought him an extra pillow before he went to sleep. Justin smiled before JC mirrored his grin then walked away slowly. When the next day JC brought him a bag of American candy he had found from a store in the airport, Justin smiled with him as they shared it. The way JC would remind him of a funny story from a few years ago when they were doing the Mickey Mouse Club whenever Justin would seem to be sad or homesick; Justin smiled with him and got his mind off of missing his mom. When JC had called Justin's mom when he was in the bathroom so when he came out JC just held the phone up for him as a surprise to talk to his mother.

Little things JC did to remind him of home, little things he did to make sure Justin wasn't missing anything or being too sad or uncomfortable. Slowly Justin remembered to do these things himself and JC just smiled at him as a maturing friend which made Justin's own smile grow larger and his confidence growing.

"Thanks for the pillow," Justin had whispered a couple weeks after their first days in Germany as JC still continued to bring him an extra pillow each night. He left the pillow giving routine the same as he had taken on most of the little things that JC had originally done for him. JC just nodded slowly and reminded him they were going to Valencia the next day and Justin let his eyes scan JC's body before smiling back up. JC just shook his head as he walked away, adjusting to the miniscule flirting Justin was trying to perfect, even if at times he was still blatantly obvious. Justin crossed his arms over the pillow as he watched JC walk away and he smiled. JC would never give up the little things with him and that in part took a large part of Justin's heart. Little things were never little.

*****

M is for Madison Square Garden

Their stares that interlocked were growing longer, their touches that barely skimmed the other felt heavier, their quick changes between songs seemed to go by slower. JC swallowed the gulp of water in his water bottle when he watched Justin talk to Chris across the stage. He let out a deep breath after the swallow, letting his gaze travel around the empty seats. They were sound checking for the concert later that night, which would be broadcasted across the nation, live. A full concert.

"Hey," Joey mumbled sitting beside him and the treadmills in front of them started moving. They looked at each other before smiling as Lance who had been standing on the treadmills when they were stationary, now tripped off of them with a curse that echoed throughout the arena.

"That'll make your mom proud," Justin laughed over to him and Lance only flicked him off before finding his way back onto it. He rolled away from Joey and JC to get closer to the other band members.

"You like him," Joey commented and JC shrugged.

"Lance is alright," he replied knowing Joey didn't mean him.

"You like Justin."

"Yeah," this time JC answered as he nodded his head still looking at Justin now laughing with Chris with Lance in front of them.

"He's eighteen."

"I know this."

"Go for it."

"I plan on it," JC muttered as he pushed himself off of the seat and walked to the center of the stage. Joey caught Chris's gaze and they both exchanged a small nod before Joey stood up to join JC again. Joey sat beside JC on the edge of the stage, their legs dangling over, and he let out a sigh when he looked at JC watching Justin being ushered backstage with Chris's arm around him

"Wonder where they're going," Joey murmured and JC turned forward slowly. "Probably to get new measurements for the clothes."

"What new measurements?" JC asked as he quickly looked back up to Joey.

"The measurements we had to do for tonight's clothes," Joey replied with his eyes widening. "Shit JC, you didn't get it done? You're going to fuck all of us up, on live television too."

"Shit," he said quickly, pushing himself up. "Where do I go?"

"The covered dressing room," he replied and JC was already turned around and walking past Lance who was still having fun going back and forth on the treadmills. He locked eyes with Joey when JC had turned backstage.

"It's about time." Joey nodded when the curtain closed swiftly behind JC. JC turned a quick right, cursing under his breath, and he pulled open the black curtain that was around the private changing room. He almost let out a shout of surprise when he saw Justin looking at him confused.

"I'm supposed to get measured," JC replied and Justin hopped off the small ledge he was sitting on.

"Me too," Justin shrugged with his reply. "I apparently missed the memo, although I don't see how."

"I don't either," JC sighed out as he stepped into the small cramped area, the black curtain shutting them away into privacy. They were barely a foot apart and could feel the nerves of the other and when they looked up they shared an equally shy smile.

"Tonight will be scary," Justin said slowly and JC matched his gaze.

"You'll pull it off," JC reassured and Justin leaned forward and quickly hugged him. JC's hands spread wide with confusion before he wrapped his arms around Justin and carefully rubbed his back. "You have nothing to worry about."

"I do," Justin whispered as he pulled his head back slowly. They locked eyes and JC's widened when he could feel Justin's hands slide through his hair. "I'm more worried that you won't make a move on me already than I am about this show."

JC looked down to Justin's lips quickly, never really good at holding eye contact. Justin's tongue darted out and he wanted to curse himself for being this nervous, but maybe it was fear of the unknowing. Everything would change, and he looked up meeting Justin's eyes. Justin could read him like a book and he could read Justin like one as well and somehow with just small nods, quick smiles, things changed.

JC leaned forward and sealed his lips over Justin's, pushing his hands against Justin harder. Justin let out the first noise, a small moan, and his eyes shut quickly when he could feel JC's tongue seeking entrance. His mouth widened, feeling like he should cry, when the warmth of JC's lips, embrace, shot through his body. How he wanted this.

Justin dug his fingers into JC's scalp, pushing him closer and the kiss of slow pace turned faster as JC pushed Justin against the small ledge. They held this urge in for months, years maybe, and they wanted it all now. JC pulled away slightly only to plunge his lips against Justin's harder. Their lips were bruising but that seemed to only propel them to go faster. When Justin's tongue scraped against JC's lips and the first moan passed those lips, Justin pulled away quickly. His shaky breath met JC's, the bright pink both of their lips had become met each of their gazes and they shared a small smile.

"I wanted this," Justin breathed out and JC nodded as well before leaning forward and kissing Justin softly. Justin's eyes shut gently at the contact but when JC pulled away he kept them closed. "When I open my eyes, be here. Don't let this be a dream."

He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw JC standing before him with his own grin. "I'm still here."

*****

N is for Needles

JC was pacing back and forth around the room, hands clenching and unclenching in front of him. Justin regarded him, a smile reaching his lips.

“Baby, calm down. You’re not even the one getting the shot here.” JC turned to Justin, regarding him silently for a moment.

“So what? You are. And I have to watch that needle go into your skin. A needle, Justin, a fucking needle.” Justin could see him trembling lightly and he moved quickly toward him, pulling him into his arms. “I hate needles.” Justin could hear the pout in his voice and he smiled against JC’s shoulder.

“I know you do. But I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Stupid shots. Why do you have to get shots?”

“I’m going to Europe, Jace. To tour. It’s part of the physical. They need to make sure I’m current on all my vaccinations. We’ve done this before every tour we’ve ever done. You know what it’s like.” The doctor opened the door before JC could reply and Justin sighed in relief as he pulled away from JC. As much as he loved the man, he hated that he had come with him. Justin didn’t have a problem with needles, didn’t have a problem getting shots. But with JC there, he was starting to get a little jumpy. But JC had wanted to come, for support, he’d claimed. Justin had taken one look at his hopeful face and there was no way he could have said no.

“Ok, Mr. Timberlake. You know the drill, right?” Justin nodded to the doctor then looked up at JC. His hands were clenched together, eyes darting from Justin to the doctor. The apprehension was apparent on his face. If Justin didn’t know any better, he’d swear JC had to sit down and get some shots of his own right after Justin was done.

A nurse came in, wheeling a cart full of rubbing alcohol, cotton swabs, band aids, bottles of the vaccinations, and there, right in the middle, a big needle.

She moved to the side of the bed Justin was sitting on and began preparing the shot while the doctor rubbed alcohol on his arm. Justin could see JC’s eyes, focused and unwavering on the needle as the nurse filled it with the vaccination. She handed it to the doctor who turned to Justin, moving the needle toward his arm.

JC hit the ground before it even came close to contact.

When he woke up ten minutes later, he and Justin were alone in the room, Justin sitting in the chair and JC was laying on the bed Justin had previously been sitting on.

“What happened?”

“You passed out. Saw the needle and bam. Hit the ground.” Justin smacked his hands together, simulating the sound. JC’s eyes closed again and he groaned.

“My head hurts.”

“I can imagine it would. You hit it pretty hard.” JC raised a hand, attempting to touch his head, but when he came in contact with a large cloth bandage, wrapped around his head, he pulled back quickly.

“My head is all wrapped up. Justin, why is my head all wrapped up?” Justin ducked slightly, hiding the smile. It really wasn’t funny, JC was hurt. But at the same time, he’d fainted watching Justin get a shot. No, wait, he’d fainted watching a needle come toward Justin’s arm.

“You were bleeding. You hit your head on the corner of the chair.” Justin got up and moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down so he was facing JC. JC’s eyes closed again as Justin’s hand came out, smoothing his hair away from his forehead and pressing a soft kiss to it.

“I can’t believe I passed out.” JC sighed, angry at himself. “This is stupid. I’m 26 years old. I should be able to watch you get a shot. But it’s like this serious anxiety just hits me, and I panic.”

“It’s ok, Jace. I understand. It’s a real fear. I get it.” Justin smiled and leaned in closer to JC. “At least you can enter a room if you spot a spider in it. I just stand there in the doorway waiting for you to come kill it.” His plan worked. A soft smile lit up JC’s face. And Justin didn’t mind pointing out his own phobia to make JC feel better.

“I don’t think I can be here when they actually do the shots, J. I’m sorry.”

“They already did them.” JC looked up at him, shock written on his face.

“They already did them?” Justin nodded in confirmation. “I’m passed out, laying there bleeding on the floor, and they just say oh well, we’ll deal with the wimp in a minute, let’s get these shots done?” JC’s eyebrows furrowed together as Justin’s head fell back in laughter.

“It wasn’t quite like that,” he promised, leaning in to press a kiss to JC’s lips. “They used the word pussy instead of wimp.” And with the look JC sent him, all Justin could do was start laughing once again.

*****

O is for Orange

Justin winked over to JC across the bus table as he placed the orange on top of the napkin. JC looked up slowly from the fruit and up to Justin who was just smiling at him largely. Cuts were made already on the skin of the orange and Justin's fingers worked on it as he peeled it slowly.

"Don't even think that I would care," JC said slowly and Justin paused as he reached the last piece. He just shook his head.

"I'd never," he replied as he separated the peels from the actual edible part. His finger poked a hole in the top, separating the orange in two half sections and JC looked down to it as he licked his lips involuntary. "I'm not sharing so don't think that."

"I'd never," JC countered as he looked back up to Justin who only shook his head. The game of flirtation was continuing and the seventeen year old looked up to JC with wide eyes. The first piece, a small section came up to his lips and when JC finally moved his gaze from Justin's eyes to his lips, Justin took a bite. JC could feel a spec of the juice hit his lip and he licked it slowly as he watched Justin slowly savor the piece.

"Mmm," Justin whispered out as he made it a showing to stick his tongue out and lick his lips, only seeming to create more of a moist mess than what was on it originally. "So juicy, so tasty."

"I can imagine," JC rasped out and cleared his throat when he hadn't realized how dry his throat was getting.

"Can you?" Justin asked as he separated another piece, his eyes back again locked with JC's. "I can't even begin to think what your imagination is filled with. What images, what sounds and smells, what fantasies."

"None involving you," JC countered and he knew they both didn't believe that.

"That's a shame," Justin replied as he let his mouth drop open afterwards. His lips closed halfway over the piece, the other half of the orange slice sticking out and he let out a small slurping noise when he sucked the rest into his mouth and began to chew.

JC gulped and looked down quickly to the other slices, counting them. Nine more sections to go, nine different ways, different things Justin could do to the orange and JC couldn't think of how he was going to last nine more seconds sitting across from his friend before slamming him against the table and devouring him like Justin was taking pleasure in that orange.

"JC would you like an orange slice?" Justin asked, disrupting him, and he looked up to see one of the sections in Justin's fingers being guided over his lips slowly. JC blinked a few times before Justin nibbled on the end of it, barely. The juice of the fruit rolled over his fingers when he pulled it away and before JC could say anything more, make any moan, Justin's tongue darted out and flicked at the open edge. More juice seemed to end up on the table than his tongue but they both never voiced objections. Justin's eyes fluttered slightly before he opened them again, focusing on an empty seat.

"JC?" Justin asked as he looked around the bus from his seat. Chris just passed him before taking the new empty seat.

"He went to the bathroom," Chris yawned out before taking an orange slice and putting it in his mouth. "Can I have an orange slice?"

"Way to ask after you ate it already," Justin sighed out as he placed the rest of his slice into his mouth. He turned his head to look at the bathroom and smiled knowing exactly what JC was doing, or at least what he hoped JC was doing.

*****

P is for Pot

Hopping out of the car, saying goodbye to Trace and their older friend Jimmy, who didn't mind their annoying fourteen selves, was something Justin had grown used to in his summer. His summer before hell and joining the rest of the other kids he had grown up with. Kids he had always been bored around, and now coming back from finishing Mickey Mouse Club in Orlando, a fresh exciting place, he had now been surrounded with everything that bored him. Normalcy.

His steps were sluggish but his smile was on his face from the last joke that Trace had cracked right before he got out. It wasn't that funny but in his drug high that he was in from the pot Jimmy had given them, it could have been an obituary he read and Justin still would have laughed. His smile, if at all possible, grew when he saw the recognizable person sitting on the swinging chair on his front porch.

"JC!" Justin said loudly when he hurried his pace and JC smiled as well as he took a few steps forward. His eyes creased slightly with Justin's almost frantic smile as he approached as well. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just visiting for a week, it was your mom's idea. Before I go back to Maryland," he answered slowly with Justin's smile still large, nodding after every other word JC said.

"You're supposed to be in California becoming a huge star and forgetting me!" Justin laughed out before hugging JC. His eyes shut and he squeezed the older friend tighter before pulling back. "What are you doing here?"

"Surprising you," JC let out a laugh, but inhaling when Justin still held on to him. That familiar scent surrounding Justin and his body tensed. "Justin."

"JC," Justin practically giggled out as he pulled away.

"Are you high?"

"No," Justin said with his cheeks blushing slightly and looking down. He started walking around JC so he could get into his house. His house with Doritos and Cheetohs, oh, Justin licked his lips, and French onion dip too. Maybe he had Pringles too, and pickles! JC stepping in front of him distracted him and he laughed when JC's hands each went to his arms.

"Why are you smoking?"

"I'm not," Justin answered shaking his head, his eyes widening as well. "I'm trying to get into my house though but you're stopping me."

"Why are you smoking pot? What happened?" JC asked quickly and Justin's face turned into a scowl before he released himself from JC's soft grasp.

"Be quiet, you're going to wake my mom up with talking so loud."

"She's in Nashville visiting your uncle," JC said quickly.

"Oh yeah." He forgot about that. He shook his head, a quick smile almost coming on his face when he felt the warmth hit his cheeks with the fast shakes. Now he knew what his dog felt like coming outside first thing in the summer morning. He wished he was a dog sometimes.

"Justin," JC snapped him back to attention and he glared at JC for taking him away from his image of himself chasing his tail. Well maybe not a real tail, but wouldn't it be cool to have a tail. He could hit people with it, and right now he wanted to hit JC with it so he could pass into his house.

"Let's go inside," Justin whined and watched JC look him over. A drop of guilt fell in his stomach from how JC was looking at him strangely and he walked by quickly to get away from it. JC just followed though, letting out noises of disappointment and he felt like almost cursing at JC, something he hadn't ever done. He wasn't going to ruin his high. Maybe he was jealous. He stopped quickly, JC stopping as well behind him and he turned around, his face spreading into amusement. "You want some pot too?"

"No," JC grimaced and Justin's face dropped in disappointment. JC still remained looking at him, almost in disgust it felt, and Justin turned around quickly as he entered his house. Thoughts of locking himself in his room got lost in the old thoughts of Pringles and he licked his lips walking quickly to the kitchen with JC still on his tail. Justin laughed lightly.

"Tail," he said out lightly and he opened the cabinet the chips were stored in.

"I can't believe you're high," JC shook his head. "Who the hell are you?"

Justin turned to him, with a couple bags of chips in his hands and dropping them on the table. He looked at JC somberly before turning to the refrigerator and opening it. After JC rejected his offer of a soda, he took one out for him along with the dip. JC was waiting for him at the kitchen table, and he wanted to tell JC if he was going to have a bad attitude, he should just leave, but he remembered how JC was and how with saying that, JC would have made it a point to be a shadow to him for the rest of the night.

Justin took the seat across from him, sneaking glances up to JC, whose stare remained still on him. Occasionally he would shake his head and Justin scooped dip onto the chip before putting it into his mouth.

"What happened? Before I went to California you're some squeaky clean, happy kid. And now you're happy when you're high."

"I'm happy not high," Justin answered, his voice muffled as he stuffed more food into his mouth. Oh man, he forgot to check the fridge for pickles. Damn. "Can you get me the pickles?"

"Get them yourself."

"Too far," Justin pleaded but JC just shook his head. "You suck."

"At least I'm not high," JC commented, reaching forward and taking a chip. Justin objected of course but JC chewed on it happily. "I'm telling your mom."

"What?" Justin choked on his soda. "Why?"

"Cause smoking pot isn't good," JC said quickly. "How long have you been doing this?"

"Hell if I tell you. You'll just tell my mom," Justin muttered. "Fucking tattletale. Go away."

"Why are you smoking pot?" JC asked, more sternly and Justin shrank back into his seat feeling like he was being berated from his dad. But to him this was much worse, it was his friend now.

"You've smoked pot before," Justin countered but JC shook his head.

"Don't reflect this onto me," JC answered and Justin pouted slightly as he pushed the chips away from him and then crossed his arms over his chest. "You know how bad it is, how stupid it makes people."

"I'm not stupid."

"I know," JC sighed, trying to find his words. "But smoking pot is stupid."

"Same thing."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No it's," JC paused, before letting out a deep breath and shutting his eyes. "You still drive me crazy."

"Good."

JC opened his mouth to reply but he shut his mouth when he saw Justin smiling proudly over to him. "I'm still telling your mom."

"No!" Justin yelled and JC's eyes widened in mock surprise. "I don't even smoke that much. It's Jimmy," Justin rushed out and JC sat back knowing when Justin started an explanation to get him out of trouble, he didn't stop until everything could be told, and honestly. "Jimmy brought pot to me and Trace and Trace did it and I didn't want to, I swear but they were looking at me and I did it and it didn't work. So I did it later in the night on the roof and it was really good, and we laughed so hard and I mean."

He paused as JC looked over him now with almost neutral eyes, gone was the sternness.

"I didn't want to at first, JC," Justin said out quietly. "They were both high though after one time, and I wasn't, and they looked really happy. I'm just so bored here, there's nothing to do, so at least being high and doing stuff makes up for it."

"How long have you been doing it?" JC watched Justin mumble something and he leaned forward. "How long?"

"A month I guess," Justin said softer but JC anticipating the quietness had heard him clearly. He let out a deep breath and sat back in his seat too as Justin looked up to him, eyes wide. His high was completely gone, the food in front of him teasing him almost. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"What are you drinking now too?"

"No," Justin said out loudly and apologized again when it came out louder than he anticipated. "It's just pot."

"You're fourteen," JC sighed as he looked over his friend. "It might be boring here but Justin, don't fuck your health up just because of that."

"But-"

"How would you feel if I told you I liked to smoke pot because I was bored," JC countered and Justin opened his mouth but closed it when he thought about it.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Good," JC said simply and Justin blinked slowly at him, eyes wider now and almost puppy dog like. "You have some Tylenol or something?"

"In the bathroom over there," Justin pointed over his shoulder. JC stood up, walking out of the room in the direction Justin told him and patted Justin's shoulder as he passed. Justin let out a deep breath, almost crying but his eyes couldn't feel tears, they were bloodshot and he could feel it. He pushed the dip away from him, hitting the centerpiece his mother had always insisted on having on the table. Remembering her and JC's threats, his stomach rolled and he watched JC walk by him. Two tablets were put in front of him and he took them with the soda as JC watched him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry to me," JC replied as he took the seat next to Justin now. "I'm worried about you."

"Are you disappointed?" Justin asked slowly, picking at the table cloth and JC's hand reached out, covering his. He looked up to JC slowly.

"I'm just worried, not disappointed."

"Are you sure?"

"We all do stuff we aren't proud of," JC said out as he squeezed Justin's hand. "I just, I guess it's my job as your friend, that if you are doing stuff that isn't, well, ideal for you… then I have to stand up."

"God," Justin sighed as he released his grasp from JC's hand and brought his elbows up onto the table. His hands fisted, rubbing his eyes and then soon laid his palms flat on his forehead. He studied the table as JC's hand went to rub his back. "Did you ever smoke pot?"

"Yeah." JC nodded as his hand moved small circles over Justin. "Then my mom found out and told my dad and well, my dad basically knocked some sense into me."

"He hit you?" Justin looked up quickly and JC smiled slightly, shaking his head.

"Knocked some information into me is better put," JC laughed lightly. "He gave me all these facts and numbers and stuff like that. I don't have it memorized to tell you, but it scared the crap out of me."

"Are you going to tell my mom?"

"I," JC paused looking down for a moment before matching Justin's wide eyed stare again. "I won't tell her if you stop smoking okay?"

And Justin smiled, leaning forward and kissing JC's lips quickly that shocked him to the point that when Justin was running out of the room, telling him to meet him in the living room to play on his Sega system, JC was still staring blankly at the Doritos.

*****

Q is for Quixotic

JC pulled into Justin’s long, private driveway and turned his car off, sighing before climbing out. The flowers delivered to his house today had been the breaking point and he needed to talk to Justin about it.

Stepping through the front door, he called out to Justin. The response he got came from the kitchen and JC followed the sound of Justin’s voice, finding him sitting on one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter, talking on his cell phone. JC leaned down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, receiving a smile in response.

“JC just got here, so I’ll talk to you later. Love you, mom.” Justin snapped his cell phone shut and turned to JC, who was bending down in the refrigerator to grab a soda, pulling one out for Justin as well. “Did you get my flowers?”

JC sighed, shoulders slumping forward slightly before he stood again, turning to hand the can to Justin before taking a seat across from him.

“I did. That’s why I’m here actually. We need to talk.” Justin’s eyes met JC’s, looking at JC with a mixture of worry and sadness. JC hated that he’d been the one to put that look there. But this needed to be said.

“You didn’t like them?” He looked hurt now, and had this been any other kind of situation, JC would have smiled at the fact that he could read Justin’s eyes so well, know exactly what he was feeling. But this wasn’t the time to smile about something like that.

“It’s not that I didn’t like them, exactly.” He sighed again, rubbing a hand across his forehead. “It’s just that it’s the third arrangement I’ve received this week. You’re being quixotic.” He could tell by the blank look on Justin’s face that he had no idea what that meant. “You’re taking it to an extreme, Justin. It’s all just a bit much.” JC reached a hand across the counter, letting his fingers link with Justin’s.

“I don’t get it, Jace. I thought you liked romance.”

“I do. But that’s not romance. Romance is seeing a Miles Davis album that you know I don’t own and buying it for me, just because you know I’ll like it. Romance is calling me in the morning before we have a meeting, just to make sure I’m up. Romance is knowing exactly how I take my coffee, and getting it right every time.” JC smiled slightly, meeting Justin’s eyes.

“But I wasn’t trying to be romantic then. You mean that impressed you?” JC nodded, letting his thumb rub lightly across Justin’s wrist.

“It’s when you aren’t trying that it means the most. The constant flowers and trying to take me out to expensive restaurants doesn’t impress me, Justin. That’s just trying to woo me with your money. I know how much money you have. I get paid the same amount you do. I don’t want your money. To me, it’s the little things, the things that you don’t have to think about and plan, that mean the most. That’s when I know it comes from your heart, when I know it’s real. I know you, inside and out. I don’t have some distorted vision of you that you have to play up to.” He leaned forward across the counter, pressing a soft kiss to Justin’s lips. “I’m in love with you for who you are, not what you have.” The words were out of JC’s mouth before he even thought about it, and he paused, eyes looking up to meet Justin’s. The shock was apparent on Justin’s face.

“Did you just? Jace?”

“Yes, Justin. I said I’m in love with you.” He cursed quietly, under his breath. “I didn’t mean for that to just slip out.”

“Did you mean it?” Justin asked, eyes sliding down to rest on the counter before moving back up to meet JC’s. Justin’s eyes were wide with wonder, with question.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. I just don’t want to scare you off. I’m sorry.” Justin climbed off his stool, making his way around to JC, sliding JC’s thighs apart to rest between them, wrapping his arms around JC’s neck.

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for loving me. I love you too.” His lips slid over JC’s, tongue darting out to lick across JC’s lips slowly. He was glad it had slipped out, glad JC hadn’t meant to say it. That was how Justin knew it was real, knew that JC meant it.

“I love you with every piece of my soul. I love you more than I ever thought was possible.” JC’s arms slipped around Justin’s waist, his head sliding to Justin’s shoulder, nuzzling softly against Justin’s neck. Justin could feel JC’s even breath, sliding across his skin, warming him with just a touch.

“Mmm, now that’s romantic.”

*****

R is for Recording

Justin opened the door and slipped back inside the room, kicking it closed behind him. JC turned at the sound of the door closing and smiled at Justin, taking the cup of coffee Justin offered him before turning back to the soundboard in front of him.

It was late, well after midnight, but JC had an idea for one of the songs they'd laid down the vocals for this afternoon, and he wouldn't be content to leave until he got the idea out. And Justin was more than content to wait with him, help him out, and just spend time alone with the man he loved.

Letting his hand run up JC's back to his neck, Justin squeezed gently before leaning down, resting his chin on the top of JC's head, looking at the soundboard in front of them.

"Figure it out yet?"

"I think I've got something," JC said, spinning the chair he was sitting in around and grabbing Justin's hips, pulling him between his legs, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his covered stomach. "I just want you to listen to it, let me know what you think." His voice was muffled against the cotton of Justin's tee shirt.

"Hit me with it," Justin said, fingers sifting through JC's hair. He was growing it out and Justin loved it, loved being able to run his hands through the length, loved holding it, fingers twisting in it when JC went down on him, loved the feel of the silky locks sliding along his chest when JC laid against him. Justin pulled back so JC could turn around again, pressing a few buttons on the soundboard.

"The Two Of Us" filtered through the speakers and Justin sat down on JC's lap, listening intently as JC's arms wrapped around his waist. Justin's head started moving, leg bouncing to the beat, and JC knew he wasn't even aware he was doing it. He found it adorable. He'd told Justin once. Justin hadn't known what he was talking about. It was like he got caught up in the music and it was a natural reaction, completely unconscious. JC'd written this song with the two of them in mind, and Justin had loved it from the moment JC had shown it to him, knowing immediately it was for them.

When the song had played through, JC reached around Justin and pressed another button, stopping the playback, then waited patiently for Justin to give his opinion.

"I think it's perfect. You can definitely tell you changed it from earlier, but it sounds better now." Justin twisted in his seat, pressing his lips against JC's. "You're awesome, Jace." The blush rushed up JC's cheeks, tinting his skin a light red. He was confident in his music, and received compliments well from everyone else in the world, but there was just something different about them when they came from Justin. With Justin, he knew it was real. Justin was the only person in the entire world, aside from his parents, that would tell him the absolute truth. There were no omissions, no half-truths, no sugar coating it to make JC feel better. If it sucked, Justin told him so. Not in those exact words, but the point was made. And if it was good, great, exceptional, Justin told him that as well. They'd been friends for years and knew they could, and would be completely honest with each other.

So now, hearing the compliment, it meant a lot. More than even if it had come from Chris, Joey, or Lance. It made it that much more special inside, knowing Justin truly meant every word he said.

"Are you blushing?" The soft smile that hit Justin's lips made JC duck his head, fingers playing with the hem of Justin's shirt. "You are. Jace, did I embarrass you?" JC shook his head, eyes moving up to meet Justin's.

"I love you." He leaned in to press his lips against Justin, but Justin pulled back.

"Wait a minute. I'm not letting this go that easily. Did I really just make you, Mr. Confident, blush outside of the bedroom?" Justin teased, fingertips running over the slight redness that still remained on JC's cheeks. "Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned. Hmm, paybacks for all the teasing comments you use to whisper in my ear back in Germany when I was resting against you. Paybacks for the blush that seemed to be a permanent fixture on my face back then." JC leaned forward, burying his face against Justin's shoulder. He was embarrassed and Justin wasn't making it any better.

"It's just that, the comments mean a lot. I know that they're true."

"Baby, they are true. But that doesn't mean you have to be embarrassed by it." Justin pulled back slightly, leaning back from JC looking down at him from a weird angle. "It's cute though. And a nice change. It's not me this time." JC moved his hands from around Justin's waist and Justin tumbled to the ground, landing on his ass. He looked up at JC, shock apparent on his face for a moment. But a smile quickly replaced the shock as he saw the not quite innocent smile grazing JC's features.

"What?" JC asked, voice dripping with innocence.

"You jerk," Justin said, but his tone was far from angry. "You did that on purpose."

"I just moved my hands. Not my fault you lost your balance." He leaned forward in the chair, face inches away from Justin's own. "Besides, you're ego was getting too big. I had to knock it down a few pegs. I figured what better way then by knocking you on your ass?" JC winked quickly before capturing Justin's lips with his own.

"I love you," Justin whispered against JC's mouth. JC's only response was his wet tongue slipping inside Justin's mouth, sliding wet and hot and full of love against Justin's.

*****

S is for Statutory Rape

"Statutory rape, it's statutory rape," JC repeated as he paced the bathroom. His hands moved through his hair, pulling it slightly, but he only cursed when he remembered what Justin was wearing that night, or not wearing really. "Get these thoughts out of your head."

"JC?" He heard Joey call on the other side of the door before he opened it. JC just let out a loud sigh when Joey walked in and shut the door behind him. "What's up man? Justin thinks he did something wrong with you just walking out like that."

"No he doesn't," JC let out a small chuckle that seemed misplaced with the seriousness of his voice's tone. "He knows exactly what is going on, that fucking Justin."

"What did he do?" Joey asked slowly, never liking it when his two band members weren't getting along. But this seemed to be a case where JC was having problems with Justin without anyone else having any idea why. "Justin seriously doesn't know what he did."

"What is he wearing at Lance's weekly movie fest?" JC asked impatiently as he continued pacing. Joey took a seat on the closed toilet lid as he looked over his friend with confusion before going through his short term memory and trying to find the answer.

"A pair of pajama pants and a wife beater?"

"Exactly," he sighed out as he leaned back onto the sink and crossed his arms. "He's teasing me, trying to test me, and trying to see if he can get me to crack. We've played these games all year long and it still is happening since he turned eighteen and I can't, I mean, I'm just not good at stopping myself from cracking."

"Then crack," Joey answered thoughtfully. "Then go to Justin so he can be the glue."

"Statutory rape," JC replied quickly and stood up pacing. "Illegal, too easy to go to him, just no. Joey, he's-."

"He's eighteen," Joey interrupted as he shook his head. "That's not statutory rape."

"I'm twenty-three and he's eighteen. You're supposed to tell me I'm sick."

"You've been in love with him since this group started and it's not sick," Joey said softly and JC looked at him quickly, almost with fear but nausea instead. "What makes you feel better? Me telling you you're sick for wanting to hook up with him or me being here for you?"

"Statutory rape," JC mumbled as his fingers came up to his lips and pulled at them slightly. That had always been his safety net from trying anything and now, with Justin in the other room wearing little, and being eighteen, JC was high diving in what looked to him to be a shallow pond.

"Don't be afraid," Joey whispered as he stood up and hugged JC lightly. "Tomorrow is our live concert on HBO, try to relax with us as friends and put this aside."

"I can't," JC replied softly as he shook his head and Joey released him from the friendly embrace. "I will though, but I can't just go up to him and make out with him."

"Sure you can," Joey laughed lightly.

"I don't know," JC mumbled as Joey walked to the door.

"Come back to Lance's room," Joey commented as he nodded his head. JC shook his head slightly before following him into the movie room.

*****

T is for Tattoo

It had started simply. Just one sentence, really. And it had escalated until there was anger, and hurt, and tears, and slamming doors.

Justin wanted a new tattoo. He’d said it, just like that. “JC, I want a new tattoo.” That had been the beginning.

“Where at?” JC asked, looking up from his book. Justin shrugged, not really sure.

“Maybe my back, across my shoulder blades.”

“What do you want?” Justin had smiled, almost shyly, eyes glancing at JC before looking down to the ground.

“I was thinking of your initials incorporated into it somehow, just real small so only people that I tell will know they’re there.”

“No.” Justin looked up, smile gone, shock replaced it on his face. It hadn’t been harsh, but there was definitely no room for argument in the one word that came from JC’s mouth either.

“What do you mean no? You don’t want me to get your initials?”

“No,” JC said again, shaking his head to add resolve to his statement. Just so he was sure Justin understood him.

“What the hell? I’d be romantic, Jace.”

“I’d be idiotic, Justin.”

“So now I’m an idiot?”

It had continued from there, Justin yelling, JC adamantly refusing. Justin’s voice had risen with each sentence he spoke. JC’s had remained the same, but he wasn’t backing down. Justin didn’t understand. Didn’t get why JC was so against it. JC simply refused. It then turned from the tattoo to other things as they picked out the others flaws, the others weaknesses. Hurtful things were said, tears came rushing in.

Finally, Justin had turned, yelling frustrated nonsense words, and stormed out of the room. JC heard their bedroom door slam moments later and slumped down into the couch. Their first fight. Ever. It had left him shaking, emotions running strong. It wasn’t a good feeling.

They’d had arguments, minor ones. About where to go eat, or what to watch on TV. But none of those were ever serious. There was always a playful undertone, a slight teasing involved. And moments after it started, it was always over. This had been real, raw, painful. JC wasn’t immune to the hurtful words that had come from Justin’s mouth. Especially because he knew, that on some level at least, Justin meant each and every one of them. JC was just glad they loved each other enough to love the flaws as well.

But he knew Justin, knew him well. And he knew that if they didn’t resolve this, if JC didn’t explain why this was such a bad idea, and soon, Justin would go and get it done, just to spite JC. He was very strong willed and when someone told him no, he did it just to go against them. It was one of the flaws JC had hurtfully pointed out to him moments earlier.

His soft knock on the bedroom door went unanswered, but he turned the knob and pushed the door open anyway. Justin was sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, head leaning back to rest against the wall, one knee pulled up and an arm resting over it. He still had a scowl on his face. JC stepped into the room, moving toward the bed. Justin never opened his eyes.

“Justin,” JC started, hoping for some sort of response. His eyes still remained closed, but he turned his head slightly, showing JC he was listening. “I’m sorry.” And as quickly as that, Justin’s blue eyes opened, turned toward JC. The anger from earlier was gone, replaced by sorrow and slight guilt.

“Me too,” he mumbled, reaching for JC. JC moved to him, sitting next to him on the bed, hands clasped between them. “I just don’t understand why you have such a huge problem with this.” JC sighed. He knew he owed Justin the truth. He also knew the truth was the only thing that would keep them from fighting again, and to keep Justin from going and having it done.

“What if this doesn’t last, J?” The horrified look on Justin’s face was enough to make JC stop, the words halting at his lips.

“You think we won’t last?” JC reached out, pulling Justin close, wrapping his arms around him.

“I’d like to think we will. I really hope we will. But what if, Justin. I don’t want you to get a tattoo with my initials on it then end up regretting it. I don’t ever want to be a regret to you.

“You could never be a regret. This, us, what we’ve shared so far, Jace, it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. Just knowing that you love me, knowing that I make you happy. You’ll never know how much that means to me. And even if, and I stress the if, it all ended, I’d always be greatful for what we had. I’d never regret it.” He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to JC’s lips. “If you’re really against this, I won’t do it. I just wanted to show you how much I love you.”

“You show me everyday, Justin. You don’t need to brand yourself with my name to prove that to me. Just being you, that’s enough.” And as JC leaned forward, lips sliding over Justin’s, Justin knew. It was enough. Would always be enough.

*****

U is for Underwater

Justin hated going under water. He liked swimming, he didn’t mind that, but the feeling of his head and knowing his entire body was engulfed, that scared him more than spiders even. All the guys knew, they were there that day on the beach when he got caught in the undertow and that lifeguard had to give him his surfboard to hold on to. Chris made a joke about it when he was back on shore, to ease the tension that JC held, but of course it didn’t work. With JC watching him that day, his gaze never wavering, Justin had told him to relax. Even now though, a couple years later, in the middle of their Pop Odyssey tour, he sat on the edge of the pool watching his friends play, race, dunk each other.

“Hey,” JC smiled, swimming over to him. He winked before pushing himself between Justin’s legs and giving him a quick kiss. “You have our hotel key right?”

“Yeah,” Justin answered as JC rested his arms on Justin’s thighs and looked up to him. His swimsuit hadn’t been wet, he didn’t feel like trying to swim under water today, so JC’s only wetness applying to it helped glue them somewhat together. Justin looked down to his shirt before matching JC’s stare again. “I think I’m going to go upstairs.”

“Don’t,” Joey sighed behind them as he dried his hair with the towel but Justin just shook his head, pushing himself to stand up. JC looked at him disappointed but swam over to where Chris was busy showing Lance the proper way to put on goggles. “Stay man,” Joey said to him and Justin shook his head as he looked up tiredly.

“I think I might go take a nap.”

“You just have to jump into the pool, dive into it, get over it,” Joey urged and Justin shook his head. He didn’t understand what happened next but JC looked up quickly, his smiled halted, when he heard the big splash in the water. Justin sputtered curses as he came above surface, his face quickly filled with panic, and he hurriedly reached for the edge of the pool.

“Joey what the fuck did you do,” JC yelled at him as he swam to the edge already. He glanced at Justin quickly, his face pale white, and he looked to Joey who was already apologizing.

“I thought if he got in and under the water then he’d be over his fear,” Joey replied and Justin nodded to JC showing he was okay. At this JC turned hastily to Joey.

“You don’t think we tried that?” JC started quickly and Joey looked down slightly.

“I’m sorry Justin,” he mumbled but when they both turned to the newly wet boy, he was already out the pool area, the door creating an echo in the now silent pool area.

“Fuck,” JC sighed out and Joey apologized again. “I know.”

Justin pushed the hotel elevator door button, cursing, pleading with it to open. He had to get these clothes off. He couldn’t shake the feeling of the water completely around him, over his head, almost pushing him down it felt like and he pushed the button again. The doors spread open and he let out a breath of relief and walked in, not letting the exiting people come out first.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking down. The doors were almost closed before a hand snuck in between them and spread them apart.

“You okay?” JC asked out softly as he stepped inside. With a towel wrapped around him, JC moved to hug him but Justin held up his hand.

“I just can’t have all this stuff on me,” he sighed out. “I’m sorry, just give me a couple minutes.”

“Okay,” JC whispered in return as the doors closed. JC watched him through the elevator mirrors, Justin looking down though at the floor, almost mumbling to himself and shutting his eyes tightly every so often. “Joey’s really sorry.”

“JC, please,” Justin breathed out. The feeling of the clothes growing tighter onto his body was taking so much of his thoughts that being mad at Joey weren’t even at the forefront.

The elevator doors parted, Justin breathing a sigh of relief as he walked out briskly. JC could hardly keep up and when he reached their room, Justin was already inside pulling at his clothing. He watched him, standing just inside the doorway, and JC pulled the tower tighter around himself.

Justin’s back was to him, the grown man he loved, struggling with pealing the wet shirt away, with whimpers eliciting themselves past his lips. JC wanted to help but he knew Justin would just push him away. Justin’s shoulders slumped as he attempted again to get the clothes off and failed. He turned around slowly, matching JC’s worried glance. JC watched him, deciding to let Justin say what he needed, what he had to say. Justin’s face was red, his eyes wide almost threatening to spill out more moistness, and JC shivered slightly.

“JC,” his voice cracked and he felt twelve again as JC looked at him sympathetically.

“Can you help me?”

Together it didn’t take them long to get the wet clothes off and put him in a large, dry, bathrobe. They watched television together, silence taking over them as they let the program fill the void. They didn’t talk about all that had happened earlier until Joey came into the room to apologize. It didn’t take Justin more than a second to forgive Joey for something he honestly didn’t meant to cause harm from and JC just watched the two of them, not quite knowing what to say himself.

The television was turned off when they both returned to the bed after Joey left. Bodies facing each other, lips stealing kisses from the other and soft whispers with softer touches accompanied them as well. A deal was made between kisses and slow nods with small smiles. Justin would start swimming alone with JC at least twice a week only if JC was naked for a couple lessons. They sealed it with kisses of laughter.

*****

V is for Virginia Beach

Everyday, for the past month, they’d headed into a small studio in Virginia Beach. Everyday they worked on new tracks, new beats, came up with new lyrics for new songs. And everyday, Justin turned his cell phone off.

When he was in the studio, he was nothing but professional. Sure, there were jokes and laughter, but he could always be counted on to stay on track, keep focus, and hit it each and every time he went into the sound booth. That was one of the main reasons Pharrell had been so willing to work with him again.

But when they started wrapping up, making sure all the tracks were unloaded and stored safely, making sure all the equipment was turned off, Justin would pull out his cell phone and thumb the on button before snapping the covers shut. He never looked like he was waiting, but Pharrell knew he was. And when the single beep came, alerting Justin that he had new voice mails, he’d flip the phone back open and dial the number quickly. He didn’t look anxious, but there was a light in his eyes that said otherwise.

Pharrell would watch Justin’s face intently as he listened to the messages. Some from family and friends, some from producers and record execs, some from his manager. But there was always just one he was waiting for. And Pharrell could always pinpoint the exact moment when he got it. His eyes would light up, his mouth would spread into a lazy smile.

JC called everyday. Pharrell had asked Justin, once, what he said in the messages. Sometimes it was just a simple hello and I love you before he’d hang up. Other times he’d ramble on for a few minutes about the things he’d accomplished that day. Sometimes, and Justin had blushed slightly when he’d told Pharrell, he whispered hot, sexy words into the phone. Words meant to turn Justin on. But whatever he said, the message was always there, waiting for Justin when he got done in the studio. And it was the highlight of Justin’s day.

It was an amazing thing to watch, seeing the love Justin felt for JC radiating across his entire face at the mere sound of his boyfriend’s voice.

Justin had told Pharrell how hard it was being apart. He’d explained that for the past five years, ever since Nsync started, they’d been together almost constantly. He’d told Pharrell how much he loved JC, eyes darting up, daring him to say make any comments about being sappy. Pharrell had kept his mouth shut. He was in a strange sort of awe at the feelings and emotions displayed on Justin’s face. No comments were even coming. He’d told Pharrell how much he missed JC, and how the calls, the daily voice mails, helped make it easier.

Pharrell understood. He’d never been there, never been so in love that being apart from that person was painful, but it was so evident in Justin’s words, on his face, that Pharrell got it.

Today, a month into their recording, just as they were packing up, Justin pulled his cell phone out. True to form, he thumbed it on and flipped the cover shut, waiting for the beep. He looked relaxed, at ease. But Pharrell could see the anticipation shimmering below the surface. And then, when the beep sounded, Justin flipped his phone back open. It wasn’t hurried. It was almost lazily. As Pharrell watched, Justin’s face lit up and Pharrell knew he’d gotten to the one he was looking for. The phone clicked closed a few moments later.

“Your boy call?” Justin nodded, shoulders shrugging like it was no big deal. “He have anything important to say?” Pharrell didn’t miss the smile. It was small, like he was trying to hide it. But it was still there.

“He’s got a couple days off. He’s coming to visit. To see how the album’s coming along.” And in that moment, Pharrell was slightly jealous. Jealous that these two men had found a love so amazing with each other that just the thought of seeing each other was enough to make their bodies quiver with excitement. And he was glad Justin trusted him enough to let him in, to let him glimpse something that wonderful, that incredible. Even as he wished he had something that even came close.

*****

W is for Whispers

JC's lips were moving slowly against his neck and Justin moaned as JC moved his hips and into him again. It was fluid movement and when the pain of Justin's first time had subsided into nothing but pleasure, Justin felt his own soft groans come out as JC felt more confidence in kissing his body. His fingers dug into JC's back, feeling each movement of his boyfriend's muscles as JC's ass clenched with each thrust into him. Everything he could imagine was met and surpassed and he shut his eyes tightly when JC whispered words of love into his ear.

Every sense of his was doubling. He could smell the sweat of their bodies mixed in with the soap of their showers they had taken after the show and Justin moaned louder as JC blew against his damp skin, creating a cool haze. Their bodies were moving as one and Justin's eyes opened to watch the dance they were creating together that only made him want to close his eyes and give in to it all.

JC lifted his head from kissing Justin's neck and he watched his best friend, his boyfriend, and now his lover move under him, discovering for the first time with him what it meant to give oneself completely to another. Justin's eyes widened with shock, and quickly, when he could feel himself closer to the edge and he matched JC's stare unexpectedly.

"So good," he whispered as their bodies continued to rock with each other and JC leaned forward to cover Justin's lips after the words had passed them. It was a weak kiss that sent Justin more sensations when he felt JC's tongue against his lips and his mouth widened in surprise when he came a moment later. JC followed him soon after, his thrusts seeming to go deeper inside of Justin and hold there as JC's lips moved away from his own and back to the soft kisses on his neck.

JC didn't want to leave Justin's body, any part of him at all. Where their bodies were connected like pieces that fit perfectly together, where Justin's arms were around him, holding him still, and his in part against the bed caving Justin in. Their gazes locked again and JC slowly rolled to his side, trusting the warmth of Justin's arms to be enough when he pulled out completely from Justin. And it was.

"I love you," JC whispered and Justin blinked slowly before he leaned in and placed a small kiss on JC's lips.

"I'm glad you were my first," Justin replied softly as he leaned forward and placed his head against JC's shoulder. His eyes blinked slowly shut as he felt JC pull him closer and tighter against his body. "I love you," he whispered before succumbing to sleep.

"My Justin," JC replied barely above a hushed exhale as he closed his eyes as well. His lips curled in a smile when he remembered how tonight had been the last show, giving them a whole week off, a whole week off together.

*****

X is for Xmas

The Christmas tree was on, the tiny multicolored lights the only thing illuminating the room. JC sat on the couch, facing the tree, eggnog in hand. His eyes stared at the tree, not really seeing it, as his mind wandered. It was Christmas Eve and he was all alone.

The plan had been for Justin to come home today. He’d gone to stay with his mother, back in Tennessee, after he’d broken his foot. She’d insisted, wanted to baby him a little again. JC had understood. And Justin had promised he’d be back so they could spend Christmas together.

But there’d been a sudden snowstorm, worst Tennessee had seen in years. And Justin’s flight had gotten canceled. He’d called, early this morning, waking JC up, to inform him that if the weather didn’t quit, there’d be no way he could make it back today. JC had watched the weather channel all day, hoping the snow would stop, that the weather would let up enough for the planes to resume flight. But it had only gotten worse as the day progressed.

His ringing cell phone shattered the silence and JC jumped slightly before reaching for it. Justin’s own cell phone number lit up the small window and JC smiled. Even though they couldn’t be together, being able to talk to him, to hear his voice, was something.

“Hey, baby,” he whispered into the phone as he flipped it open.

“Hey.” Justin’s voice was low, almost whispered into the phone. “You ok?”

“Not really. But I will be.” JC sighed, setting his glass of eggnog on the table beside him. “It’s just strange. This is the first Christmas we’ve been apart in seven years.”

“Are you mad?”

“No, not mad. It couldn’t be helped. Just disappointed, I guess. I’ve had ‘The Only Gift’ running through my head all day. It just seemed kind of fitting and now it’s stuck there.” JC said, smiling into the phone. Justin laughed lightly.

“That brings back memories. We should really do another Christmas album sometime. That was fun.” He paused for a minute, both of them simply listening to the sound of the other, muffled over the phone, distanced by thousands of miles. “I have something for you. I figured since I couldn’t be there, I wanted you to at least have something. It should be arriving shortly.”

“Just being able to talk to you is enough. If you can’t be here, then it’s enough.”

“I know, but I wanted to. It will be there shortly. My mom needs my help, but call me after you get it, ok?” JC agreed and they hug up, their sentiments of love still hanging in the air. It was about ten minutes later when the doorbell rang and JC moved toward it, wondering what it was that Justin could have sent him on such short notice.

Reaching for the handle, he pulled the door open, expecting a delivery man, but instead. Justin stood before him, arms open wide, a huge smile spread across his face. JC moved into his arms quickly, the shock still running through his body. He felt Justin’s arms wrap around him, holding him close. Justin’s head turned, lips pressed against JC’s ear.

“You need to be home with me, alone with me. Holding me next to the Christmas tree,” he sang softly into JC’s ear before kissing the skin lightly and pulling back so they could move into the house.

It only took moments for them to end up curled around each other on the couch, arms and legs intertwined, the glow of the Christmas tree lights spreading across their skin.

“How did you get here?”

“It’s called a plane, Jace. Kind of a new invention. You might want to look into using one sometime. It makes traveling so much faster than driving.” He kissed the back of JC’s neck and JC could feel the smile against his skin.

“You know what I mean,” JC mumbled, pressing closer to Justin. “The airports were closed.”

“Not in Atlanta. The storm didn’t go that far south.”

“That’s like seven hours from where your mom lives!” JC exclaimed, pulling away to turn and look at Justin. “You drove seven hours just to fly six more?”

“I promised you I’d be here, Jace. And every promise I ever make to you I intend to keep. Besides, you’re more than worth 13 hours of my life.” JC couldn’t find words to express the joy spreading through his heart, his soul. All he could do was lean back into Justin, intertwining their hands, placing a soft kiss against Justin’s shoulder. But Justin’s arms tightening around him told JC he understood completely.

*****

Y is for Yes

The moonlight filtered in through the balcony doors, spreading across the bed, illuminating Justin's features, creating shadows across his face, making the well-defined contours of his jaw stand out. JC moved quietly to the bed. It had been a long day in the studio but he'd gotten a lot accomplished, even a few songs he thought might make the final cut of his album.

Slipping out of his pants and shirt, he lifted the covers and climbed under them, reaching immediately for Justin, sliding up against his back, arm wrapping around his waist. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep with Justin in his arms, listening to his quiet breathing, feeling the soft rise and fall of his chest. It was the perfect way to sleep and in the past six months they hadn't had a lot of nights where they'd gotten to just sleep with each other.

But Justin was home now, had been for a month and would be for another five weeks. And JC was enjoying every minute they got to spend with each other. Pressing a soft kiss between Justin's shoulder blades, JC closed his eyes, knowing sleep would come easily. But moments later, Justin shifted and turned in JC's arms, eyes searching the darkness for his face.

"Hey sweetness." His voice was deep, raspy with sleep. JC propped himself up on an elbow, his other hand moving softly over Justin's chest. "How'd it go today?"

"Pretty good. Got a lot done." JC leaned down, pressing his lips against Justin's, tongue slipping out to swipe at Justin's lips before he pulled back. He shifted, leg sliding over Justin's, letting his foot run up and down the muscular calf. "God I love being able to come home and climb in bed with you. It's the best part of my day." Justin's smile lit up his entire face as he let his fingers come up, thumb running softly over JC's bottom lip. JC's tongue came out, wrapping around Justin's thumb and pulling it into his mouth, licking the soft pad for a moment before letting it go.

"I miss you like crazy when I'm away. And then when I'm done being away, you're going to be away." Justin sighed, leaning into JC. "But we'll get through it. We'll make it. I have no doubts." Justin didn't miss JC's eyes slipping closed or the soft sigh that escaped his lips. And Justin knew him well enough to know it wasn't a sigh of contentment. "What? What's the matter?" Fear ran through Justin's body, fear about the words he'd just spoken, fear that maybe JC did have doubts.

JC's eyes opened again, meeting Justin's. He could see the fear buried in them and he smiled, hand caressing soothing circles across Justin's chest.

"It's nothing, J."

"Don't lie to me, Josh. Please, especially about something like this. Are you having doubts that we might not make it?"

"Not at all, baby." JC paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. This was hard for him. It was harder than he thought it would be. If he was honest with himself, he was really scared of what Justin's reaction would be. He knew that Justin loved him, but was it as much as he hoped it was? Was it enough? "The truth is, this, right here, I can see this, J. I can see this years from now, us still laying in bed together, pressed close to each other. I can see myself growing old with you." He sighed again, eyes meeting Justin's. "And I don't know if you feel the same, but I can see it, I can feel it. I can see forever with you."

Justin's eyes searched JC's face, mouth opening and closing a few times, but nothing came out.

"Look, I'll understand if you don't feel the same. I just needed to tell you. Please don't let it scare you away." Justin's lips on his stopped any more words and JC surrendered to the kiss for a moment until Justin pulled back.

"I love you, so much. And that doesn't scare me at all. I'm not going anywhere, Jace. Everything you just said, I feel it too. I can see forever with you. I want to spend forever with you. I can't imagine spending it with anyone else, don't even want to try."

"You mean that?" JC asked, eyes curious but shinning with hope.

"Yes," was Justin's only response. But the look in his eyes told JC that he meant it with every piece of his heart.

*****

Z is for Zoo

There was something about making JC smile that pulled at Justin's heart. To know that he alone could be loved by this man, to love this man in return, and to make JC think of him with a smile just seemed to be Justin's greatest accomplishment for him. As a kid growing up, he never understood how famous people could say they won so many awards and still weren't happy in life. Winning awards was something Justin always wanted, to be recognized and respected as a singer, but as he grew and fell in love with JC, he knew what everyone was talking about. Nothing made him happier than to see JC smile. And when Justin brought him to one of his favorite places, as a surprise, that smile from JC seemed to make all the hard work of finding a day they both had off, all worth it. He could smell the elephant manure from where they sat in front of the guerillas, JC still smiling largely as he watched.

"Look at that one right there," JC pointed out with a raised finger. Justin followed his direction and smiled slightly at what looked to be the alpha male rolling on his back. "They're so cool."

"Yeah," Justin breathed out as his hand came up to go around JC's shoulders. JC accepted the public display of affection with another smile as he felt a small victory for getting Justin out of his public phobia shell. Years of being together as boyfriends, years before then being best friends, they had loved each other, loved the other's good parts and even loved the other's annoying habits. Justin's need to fold everything before putting it in his pocket brought itself up in JC's mind now as well when he watched Justin bend the zoo map and slide it into his pant's pocket.

"I hate when you do that," JC whispered out but only because Justin would smile at him, like he was doing now, as if he did that activity for that lone reason.

"I have to admit something," Justin whispered, expecting JC to flinch under his arm, but when he turned his head to look at JC, the same calm and happy expression met him as if he knew that anything Justin would say couldn't be bad.

"Admit what?" JC asked though, their stares being interrupted when JC's curiosity got the best of him and he turned to look at another pair of guerillas.

"Well your album is coming out any day now," Justin began and smiled when he felt JC's hand move to his thigh and rest there slightly. "And I'm proud of you."

"But?" JC asked as his grin still remained but his eyes creased slightly with confusion as they turned to Justin.

"I'm still scared that now we'll have even less time for each other," Justin finally admitted as he crossed his legs at his ankles and looked away. JC's thumb still continued to rub against his thigh absently and Justin bit his bottom lip as he scanned the open field of trees and few guerillas.

"We always find time for each other," JC said after taking a few moments to find his words. "I trust you enough to make time for me and I trust you enough to know you won't get mad at me if we can't be with each other for a little while. Remember what happened when you recorded your album?"

"I know." Justin nodded before he looked over to JC. "I remember when you told me you loved me for the first time too, when you teased me with that éclair also, and when you first introduced yourself to me. I remember more, I remember everything and that's why I'm so scared. I don't want to lose that if I miss you so much and get mad. Which I do, you know that."

"I know you do that," JC replied but not stopping his small smile appearing. Justin opened his mouth to reply but JC shook his head and Justin quickly shut his mouth. "I love you Justin, I love how you worry about things months before they happen, and I love how you... you… well attempt to cook. I love the time we're with each other and I love the moments when we're not."

"What?"

"Remember when you sent me all those flowers and we had that talk about being overly romantic?"

"Yeah," Justin replied slowly, unsure of where this was going.

"I miss you so much when we're apart and it's like that talk we had almost following the abundant flower deliveries," JC said softly as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against Justin's. "I love being away from you because that feeling I get when I see your name on my cell phone's caller ID, it just reminds me why it's worth it."

"JC," Justin said out softly, wanting to find a way he could repeat the same thing to him without sounding redundant. JC's lips covered his with a soft pressure and when Justin pulled away to continue talking, JC squeezed his thigh.

"Let's enjoy the zoo," JC whispered as he turned his head to face forward. Justin watched him observe the animals for a moment before resting his head against JC's shoulder as his hand moved to the small of JC's back.

"I'd buy you a zoo if I could."

"I know," JC replied as he moved his hand away from Justin's leg and wrapped it around Justin's back, holding him tighter now. "And I'd buy you-"

"Nothing," Justin interrupted softly as his hand pulled JC slightly closer, completely up against him. "I have everything I need, everything I want."

"I love the zoo," JC cooed out and Justin only smiled with him as he shrugged slightly, enjoying their afternoon. They sat there together for they didn't know how long, it didn't matter.

JC's hand always found his and Justin's hand always held on tightly.