CHAPTER ONE:
Your telephone was ringing incessantly and had been since early morning. Finally, around noon, you simply unplugged it. You were in no mood to talk to well-meaning friends and family, no mood to talk to curious co-workers from the radio station, and sure as hell in no mood to talk to Howie, Nick, Brian, or even Kevin. You tried to watch some tv, but it didn't hold your interest, so taking a novel with you, you went outside by the pool to try and read while you sunbathed. There was no use though because unfortunately, you just couldn't concentrate. You knew that sooner or later you'd have to face everyone. Afterall, it wasn't like this was a surprise. AJ admitted to the engagement in November, and he had called to warn you of the announcement that would be on MTV in early February. You saw him briefly in March, and had talked to him on the phone twice since then. You knew this was coming. Around 6:00 in the evening, you finally decided to call Kelly back. "Hey! It's me." you greeted when she answered the phone on the third ring. "God! Where have you been? We were ready to call the cops. Do you realize that Kevin actually called the station looking for you because you won't answer your damn phone?" she questioned without even taking a breath. "I'm sorry" you apologized. "I've been here all day. So, what's up? Did work go ok?" you asked, trying to avoid the subject that you knew she wanted to talk about. "What's up?? HELLO!!! What kind of drugs are you taking and can I have some?" Kelly laughed. "Oh, listen to this..it's really funny. That new intern Kim asked Wes if you were sick and what she should tell Kevin when he called." "Oh great" you groaned. "I'm scared to ask what he told her and what she finally said to Kevin." "Well, you know how Wes is" Kelly giggled. Everyone in the state knew Wes Scantlin, the early morning deejay. He was very well liked and listened to due to his off-the-wall pranks and his on-air personality. He was also your boss. "He was totally serious and he had Kim going big time" Kelly continued. "Oh shit...what did he say?" you questioned. "He told her...hold on a second. I had to write it down so I wouldn't forget. Ok, he said you were suffering from situational neurosis secondary to a passive dependency reaction that was manifested by pathological indecisiveness relative to ceremonial espousement." she replied. "Jesus Christ! you exclaimed as you started to laugh. "Where in the hell does he come up with this shit?" "He's a genius. That is why he is making the big bucks." Kelly stated simply. "So anyway, Kim is looking at him like he's crazy and then she asks 'is it contagious?' I swear to god ******, I had to leave the room to keep from laughing." "What did he say?" you asked, wanting to hear the rest of the story. "He got this really serious look on his face and said 'I've heard it's affected thousands of people. I jus hope that ****** can pull through." she laughed. "Oh god..he is crazy." you said. "True. So then Wes says 'tell the Backstreet Boy that she's home in bed, ALONE, with a headache' and Kim actually told Kevin that" Kelly said, finishing her story. "Damn" you mumbled. "I know. I don't know where he was calling from, but he called the station once when he couldn't get you at home or on your cell phone, then he called back to see if you had picked up your messages. You know, you really should talk to him. He's gonna think that you are mad at him or something." she said softly. "Kelly, I'm not mad at anybody. I just need a few days, you know?" you sighed. "Does Kevin know what really happened with you and AJ? Really??" she asked. "No, and I prefer to keep it that way for AJ's sake." you replied. Of course, that remark brought nothing but silence from Kelly. She didn't hold the same respect or love for AJ that you did. As far as she was concerned, he had used her best friend. As far as you were concerned, you had used each other. Finally, Kelly managed a strained response to what you had said. "How long do you plan on protecting him?" "Please Kel...not now. Not today." you pleaded. You took a deep breath and tried to control yet another flood of tears before they started falling. You and Kelly were the best of friends and had been through alot together. Normally, you could talk to her about anything, but this hurt was just too deep and too fresh for discussion at that very moment. "Fine ******. Just do me one favor. If Kevin asks, tell him the truth. He deserves to know. Besides, AJ is living out his dreams so why is it that you feel like you don't deserve dreams of your own? That you have to settle for whatever crumbs he decides to throw your way?" Kelly demanded, the irritation she was feeling apparent in her voice. "I don't..." you began, but Kelly cut you off before you could finish your sentence. "Yes you do! From the time you two met, you have played his game by his rules. Now you're suffering the consequences of not protecting your heart and your feelings. Believe it or not, Wes and I love you and we don't like to see you hurt like this. From what I can tell, I think that Kevin feels a little love for you tugging on his heart as well. Just let it go with AJ. It's way past over. You played his game, you lost, and now it's over. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is." "I know, and I'm sorry too Kel. I'm sorry too" you whispered.
CHAPTER TWO:
Your affair of the heart with AJ had started five years ago in 1997. You were 19 and had just started working for the radio station. It seemed to you that everytime you turned around, you were stringing up plastic banners to promote the station and following Wes Scantlin around the city to do remote broadcasts and special events. Basically, you got all of the shit jobs, but you took it all in stride because you knew that you were paying your dues as an intern. When the transmitters went out, it was usually you who accompanied the engineers to the site. When temperamental divas and stars were scheduled for interviews, it was usually you who had the privelege of picking them up and chauffering them to the station and around the town. When someone wanted to send out for lunch, it was you that usually got stuck taking orders, collecting money, and spending your lunch break sitting at the drive-thru or deli of choice. The Backstreet Boys had just released their first album in the U.S. Apparently, they were highly successful in Europe, but no one in the states seemed to know about them yet. At that point, only one of them was even old enough to go out clubbing. That fact was ignored however, and you, being underage as well, were asked to tag along as the station showed the guys the city's night life. Later into the night, it was you who ended up with the dubious honor of hauling AJ's drunken ass back to his hotel. He was so smashed that night that he could hardly even walk, yet somehow you managed to get him upstairs, unlock the door, and deposit him into his bed. "You gonna stay with me?" he slurred. "Hell no" you said with a smile as you dropped his room key in his lap. "Goodnight handsome" AJ was in the middle of protesting when you shut the door on him mid-sentence. The next time you saw him was backstage at BSB's tour a little over a year later. By then, the boys' popularity was soaring. They were not quite yet the superstars that they are today, but they were definitely getting there fast. AJ kept his eyes on you as you smiled and talked with Wes and Kelly while you worked the crowd that was gathered for the meet and greet before the show. You had an armful of radio station bumper stickers to give out along with a smile and a hug for anyone and everyone. AJ knew that he had seen you somewhere before, but he just couldn't place where. He had no recollection at all of you dumping him in his bed that night. After the concert, Wes and several of the other radio personalities had a late dinner with some of the boys. AJ was anxious to talk to the cute brunette that he had seen earlier, but you were a no show. He eventually got his nerve up to ask Wes who you were and how he could contact you. Wes grinned and wrote down a number on the back of his business card. AJ was annoyed to find out later that Wes had given him the station's telephone number and not yours. The "Millennium" tour was in full swing before you and AJ finally made any real contact with each other. You saw him briefly backstage at the arena, then as the show progressed, you took your place near the stage with the other station "celebrities". You could feel AJ staring at you every chance he got. At first, you thought it was just your imagination, but then the guys that you were sitting with starting teasing you, and Kelly confirmed your suspicions. "He is sooo hitting on you" she squealed, and he was for a fact. After the show, everyone from the station went clubbing with the guys and this time, you decided to tag along. Just as he had done almost three years before when you were out with him, AJ had a little too much to drink. You weren't all that far behind him as far as alcohol consumption was concerned, but you still offered to help him to his room. He declined, stating that he didn't want to go to his room but to your house instead....someplace where the fans couldn't find him. You agreed and drove him to your house, all the while praying that your dog Dakotah, who was freely roaming around your house, hadn't torn anything up and made a mess. "Sit down AJ" you said once you were inside. You gave Dakotah a little hug, and then put him outside to play in the yard for a while. When you returned to the living room, you found AJ going through your CD collection. "Pretty impressive" he said as he continued to read the titles. "Just one of the perks of working at a radio station." you smiled. "You want something to drink? I'm gonna get a Pepsi or something." As you kicked off your shoes and made your way towards the kitchen, you could hear AJ following you. When you turned around he was standing right behind you. "You're short without those shoes on. How tall are you?" AJ asked softly as he brushed your brown hair away from your eyes. "Ummm..5'6. I'm not short. You're just taller than I am." you said turning back around to fill your glass with ice cubes. He was so close to you at that point that you could feel his breath teasing the back of your neck. For a moment you lost all concentration, closing your eyes as he snaked his arms around your waist from behind and pulled you back up against him. "Is this ok with you?" he asked. His voice was soft and seductive and you could feel yourself giving into him. For over two years now you had been resisting his advances. You had two years to think about it and rationalize it, and try like hell to talk yourself out of an impossible relationship. Unfortunately, you also had two years to think about how much you really wanted this guy. Tonight, you both would finally get what you had been waiting for, and what you both wanted....
CHAPTER THREE: (WARNING - THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENTS. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION)
"I hope that this doesn't get me fired" you teased as you made your way toward the bedroom with AJ. The only source of light was the full moon bathing the dark room in a soft, milky glow. As AJ's warm breath caressed your neck, you closed your eyes and tilted your head to one side, allowing him to place soft kisses here and there. You shivered as his tongue lingered there, tickling and playfully nipping at your tender skin. Just like he had done in the kitchen, he placed his hands on your slender hips and pulled you back into him, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. Still cuddled in his embrace, you turned to face him and kissed him tenderly. He returned your kisses again and again. His kisses were gentle but demanding. You knew right then and there that he was demanding your love and demanding your devotion. You also knew that from that moment on, you were more than willing to meet his demands. Never breaking your kiss, AJ slowly and carefully began backing you toward the bed. He removed your shirt and then your bra, gently pushing it off of your shoulders. You closed your eyes as he held his open palm to your face and whispered "god ******, you are so beautiful." He kissed your now bared shoulders while his hands lingered and caressed your breasts. He sat you down on the edge of
the bed and knelt down before you. Slipping his arm around your waist, AJ buried his face between your breasts, nuzzling you as he took in your fragrance. "Baby, you smell so good...so sweet" he said softly. A tiny gasp caught in your throat as he now took your breast in his mouth, teasing and bathing your hardened nipple with his warm tongue. Your fingers played in his dark hair as he began to suck harder, paying equal attention to each breast and delighting in the moans of pleasure that he was eliciting from you. He gently bit down on your hardened nipple and then released it, giving you a tiny, sexy grin before laying you back onto the bed. His tongue began a slow, methodical journey down your flat stomach. When he reached your belly button, he unbuttoned your pants and slipped them off. Next, he removed your panties. "Can I keep these as a souvenir?" he joked as he held your tiny yellow panties up. "Do you want me to autograph them for you?" you giggled. "I think you already did" he said, grinning as he stood up and slowly pulled off his shirt. You just watched as he undressed before you...he was absolutely gorgeous. His shoulders were strong and his stomach was tight. His brown eyes sparkled as he caught your gaze. He took off his jeans and wadded them up in a ball before throwing them across the room. You couldn't help but to laugh. "Did you like that?" he asked. "Very romantic AJ" you replied with a smile. "No, this is very romantic..." he said as he forced you to lay back. AJ flashed a boyish grin as he crawled onto the bed and began to kiss your ankles before moving up to your knees and then your inner thighs. As he gently pushed your legs apart, he glanced up at you and smiled as if asking one last time for silent permission to proceed. You returned his smile and closed your eyes, sinking back into the mountain of pillows on your bed. Using his fingers, AJ separated you and then began to plant tiny, delicate kisses up and down your most sensitive area. When his tongue easily found the right spot, you grabbed fistfuls of the sheet and moaned loudly. Then, taking you into his mouth, AJ licked and began to suck gently, causing your back to arch and your hips to rise off of
the bed. "Oh god AJ" you cried as he continued to run his tongue around and around, assaulting your senses. Uncontrolled spasms began to course through you as you breathlessly spit out "don't stop...please!" You and AJ had never been together before and he wasn't sure that he wanted this to be over so soon. It was very easy for him to tell that you were right on the brink of orgasm and he was nowhere near being ready for that…not yet anyway. Instead, he slowly slid up your body and began to kiss you again. Your tongues explored each other's mouths, your kisses deep and passionate. As AJ entered you, you gasped. You could feel him stretching your walls as he filled you completely. "Shit" he moaned. "You are so tight and warm." As the heat from your body spread over him, he had to stop momentarily to regain his composure. Then, ever so slowly, he began to move again, sliding himself in and out of you. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he moved deeper and deeper within you. AJ could once again feel your body tensing around him, driving him to the edge. A tiny shudder from you rolled into uncontrolled tremors and spasms as your orgasm ripped through you. AJ stopped moving, his eyes tightly closed as he bit down on his lip and tried desperately to hold on. He wanted this to last as long as possible. Realizing that he was holding back, you gently pushed him off of you and rolled him onto his back. You began to kiss his strong chest, then his stomach, stopping to lick his belly button. You then slid down his body further, teasing him by softly kissing the tip of his fully aroused member and gently sucking on it, then tracing little patterns around and around and up and down his shaft as you cupped and fondled him in your hands. AJ filled his hands with fistfuls of your hair as you softly kissed and sucked him. He thrust into your mouth causing you to moan and when that happened, the vibration almost sent AJ right over the edge. He knew he couldn't hold out any longer so he grabbed you by the shoulders and lifted you up. "Fuck me ******" he growled hungrily. Straddling him, you eased down onto his hardness, rolling your hips as you let him fill you once again. AJ held tight to your waist as you leaned back, your long brown hair falling back and tickling his thighs. As you began to gently rock back and forth, he squeezed your nipples while his thumb made tiny circles on your most sensitive spot. Suddenly, he moved both hands back to your waist, almost lifting you up and then pulling you back down onto himself even harder, slamming up into you as his hips lifted off the bed. His eyes were closed and tiny beads of perspiration clung to his forehead as he moaned beneath you. "Damn *****" he cried out just as his hips began to buck wildly and he came inside of you. As AJ pulled you down onto his chest and held you, he kissed you softly. Spent and exhausted, you both fell asleep...AJ still inside of you. Your affair with AJ was short lived, but intense. He confided in you, made love to you, and demanded things of you that you had never even considered doing for a man before. You listened to him when he needed to talk, advised him, and pleasured him. AJ never promised you forever, and you never asked for it.
CHAPTER FOUR:
"DAMN IT!" Kevin yelled in frustration as he slammed down the phone and then picked it right back up again and redialed your number. "Come on ******, answer the phone. I know you're there." Nick continued to almost rhythmically toss a baseball up in the air over and over again as he quietly watched Kevin's growing panic. "Man, give it up. Maybe she just don't want to talk to your ass." he offered. When Kevin just ignored him and didn't respond, Nick tried again, halfway disgusted with his persistence. "I don't get it man. AJ never hid anything from ******, right? So, what's the big deal? So she don't answer the phone...maybe she's not home." For once, Nick had a very good point. It shouldn't have mattered one little bit. AJ was married, and by now everyone knew it. The whole world knew about it, so what did it matter if you found out? You weren't any different from any one of the hundreds of other girls that the boys had met or dated over the past five years. AJ never lied to you about Sarah or the wedding, so what was the big deal? The big deal was that it was you, and to Kevin, you were a very big deal. For the longest time, you and Kevin shared only a "hi, how are you?" type of friendship. You were just another pretty girl that AJ had picked up along the way....smart, nice, and an employee of a radio station with that smart ass morning deejay, but definitely just a friend. That all changed in November when AJ invited you down to the Georgia Dome show in Atlanta. He sent you airline tickets, made hotel reservations, and then ended up going to the movies. He completely forgot that you were coming. No one was there to meet you at the airport so you took a cab to the hotel and got your room key, only to find that AJ was nowhere to be found. Everyone except for Kevin had gone to the movies to see the late showing of "Sleepy Hollow". Kevin had decided that he wanted to check out a new club instead. Unfortunately, he had gotten bad directions and he and his bodyguard had gotten lost, so they just decided to give up and return to the hotel early. As soon as he laid his eyes on you, he was glad that he did. "******? What are you doing here?" he asked as he watched you fighting with your carry-on bag, your purse, and the key in your hand. He took the key from you, slipped it through the slot, and the door to AJ's room popped open. "Well, AJ invited me." you said, answering his question. "Why? Where is he?" "At the movies with the rest of the guys I think." he replied as he took the heavy bag from your shoulder. "Damn girl...what's in here, bricks?" "Yep. I can't get nothing by you, can I?" you teased. Although you were laughing, Kevin cold tell that it was just a thinly disguised attempt to cover up your hurt. "So....when do you think he'll be back?" you asked quietly. "Should I leave? I mean..." "NO!" Kevin said quickly, cutting off your sentence. "You shouldn't leave. I don't know when he'll be back though. The show didn't start until midnight." He stood there for a few minutes and just watched you scurry around AJ's room as you nervously tried to straighten it up. Finally, he walked over to you and grabbed you by the shoulders to make you stop. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, neither of you knowing what to say, before Kevin tried to change the subject. "Hey, have you eaten? I'm starving" he asked. "I could probably eat something. You know what I would love?" you answered as your blue eyes widened. "I would love a big stack of pancakes with butter and strawberry jelly." Kevin started laughing. "I bet we can do that. Come on." he said as he started towards the door. When he noticed that you hadn't budged, he turned back to look at you. "What?" he asked curiously. "Would it be ok if I stored this in your room?" you asked as you motioned over to your bag. "Just incase he comes back....with company. Well, since...you know...he sort of forgot about me and all." You fumbled for the words that you were looking for, but you forced a smile and tried to be happy anyway. It was breaking Kevin's heart. Taking your bag from your hand, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and kissed you on the cheek. "We can do that too" he said sympathetically. As you turned off the lights and made your way out of the room, Kevin stopped. "Ya know what ******?" "What?" you replied. "You're alright" he said while smiling. You smiled back at him and followed him to his room to drop off your bags. The coffee shop across the street stayed open 24 hours a day, so you and Kevin spent the next three hours tucked in a corner booth in the back of the shop learning about each other and laughing while you ate breakfast at 3am. You were now well into a "best 3 our of 5" Equal vs. Sweet N' Low sugar substitute hockey game, laughing loudly as you took aim at each other and flicked the little pink and blue packets back and forth across the table. "She shoots! She scores!...The crowd goes wild!" you cheered as you did a victory dance in the narrow aisle. "Psst...that's your cue" you told Kevin. "You are the crowd. Go on...go wild. Hurry!! I'm making an ass out of myself standing here." you laughed. He cheered you on, laughing and shaking his head at your silliness. "AJ is an idiot" he thought to himself. "Ok! Sit down Ms. Champion" he said as he playfully grabbed your wrist when you danced by, pulling you down in the booth next to him. "You getting sleepy?" he asked. "Nah. You?" You looked at him closely to get a better look at his green eyes, realizing that he was tired. "Oh Kevin, you look exhausted. I'm sorry." you said apologetically. "I'm fine. Sleepy, but fine." he assured you. "You know what I think though? I think that you're scared to go back to the hotel so you are going to just sit here and eat pancakes all night." As he watched the smile fade from your lips, he knew that he was right. "Look, let me call him. How's that?" he offered. You just smiled as he pulled out his cell phone and punched in AJ's number. It rang 4 times before voice mail finally picked up. Kevin closed his eyes, praying that AJ didn't have a "guest". He took a deep breath and said "AJ, it's Kevin. ******** got to the hotel around 11. We are at a coffee shop across the street right now, but we'll be back at the hotel in about 20 minutes. Uhhh...******* is gonna wait to hear from you. She'll be in my room." As he disconnected the call, you were fighting back tears, but you managed to smile and say "thanks." Kevin kissed the back of your hand. "Like I said earlier, you're alright ******** ^^^^^^^." The two of you scooted out of your booth, and much to your surprise, Kevin kissed you gently on the lips. "You ARE tired" you said softly, trying to hide your embarrassment. "No, I'm crazy, but not tired" he said as he kissed you again. "I'm crazy for not taking you away from AJ a long time ago."
CHAPTER FIVE:
Shortly after you had returned to the hotel, AJ called Kevin's room and was on his way over to get you. "Oh god *******, I'm sorry" he said while wrapping his arms around you when he saw you. When he finally let go of you, he took your suitcase from Kevin and mumbled "thanks man" in a less than grateful voice. "No problem" Kevin replied as he winked at you. "You ok Ms. Champion?" Exhaustion was beginning to take over your body as you shot him a smile and nodded, but you didn't say anything. When he was satisfied that he had AJ's full attention, he deliberately kissed you on the mouth again. "Any time" he said softly, still looking at you. AJ didn't look too happy at all, but he didn't question Kevin's actions or his motives. When he finally had you alone in his room, he squeezed you tightly. "I'm so sorry" he said sincerely. It was now after 4am, and you both were so tired that you went straight to bed and immediately fell asleep. It was sometime around noon the next day when you woke up to AJ and his erection scooting up behind you in the bed. "How long have you been awake?" you mumbled as you buried your face deeper into your pillows. "Mmmmm..." was the only response that followed. "Mmmmm?" you questioned. "Mmmmm.." AJ repeated as he began to gently massage the small of your back, stirring you into a lazy awakening. Your time together was so rare and you couldn't help but wonder if AJ even realized how just the touch of his hand on your back provided you with a sense of peace and security, or if how just by one single solitary touch, he made you feel alive and loved and protected. Even though his hand was only caressing your back, the warmth spread right through to your heart. You loved him so much. As he continued to gently rub your back, you wiggled a little and enjoyed the glow as it spread through your breasts, to your belly, and down the insides of your legs. In your eyes, waking up to his love was the best. You listened to the all too familiar sounds of the hotel around you...house keeping going from door to door, the sounds of laughter in the hallway, the faint chiming of the elevator, the sound of your breathing coming into perfect unison with AJ's as you stirred to life, even the sound of the sheets rustling as AJ changed positions on the bed. Your breathing was relaxed and rhythmic, yet deeper somehow. AJ was well aware that you were now very much awake and waiting for him to make his move in an almost ritualistic silence. The intimacy the two of you shared and the arousal that you both felt in those early morning moments was intense. Those silent moments spoke in volumes, and it was as if the two of you almost felt as if you were one. AJ removed his hand from your back as he turned you over to face him, and for just a moment, you felt and empty longing. Then, once again he laid his hand upon your body, softly stroking and caressing you, and once again you were embraced by the warmth of his love and the past images of his affection. You were both extremely quiet as AJ's hands moved slowly up your spine, his face buried in your hair and his breath warm in your ear. You felt as if you could just melt right then and there. There was no resistance on your part at all as you burrowed into the cave of his throat. Your lips rubbed ever so softly over his skin as your breasts molded to his chest that was rising and falling as he breathed. He moaned with pleasure as you reached up and began to stroke the tender skin on the back of his neck, driving him crazy. In a very short time, you and AJ had become like old friends. Every intimate moment like this seemed to give you new opportunities to explore the depths of your passion for each other. Your love making was insatiable. Your first kiss was always tentative, slowly increasing in intensity as you moved through the unspoken rituals of your desires....first tiny kisses and nuzzles, tasting and biting. Then would come the deep breathing and tender urgency as you both filled with the terror of knowing that your inevitable physical unity would once again leave your hearts temporarily vulnerable. Your bodies would move together and your deepest inhibitions would fall as you both were humbled before each other. Your souls would be visible, and for that brief moment, AJ McLean and ******* ^^^^^^^ would no longer exist. You would not be separate, but one. Your bodies were begging for the ultimate release, seeking and stroking anything and everything to arouse each other. Ripples of sexual energy radiated between you as AJ's hands guided you to that position over top of him that he loved so much, your bodies grinding and pushing the whole time. AJ knew your body and it's signals quite well by now. As you drew him in, clenching and teasing, his tongue played upon your breasts. "Oh AJ" you whispered as he grabbed your erect nipple between his teeth, causing torrents of pleasure to course through you. You sank lower onto him as he pushed through your moist chamber, pushing upwards and driving into you, both of you wishing that this moment could last for all eternity. Your orgasm gripped you both in an electric current, causing AJ to use his legs to thrust even harder upwards at an even faster pace into you. A few moments later, the harmony of your love for each other coming together sent him over the edge and pushed you both into your own private little universe. You collapsed against his chest weakly, his strong arms holding you as you lingered in the throws of passion together. "*******, you know how I feel about you" AJ whispered softly. "Please believe me, I DO love you."
© Copyright 2002
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this text may be copied or
reprinted without the author's permission.
Chapters 6-10
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