I stood in the middle of the living room of the house in a suburb of Orlando where I live with my husband. As I was lost in my thoughts, a little girl ran up and grabbed my leg. I looked down at her and she smiled up at me.
"Mommy... when is daddy coming home?"
"Oh sweetie. Daddy won't be home for about two weeks," I said, leaning over and picking her up.
She took a deep breath and tried to put a hand on her hip. "How long is that?"
"That's about... ten 'Blue's Clues.'"
"That's too long! I want daddy to come home now!"
"Honey, he just walked out the door. You know daddy has to go out and sing for people." She just stared at me. "Guess what time it is?" She continued to stare. "It's time for Miss Harmony to take a nap."
She sighed. "Okay." I carried her to her room, put her in her bed and turned on her cd player. Before *N Sync was able to sing through the chorus of 'Sailing,' she was fast asleep. I leaned over, kissed her on the forehead, and stood up. For a moment, I was mesmerized by the beautiful three year old lying in front of me. She has dark blonde, naturally curly hair, long eyelashes, a perfect nose, and sparkling, bright, blue eyes.
I went to the living room and turned on the tv. The first thing I saw and heard were the Backstreet Boys. I sat for a moment, thinking about their success and the success of just about every other boy band out there that would be nothing without the hormones of young girls. I laughed to myself as I thought of how young, and often times, obsessed fans acted around groups such as Backstreet Boys, *N Sync, Hanson, 98 Degrees, and 5ive.
Then, from out of nowhere, a thought occurred to me. Eight years ago, I had been one of those female, hormone driven fans. I had posters plastered all over my walls. I had every recording made by some of these groups... including unreleased studio tracks.
I turned off the tv and ran upstairs to an extra bedroom. I opened the door and just about got knocked over by a musty smell- one of a room that had been closed for some time. I took a deep breath and entered the room, heading for the closet, but stopping once by the window to admire the perfectly manicured lawn, trimmed rosebushes, tennis court, swimming pool, and Sesame Street swing set.
I pulled myself away, went to the closet, and pulled yet another door open. I found myself at the bottom of a flight of stairs, leading to the attic. Slowly, I began to climb, all the while wondering why I was doing this. It wasn't until I reached the attic, baby monitor by my side, that I knew. I was trying to recapture part of myself that I hadn't visited for a long, long time.
Slowly, I opened the trunk and began sifting through the contents. Finally, I realized there were entirely too many things, so I took everything out, then, to put it back in, I looked at each and every item.
The first thing I picked up was a framed picture. In it, I was standing amongst five guys, at the time my favorite music group- *N Sync. I racked my brain to figure out when it was taken, but finally, I had to open the back of the frame. On the back of the photo I had written: 'December 10, 1998. St. Louis. (L to R) Joey, Chris, Justin, me, Lance, JC. See 1998 yearbook... Sarah Dawson's entry.'
A look of confusion came over me as I looked through the pile of stuff, finding my junior year yearbook. I turned through the pages trying to find Sarah Dawson's inscription. I found it and read:
Kelly,
Never forget all our memories in Spanish family. And I can't thank you enough for the *N Sync concert info. Even if you are on my hate list, good luck in everything, especially keeping awake in World History.
Sarah Dawson
I leaned back against the wall and took another look at the picture. I smiled and thought about the night that picture was taken. I was 17 years old, a senior in high school, and very excited. Who wouldn't be? I had third row seats and it was my first *N Sync concert ever. I hugged the picture and yearbook to my chest as I closed my eyes and let my mind drift to the beginning of October 1998... a little over two months before the evening of December 10. I hadn't known it at the time, but a little journey on the internet decided my destiny.
