Britney: And you too, little girl can be as sluttish as me one day!
Girl: Really Britney?
Britney: Even the most innocent girl can be 2 dollar whore...
Girl: Wow....Britney, how can I be an STD giving slut? I want to be just like you!
Britney: Don't they all? Well first you have to give up all of your morals and you inhabitations...
Girl: What are those?
Britney: You know the little voices in your head that tell you not to sleep with the Jive Head Executive for a record deal? Ignore them! They're you conscience and they’ll only get in your way on the path for greatness!
Girl: Really? I've should have known. What else Britney?
Britney: Then you have to have the sluttiest clothing. I mean stuff that even Pamela Anderson wouldn’t wear.
Girl: But Britney, I don't have enough money for it. What should I do?
Britney: Make your own! Turn a pillowcase into a tank top. Curtains make excellent faux leather..
Girl: Wow, Britney, you're sooo smart....
Britney: Well, duh..
Girl: What else? Then you have to have a rich and famous boyfriend? Right?
Britney: Of course!! Who else are you going to steal money from? Your parents? Of course not. You have to become a leeching, credit card using girlfriend.
Girl: But all the rich and famous boyfriends are taken!
Britney: Have I taught you nothing? Steal one, of course! How do you think I got Justin? Believe me, I got him in just the nick of time, he was going to go out with Beyonce, that ho....
Girl: Really? I had no idea!
Britney: Yup. Ever since I gave him that brain lobotomy. He can’t even tie his shoes by himself anymore. But now he's mine.... forever!!! *Cackles evilly* Justin: (monotone voice) No, Britney...I AM a slave 4 you.... Forever.... Forever...
Britney: See?
Girl: Wow, Britney he looks like he can roll over and fetch!
Britney: He can! Watch....Here little Ju-Ju. Go buy Britney a diamond ring….
THE END!!!