Chapter Twenty-Two

Nick stopped in his tracks as he heard the last of the conversation, "…saw Nick in their room with his wrists slashed open! He said that Nick was crying…" His face paled as he blocked out the rest.

Aaron sighed as he saw Nick's reaction to what Jackie had said. ‘So it was what he was trying to do,’ Aaron thought.

Sadie sighed, "Sorry, but… I just… can't."

Nick cleared his throat.

Jackie jumped at the sound, not daring to look at Nick's face right now.

Sadie looked up and directly at Nick. Then to Aaron and back to Nick, not knowing what they'd heard.

Aaron sighed, stunned by the awkwardness of the moment.

Nick swallowed, "We're going to McDonalds. We wanted to ask if you wanted anything." Neither responded. "Jackie?" he asked.

"Um… I'm fine."

Nick nodded. "Sadie?" he asked softly.

"Um, a large hot chocolate… would be nice…" Sadie answered, trying to read him.

Nick nodded, playing with his hands. He turned slightly. "Let's go then," he said to Aaron, not meeting his gaze.

Aaron shot a glance at Jackie, then Sadie and followed his big brother with his hands deep in his jean pockets and his head hung low.

Jackie sighed, "He heard me."

Sadie nodded, "Yeah, he did."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," she explained, "Sometimes… I just worry that Nick has too many problems. I mean… Aaron shouldn't look up to THAT."

Sadie shook her head, letting out a light chuckle. "If there's anyone on this God forsaken planet that Aaron should look up to, it's Nick. Yes, he has problems. And yes his parents sucked, and yes… he… did what he did. But he's overcome all that. And he may be… insecure now. But, he's one of the most caring, gentle, loving, considerate, heart-warming, generous, forgiving people I've ever met. If not the most," Sadie said firmly, feeling… offended.

Jackie held her ground, "Aaron shouldn't be around that. I respect that Nick has come so far on what he doesn't have, but for Christ's sake… Nick needs help and Aaron shouldn't be around that. You shouldn't be around that. Until Nick becomes normal, which we all know is never gonna happen, it's just a bad influence thing."

"You think Aaron is normal? You think fucking BJ is normal? Or Angel or Leslie or… Jane or Bob or any of the Goddamn Carters?" Sadie asked her voice raising. Who did this little girl think she was?

"Obviously not!" Jackie responded, "And he should be around THAT either! I'm just looking out for my boyfriend! I told him to come stay with me… I told him… This is getting so bad."

"So you want him to run when it gets hard?" Sadie asked.

Jackie's eyes turned hard, "No… I want Nick to run when it's hard. Away from Aaron."

Sadie just shook her head. "Those two… you know what happened… you know what Aaron saw… Did you know… Aaron convinced Nick to call 911? Did you know Aaron saved his fucking life?" Sadie whispered.

"So what? Even Jane would do that," she spat.

"You don't get it…" Sadie said standing.

"Look, Sadie. I like Nick. I like you and I like BJ. But I love Aaron. I need to know that he's safe. If he ended up like Nick… Like Nick and his little tantrums and his ‘Oh look at me, help me I'm lost’ attitude… If he ended up trying to commit suicide just cuz his life isn't going to plan, crying over the smallest things you could ever think of… Then everything Aaron could be… would be lost. Maybe Nick should tell him that."

"Yeah, well, I love Nick. And you don't know Nick… at all. You just proved that. So, you go on living the life you are with Aaron and you keep pretending to know it all. One day… something will hit you and you'll get it. Until then, I can't explain it," Sadie said, "You're too naive, you wouldn't understand."

"What the hell ever…" Jackie laughed, "Aaron tells me a lot of things, Sadie. Almost everything that Nick says to him. Nick says… you don't know him at all. He says you don't know half of what he is and one day that’s gonna hit YOU. I wonder if it'll be you or me who gets burned first. If I get burned when Nick is cured, then I'm willing to bet that you're gonna be the heartbroken one first, Sadie… PIERCE," she stressed her last name.

Sadie smiled and nodded. "Aaron tells you almost everything Nick says. Almost everything," she stated simply, "You know nothing about the relationship Nick and I have. And frankly, it's none of your business, Little Girl."

"Yeah… That's right, I'm the little girl… At least I'll be getting some tonight," she smirked, "Something tells me, Nick's not gonna be in the mood."

"Like I said, you wouldn't understand," Sadie answered, sitting back down across the waiting room from Jackie.

Jackie hadn't meant to start fighting, but she was sick of keeping that all to herself. "You gonna tell Nick about this conversation?" she asked after a few minutes.

Sadie just shrugged, "If it comes up…"

"In other words," Jackie rolled her eyes, "you'll tell Nick when he gets all teary eyed from what he just heard. Right?"

"Why do you care if I tell him?" Sadie asked, getting a little fed up with her attitude,

"You obviously don't care about him…"

"I care…" she protested, "I just think that he need to come to grips with things. He doesn't deal well and he's drawing Aaron into his friggin problems."

"He's not drawing Aaron anywhere…" Sadie stated simply.

"Oh yeah?" Jackie raised her eyebrows, crossing her legs.

Sadie just nodded, "Aaron's a big boy and makes up his own mind."

"True, but he's also sixteen. He don't need that. He don't need Nick."

Sadie chuckled softly, not saying a word.

"Fine. He needs Nick, but not all that comes along with him," she stated, "He needs a normal big brother. One that can take care of him."

"They… Jesus Christ, you're almost as bad as Jane…" Sadie muttered, "They take care of each other, they almost complete each other. I can't believe you don't get it…"

"Jane?! Don't you ever…" she growled, "Don't EVER compare me to that bitch!"

"Stop being as ignorant as she is!" Sadie countered.

"Stop it. We have different views. I could say the same thing about you, ya know," Jackie tried, "You're like Jane in ways too."

"Oh yeah? How?" Sadie asked, calling her bluff.

Jackie smiled, "You had no idea what was going on in Nick's mind either. It took you three and a half years to figure out the source of your own boyfriend's problems."

"No, it took him three and a half years for him to tell me. How long did it take Aaron to tell you?" Sadie asked.

"One year. Enough time for him to learn to trust me."

"But… didn't what happened with Aaron seeing Nick… happen like… seven years ago? Didn't he know you then? Wouldn't you have been the first person he would have gone to… hm…?" Sadie pondered out loud.

"I was nine," Jackie said dryly, "We may have been friends, but didn't even tell his sisters."

Sadie shrugged, "I guess…" She let her comment hang in the air.

"Fine," Jackie gave in, "But let me ask you a question. An honest question."

Sadie looked at her, "What?"

"How can you deal with him? With Nick, I mean. He's so… messed up. He always has been and probably always will be. How can you deal with that?"

"See, that's what you don't understand…" Sadie answered vaguely. Thinking about Nick brought a small smile to her lips.

"Oh really?" she challenged gently.

"Yep," she answered simply.

"And what, exactly, don't I understand?" Jackie asked, cocking her head.

"Unconditional love," Sadie replied, leaning back in her chair.

"Unconditional love?" Jackie questioned, "That's a fairy tale…"

"A fairy tale? Loving someone no matter who they are… what they've been through… true love… is a fairy tale?" Sadie asked, shocked.

Jackie was taken aback, "No… It's one thing to love someone for who they are… But there's no such thing as unconditional love. Sometimes, things just stand in the way."

Sadie shook her head, "I can't argue this with you. Either you understand it or you don't. And you… don't." Sadie shrugged and leaned back in her chair, wishing she wasn't stuck here with Jackie.

"Fine," she stated, standing, "I can tell you're irritated with me. But I know that part of you knows I'm somewhat right. I'm just gonna go take a walk by myself. I'll be back in an hour."

Sadie shrugged.

Jackie snickered and walked away.