Chapter Fifteen

Nick watched Julia's happy family walk into their room and glanced back at Sadie. Since the van ride, she wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Um," he started, "It's not too late… We could… uh… get a movie off of pay-per-view if you wanted."

She just shrugged, "If you want. I'll just gonna relax." She watched, waiting for him to open the door.

He stood there, key in hand, "Relax… right okay. I'll… I'm gonna go get a book actually… from the gift shop."

"Okay, open the door first?" she asked quietly, camera bags in hand.

"O-oh…" he stuttered. He slipped the key card in the slot and opened it before walking away.

Sadie sighed and held the door open with her butt. Setting her bags on the floor before walking into the room. She stripped down to her panties before slipping a nightgown on.

Nick paced the down stairs lobby, not really wanting to go back up there. He'd already picked up some book that looked semi interesting, but knew he had to face her again. How could he? And he had to sleep in the same bed? Nope… He shook his head, sadly. That wouldn't work.

Not having the patience for the elevator, he took the steps two at a time and quietly made his way into the expensive hotel room.

"What did you buy?" Sadie asked as she brushed out her long, blond hair.

"Some shitty book to pass time," he mumbled.

"Oh… Are we going to get a movie or not?" she asked, trying not to dwell on the events of the day.

His head whipped around to look at her. His stare was a little cold, "I thought you didn't want to."

"I said it didn't really matter. If you get a movie and I want to see it, I'll watch. If you get a movie I don’t want to watch, I'll lie here and try to sleep. If you don’t get a movie, I'll sleep," she explained.

He looked away. "The only reason I wanted to get a movie was so I could watch it with you," he confessed softly, "Otherwise… I was gonna read."

She blushed softly, "What movies are they offering?"

He shrugged and stretched out on the couch, "Check. I don't care anymore."

"Fine, I'm going to sleep," Sadie stated in monotone, slipping under the covers.

"Fine," he spoke, "Me too." He reached over and turned off the lamp, the only source of light in the room. Pulling a blanket over his body, he tried to become comfortable on the hard piece of furniture.

She laid there silently for a few minutes, hearing him shuffling. "Nick…" she sighed, "Come sleep in the bed."

"No… thank you," he grumbled.

"Nick, you can't sleep there. I thought we decided earlier you'd sleep in the bed," she reminded him.

"And I decided about ten minutes ago that I couldn't do it," he stated.

"Nick!" she called out in frustration, "Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Because I'm angry, hurt, and upset. That's why," he said slowly, "You should know what kinda things trigger my mood swings by now. If you don't, then we gotta whole other problem to deal with…"

She sighed, "Why ARE you being so stubborn?"

Nick clenched his fist in a pillow, "I just told you, Sadie."

"Whatever, Nick… Suffer then."

Nick sighed lightly, "You act like I wanna…"

Sadie felt the tears spring to her eyes again. She stood and walked over to the couch and laid… or tried, rather… to lay down next to him, needing to feel him close. To reassure her, but she knew he wouldn't do that.

"What the hell, Sadie?" he exclaimed, accidentally pushing her off the sofa with his arm.

She sat on the floor and glared at him momentarily before looking away. She felt the tears well up in her eyes again and felt so small sitting there.

Nick looked at the girl sitting in front of him and felt his heart melt, "I'm sorry, Sadie. Are you crying?" He offered a hand up to sit next to him.

She looked at him before taking it. She sat on the couch with him silently.

He spoke softly, "Are you?"

"Trying not to…" she whispered, looking away from him.

"So then you are," he confirmed. He gently raised her head to look at him, "What were you doing?"

She just shrugged. She didn't even really know.

"Girl…" he rubbed under her eyes with his thumb, "Go back to bed, okay?"

"I can't," she stated.

"Why not?" he sighed, slightly annoyed, "I'm tired… You're tired… We need to sleep, Miss Pierce."

"Stop calling me that!" she shouted, slapping his hands away.

Nick jumped and scooted over a bit, giving her some room. "S-sorry… I didn't know it bothered you," he whispered.

She just pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, not moving.

He shook his head, very confused. "Are you…" he swallowed, "okay?"

"I don't know, but if you're not sleeping in the bed, I'm not," Sadie stated firmly.

"What? Sadie, that's insane!" he stood up and pointed, "Go! You're sleeping there!"

"No, I'm not," she insisted, sitting there, her face buried in her knees.

He tugged on her arm, "Yes, you are!"

"Don't tell me what to do. I said, I'm not sleeping in that bed. Why should I get a good night’s sleep? I caused this!" Her voice rose in volume.

"Caused this? CAUSED WHAT?! I JUST WANT TO SLEEP NOW!" he cried in frustration, "You're confusing the HELL outta me, Miss Pier…" He stopped, "Sadie…"

"THEN GO TO BED!" she screamed, pointing to the huge bed.

"NO!" he pulled her to her feet and threw her over his shoulder. With her kicking and screaming the whole way, he walked to the bed and plopped her down. "There! Now, I'll go to bed!" he went back to the couch, collapsing with a sigh, "You do the same…"

She sat up, hating that he thought he could tell her what to do and threw the pillow to the floor. She climbed from the bed and laid on the pillow, bringing a blanket with her. "Good night," she stated from the floor.

Nick stood up and stomped his foot in frustration. He got his own blanket and stepped to where she was laying. Lying down beside her, he rolled on his side to face her. "Good night," he muttered. He had to get a reaction somehow.

"Good night," she rolled so her back was to him. If he wasn’t sleeping in the bed, neither was she.

A few minutes passed with neither of them falling asleep. "STOP IT!" he screamed, suddenly.

"STOP WHAT?!" Sadie screamed in response.

"Stop it! You're being such a…" he trailed off.

"Such a what, Nick? Such a bitch?" she asked lying there.

"I need a… a… something," he replied quietly, sitting up. He silently put his robe on and grabbed a key.

"Walking away…" she sighed as she pulled the blanket up to her chin and buried her face in her pillow.

Nick stopped in the doorway and turned around. Shutting the door, he walked back over to her. Pulling the covers off her body, he stared directly at her, "What… if you could have me do anything… What would you have me do right now? Say something I'll regret? Say something that could hurt you? Wound our relationship even more than it is? What? What do you WANT me to do, Sadie Pierce?"

"Something! DO something!" she stated, standing up.

"WHAT?!" he pulled at his hair.

"I want you to deal! You never deal! Ever! You just… hold it inside! Say something! Regret nothing!" she screamed.

He shook his head, "I can't do that…"

"Why the hell not?" she asked.

"Because it'll hurt too much!" he turned around, "Whenever I speak what I want… how I want… it hurts me and, more importantly, it hurts the people I love!"

"Hurt me, Nick, because I need to feel… SOMETHING!" she glared at him.

Nick looked at her, his face unreadable, "You want me to hurt you? Really hurt you? Not physically… but mentally? No, I don't think so."

"I want… some… something, Nick," she informed.

"What do you want?" he suddenly became enraged, "Seriously, what the HELL do you want?! Money? Got that… Fame? Check! Support? Yep… Security? There TOO! At least I thought so before this shit! What the hell else can I give you? I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING! Do you understand? I GIVE you EVERYTHING you ask for! ANYTHING!"

"Yeah, you do," she nodded. She was glad he was letting out some of his rage, rage she knew she caused.

"Don't."

"What?" she asked.

"Don't agree," he rubbed his neck roughly, trying to work out tension, "It just confuses me. Just tell me what the hell you want… or need… or need to talk about… or… sleep on… or… shit whatever."

She just looked at him, "Why is it always about me? Maybe it's you that needs to talk about something."

He gave her a sharp look, "What do I have to talk about? My life… equals shit. That's that. Okay? Next topic."

"That's not it," she said, taking a cautious step towards him, "You always talk, but you never say anything. Julia still knows more about you than I do… and… that hurts. Maybe what I want from you is a little trust and… some understanding. I'm not sure anymore. Don't talk, Nick. Tell me something." Tears filled her eyes.

Nick almost wanted to run away, not liking the way she was approaching this. He took a step back, "What do you want me to tell you?"

"Whatever you want to say!" Sadie cried. This time she was frustrated as she ran a hand through her hair.

Staring at her for a couple of minutes, he built up his courage before asking a strange question. "Why… Why wouldn't you… just… watch a…" he stopped, flustered and embarrassed.

"What?"

His hands shook slightly. Damn… why was this so hard? "A… a movie. I asked you to watch a movie and you…" he trailed off.

"And…?" she asked, not sure why that had upset him so much.

"You," he gulped, "didn't seem to want to. It didn't seem as important to you as… to me."

"It was a movie," she stated simply.

"Yeah…" he whispered, "You're right. I'm gonna take a shower."

"NO!" she yelled, "Get over here and talk to me about this!"

Nick froze, almost scared. He didn't move, his back to Sadie.

"All I want is you to help me understand. That's all. Because that's what we're missing in this relationship. Understanding," she said to his back, "Talk to me. SAY something… something REAL."

His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke, "It was important to me."

"Why?" she whispered as tears filled her eyes.

"Cuz…" he bit his lip, still not being able to turn around and face her, "I… just… I want to spend time with you. Start over… and I thought…" He cursed softly as he got worked up, "I just thought that we'd be able to… bond… or something… and… you didn't want to… and… I…"

Sadie's heart broke at his words. "God Nick, I'm so sorry…" she muttered, "I was tired. It’s been a long and emotional day. I didn't even think I'd be able to stay up through a movie. I didn't mean to hurt you." She walked towards him again until she was standing about two steps away, his back still towards her.

He nodded, wringing his hands and searching the carpet for something to look at, "I know."

She sighed, not saying anything. "What do you want right now? For once, we're not going to focus on me. What do YOU want?"

Though Sadie couldn't see him, Nick smiled lightly. "I want to sleep."

"Then go to sleep," she stated simply, waiting to see how he'd react.

He carefully stepped around her, avoiding her gaze and headed toward the couch.

"Get in the damn bed!" she screamed.

Nick jumped with a gasp and whirled to face the small woman. "I… I…" he gave her a look, "I can't deal with that, okay? Just… let me sleep here and we'll get a new room tomorrow anyway."

"No," she stated, "Then I'm sleeping on the floor."

Nick looked much like a child as he stomped his foot and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

"I won't be able to sleep in that huge ass bed knowing you're on the couch. Get in the bed," she stated, pointing much like he had earlier.

He gave in, plopping down and crawling under the covers. He stayed as close to the edge of his side as possible, not wanting to have to feel her near. He rolled to his side and stared at the wall, wide eyed.

Sadie sighed and shaking her head, grabbed her pillow and the blankets from the floor. She climbed into the bed and laid on top of the bedspread, covering herself with the extra blanket. Her back was to him.

Nick felt the day rush up to him as he trembled. He struggled to keep a hold of his emotions, not wanting to upset Sadie or get her attention. He hugged his pillow, wishing it could be her. If only she knew what he wanted to say… what he needed to tell her… what questions he was afraid to ask. If she only knew why he always ran away. A quick single sob escaped before he could stop it, but he covered his mouth with his palm.

Sadie sighed, not knowing what he was thinking, but wishing she did. She rolled on to her back, closing some of the distance between them and turned her head to look at him. Why wouldn't he talk to her? He had no problem talking to Julia. She looked up at the ceiling and stared.

Nick wasn't sure what to do. His eyes filled with tears again and he whimpered.

Sadie looked back to Nick as she heard him cry, "Why Nicky?" She whispered her only question, hoping for an answer.

He gave a little cough and tried to hide his emotions, "Why what?"

"Why are you hiding from me?"

"I'm not hiding from you," he whispered.

"So now you lie," she stated simply, watching his back.

His body quivered as he tried his best to curl into a ball, "I never lie."

Sadie just watched him, shaking her head lightly and rolling so her back was to him. She didn't know what he wanted, but she was trying here and he wasn't making it easy on her.

Nick's voice was soft, "I'm just upset. I'm allowed to be upset… aren't I?" He wasn't being a smart ass. It was a serious question.

"Yep," she stated, "Good night, Nick." Her eyes closed, and she was ready to let sleep take over. She was done for tonight being physically and emotionally exhausted.

He shook his head and wiggled a bit to get comfortable. He wasn't used to sleeping without Sadie wrapped around him, squeezing the life out. He smiled lightly at the thought, but soon remembered their situation and frowned. Sighing, he closed his eyes and felt sleep upon him. ‘Good night, Sadie Carter…’ he thought, ‘I love you.’

Sadie curled into a ball and as she dosed off she whispered, "I love you, Nick…"