Chapter Thirteen

Julia looked around the arena. It was huge, one of the biggest the boys had ever played. She walked around the stage and bumped into Nick, "Oh sorry."

He smiled softly and kept walking. Julia shook it off and sat on the edge of the stage while everyone else joked around.

Nick watched Sadie sitting and watching everything unfold around her. He smiled. She was beautiful.

Sadie felt eyes on her. Glancing around, her eyes landed on her… Nick, staring straight at her. She looked back, innocently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She quickly got up to check out backstage.

Nick sighed. "Let's get this shit over with," he suggested.

"What's up, Bro?" Brian asked, "You usually don't mind sound checks."

"I'm tired," he answered simply.

"Long night with Sadie?" he asked, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows, "Don't worry about that, Man… You KNOW there's always time for that after shows. You're full of energy…"

"No…" Nick answered, shooting him a dirty look.

Brian was slightly hurt, "I'm sorry, Nick." He walked to go talk to Kevin.

He just sighed and laid back on the stage, his legs hanging off.

AJ chuckled at Nick's position, "Ya know… If that's how it is, I can go get-"

"Will everyone stop?!" he screamed, covering his face with his hands.

His four band mates and the majority of the dancers paused with what they were doing, all curious about his outburst.

His ‘brothers’ crowded around him. "What's wrong, Bro? You okay, Nick? Wanna talk about it? What'd he say? You in trouble?"

Sadie heard the noise and stopped in her tracks as she was walking back into the arena.

"Goddamn it!" he screamed, "No! I don't want to talk about it! Jesus Christ! Let's just get what we have to get done, done!"

Sadie tensed and quickly walked in to take a seat, hoping no one noticed. She knew it'd be strange to them that she didn't rush to his side as she would usually.

Julia watched everything and slowly, it started to click. They didn't work it out yesterday. "Okay, Guys!" she demanded, standing and clapping, "Let's run through the first three songs." She'd been left in charge by Fatima.

Nick sat up as his band mates walked away worriedly. He shot Julia a grateful glance before she counted out the steps for the first song, ‘Everyone.’

Sadie watched Nick dance with his partner. For height reasons, it was usually Julia, but for this song, he was matched up with a girl named Diane. She'd always hated Diane. It was obvious to everyone, including Sadie, that she wanted Nick very much. Right now, Diane could feel the tension between the couple and was loving it. Sadie's eyes widened as she watched Diane's hands trail up her man's chest… and she couldn't do anything about it.

Nick watched Sadie as he danced with Diane. He hated her almost as much as Sadie did. He sighed, wishing this song would end.

Diane turned from to Nick, grinding back into him, a move she'd added herself way back when. She couldn't help, but notice Nicky's little girlfriend staring at them and made sure to give Nick's groin one more little bump with her ass.

Nick rolled his eyes and sighed as he sang his part. He avoided all stares from the guys, from Diane, and most of all from Sadie.

As Diane pulled Nick to her body, Sadie had had enough. She threw her bag to ground and stomped out. To her, Nick had seemed a little too willing.

Nick stopped and pushed himself away from Diane causing her to land on her bottom. He walked backstage, not knowing whether or not to follow Sadie.

Julia fumed. "Diane!" she yelled, "Follow the routine. No more adding moves here and there. Understood?”

Diane rolled her eyes. "Why, Jules? Jealous? He liked it," she smirked, "I was up against a sensitive part of his body."

Julia shot her a warning glance, "Don’t think you can't be replaced. Follow the routine, or your out."

"Fine," she held up her hands, "It's not my fault he's not content."

"Diane, you're a dancer. You're not here to psychoanalyze personal relationships on this tour. You dance. That's all," Julia stated her job.

"And Sadie's the photographer… I guess that's all she's good at if Nick's this upset," she took a chug of her water.

AJ stepped in, "Here's the translation of what my dear wife just said, Diane. Fuck off, Whore!"

"Are you going to let him talk to me like that?" Diane asked Julia.

"Well, he is the boss," Julia said matter-of-factly. "I'll be back," she said and went back stage to find Nick.

Sadie had been standing behind the curtain the whole time. She'd heard everything. What did Diane mean, ‘He liked it’? Nick didn't get… did he…? She felt someone behind her.

"Sadie?" Julia asked softly.

Sadie whipped around, "Julia! What… what are you… Uh, hi."

"You okay?" Julia asked.

She looked away. "Yeah, I'm fine," she responded dully.

"You lie like Nick. If you don't want to talk about it, I understand," Julia said, walking away.

"Go find Nick," she requested, "He… he probably needs to talk."

"Okay," Julia stated and walked towards backstage.

She saw Nick sitting on some crates with his head in his hands. She walked over to him, standing there looking at him.

"I know you're there, Jules…" He didn't move.

"Okay, want me to go away?" she offered.

"No."

"Okay," she said, pulling up another crate and sitting down, waiting.

"We broke up," he stated, still unmoving.

"I figured… What happened?" she asked watching him.

"I…" he finally let his head raise slightly, "I dumped her."

"Why?" she asked, not expecting that to have been his answer.

"We need this. I figured it out. We need it to figure out what we really want… What's really important to us," he whispered, "It's not forever… at least it's not supposed to be, but who knows. The minimum is three months. Until the end of the tour."

Julia nodded, "I see. Sounds to me like you made the right decision."

"Really?" he asked hopefully, his eyes bright.

She nodded, "Yeah."

He lowered his pitch sadly, "Good. I guess I should go find Sadie, huh?"

"She was behind the curtain last I saw her," she nodded with a small smile.

"Alright."

Nick stood, and so did Julia. He hugged her lightly and went to find Sadie. He saw her standing at the side of the stage watching the rest of the guys go over the songs. "Hey…" he said softly.

She didn't turn, "Hi…"

He stood behind her, a good five steps away with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "You like it so far?" he asked.

"The dances are interesting," she spat.

Nick inhaled sharply. "Yeah," he answered, soaking up any emotion she sent his way, even if it was negative.

Sadie shook her head at his uneasiness, "We break up and suddenly you stop saying what you feel. Figures…"

"What I feel?" he asked.

"You didn't want to answer ‘yeah’ to that comment, Nick," she stated, still not looking at him.

"I wanted to say that I dislike Diane just as much as you do, and that all that was not appreciated on my part," Nick said quickly, surprised she'd read through him like that.

"I know…" she sighed, "I knew your answer by the tone you used."

"Okay…" he said softly.

"The real question is… do I believe you?" she whispered.

"If you can't trust me… I don't know what else to say to you," he answered offended.

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's that I don't know whether or not to believe her."

"Believe her? Why would you believe anything she said?" he asked, now confused.

"I wouldn't… Except… I was standing back here and Diane said that," she blushed, "you liked it. As in… you ‘liked’ the attention."

"Sadie," he sighed, "Look at me. Please?”

"Why?" she asked, not seeing a good reason.

"You know me," he answered, "Look at me and tell me if I enjoyed that."

She took a deep breath and turned around. She took one look up his body and landed on his stressed face. No, he hadn't like it at all. Yet, he was still gorgeous. "You're so beautiful…" She swallowed as she realized she'd said that out loud, "Sorry…"

He blushed and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry," he replied. Maybe this had been a bad idea. He thought… no… they needed this. Didn't they?

"For what?" Sadie asked, cocking her head.

"Making you… making us… making this so hard," he answered. This tour was supposed to be the best tour ever because she was there. Now, it was tainted.

She shrugged, not exactly accepting his apology, "Things don't always work out as planned."

He just chuckled. Wasn't that his line? "I better get back out there…" he stated.

"Yeah… Diane's waiting," she stated with little emotion. She turned again so she wouldn't have to look at his face.

"Whatever, Sadie." He was done. She would think what she wanted to think anyway. He brushed passed her and went to his spot on stage.

Sadie continued to watch from backstage.

Diane took her place as Nick walked back, "Well, well, Nickers… What was that about? Lover's tiff? Or just having a quickie?"

"A quickie… cuz you just couldn't do it for me," Nick answered.

"Ouch," Diane pouted, "But point taken. So who'd you go to? You're little girly friend couldn't have pulled it off…"

"Diane, shut the fuck up," he muttered simply.

"Sure thing, Babe," she winked, "Let's get into ‘position.’"

So they did and they danced.

"Sadie's a better free style dancer," Nick said towards the end of the song, "A better dancer, and ten times the woman you'll ever be."

"You're in the mood for defending her today, ain't ya, Nicky?" Diane replied, not missing a beat, "You guys must be really going through some shit. If ya'll break up, give me a ring. I may not be a good relationship, but I'll give you a good fuck."

"Sorry, but sloppy seconds ain’t my style," Nick replied.

"Then why'd you go for Julia?" she shot.

"She's not dirty like some girls are," Nick replied, hoping he’d it a nerve so she'd stop. He always had to have the last word.

"Yeah, I agree totally," Diane smiled, "Sadie wasn't the best choice either."

They came to a part where they had to grind into each other and Nick did. So hard that Diane lost her footing and fell on her butt. "See? You just can't handle it," Nick smirked as he walked away, "I'm done for now." He started walking towards an exit.

Diane stared hatefully after him. "Well… If that's how you have sex, I feel bad for Sadie! Had to be hell the first time you slammed into her virgin cunt!" she yelled after. She really was a bitch.

"What the fu-" Nick started, but Sadie came walking out from backstage.

"Get up! Get the fuck up so I can knock you down again!" Sadie demanded of Diane.

Diane sneered and stood up, "Be my guest."

AJ grabbed Sadie's arms she started toward the dancer, "Sadie, she's not worth it."

"Fuck you, AJ! You don't know shit! Let me go!" she screamed, "How can you let her say shit like that about people and get away with it? It's not right! She needs to get the shit kicked out of her!" Sadie struggled, trying to get away from AJ's grasp.

"Sadie, stop!" AJ pleaded, "You wanna keep your job? Stop. She's about ten seconds from losing hers… Don't be in the same boat." He looked helplessly at the wide-eyed Nick.

"Sadie-" Nick started.

"Shut the fuck up, Nick," she spat calmly, "I'm done. Let me go."

AJ hesitantly let go of the girl’s arms, not sure of what was going to happen.

Sadie stomped forward. "Fire me!" she exclaimed, punching Diane square in the jaw.

Diane stumbled back, clutching her face. She looked at the small girl in front of her. "You fucking whore… You good for nothing, fucking whore. He liked it. I can tell you first hand. I felt it," she slapped her thigh, "right here. He's a big, big boy."

Sadie tried her hardest to not let it get to her, but it was a painful thing to hear. "You're lying…" she stated.

"Oh yeah…" Diane smirked, "Doesn’t look like you believe that."

Sadie turned and met the faces of her friends, peers and finally Nick Carter.

"Sadie…" Nick just said.

Julia shook her head. She'd let this go way too far.

Sadie looked as if she was about to burst into tears, but she said nothing.

‘What the hell is going on?’ AJ wondered.

"Sadie… please… We talked about this…" Nick reminded.

"That's enough!" Julia interceded, "Go back to the hotel. Work out your shit, and be back here by 5:30. Understood?"

Everyone nodded and started out. Sadie silently walked off stage to pick up the things she'd dropped.

Nick just sighed, "Sadie, will you listen to me?"

Julia took AJ's hand and walked away with him, sighing.

"If you're worth hearing," Sadie replied, barely audible, "I… I'm in so much pain right now, Nick."

"I know and I wish… Tell me what to do to take the pain away. I'll do anything," he begged.

"Take back the last five months of our relationship," she suggested.

Nick’s heart broke with that statement, "You know what, Sadie? We've had our ups and downs, but I've never regretted a minute of it. Obviously, you have."

"I don't regret it," she stated, wiping a tear off her cheek, "I just want to go back to before all this shit started!"

"What shit?" he asked, hating seeing her in pain, even worse knowing he'd caused it.

"Nick!" she yelled, "We BROKE UP!"

"NOT FIVE MONTHS AGO!" he yelled back.

"We should have!" Sadie responded before thinking. She gasped and reached a hand out to him, "Oh God… No… Nick, I didn't mean that…"

Nick said nothing, turning and walking away.

Sadie frantically fought to catch up with him, “Nick! Nick, please! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it!”

"What?! What did you mean then?! Huh?!"

"I don't know," she whispered, taking a step toward him, "I don't know… I promise I don't know…"

"Sadie, this is crazy," he said softly, "We're not even together and we're killing each other."

"What should we do?" she asked him desperately.

"Where did it start going bad?" he whispered, trying to find the root of the problem.

She looked away and didn't answer.

"Hm…?" he asked, "Do you know? If I know, maybe we can fix this."

Sadie once again, remained silent.

Nick fell to his knees in front of her, whispering the words she’d sang to him a few nights ago. His head lowered, "Girl, if only I knew what I've done… You know, so why don't you tell me?"

Sadie trembled, "Yes, I know… But I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Then tell me so I can fix it!" he begged, "Sadie, I can't go on living like this!"

"When you asked me, Nicky…" she cried softly, "It all started the first time I said ‘no’."

Tears spilled from his eyes and he closed them, dropping his head, "Why did you say no? That's all I want to know. Why did you refuse me?" He'd known that answer was coming. He knew it was the marriage thing. He just didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to admit that it was his fault.

"Nicky…" she hugged his head to her stomach, "I don't want to say no… I don't want to break your heart. I love you. It's just… not the right time for us."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and sobbed, "God, I love you so much! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry, Baby…" she whispered, "You love me… That's why you do it."

"I do… I do… so much!" he cried out. "This whole break thing was such a bad idea!" he decided as he felt himself so close to her and not an ounce of awkwardness.

Sadie sighed, knowing this would be hard, "No, it wasn't, Nicky..."

"You really think so?" he asked, looking up at her.

She hoped this didn't hurt, "Yes… We need this to see if… this is what we really want."

"No… YOU need to see if this is what YOU want," he finished.

Her grip on him weakened a little, "What does… that mean?"

Nick just sighed, "Nothing. I just… nothing."

"No, you tell me," she demanded, taking a step back.

"I know this is what I want," he said simply.

Sadie shook her head, "So this is MY fault?"

"No, I'm the one who suggested a break. It's both our fault," he supplied.

She looked at him, "You think I didn't want us to work? You think I WANTED to break up, Nick?"

"You said no," he reminded her.

Sadie's jaw slacked, but she recovered with a huff of her chest, "That's right, Nicky. I guess, I did."

Nick sighed and let her go. "Three months," he muttered, getting up and walking away.

"THAT'S RIGHT, NICK!" she called to his retreating form, "Always walk away from what you don't want to deal with! Right, Nick?!"

He turned around. "What do you want me to do Sadie? Huh? What more can I say?" he asked with a shrug of his shoulders, his arms open for suggestion, "Tell me."

She looked at him like he'd grown another head, "Nothing…" She shook her head and grabbed her hair in frustration, "Absolutely nothing." She finished picking up her things, "I'll see you later."

"Sure," he walked away and out the door, "Great…"

Sadie watched him walk out and followed at a safe distance behind. Hailing a taxi, he instructed the driver to take her to the nearest coffee shop. She smiled as she realized she hadn't told Nick where she was going. She hoped he worried his ass off.