Chapter Ten

Nick set the bags down and flopped on ‘his’ couch. He'd picked out most of the furnishings and decor himself, "Here it is…" He realized this was her first time on his or any tour bus.

Sadie looked around. It was bigger than she'd expected. "Nice…" she said softly. She caught sight of a calendar hanging up by the phone that linked the buses, "Playboy?"

Nick's eyes got wide, "Uh… well… It's Bone's! Not mine!"

She looked at him crookedly, "So where's the first stop?"

Walking up and tearing the calendar down, he answered, "Um… Atlanta, I think."

She smiled at him. "It could have stayed there. Not a big deal," she stated simply, sitting down on the couch.

He blushed, "Yeah… so… wanna… do… something?"

"What do you have in mind?" she asked, looking around the bus.

"Um… well… I could give you a tour," Nick suggested, "It's pretty self explanatory, but…"

"But?" she asked softly, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

He looked at her coyly, "What're you doing…?"

"Is it hot in here?" Sadie asked, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck.

"Um… It's getting there," he smirked, opening his legs slightly, "What're you doing?"

She reached to the bottom of her shirt and lifted it above her head. She half-smiled at him, "I'm trying to get a little more comfortable. Maybe we can uh… christen this bus…" She stood and walked over to him, running her hands down his chest and stopping right above his crotch. She leaned up to his ear and whispered, "Whatta ya think?" She took his ear lobe into her mouth, sucking lightly before biting down gently.

Nick moaned and his body went weak. His ear, Sadie always dove straight for his hot spots. "I'm… I'm thinking that…" he panted.

"That?" she asked, trailing her tongue down his neck and stopping on his pulse, sucking softly.

Nick braced his hands on her waist, "That… Oh God, please don't hate me…" He whimpered, "That feels so good, Sadie… but we can't. Stop. We gotta stop."

She sighed and stopped. "Why?" she asked softly, disappointed.

He smiled weakly at her, his body trembling, "Because… management is gonna be coming around here in a few minutes to make sure everything’s in order." He leaned his forehead on hers, "Don't worry, Baby… I want to… so bad."

She sighed and kissed his nose, "Wanna watch TV then? Until management comes and goes?"

"Um…" he gave her a sly smirk, "Wanna… play Nintendo?"

She chuckled, "Sure." She pulled away from him, picking up her shirt. "What do you wanna play?" she asked as she put it back on.

"Whatever's in there…" he shrugged, plopping on the floor.

Sadie looked at him funny, pulling out Mario Kart and setting it up.

He rolled his eyes, "Fine…"

"What?! You said whatever's in there!" she laughed.

Nick raised an eyebrow, pulling her down next to him, "I'm gonna kick your ass…"

"Probably!"

He smiled.

The two shared a few games, Nick winning them all. They were just about to start the next game when there was a knock. Nick nodded to Sadie.

"What?" she asked.

Nick sighed and got up, "That was my tactful way of asking you to answer the door." He shared a small conversation with whomever it was outside. It was too quiet for Sadie to hear, but soon he shut the door and turned around. He crossed his arms over his chest, "We'll be leaving in a few minutes…"

"Everything okay?" she looked up.

"Yep, fine… We're just supposed to be careful. I'm not supposed to be seen too often with you. Julia and AJ had some problems on the way in…"

"Oh… what kind of problems?" she asked, shutting off the TV.

"The fans," he muttered looking away, "They called Julia… some things. No big deal, I guess."

She watched him. Getting up, she moved from the floor of the bus and opened her arms to him. "Hug me?" she requested.

Nick sighed and embraced her tightly, "I'm so sorry if that happens to you, Baby… Just promise that you'll tell me when… if it happens."

"I promise," she whispered. "It doesn't matter though, what they think… I don't care, because I love you."

He straightened a little bit, but forced his smart comment back, hoping she hadn't noticed. Don't care what others think, his ass. "I love you too."

Sadie sighed and stayed quiet. She could never say the right thing.

He pulled back and kissed her lightly, "So…"

She smiled. "So…" she repeated, running her hands through his hair.

Nick closed his eyes. The bus started moving and took him by surprise. He ended up falling on the couch, Sadie landing on top of him.

"Interesting position we find ourselves in now, huh?" she asked smiling.

His face lit up, "Uh huh… Very interesting… Now what, Lil Miss Sadie?"

"I believe…" she whispered missing his lips shortly, "We were…" She moved to his chin, "right about…" She kissed along his jaw line. "Here," she breathed as she found his pulse spot again, teasing him with her tongue.

Nick's tummy got butterflies as his hands groped at her shirt, "We were here too…"

"Were we?" she asked, smiling before sitting up to remove her shirt.

"Hell yes," Nick whispered, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. His hands immediately went for her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over the nipples.

She moaned and rubbed her hands on his chest. She reached down to the hem of his shirt and lifted it above his head.

Nick reached down to wrap an arm around his stomach. He was a little self-conscience because it was broad daylight. She could see everything.

"Nicky…" she smiled softly and moved his arm, sliding down to place kisses on his tummy.

His body shuddered, his tummy being so sensitive. He'd gotten better with the whole admitting that he was beautiful thing, but he still rarely let her touch his stomach with actual caresses like this. His hands went to Sadie's hair and he attempted to pull her back up, attempting to distract her.

"No, no, no…" she reprimanded, shooing his hands away. She continued to gently kiss his tummy before smiling and moving back up to his lips, "I love every inch of you…”

He smiled shyly, blushing a little. "Even the few extra inches around my waist?" he asked softly.

"Every inch…" she repeated, moving her hand down his stomach again, "EVERY inch…" She grinned as she placed her hand on his growing bulge, massaging gently.

"Oh damn…" he bit his lip, "I like those inches too. I love them actually…"

"Funny, me too…" She undid his pants and slid her hand in, gripping him tightly before loosening her grip slightly and moving her hand along his shaft.

He groaned loudly as his head dropped onto the back of the sofa. He bucked his hips and clasped the couch material in his fists. "Please, don't stop," he begged.

But she did and Sadie stood, getting off him. She went to his feet, pulling his pants by the bottoms until they hit the floor. Then she reached up, removing his boxers.

Nick whimpered and pouted at her even as his clothes were being taken off. He looked wounded, "I asked you not to stop…"

Sadie smiled and slowly removed her pants and let them fall to the floor. She stepped out of them and kicked them to the side of the room, her panties joining them. Moving to the couch again, she laid Nick down and sat on his tummy. She could feel his erection at her back, and she looked down at him and bit her lip.

His eyes closed a little bit, waiting for something to happen. But nothing did, she just sat there. Being Nick, he began to get concerned, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just love how you look like this." She smiled, kissing his lips passionately.

He responded greedily, wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her closer. He leaned to whisper in her ear, "Let me make love to you?"

Her heart fluttered, "Please?" It felt like forever since they had… She needed it just as much as he did.

Nick nodded and sat up to lay down again with him on top. He gasped and locked eyes with her as he slowly thrust in.

She kept his gaze and sighed at the familiar feelings that rushed through her. She reached her head up and kissed his lips again. "I love you," was murmured into that kiss.

He didn't respond, but smiled at her as he started with a slow pace. It seemed like it had been years since they'd been able to do this… properly. His back shivered as he felt her short nails running up and down.

She moved her hips to meet his and her hands worked his back. She scratched up into his hair then down to his butt. She couldn't help, but moan at the way he made her feel. Why couldn't she just say yes?

Nick’s body wasn't sure whether to press into the hands on his ass or thrust harder into his girlfriend's center. He quickened his motions as his need built.

"Oh God, Nick…" she moaned softly, her orgasm was closing in on her. His quickened pace was driving her insane.

"Sadie," he whined, "I'm gonna… I gotta…" He felt the bus make a sharp turn and yelped as he almost fell off. He giggled down at her, his body jumping lightly before burying his face in her neck, "SHIT!"

She chuckled at him and felt him explode in her. That alone brought her to her peak. She groaned as she went over the edge, gasping for air and clinging to his body.

He breathed hard. He put all his weight on her body, just hoping he wasn't killing her. That was incredible. He was exhausted.

Sadie felt tears clinging to her eyes, but she brushed them aside. "I love you… so much Nick…" she stated in a whisper, not even sure if he'd even heard her or if she wanted him to.

But Nick had heard and he raised his head at the tone in her voice. He noticed her tears, "I love you too, Baby. What's wrong? You okay?"

She just shook head and kissed his forehead, "You believe that I love you… right?"

He looked at her questionably. "Yes…" he responded slowly, "What're you trying to get at, Sadie?"

"I'm not trying to get at anything. It just seems that with everything that’s been going on, I'm afraid you don't believe when I say that. But I do… I love you more than anything," Sadie stated matter-of-factly.

Nick looked doubtful, but nodded. "I love you too, Sadie. I don't put you through hell on purpose."

"I know and I don't hurt you on purpose. Promise me you don't doubt the way I feel?" She still clung to him.

He wasn't sure how to promise that without lying, "I don't doubt you right now." And that was the truth. Now, how he'd felt in the past or would in the future was a different story.

She just sighed, not knowing what to say.

Nick kissed her forehead, "What are you thinking about?"

"We're going to be okay… right?" she asked softly, not sure how'd he react.

His body tightened up as he closed his eyes. He didn't know she'd been thinking about that too, "I hope so." He didn't want to lie.

Sadie stayed quiet, wrapping the blanket -thrown to the floor for their video game playing- around his body and just held him close to her. She was afraid to realize that in reality, he was slipping away.

Nick knew she was upset. He didn't know how to fix it though. He couldn't help the way he felt and he couldn't stop this from happening. It killed him to think of losing Sadie… of Sadie losing him, but there was nothing he could do anymore. Nick kissed her lips, lingering there.

"I can't lose this…" she answered to his kiss.

He sighed heavily. "Oh, trust me…" he told her gently, "It's an easy thing to lose."

She looked into his eyes, "What?"

He smiled sadly, "It's an easy thing to lose… love… It's simple and Baby… We're well on our way. We're falling apart and you know it."

"I do know it," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears and looking away from his face.

Nick glanced the other way, not knowing what to do. "I don't know…" his voice choked, "how long I can… deal with… this. It can't be much longer, Sadie." His breathing became rapid, "I thought we were forever…"

"We are… Nick… that's… that's what I don't understand. You're… I'll never love anyone the way I love you. I waited for you… I'd rather die alone than ever have another lover…" Sadie turned his head to look at her.

His bright, tearful, blue eyes stared into her own, "Me too… but I guess not all things turn out as… planned… if this is where we're headed."

"I don't wanna go anywhere," she stated simply.

Nick turned slightly cold, "Then why are you leaving?" He swallowed the lump in his throat and attempted to get up, unwrapping the blanket around them.

"Where do you think I'm going, Nick?" Sadie asked desperately.

He turned to look at her, sliding his boxers up his legs. "I don't know where you're going. All I know is that you're leaving," he whispered, "And I can't stop you cuz you're not LETTING me. And it's killing me and that's why I told you I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. Get it?"

"I'm… not… going… anywhere," she stated through panicky, erratic breathing. She hated this. She hated feeling like this. She hated him feeling like this. She hated that he made her feel like this. She hated that she made him feel like this.

"Bull shit," his voice pitch lowered, "I'm gonna take a nap. I'll use one of the guest bunks so you can have the bedroom for unpacking. I can't deal with this right now."

"Just say it, Nick. You can't deal with me. Go ahead… say it. Instead of ‘dealing’ you're just going to walk away. As usual," Sadie snapped, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around her naked body.

Nick's eyes darkened, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me! All you ever do is walk away!" She repeated the line she’d heard so many times, "‘I have to think. I'm going to go for a drive!’ Where do you go? Julia's?"

He gasped and stepped back. "What the hell, Sadie?" he whispered hurt, "Fine. If that's what you think… Then fine."

"Goddamn it, Nick! YELL AT ME!" she screamed.

"Why?" he asked slowly, "What would it accomplish?"

"Let it out. I know you're angry. Let it out! It's not healthy to not let it out!" she answered, frustrated.

"I'm not in the ‘mad, yell, bitch stage,’ Sadie PIERCE. I'm in the ‘fuck it all, my girl just accused me of-" he stopped.

"Finish," she stated.

"Of cheating on her…" he gulped, "with my ex girlfriend… with my band mate’s wife." His eyes cast down, "Fuck you. I'm gonna lay down." He refused to lose his temper. He wasn't mad so he wouldn't let his actions make it out to seem that way.

"Did I say you cheated on me?" she asked softly.

"That's what you were implying, wasn't it?"

"Guilty conscience?" she answered.

Nick's head snapped up to look at her, "Fuck you… I hate you so much right now…"

"Love you too, Hun," Sadie answered.

His face contorted into confusion, "I… You're such a bitch." He turned to the bunks.

"I try," she threw her clothes back on. That hurt.

Nick whipped around. "FUCK YOU!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Feel better?" she asked as tears sprung to her eyes. She'd wanted him to explode and she knew how it would make her feel, but she needed to feel it. She didn't know why she was acting the way she was. She was just sick and tired of always being blamed for all the problems in the relationship, like none of them were his fault.

He shook his head at her as a low sob broke up his words. His eyes begged her to somehow make it better, "No… I'm sorry, Sadie."

"Why do we always do this?" she asked.

"What else are we supposed to do?" he threw his arms up, "There's nothing else to do."

"Why can't we take it one day at a time?"

"Because I don't look at life one day at a time." He went to the intercom, "Chuck?"

"Yeah, Boss?" the driver responded.

"Pull over at the next rest stop, please…"

"Sure thing, Nick."

"Thanks," he picked up his cell and called a number on speed-dial.

"What are you doing? Running to Julia again?" Sadie mumbled as she walked to the kitchen area.

Nick's eyebrows raised, "Yes… Actually, I am."

"Hello?" came a giggly voice.

"Jules?"

"Yeah… Nick?"

"Yeah… Look… tell your driver to pull over at the next rest stop? I need to talk," he begged.

"Okay…" she said concerned, "You gonna be okay?"

"Yes." He hung up.

Sadie was sitting at the small table in the kitchen area, looking out the window. She couldn't believe the events of the last two hours. She sighed when he hung up, but kept her eyes on the rolling landscape.

Nick watched his girlfriend carefully, "I…" He paused, not knowing what he was going to say.

She looked up at him silently, her face set, waiting for him to finish.

He walked to the table and sat down on the floor in front of her. He placed his head in her lap, "I'm just so afraid for us, Sadie."

"Nick, I… I don't… why?" she asked. She wasn't referring to why he was afraid, but she was back on the comment that he couldn't look at life one day at a time. Why?

Nick lifted his head slightly, "Why? Because I have plans… and I know how things go. Do you think I looked at getting to the top as ‘one day at a time’? No, I didn't. I looked at what I had to do first, second, third, fourth, fifth and so on… and I thought about where it'd get me. I look out for my future, Sadie. And right now… I'm not seeing much of a future for us." He'd laid it all out on the table.

"Do you think I looked our relationship ‘one day at a time’? I did. I had to. My entire life, I've lived it one day at a time. With my dad always moving and me always having to change schools. Do you think I had a chance to plan a future?" she asked softly, "Even when ‘we’ started, I couldn't look at the future because when ‘we’ started, you were with Julia. My entire life has been one day at a time.”

"Then try it my way. It's a lot easier… and a lot less confusing," he tried to keep his voice steady, not wanting to get into another fight. All they ever did was fight.

Sadie sighed softly, "I guess I can try."

He looked up in surprise, "Then… Then what do you see for us?"

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "I see… you and me… outside our house… relaxing…" she opened her eyes and smiled at him, "and our kids are in the pool."

Nick's jaw dropped, "Kids?"

"Yeah," she answered, "I want kids eventually. Don't you?"

Nick's heart dropped at the word eventually, but he covered nicely, "Yes… Go on?"

She smiled and leaned her head back again, "And the dogs are running around, and the guys are going to come over for a barbeque… Aaron and BJ are visiting because they’ve finally moved out," she smiled, "and… we live happily ever after."

He smiled lightly, "Yeah…"

"Sound good?" she asked.

He sighed, "Uh huh."

She looked at him, "You sure?"

Nick nodded.

Sadie nodded back as the bus headed off the highway and to a rest stop.

Nick stood up as the bus rolled to a stop. He was reminded of Julia. "Do you actually think that I'm…?" he asked softly, "with her…?"

Sadie shook her head, "I know you wouldn't. It was a cheap, low blow and I'm sorry."

He nodded.

"Did you really mean it when you said you… hated me?" she asked as the wound was ripped open and tears hit her eyes again.

His head cocked as he looked at her, "Right then? No, but… I was close. So close it was scary, but I could never hate you. I love you too much to ever put you through that."

"I love you," she told him softly, looking up at him.

Nick remained standing where he was. "Sometimes…" and he walked out. He saw Julia right away.

Sadie sat there, stunned. She stood and walked stiffly to the bed before falling onto it and crying. Eventually, she fell asleep.