DUMPED _Scene- In the Mall_ -Jerry- Does this shirt look good? -Erin- Yes your shirt looks good. -Jerry- Hey, I got a great Idea for a new food stand... hot dog on a stick but we loose the stick I call it hot dog. Come on that was pretty funny to me... something wrong? -Erin- No, Im glad we finally get to spend some time together. No band, no groupies. -Jerry- Hey thats our new poster for the cd. Is Mickey’s head bigger than mine? -Erin- Jerry. -Jerry- Right Right... just you and me, and my tiny head. -Girl Fan- Jerry O’Keefe. -Girl #2- Look It is him. Lets have his baby. -Girl #3- Luv Rush! -Erin- I dont believe this. -Jerry- Dont believe... Run! (they run to a photo booth to hide in.) -Erin- This is no way to live. -Jerry- Well I admit its not a palace, but its all I could afford. (Jerry puts money in for pictures) -Erin- You know what Im talking about this is always happening we have no private life. -Jerry-Uh huh. -Erin- Are you even listening to me. -Jerry- Of course but you are so cute when your mad, keep bitchin’. ~start making out~ -Erin- We really shouldn't be doing this. -Jerry- I know this is so wrong. -Girl (outside)- Hes got to be here somewhere. -Girl #2- Omg I think thats him. -Girl#3- Omg look at these hes naked. -Girl #2- Whos the chick? -Girl #3- Some sliz who cares. -Jerry- Hey those are my pictures!!! -Erin- This is exactly what I was talking about, sometimes I hate being Jerry O’keefe’s girlfriend! -Jerry- (Erin walks out) Erin! Oh she’s pist. _Opening Sequence- Music- 2gether_ _Scene- Practicing dance._ -Choreographer- One and two and spin and one and two and we have alot of routines to learn ‘cuz we’re using the whole entire house for the video. -Mickey- Well we can start with my room baby. -Doug- Ha ha ha, you’ll have to excuse my friend Mickey here he doesn't know how to talk to women, pretty who are you.. pretty. -Choreographer- Doug What your saliva. Jerry... come on Smile! -Doug- Jodi, who’s gunna get to dance with you at the hot part at the end of the video? -Jodi- Umm I dunno.. whoever moves best I’ll just watch and pick. -Doug- Okay. _Scene- In kitchen_ -Doug- Jodi is the very soul of dance born into a women and brought down from heaven to fondle us with her presence. -Mickey- With the AC turned up you can see her nipples right through her unitard. -Doug- Mickey, I know you’ve got your sights on Jodi but nobody’s gunna stop me from being the one who gets her in the video. -Mickey- Aight man she’s all yours bro. -Doug- Yea okay, play it that way. -Mickey- Your stepping on my foot man! -Doug- Thats the way I play it! -Chad- OOOHHH somebodies in love!!!!!! -Jerry- What are you saying that I cant hold onto my girlfriend, that you think she’d give this up? Look at these abs! Punch me in the stomach as hard as you can, seriously punch me in the stomach!! Oh what do I have to do it myself? Oh Im sorry I didnt mean to blow up. -Doug- Could it be that there is a problem with you and Erin? -Jerry- Who said we’re having problems!!! -Chad- It was Mickey!!! -Mickey- What? -Jerry- Im afraid I'm loosing her, she doesn't seem happy, yesterday she said she hates being Jerry O’Keefes Girlfriend. -Doug- Jerry most relationships have bumps in the road I mean not everyone can have what Jodi and I have. -Jerry- I dont know what to do. -Chad- Well you know you gotta fight for her, tell her you love her and then buy her a stuff dog or a stuffed cat, or a stuffed rabbit or a stuffed pig! -Jerry- She really doesn't like stuffed animals that much. -Chad- Then dump her. _Scene- Doug dancing for Chad_ -Chad- Pound the baby... coooooolll that’ll definitely get Jodi in the video! Now make the pizza! Hump the neighbors dog! Ha Ha ha ha! -Jerry- Guys, I figured out how to save my relationship with Erin, I’ve invited her over for dinner tonight. Im turning this place into a warm cocoon of love and privacy. -Chad- Your turning this place into a vagina? -Jerry- No, Its a cocoon and you wont actually be in it you’ll be in the outer layers. -Doug- And where would that be? -Jerry- Locked in your bedroom all night. Please guys! I have to show Erin that we could have a life away from the rest of the world. -Doug- No problem! -Chad- We can hump the neighbor’s dog in our bedroom. _In Mickey’s room...._ -Jerry- You know Doug and Chad already said they’re cool with it so uh I hope you dont mind staying in your room tonight. -Mickey- Oh its all good I’ll just stay here working on my t-shirts. Yea I’m starting my own line of hip hop clothing, medallions, bed linens, wall paper.. Im gunna call it Mickey P’s sweet crib! All those pansy ass white boys will snap em up! -Jerry- Nice! -Mickey- I put you down for 12. _Scene-Jerry and Erin alone_ -Erin- Jerry whats going on. -Jerry- Its a surprise, I wanna show you that we can have a life of our own in here away from the screaming fans and everyone else, tonight is our night. -Erin- Can I take off my blind fold? -Jerry- Not yet, I made us a special meal and I wanna bring it all out first. -Doug- *cough cough* *caawww* caawww* -Erin- Who’s that? -Jerry- Its Doug I’ll be right back. What are you doing here this is the inner layer. -Doug- Well Im sorry but theres something I gotta to tell you. -Jerry- Not now. -Doug- Well Jerry I really think that you should... -Jerry- No noise from the outside world, We’re in a freaken cocoon here! ~Doug hands him the Lap top, Jerry opens it and finds a pic of Erin and him topless~ -Jerry- Oh god, Oh my god.... -Erin- Jerry, How long do I have to keep my blind fold on? -Jerry- Forever. _Back from Commercial Break_ _Scene- Erin and Jerry Alone_ -Erin- Whats going on? (takes off blind fold.. Jerry throws the comp.) -Jerry- And no email. -Erin- Are you alright? -Jerry- Never better. Shall we dine. From the finest cut of choice... hot dog. -Erin- Ohh, only 90% animal by products. -Mickey- Check it out yo! -Jerry- Mickeeeyy! (sees a pic of Mickey and Erin on his shirt- Erin topless) Great to see yah Man! (hugs him) Im gunna kill you. -Mickey- Whats up with you dog. -Jerry- Hunny maybe you could pick out some music while I just hug Mickey for a little bit. -Erin- Sure do you want something up tempo or do your guys want to slow dance. -Jerry ha ha ha (to Mickey) I cant believe you made that. -Mickey- Hey Im gunna cut Erin in on the profits! -Jerry- Wait a minute thats you with Erin! -Mickey- Yea man its the Mickey P clothing line. -Jerry- Shh get out of here if Erin finds out theres topless pictures of her floating around she’s gunna freak! -Mickey- You mean she doesn't know? -Jerry- Why would she put naked pictures of her self on the Internet? -Mickey- Beats me why do I put naked pictures of me on the Internet? -Chad- Jerry I know Im not supposed to bother you but look at this picture I just found. ~Jerry rips it up without looking at it.~ -Chad- That was a picture of my parents! -Mickey- Ha ha ha Way to go bro! -Chad- This was a very special picture... my mom was sober! -Erin- Why did you do that? -Jerry- Because I told him only pictures of you tonight. Lets go you too Chad, well paste and scan those pictures tomorrow. Be right back hunny buns. -Chad- Good night mom, good night mom, good night mom -Doug (guys open the door on Doug humping the “neighbors dog”) Heeeyyy everything cool? -Chad- Does this look like everything is cool? This is mom’s eye! -Jerry- How could you do that! You knew how important this night was to me! I dont know what you were thinking but as far as your concerned that picture of Erin does not exist.Not on t-shirts, not on medallions... -Mickey- How about wallpaper? -Jerry- Not on anything! -Mickey- Damn. -Jerry- I just need this one night to get me and Erin back on track. Then I’ll explain everything to her. -Mickey- I ran outta toner anyway! -Jerry (back with Erin)- Dinner is served! For you... _Scene- In Jerry’s Room_ -Jerry- Honey Dew, What do you thin, rubix cube or sliced pairs? -Erin- Jerry I think you should look at this picture I found on the Internet. -Jerry- It isnt you it only looks like you! -Erin- What? -Jerry- I mean if your a building. -Erin- Jerry? -Jerry- Hmm -Erin- This is George Washington University in Washington D.C. -Jerry- Huh huh. -Erin- I got accepted there. -Jerry- I didnt know you... when did this happen? -Erin- A few weeks ago. -Jerry- You kept a secret from me, thats not what couples do couples tell each other everything, I told you I cried at Patch Adams no body knows that. -Chad- Jerry I have another picture to show you! -Jerry- this isnt a good time! -Chad-Fine I’ll just go rip it up myself. -Jerry- Chad, Im sorry Let me see your picture. -Erin- Im naked! -Jerry (rips picture) -Chad- Its like a compulsion with you! -Erin- I cant believe our picture is being past around! -Jerry- I am as stunned as you are I am flabbergasted to think that people would put filth like this on the Internet. -Erin- Omg that means that million of people... wait how did you know that was on the Internet. -Jerry- You got accepted to college! -Erin- You knew about this didnt you, you made this huge deal about me not telling you something... Couples dont keep secrets couples tell each other everything thats exactly what you said! -Jerry- Would it help to say that I truly admire your powers of recall! -Erin- Grrr!! -Jerry- Sweetie! -Erin- Which means this entire special night was a lie! -Jerry- Not true only the last few hours Erin please Im sorry I didnt tell you lets not fight. -Erin- Your right its silly. -Jerry- Lets forget about this and get back in a cocoon. -Erin- Jerry. -Jerry- I love you too. -Erin- I’ve been putting off this decision but the truth is I need my own life. -Jerry- Absolutely of course. Your own life, with me. -Erin- I need to be a normal, private non pop music person. Jerry I'm sorry, Im going to go back east to college. -Jerry- What about us? -Erin- Goodbye. -Jerry- If she comes back in five seconds everything will be okay... Make it ten. _Back from Commercial break_ _Scene- Guys dancing_ -Doug- Oh Jodi Hi, Yea hey listen I was wondering uh could I show you a couple of moves, you know just something I thought of at the top of my head you know. -Jodi- Okay. -Doug- Great Hit it! (dances!) -Jodi- (on cell) Hello, Hiii mmm I was hoping you’d call, oh no no not at all oh right well call me back wait wait wait did you see will and grace last night? Do you think will is g-a-y? Okay bye. -Doug- So what you’d think? Jodi- Interesting. -Doug- Great! So I get to be the guy that dances with you at the end of the video? -Jodi- Oh right that! Umm well I was gunna use.. Mi- -Mickey- Not interested! -Jodi- Chad? -Chad- No thanks! -Jodi -Well I guess Im just left with umm Chad are you sure? Then Doug! -Doug- Hhha Yes I knew I could crush all of you whoooo!! Turning her down was a crappy move but it backfired! Ha! Im standing at the top of dancer mountain and your looking straight up my ass! _Scene- Guys in Kitchen_ -Doug- Oohh Doug Linus Lord of the dance! Haa haa. You alright Jerry? -Mickey- yea man you hear from Erin? -Jerry- I just got off the phone with her she’s on the way to college for orientation week. -Guys- Oohhh -Chad- Listen Jerry, if you love Erin set her free and if she comes back to you well.. well maybe she forgot something like make-up girls are always forgetting stuff like that you know there is alot of stuff in their purses. -Mickey- What the hell are you saying man! -Chad- Aren’t you listening? You gotta go get her back! -Jerry- How, what do I say to her? -Doug- Jerry, When you see her your heart will just know what to say I mean the last time I saw my x-wife the words just came, I’ll leave without a fuss officers, I mean you’ll just know! _Scene- Jerry In The Washington D.C College_ -Jerry- (Walks to the window of a class that has Erin in it, sees her flirting and leaves) -Some guy- Uh Hey where’s school pride hall? -Jerry- Im lost myself. _Scene- Shooting of the awesum LuvR Video_ -Jodi- Okay guys take your positions, lots of energy your happy! And action! -Jerry- They call me the heart throb that was my choice. Im just a nice guy with a pretty dope voice, if your a girl with humeric sounds... Come get with me and girl Im gunna make you smile, if you get scared I’ll take you by the hand. I’ll show you heaven I will be your dream man! -Guys- I wanna be your Awesum LuvR, Gunna be your #1 Man, Wanna be your awesum LuvR, the best luvr in all the land! -Chad- Are you sick of guys who come on strong? Who just want to see you wearing a tight thong? I dont even know what a thong is.. but I got an A+ on the teen chomp quiz. Sit back relax and I wont hit on you, just let yourself drown in my big baby bluuuueess. -Dog- Okay so Im old than your average teen but baby I will treat you just like a queen, Im wise and mature and so generous too. And I’ll never use cuss words like hump or screw. A smooth older man, is just what you need, cuz luving is better at always the worst be. -Guys- Wanna be your, Awesum LuvR (Chad: Awesum luvR) Wanna be your no.1 man (Chad: number one man!), wanna be your awesum luvR (Chad: your best) the best luvr in all the land. -Mickey- So ladies like guys who treat them like crap? Has lots of tattoos and is all into rap, well guess what thats me your own gangster toy, if your the kind of girl who likes a real bad boooyyyyy oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh... -Wanna be your, I wanna be your, Awesum luvR, wanna be your number one man, wanna be your real heart breaker, the best luvr in all the land! Wanna be your, Awesum luvR wanna be your awesum luvR (Mickey: I wanna be I got to be) Awesum luvR (Mickey: awesum Luvr) The best luvR in all the land! Awesum Luvr! -Jodi- And cut! That was great everyone! -Mickey- Yo that video was the bomb! -Chad- Great video Doug! -Doug- I looked good, reaaalll good!