hello my name is cat and this is my page
Hi! My name is Cat and I am a student in PA. This webpage is an experiment to prove that I am not totally useless in life. I actually figured out how to do this all on my own, with no help from you bastards. This page will serve as a kind of view into how my life is going, since I'm sure you all care. You do.
Anyway, I might as well tell you all about me. I went to an all-girls boarding school after being unceremoniously dumped from public school. (It wasn't that great anyway…)
Oh yes. Some of my boyfriends are rumoured to be gay, and one's in the National Guard. I am still friends with them, however, and don't wish to disgrace their names in this page. If you want to see that, you are sick, sick human beings bent on ripping every last shred of dignity from a person and will find their names on my main webpage, here.
But I digress. The main goal of this page was to find if I really could make a webpage out of pure spit and sweat, and however gross that may sound I actually did it. My laptop is now dripping with it. But now that I've made this glorious site, I find myself pondering something…this is where I spill the proverbial beans:
Well, I'm not going to waist any more time. This will become a poll in time where you, the reader, can vote for whether or not you think I'm gay. But before you do, a little more background:
Now, as this information was never meant for the general public, and it was a private affair, I ask you to please keep it on the DL. There is also some information to the contrary, but in the form of other witnesses:
I was dumped by my boyfriend while making the switch from public to boarding school, and again while making the switch from boarding school to college. Yes I lead a sad life. But anyway, so back to the point…what was my point?
"I swear, I never meant to! It just happened! I mean, ok I drank a little…a lot…but so did everyone else. All right, it was graduation night, and we were at a party…I kissed a few people! So what if they were girls?!?! I went to an all-girls school! We were close, and we were never gonna see each other again…I was just kidding about the lesbian fantasy night thing! Honest! … Do you think this'll get on Oprah?" (taken from transcripts of May 26, 2000, Graduation Party)
"Well…yes I was on the trip to France that our class took in March of 2000. We toured the country with a couple of groups from other schools in the US. We made friends fast and had a good time. I don’t blame anyone for anything that happened on that trip…after all, I was in the room when it happened…(hysterical laughter) What was I saying? Oh yeah…so one night we all got really bored and went to someone's hotel room…let me just say it was wild! (more hysterical laughter followed by some heavy drags on a lit Peter Stuyvesant) Yeah, that's our little 'satan' for ya!" (taken from Conversations with French Survivors, by Emily Vaughan, c. 2000)
Now, folks, I can't sway you, but I can tell you the truth. Of course, this is only after you have heard all the evidence and cast your votes. I will put up photographical evidence of this 'cat' when I get it, so until then, please keep this website in your mind and your prayers. Thank you and goodnight. Oh, and make sure you VOTE! ********This new poll is what cat should do now that the results are in: 51% of you viewers think cat is a lesbian! Compared to 27% who think she's just bi, and 22% who think she's straight. Well, here is your chance to find out what she's gotta do to prove she's not...or is...VOTE NOW!********
Contact the authors at:
Sweet Basil Enterprises
The following was provided by the company for your entertainment. Try to guess which movie they come from. If you think you know the answers, email us and you might be one of ten thousand winners!
Just a couple of Quotes
*****Disclaimer: You will not be guaranteed a prize. If you get all the answers right, you might not even get a prize. It all depends on how Cat feels at the time. Your prize may be a personal email from Cat herself. Don't be picky.*****
"Inconceivable!"
"Yes but John, when the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."
"Hey! Look at my package!"
"You're tearing me apart!"
"Was it a dream where you were standing on the top of a temple in sort of sun-god robes with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing tiny pickles at you?"
"That's it! Dishonor! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your family, dishonor on your cow!"
"You didn't say bless you when I sneezed."
"Cow,"
"Stifler's mom is a MILF!"
…and last but not least…
"Whoa,"
Say bye, Amber 
days til Christmas!
