Chapter Seven: ** Falling **

The more that Debelah thought about it as she stood underneath the hot shower, the angrier that she became. She could not believe the way she had acted at the club when Dave had approached, how scared she’d got. Hell, she’d even lied about him being her boyfriend to AJ and that what had happened was just a little ‘lover’s spat’. She washed her hair and reached for her vanilla body wash. Her mind, in a fit of zealousness, began to concoct a plan on how she was going to tell off Dave the next time she saw him.

I’m stronger now! I don’t have to put up with this. I’m not the same girl who would just let him hit her and then hide the bruises. I’ve moved on and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that asshole try and make my life a living hell. Again. Tomorrow, I’ll just go up to him and tell him that I WON’T put up with…wait…I can’t. He’ll tell everyone about what happened. The tabloids. I didn’t want anybody to know…but I guess they’ll have to now.

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her body as she used another to rub at her hair. Switching on the hairdryer, she ran a comb through her hair as she dried it, spraying it first with the vanilla scented detangler she loved. But her image in the mirror stared back angrily. Angry at herself for getting herself into her mess. Angry at Dave for starting it all. And angry for bringing AJ and the rest of the guys into this; they shouldn’t have to go through all this crap. She sighed, knowing what she was going to have to do to get rid of Dave. She just hoped everyone would understand.

Her hair dry, she quickly washed her face and slipped on the clothes she’d brought in. Looking in the mirror, she realized AJ would be able to see the bruise on her leg from Dave. She considered getting a pair of pants to cover it up before shaking her head defiantly. She shouldn’t HAVE to cover up bruised. She WOULDN’T hide them. She refused to do that anymore. She took a deep breath and then opened the door.

AJ, who’d been lying back on the bed with one hand over his face in thought, uncovered his face and opened his eyes when heard the door open. Debelah, not saying a word, sat cross-legged on the bed next to him, staring down at her lap. AJ sat up slowly, turning to face her, his eyes expectant and concerned.

“I need to tell all of you- Kevin, Brian, Howie, Nick and you- what happened. You all deserve to know and it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell all of you. Do you think you could get them all in here?” she asked him, quietly, hoping he could. She needed to tell all this at once, not five times over.

AJ grabbed the cell phone from his pocket and made four phone calls, telling each guy that they needed to get over to Debelah’s room as soon as they could. When he hung up the phone, he settled back into his spot and they didn’t say anything. Debelah broke the silence by asking, still staring at her lap,” Why did you come?”

AJ looked over at her and saw her. He saw a beautiful young woman dealing with everything at once, who was lost and confused, but strong-willed in all. Her hair fell over her shoulders, creating a curtain between them. AJ reached forward and brushed it aside, placing it behind her ear. “To see you. To make sure you were alright. And to be with you.”

Debelah closed her eyes at that beautiful statement and a tear escaped her eye and trailed down her cheek. A tear that was not sad but a happy one for she did not know what she had done to deserve him, but she was just happy she had him in her life. He brushed the tear away with his thumb gently and she opened her eyes and looked him in the eye. They stared at each other for a minute before she opened her mouth to say something. A loud knock on the door broke her thoughts and she stared at the door and the chain that had been replaced by AJ while she was in the bathroom, keeping the person on the outside away from her.

She stiffened, every muscle poised to jump and run. AJ, seeing this, got up from the bed and cautiously walked over to the door and asked suspiciously, "Who is it?”

“Kevin.”

“How do I know it’s really Kevin?” AJ asked suspiciously.

“Alexander James McLean, you let me in right now or-" Kevin yelled.

AJ quickly unlocked the door and flung it open,” Kevin!”

Kevin stared at him strangely before entering the room. He nodded towards Debelah, "Hey, Debelah. What’s going on?” Debelah just turned her head and stared down at the floor, her shoulders hunched. Kevin looked at AJ in question but he just answered simply, "We’re waiting for the rest of the guys.” Kevin, not comprehending but understanding, just slowly nodded and found a place to sit. This occurred each time one of the guys came until they were all there. AJ sat back in his spot next to Debelah on the huge bed while Kevin sat on the other side. Brian sat in a chair and Howie occupied the other chair what faced the bed while Nick leaned up against the wall. They shared a look and then looked at Debelah in silent question, who had not said a thing yet.

Debelah began to talk before they could begin asking questions, "I’m going to tell you everything that happened and the only thing I want is for you to let me finish before you say anything. It’ll be hard enough even telling all of this without that. Okay?”

The guys shared another look before they all nodded.

She took a deep breath before she began to talk, staring at the floor in the corner of the room so she wouldn’t have to see the thoughts that would cross their face. She was scared of what they might think when they heard of her past but, at the same time, she knew.

“My mom had me when she was a junior in high school. The guy that got her pregnant was a senior in high school then and refused to help support the baby. My mom had to drop out of school to take care of me. She got a job as a waitress at a run down, low life, seedy, piece of shit little restaurant because they were the only place that would take a high school drop out. She had to take me to work with her and leave my in the back as she waited tables. I remember being little and my mom would get these weird phone calls where she and the person would be shouting and my mom would be pleading with them to come and she would always end up crying. I’m pretty sure it was the asshole that got her pregnant.”

“But even though having me must have ruined any plans she had for herself, she always told me how much she loved me and that everything would be alright. “ Debelah smiled slightly at the last memory, through tears she didn’t even realize she was crying.” She called me Angel because she said I was the best thing that had ever happened to her.”

Debelah straightened up, her face hard in sudden anger, "The person that got my mom pregnant- I refuse to call him dad- came to her work one night. I was almost five years old then and I was a little room in the back of the room coloring. He took my mom into the big back room and I heard them shouting. I peeked around the door and saw him grab her arm and drag her outside. He killed my mom in the alley behind the restaurant. “Debelah stared at the wall, fighting her tears of anger and hurt furiously. “I remember…right before he shut the door, he turned…and just stared at me. He laughed. And just glared at me. And then he took my mom away.”

“He got put in jail because I told the cops who he was and I went to go live with my grandmother who had practically disowned my mother when she became pregnant with me. I moved out when I was 18 and moved to New York. I spent about 2 years singing in little clubs before I met Dave. He was really nice and sweet to me at first but he didn’t like me singing at clubs. He said that I would probably pick up guys there and cheat on him so every time I sang somewhere, he went and stayed with me when I was done to…I don’t know…ward off any other guys, I guess. He started to drink a lot. I should probably mention that I had moved in with him by now. When he got drunk, he got mad. When he got mad, he would yell and scream at me. Once when he was screaming at me, he said, he said-“Debelah’s eyes narrowed angrily at the memory-“that I was a slut just like…just like my mo- “she took a deep breath, not able to say what he’d said,” just like my mother.”

“That bastard,” Brian breathed, his eyes riveted on her as well as everyone else’s.

“I shouted back at him and he punched me across the jaw,” she said this, realizing this was the first time she’d ever admitted Dave had hit her to anyone.

AJ shot up, his eyes wide and on fire with anger, "WHAT?! That little fucker HIT you!?”

Debelah had jumped a bit in surprise when he shot up but continued, "He apologized the next day, sent me a dozen roses, and, because I THOUGHT I loved him and because I was so confused, I forgave him. I figured it was my fault because I had shouted back at him.” She laughed wryly at that, shaking her head at her naïve mind then.

“It wasn’t your fault,” AJ interjected firmly, his eyes on fire with what he’d heard.

“I know that NOW, I wish I’d known it then. It became almost a ritual with him hitting me drunk and then giving me some material piece of crap to try and make up for it. Then he started to hit me when he wasn’t drunk and I was confused, you know. Because, at least when he was drunk, I could always blame it on the alcohol. But when he wasn’t drunk, I didn’t know what to blame. I knew in my mind that it wasn’t my fault, but with him screaming all the time that it was me, it was hard not to believe it.”

She looked down at her lap sadly, "Whenever I came home, I tried knocking on the door three times and then going in. I was trying to believe that if I did it, he wouldn’t hit me that night. Sort of like a good luck charm, you know? I just wanted something to work.”

“Oh, God,” Howie whispered sadly, running a hand through his hair.

“But then he hit me one night even though I’d knocked three times so I tried it the next day without knocking and he still hit me that night. It took a couple days for me to figure out that all I was doing was trying to put my faith in something else to pull me out of this. I realized that I needed to get MYSELF out of it. I walked home to tell him that I was leaving him when I heard this weird sound as I passed a building. A guy jumped out and tried to- and attacked me.” She took a breath and risked a glance at the guys who, at the last part, had frozen in their place, their eyes bright with anger and shock at everything that she’d already told them.

“What the hell do you mean-" Howie, the normally quiet one, burst out.

“Are you saying that…?” Nick trailed off, staring at her.

“Did you kill him? If you didn’t, I’m about to.” Kevin exploded.

“What happened?” Brian asked.

AJ, not believing that people would hurt her in such ways that she had described, felt his blood begin to boil at the sudden news that some strange guy had attacked her on the way home to her abusive boyfriend. He clenched his fists tightly, his nails digging into his skin. He couldn’t find the words to say what was going on in his mind.

“I kicked the guy in the groin and ran home. I was in tears when I got there and when I babbled out what had happened, he just…smirked and said that he was surprised it hadn’t happened before.” Each of the guys muttered certain swear words at Dave. “I, I just blew up. That he wouldn’t not even CARE about it just made me realize a lot of things in the couple of seconds that I stood frozen in the hallway. I charged after him and started yelling in his face that I didn’t deserve to be treated like the piece of shit he thought of me as, to be hit or yelled at or threatened or followed or not cared for. He tried to interrupt but I shoved him back and he just stood there for a second, confused and surprised.”

Debelah smirked, proudness in her eyes for herself, "He didn’t think I would ever stand up to him. But I did. I cursed at him, I spit at him and I just kept pushing him back. After I’d told him off on everything, I told him to get the hell out.”

“Wasn’t it his apartment?” Nick asked.

Debelah looked at him and nodded, the smirk still there, "Exactly. But he was so confused and feeling not in control, that he just left. And while he was gone, I trashed his stuff, dumped it out the window, packed my bags and left. I went to Jive as soon as I left and auditioned. As soon as they signed me, I started to record my own songs and basically lived there for a month before I was told I was coming on tour with you guys,” the mention of coming on tour with them, brought a true smile to her lips.

The smile left and her face hardened. “Tonight, Dave found me. He threatened me like he used to. He said that if I didn’t come back to him then he would tell the press, tell everyone about my mom and about the attack. I have worked too hard to get here to have him start trashing my name by giving out crap to the press,” he voice shook with determination as she spoke.” He said he’s coming on tour with me, coming tomorrow. And he said he wants me to tell everyone that were going out. He just wants a famous girlfriend.”

“Is that how you got that bruise on your leg?” Brian asked quietly.

“What bru-" AJ started turning to Debelah and then suddenly noticing the dark bruise on her leg just above her knee. His mind flashed back to when he’d first seen Dave and Debelah in the booth and Dave had his hand on her leg and she was wincing. In pain. That bastard was hurting her.

Debelah nodded, shifting nervously, "He got mad because I told him to go to hell.”

“Good!” Nick burst out. When everyone turned to look at him strangely, his face turned a shade of red before he hastened to explain himself. “Good for you telling him off. Not him giving you that bruise. You didn’t deserve it at all.” He shook his head in disgust at himself,” And I left you there at that booth with him. I KNEW something was wrong I just didn’t know what.” Kevin nodded.

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know,” Debelah looked at them for a second before focusing on the wall again. “ It’s all his fault this happened. ALL of this. The thing I can’t stand was that I seemed to lose who I’ve become when he came over. I got, I got scared like I used to. I was trying to be strong but I was shaking. And he saw. And he knew that he could do what he used to. Well, he’s going to get to.”

“WHAT?!” all the guys exclaimed.

“Oh, just for tomorrow,” Debelah tried to assure them.

“What do you mean ‘ just for tomorrow’?” Howie asked.

“Well,” she took a deep breath,” I’m going to tell the press about my past at the press conference on Friday. But I can’t have Dave telling them before that. So, tomorrow, I have to-“ she said the words with disgust”- do what he says. He’s not going to lay one finger on me, though.”

“How are you sure of that?” Kevin asked.

A small grin touched her face and the sparkle returned to her eyes, "‘Cuz I’ll lay the smackdown on his ass if he does anything like that. WWF style, baby!”

“I get to help,” Nick said, relieved to see some of the old Debelah back.

“Us, too,” Brian said, speaking for himself, Kevin and Howie.

“And me, too,” AJ said quietly, staring at Debelah. She raised her head and looked in his eyes for a second, and a soft smile lifted to corners of her mouth at him, her eyes warm and thanking. She looked at the rest of the guys. “Thanks guys. I knew all y’all would understand. I just need to get through tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you want to go through this? I mean, we could just-" Brian started.

“No, I have to do this. I have to prove to him that I’m strong and I’m not going to let him do this to me. Friday night, I’ll give him the going away he deserves.”

“What do you have in mind?” Howie asked, cautiously.

Debelah laughed “Sort of a surprise, but you guys’ll love it. Dave’ll hate it, but that’s good. All I have to do is get through tomorrow.”

“I’ll come tomorrow morning to get you,” Kevin offered, as the guys stood to leave.

“Yeah, we’ll be watching Dave all day. We can be your personal bodyguards!” Nick exclaimed and Debelah laughed.

Each of the guys gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek which she returned. They walked out the door as she still sat on the bed. AJ, the last one to leave, stopped inside the doorway when he heard Debelah’s voice.

“Um, AJ?” Debelah said, somewhat hesitantly.

He turned around and looked at her with an unreadable expression, "Yes?”

She fidgeted nervously, "I know this is going to come out wrong, but I’m gonna say it anyway.”

“Say what?”

“Could you stay here tonight? I really don’t want to be alone. Dave, he has this way of popping up everywhere and I’m scar- I would just feel safer if you stayed.”

He noticed how she stopped on the word ‘scared’ and realized she didn’t want anyone to know how scared she really was of what may happen if this Dave guy got too close. He straightened, the need to protect her running stronger than ever through his veins. He saw her, sitting alone on the bed, trying desperately to conceal her fear. She was damn strong, no question about that, but she was scared, too. He locked the door behind him and nodded. “Of course.”

And that’s how he found himself lying in the bed awake all night, with Debelah curled up at his side, her cheek on his chest and a hand resting on his stomach in her sleep. He wrapped her in his arms, determined not to let a thing happen to her as long as he was around. Looking down at her, he wondered if she felt what he was feeling, the little twist in the pit of his stomach whenever she was around. He wondered if she was falling, too.