Chapter Twelve: ** I Remember The Way **

Debelah twisted and turned in her sleep, a frown marring her forehead as she tried to escape her nightmares.

 *Dream*

Debelah looked at the clock on the wall and bit her lip. Where was Dave? It was already after one in the morning. He’d left without telling her where he was going. Again. She was debating on whether she should just go to bed and give up on waiting for him or not when she heard the front door open. She rushed to the front of the apartment and stopped when she saw a drunken Dave stumble into the room, barely shutting the door behind him. When he saw her, a lewd grin covered his face. “Hey, Deb…come 'ere..."

“Dave… you told me you didn’t drink anymore…” Debelah said nervously. Dave began to walk towards her unevenly, the grin in his face the whole time, and she took a step back. Coming up close to her, he wrapped an arm around her and yanked her to him, leaning down and kissing her hard on the mouth. Debelah put her hands on his chest, trying to push him away and finally did.

“Dave, what are you DOING!” she shouted. Dave’s grin disappeared.

“What, I can’t want to kiss my own girlfriend?! Hell, you give it to ever other guy; you can’t even give it to your own boyfriend!” He shouted.

“What?? You know I’m not!”

“Yeah right,” he laughed meanly at her. “You’re a slut, Deb.” She gasped in shock but he continued. “You’re a slut just like your mother,” he grinned smugly at her and she went absolutely still for a second, her jaw set and her eyes began to burn angrily.

“Don’t you dare EVER say that to me AGAIN! You DRUNK, egotistical, smug, arrogant, good for nothing son of a bitch!” she screamed at him and before she knew what was happening, ha had pulled back his fist and punched her across the jaw. Debelah stumbled back, barely staying up, and grabbed her jaw in her hand, staring at him in shock, not believing he’d just done that. Dave, unfazed and looking even apologetic walked over to her and held her sides tightly and kissed her hard on the lips.  When he grabbed the hem of her shirt, she began to struggle, suddenly realizing what he was planning on doing. He jerked on her shirt, trying to stop her struggling and it ripped up the front halfway when she jerked away. She ran for the bathroom, hearing his shout behind her and knowing he was following. She hurried in and locked the door behind her and then collapsed to the floor in sobs, hearing Dave cursing and pounding on the door.

*Dream*

“I saw what you were doing at the club, Deb,” Dave whispered angrily, walking up to her as she began to take off her jacket in the bedroom after they’d gotten home form her performing in a club. She looked up at him, confused. “What are you talking about, Dave? I sang at the club.”

“Don’t you lie to me!” he grabbed her by the arm hard and she gasped her eyes wide, confused and scared.

“I’m not, Dave…” she choked, squeezing her eyes shut when he tightened his grip.

“You were flirting with that guy by the bar! I SAW you!” he screamed in her face. Debelah suddenly remembered.

“No, I wasn’t! He RAN into me! He was APOLIGIZING!! I swear that-“

Dave pulled back his free hand and slapped her hard across the face, causing her to stumble back and fall onto the floor. “Don’t LIE to me!!”

*End Dream*

Debelah whimpered in her sleep, her own face jerking to the side as though she actually was being hit. Tears rolled down her face as she started crying.  With a start, she sat straight up in bed with a loud scream.  She grabbed her throat, gasping for breath from the intensity of the dreams. Sobbing, she put her feet on the floor, holding onto the bed to keep her up. She stumbled for the door joining her room with AJ’s, one arm wrapped around her stomach and the other trembling as it rested on her cheek.

She heard AJ’s frantic knocking on the door and him calling out her name and she began to cry harder, finally reaching the door. Fumbling with the locks, she unlocked the door through the blur of tears.  When it opened, she collapsed into AJ’s arms with a sob and just kept on crying. Confused and alarmed, he led her over to the bed where he sat with her curled on his lap, crying into his shirt.

“Deb, what happened? Are you okay?” he asked urgently aa he held her, rubbing her back and wishing he could stop her crying.

Debelah looked up, her eyes full of regret and sadness,” How…how could have stayed with him? He YELLED at me all the time…he HIT me…he even tried to- he tried to…” she couldn’t say the word. AJ, realizing what she was talking about, closed his eyes. “ There were SO many night when I had to lock myself in the bathroom to get away from him because I was scared and I would cry myself to sleep. And I STAYED with him. Why? There wasn’t anyone to help me. Nobody was ever there. “

“I’m here now,” AJ whispered in her ear.

“I know,” Deb nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. “And tomorrow, I’m going to be telling everyone about my past. And you know what? I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if press knows, I don’t care if the fans know, and I don’t even care if the whole world knows. I just want this to be over. I just want my life to be normal, for Dave to be gone.  And I get so sad when I think of the past. But I get so MAD when I think of Dave.  Tomorrow night, I think I could kill him if I got the chance. I’m that mad with him and everything he’s done. And it scares me that I could hate someone that much; to not care if they died. But I don’t.” She raised her head and looked him in the eye. “Does that make me a terrible person?”

“No, it makes you human. I know you must hate him for everything he’s done, but you have to remember that you are better than him. And hurting him that badly would be too good for him. Let him live with what he’s done,” he stopped for a second and then added,” But you can still kick his ass.”

“Good, I was gonna,” Deb smiled sleepily at him and then rested her head back on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted and feeling safe again in AJ’s arms. He rubbed her back for a minute, his chin resting on the top of his head as he stared off into the darkness of the room.

He looked down with a sudden thought, his mouth open, but stopped when he saw her sleeping soundly. He smiled slightly at her and he carefully stood up, holding her and laid her on the bed.  Tucking the blanket over her, he leaned down, kissed her forehead and then he lay down next to her on the bed, holding her hand to help ward off future nightmares.

*        *        *  

Debelah sat on the couch, perfectly calm as she waited to go in front of the curtain and start the press conference. She looked down at the outfit she had chosen for that day- low rise light blue jeans and a sleeveless gold shirt with a low v neckline. Her hair and makeup had already been done and she’d sat patiently and quietly through it all. She looked up with a genuine smile when the guys walked in the room, but they looked at her with concerned expressions.

“Deb, are you okay?” Brian asked.

“I’m fine! Truthfully, I should have done this a long time ago. Everything is gonna be fine after I do this.” She stood when Mike told her to go up now. The guys each gave her a kiss on the cheek and AJ whispered in her ear right as she was about to go onstage,” Go live.” She paused and stared back at him for a second before her lips curled and her eyes sparkled. Stepping towards him, she kissed him in front of the rest of the guys. “I’ll be right back.” She whispered back before going on stage.

*        *        *

“Miss Morgan, why is this just coming out? Surely there must be some reason,” one of the reporters called out. They group of usually shouting to be heard reporters had gone silent when Debelah had told her story about her father and being attacked a month ago. Now, one spoke out. Debelah thought about her answer carefully. She hadn’t originally planned on telling them about Dave but she realized all of a sudden that with everyone knowing what really had happened, it would ruin him. She caught Mike glaring at her indignantly and looked away. She had to do this.

“I wanted to tell the press about my past but I wasn’t sure how to at first. My ex boyfriend solved that problem for me, though,” she spoke.

“What do you mean?”

“I lived with my boyfriend Dave for three months in New York while I sung at various clubs there. My boyfriend, Dave Connors, was abusive towards me, both mentally and physically,” she said clearly into the microphone.

“How so?” The reporters were hastily writing down every word, eager for a story.

“He drank a lot. I lived in his apartment since I had no where else to go. He would yell at me constantly and he would hit me. It didn’t matter if he was drunk or not. He did it either way. I finally got the courage to leave him a month ago. Two nights ago, he came to the club where the guys and I had gone after a concert and cornered me in a booth. He threatened me, saying her would tell the press about my past in hopes of ruining my career if I refused to announce that I was dating him so he could share the limelight. I planned to tell the press myself today without him knowing and I had to deal with him all of yesterday.”

“What did the Backstreet Boys think of this? You did tell them, right?”

“Oh, they wanted to murder him when I told them the story.  It’s not like I wasn’t feeling the same way, though,” Debelah said, completely at ease. The guys backstage were listening in surprise at how calm and in control she seemed telling the press about her awful past. The reporters asked questions on the subject for a couple more minutes and then steered off in to a different direction.

“Are you romantically involved with anyone at this time?”

Debelah paused, tilting her head to the side as she thought carefully about it. “Yes.”

“And who might that be?”

Debelah opened her mouth to speak AJ’s name but then stopped and frowned for a second, saying,” I can’t say at this time because I don’t know if he’s okay with going public with it right now. I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”

*        *        *

Debelah stepped behind the curtain after the press conference, a giant smile splitting her face. She took a step forward to find out where the guys had gone but Mike stepped in front of her, blocking her way.

“What the hell was that? You did NOT discuss with me that you could say all that stuff out there!” he practically yelled.

“And why should I?!” she shot back, her smile gone.

“You told the press lies to promote your career! I could have given you a lot better publicity stunts than that! What are you trying to do, ruin your career?”

Debelah took a step towards him, her anger making up for her lack of height, her eyes narrowing,” PUBLICITY STUNT!! You think that was a PUBLICITY STUNT?? That was my LIFE! And I will NOT lie to them, EVEN to promote my career! IF I make it, it will NOT be because I lied to them about MY life.”

“Well, it is my JOB to promote you ANY way I can!”

“Not anymore it isn’t!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m firing your ass!” she screamed at him.

“You can’t do that!” he exclaimed.

“Um, yeah, she can,” a voice interrupted. They both looked to see the group of guys watching them argue. They were all glaring at Mike, watching the whole scene in surprise.

Debelah turned back to Mike. “I want you gone. NOW.” She called over security who led a protesting Mike away. She watched the scene in satisfaction, her face once again breaking into a bright smile as she looked back at the guys. “Hey, guys, wanna be my new managers?”

They agreed quickly and she laughed happily. She’d gotten rid of Dave- almost-, told the press, fired her ass of a manager, gotten the friendship of all the guys, and had AJ. Life was good.

“I love my life,” she laughed, dancing around.

*        *        *

“K, where do you guys wanna go for break?” Kevin asked in the van.

“McDonalds! McDonalds!” Debelah screamed up from the backseat excitedly, practically jumping up and down in her seat.

“We always go to Mc-“Howie started.

“Hey, McDonalds!” AJ screamed, pointing to the McDonalds just a block away on his side. Debelah saw where he was pointing and jumped on his lap to point out too.

“McDonalds!!” she screamed happily.

Kevin dropped his head,” And once again, we end up at Ronald Land.”

“Debelah aren’t you hungry?” Brian called over to Debelah who was playing on the giant playground at McDonalds with Nick, the two acting like little kids. Debelah stopped and turned to Brian, shaking her head in answer, and then shrieked in laughter when Nick tackled her in the ball pit. The guys all shook their heads and went back to their food, AJ VERY involved in eating enough McD food for both him AND Debelah.

“You’re it!” they heard Debelah scream and turned to see her tag Nick quickly and then run up the ladder with Nick at her heels. Through the clear plastic circles on the sides of the tubes they could see them both crawling through it, Debelah still ahead. They lost sight of them at the top of the ladder. And then they heard Debelah’s shriek at the top and heard thuds as she tumbled down the slide hard, falling off the end at the bottom and landing in a heap on the floor. All of the guys jumped up in alarm and AJ rushed to her side touching her carefully in case she was hurt.

“Deb, you okay?” he asked worriedly, looking her over in search of anything wrong.

“Nickolas!” Kevin yelled in the direction of the top of the slide.

“Oh, shit,” they heard Nick mutter.

Debelah cleared her throat and looked up at him.  She smiled brightly,” He didn’t tag me!”  AJ looked at her surprised and she jumped up on her feet and rushed to the slide and yelled up,” You lose, Nicky boy!!”

“Not fair,” he whined down at her. “And don’t call me Nicky boy!!” Everybody laughed and Debelah stepped back to AJ and held out her hand to him. And when he was up, she walked back to the table with him, not letting go of his hand.

*        *        *

“Rose!” All the guys exclaimed when Brian walked into the room with her that afternoon. With one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, Brian beamed. Roslynn had waist- length dark blond hair, bright blue eyes, and a light complexion, her petite figure and short stature causing her to only be able to come up to Brian’s chin.  She smiled at everyone brightly, excited to be seeing the guys again- especially Brian. These guys were like her big brothers and they treated her like a sister.

She greeted each guy with a hug, nearly jumping off the wall with the adrenaline rush going through her. She’d missed Brian like hell since he’d left and hadn’t gotten a lot of chances to talk to him on the phone. She’d taken her vacation and used it to visit the guys and stay on tour with Brian and them.

“Let me introduce you to De- hey, where’s Debelah?” Brian asked.

Roslynn’s head shot up when she heard Debelah’s name. Wait a second…but Debelah had moved to New York a while ago. Then again, how many people were named Debelah?

“This, uh, Debelah. She wouldn’t happen to have black hair, brown eyes, really crazy personality and about this height, now would she?” she asked hesitantly, raising her hand to an inch or two above her head. The guys all stared at her.

“How do you know-“AJ started, but was interrupted when the door opened and Debelah came into the room, dancing and mouthing along to her CD player, her eyes half closed.  Rose gasped.

“DEBELAH LYNN MORGAN!!” she screamed, surprised, eyes wide.

Debelah stopped dancing, taking off the headphones, and slowly turned to where Rose stood. Only ONE person called her by her full name like that. But Rose still lived back in Florida. She couldn’t be here. But…she was. Debelah’s eyes opened wide, and she stared at Rose, her mouth moving but not making sounds.  She blinked and then let out a loud whoop and ran over to Rose, giving her a huge hug, laughing the whole time while the guys looked on, immensely confused.

Rose hugged her back and then slapped Debelah upside the head. Debelah grabbed the back of her head and one eyebrow raised as she stepped back to look at Rose.

“What the dillio?” she asked, confused.

“I’m mad at you!” Rose shot out, crossing her arms.

“Hey, all I did was hug you, you’d think you’d be HAPPY to see your BEST friend in two years but NOOO…”

“You left. And you never called. My best FRIEND would have done that,” Rose said, looking hurt.

Debelah looked at her confused, "Dude, you moved. How was I supposed to call you if you MOVED?”

Rose thought about that for a second, "Oh…yeah…”

 “Blond,” Debelah coughed.

 “Hey!’ Rose protested.

 “Excuse me,” Brian interrupted. When the girls looked at him, he asked,” You two know each other?”

Debelah cocked her head and said in a deadpan voice,” No, Brian, we don’t. I have no idea who she is.” Rose slapped Debelah upside the head again, causing Deb to turn and glare at her. “Stop that!” Deb snapped, smacking Rose’s arm in retaliation. “Don’t be mean to him!” Rose ordered.

Deb saw Rose’s eyes and gasped,” You two are going out!!” she exclaimed, reading it form her eyes.

“What the hell?” Brian muttered.

  Rose just nodded with a smile.

  “K, what is going on?” Howie asked.

  “Well, after I moved to Florida-“Debelah started.

  “- in first grade-” Rose added.

“-we became friends-“ Deb.

“-BEST friends-” Rose.

“-and we did everything together-“ Deb.

“-she practically lived at my house- Rose.

“- hell, you were always at MINE!-“ Deb.

“- until we turned eighteen-“ Rose.

“-legal, baby!!-“ Deb.

“-and SHE moved away to-“ Rose.

“-New York, where I sang in clubs and met-“ Deb.

“-probably a bunch of street bums-“ Rose.

“-which is pretty close, I met Dave-“ Deb.

“-eww, you dated a street bum? Deb…” Rose trailed off with a disgusted look on her face.

“Dave wasn’t a street bum, he was just a bum,” Debelah corrected.

“Who’s Dave?” Rose asked confused.

Debelah’s face lit up in remembrance, "Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you!!”

“Oh, yeah, I haven’t seen you in two years,” Rose mocked her.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“You shut up. 

“You.”

No, you shut up.”

“No, you.”

“You.”

“Oh shu-“

“Girls!” Kevin exclaimed.

“I won,” Rose muttered. Deb shot her an evil look.

“Did you two plan that?” Howie asked. 

“What?” they said together.

“That little…thing,” Kevin said, staring at them confused.

They both shook their head and said in unison, "No.”

“Ohmygod, it’s like watching the damn Olsen twins,” AJ muttered.

“But they don’t look alike,” Nick said confused. Howie shook his head, “Shut up, Nick.”

*        *        *

Debelah looked down at the outfit she’d chosen for that night. She wore stretchy dark blue jeans that hung low on her hips and flared out at the bottom, and orange, sparkly, tube top that fit snugly- wouldn’t do good for it to fall off. Wait….Black, 3 inch heel boots completed the look and she quickly checked her hair and makeup before leaving the hotel room. A chuckle escaped as she thought of what was going to happen that night. She stepped out into the hallway and began to gather all the guys up. She hadn’t told them yet where they’d be going, though they’d tried everything they could to make her, including tickling her.

She grimaced when she remembered the scene that had happened when Deb had Roslynn about Dave. Roslynn, usually the calm one, went NUTS. Totally, pacing on the floor, shouting at Deb, cursing Dave, NUTS!! When she’d finally calmed down, Deb had told her that she was getting back at Dave that night with everyone but she wouldn’t tell Rose how or where. That was still a surprise. But now, Rose wanted to hurt Dave as bad as anybody and she’d never met him! It felt good to know all these people were behind her and Deb was itching for the moment when she gave Dave what he deserved. And she was going to kick his ass so badly in front of everyone he would never even THINK of touching her again.

Two arms wrapped tightly around her waist from behind and she felt a body behind hers. She stiffened her a second instinctively, but then relaxed and leaned back into his embrace, smiling. They stood like that for a couple of seconds, AJ deeply breathing in the scent of her, before they were interrupted.

“Aw…” they heard someone coo and both looked up to see Roslynn peeking out of her and Brian's room. When she saw she’d been caught she hastened, "Just pretend I’m not here. Go back to what you were doing.”

“Hey, girl,” Debelah called, contently resting her head back on AJ’s chest.

“Yeah?” Roslynn paused from closing the door.

Debelah tried her best impression from the Friends show, "How you doin’?”

Roslynn rolled her eyes, “Oh, God, Deb…” she said and went back to closing the door.

“Hurry up! Y’all are slow!” Deb called at the now shut door, laughing.  AJ grabbed her sides and turned her around to face him, resting his forehead against hers so he could look straight into her eyes.

“Don’t tell them to hurry. The longer their gone, I longer I get you,” he whispered right. They stood in the hallway for a full five minutes, kissing, with him rubbing her sides and her arms wrapped around his neck. Deb slid one hand down to his side, trying to get as close as possible, deepening the kiss.

“Hey, lovebirds break it up!” Nick called out as he walked down the hall towards them next to Howie.

They broke the kiss and AJ glared at Nick, "Thank you, NICKY.”

“Don’t call me-" he started but Deb interrupted, "Ssh!!’ She cocked her head to the side and stated to laugh.

“What?” Howie asked.

“Roslynn and Brian are making out,” Deb whispered quietly.

“How do you know?” AJ asked.

“BFI. Best friend intuition. Works every time.” She reluctantly let go of AJ and crept to Brian’s door. When all of the guys were behind her, she shoved it open quickly and the couple making out on the bed shot up.

“Rose, your MOM’S here!!” Deb screamed, causing Roslynn to fall off the bed in panic.  Debelah leaned against the doorframe, her figure shaking with laughter. Roslynn slowly peeked up from the other side of the bed and her eyes narrowed at Deb. Deb pointed to Rose and just kept on laughing.

When everyone was in the van, Deb gave the driver directions to where they were going, careful not to say EXACTLY where they were going. When they pulled up to the side of the street, Deb jumped out and rocked back on her heels with a smile as everyone else piled out and stared at the building in surprise.

“What’s going on?” Kevin asked.