JoKeS!!!

 
                 The Computer Gender

A language instructor was explaining to her class that
French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are 
grammatically designed as masculine or feminine. 
Things like “chalk” or “pencil” have a gender 
association, although in English there words are 
neutral.

Puzzled one student raised his hand and asked, “What 
gender is a computer”

The teacher wasn’t certain which it was and divided 
the class into two groups; one group all male, the 
other al female.  They were to decide which gender 
should be applied to “computer” and give four reasons 
for their decision.

The results-

The group of women concluded computers should be 
referred to in them as masculine gender because:

1.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn 
    them on.
2.  They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3.  They are supposed to help you solve problems, but 
    half the time they ARE the problem.
4.  As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if 
    you had waited a little longer, you could have had 
    a better model.  

The group of men decided computers should definitely 
be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1.  No one but their creator understands their
    internal logic.  
2.  The native language they use to communite is
    incomprehensible to everyone else.
3.  Even you smallest mistakes are stored in long-term
    memory banks for later retrieval.
4.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find
    yourself spending half you paycheck on accessories 
    on it. 

  
   
      Blonde Jokes (no offense)

#1 There was a blonde, burnet, and a redhead in jail. 
   The next day they are going to get shot.  All three 
   of them  didn’t want to die, so they came up with a 
   plan.  The next day finally came along.  The burnet
   went first...and when the gunman
   said, “Ready...aim...” the burnet quickly 
   yelled, “EARTHQUAKE!!!!”  Everyone got scared and
   fled.  So the burnet was saved.  The next day, the
   redhead went up to the platform.  When the gunman 
   said, “Ready...aim...” the redhead quickly
   yelled, “TORNADO!!!”  Everyone got scared and 
   fled.  So the redhead was saved.  The third day, 
   the blond went up to the platform.  When the gunman
   said, “Ready...aim...” the blonde quickly 
   yelled, “FIRE!!!” 

#2 A blonde wants to jump off a high building...Why?
   Because she wanted to test if her pad has wings. 

#3  How do you drown a blonde?
    Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of 
    the pool.

 

                Space Jokes

#1  The weary traveler went into a restaurant for
    dinner.  There was a piano player entertaining the
    patrons.  The weary traveler found the beautiful
    music very soothing.  As he intently watched the
    piano player, he suddenly saw an alien creature
    emerge from the top of the piano.  The piano
    player kept on playing as though he was unaware of
    what was happening.  The weary traveler stared in
    amazement.  Another alien creature crawled out of
    the piano.  The another -- and another.  Still the
    piano player kept on playing as if nothing out of
    the ordinary was happening.  Finally the weary
    traveler went over to the piano player and
    asked, “Do you know four alien creatures just
    climbed out of you piano?”
    “No,” the piano player replied, “but if you hum a 
    few bars, I can probably fake it!”

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