JC Chasez sighed as he looked at her, sleeping peacefully. How could she sleep, after what happened? he thought angrily. He wanted to kill her.

That scared him.

Couldn't she see what had happened? Their family had been torn apart a little less than a year ago. Their love was no longer there; they were together in name only. Their babies, their love, their hearts, all gone...swept away by loss...

She was his only love. When he had seen her, he had known that she was the one. The one who he cry out for. The one he would turn to. The one who would be there when no one else would.

He had finally gotten up the nerve to ask her out that same day. They immediately clicked, like there was some magnetic force pulling on them.

After that, they were hard to separate. JC had passed up several appearances on television, radio interviews, and even a concert just to be with her. Finally, the other guys came down on him hard, saying it was unfair to them, and that the couple didn't do anything when they were together.

And it was true. All they did was hold each other close, staring blankly into the future.

A year later, he had wanted to go public with their relationship. She was scared, but JC assured her it would be okay, and the word was spread.

The fans took it hard at first. Cruel jokes were made and bad things were said. However, JC became her crying shoulder and they made it. Eventually, the fans accepted her and even began to like her.

They should have, JC thought ruefully now, she made me happy.

Four years later, JC asked her to marry him. She said a very eager yes. They got married in Orlando before heading to Europe for their honeymoon.

Looking back on the wedding and honeymoon, JC remembered everything. It was so crazy! Fans followed them everywhere. JC had yelled at several of them, but she hadn't minded, just calmed him down and reminded him he should be grateful.

She hadn't minded. No matter what, she hadn't minded.

That night, they made love for the first time. It was such a memorable experience, that he had been the only person and would be the only person who would ever know her in this way.

Then, the best news was dropped on JC: she was pregnant! He was so excited, telling everyone all the details. 'I'm gonna be a dad!' he would say in every interview.

I'm gonna be a dad.

The words echoed in JC's mind, taunting him, haunting him. He had been a father...for a week.

JC wanted to be there every step of the way, so he went to the ultrasounds and check-ups. It turned out they were having twins.

Three months before the babies were due, she started having pains. The twins were coming, and they were coming now. JC had rushed her to the hospital. However, the babies were taken away five minutes after their birth. 'We need to check them up, being premature and stuff,' the doctors had said.


The babies had caught a disease, very hard to explain. Their chances of living were slim.

For seven days, JC and his wife watched as their babies faded away.

She was devastated after the official death and didn't come out of her room for a long time. They locked each other out of their lives, and managed to talk a little bit after they had counseling.

JC stared at her again. The moonlight cast soft shadows against her face, outlining the shadow of her eyelashes on her cheeks. The lips parted slightly, as if she was trying to say something. The hair spilling, curling softly around her shoulders and the pillow, created a beautiful portrait. He knew under those closed eyelids were her soulful brown eyes, and the pain stored inside.

He got up, packed some clothes, and kissed her one last time on the cheek. Then JC walked out of her life.

She woke up a few hours after he left. It was scary, she realized, to reach over to your loved one's side of the bed and find that they weren't there.

JC wasn't there.

She sat up slowly, glancing around.

Could he have gone to the bathroom? No, there was no light on in there.

Could he have gone downstairs for a glass of water? No, it just wasn't like JC to get a glass of water in the night.

Could he be playing his piano, tormenting himself? No, there was no music anywhere.

He's gone. I shouldn't have been so bitter. He stuck around as long as he could, trying to salvage our love and me as well. But I didn't listen. I'm paying the price. I deserve this.

She got up, looking around in the house for a sign of him. "JC!" she screamed out in anguish and hurt and hurried to the door in tears.

It was raining hard.

She ran out into it and welcomed the rain. It drenched her gown and her hair and washed away her tears. She was cold and shivering, but she didn't care. He had left her because she was too blind to see the love he had bestowed upon her.

And she would forever scream his name.

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