EPISODE 18 - KISS


Summary: The guys are auctioned off to women, and everyone's cool with it except for Chad, who's never been kissed by a grown woman. Chad: Noah Bastian. Jerry: Evan Farmer. Q.T.: Michael Cuccione. Doug: Kevin Farley.

My Review: This has to be the worst 2Gether episode ever! For a minute, I thought it was "undressed" that I was watching. Just when did my favorite series turn into a show I utterly despise? Is there even a point behind "kiss?" Let’s see...male prostitution, masturbation, striptease, threesome, group make-out session, betrayal of one’s brother, and hey, even a free kissing lesson. I could have never imagined that all the bad elements of the show would conveniently fit into one episode! How perfect!

What REALLY upsets me, however, is none of the above, but Evan’s character in this episode. Jerry has always been the leader, role model in the group: upholding his beliefs and refusing to give in even under pressure from whatever the source might be. It is this very factor that I admire Jerry; I admire his determination, ambition, firmness, and most importantly, his ability to distinguish right from wrong, acting as the guiding light for others. In another words, he is "the master of his life." I cannot understand how can Evan (Jerry) agree to participate in a "groupie activity" just because of Alex’s little reverse-psychology tactic? If Evan really feels secured, confident about himself, he should have refused the offer. He has to prove to no one. Oh boy, I really was disappointed at Evan (Jerry).

Another thing: what the 2Gether boys (mainly Evan and Alex) did – being paid to make-out with some strangers, is no different from male prostitution. I am sorry to say this, but that’s the truth. What is the message this episode is delivering, that it is okay to be irresponsible on the pretext of helping a good cause? Come on, I don’t think that’s funny. Love, to most people, seems to be based on this physical level. Speaking of that, I would like to share the following poem, written by John Donne, who is famous for poems like "Death, be not proud." Feel free to just scroll down and skip this part. I don’t care. Anyway, before you can understand this poem, you have to know a little bit about Donne. He secretly married Anne More, who was twelve years younger than he. After bearing twelve children for him, More died at the age of 33. One can only imagine Donne’s love for More. "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" was written for More, asking her not to mourn when he has to be absent for a period of time. This poem is rather hard to comprehend; it takes at least five readings to fully comprehend the deep meaning behind this love poem.

A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away, (our parting is like the death of virtuous men)
And whisper to their souls to go,
While some of their sad friends do say,
The breath goes now, and some say, no:

So let us melt, and make no noise, (this whole stanza refers to the parting)
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move; (let’s separate without tears)
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love (laity means ordinary; not to let ordinary people see our love because our love is superior than that

Moving of th’ earth brings harm and fears (when an earthquake occurs, one can feel it)
Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheres (but our love is like the trepidation of the spheres, can’t see)
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lover’s love (sublunary = ordinary people based their love on physical contact, which can’t last when separated)
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit (admit = accept)
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss. (careless about eyes, lips, etc.)

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion, (basically, Donne is saying that the love between him and More only expands with absence)
Like gold to airy thinness beat. (our love is like gold; if press it, it spreads out and expands)

If they be two, they are two so (they = soul)
As stiff twin compasses are two; (compass refers to a devise for drawing circles, made up of two straight and equal legs connected at one end)
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th’other do (their love is like the compass, two souls fixed to one point; if one leg (soul) moves, the other has to move as well)

And though it in the center sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam, (this stanza again compares their love with the compass; the movement of one leg has a direct effect on the other)
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as the comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just, (telling More, "if your love stays firm, our love can remain intact, like a circle")
And makes me end, where I begun.

 So there, an brief analysis of one of the most beautiful love poems! Don't you wish people still write poems like that nowadays? Anyway, where was I? Oh, I really DO NOT need to see Kevin in his underwear...that was SO gross! As soon as he starts unbuttoning his shirt, I knew "that" is coming. I HATE IT SO MUCH!!! Why are they making Kevin such a desparate man? It is certainly not funny to degrade him like this. Kevin, or Doug, DESERVES BETTER!

There are few scenes in this episode that really bug me. First of all, a woman, who is mature enough to make-out with two guys at once, should not be clapping her hands like a little kid every 5 seconds. Also, I cannot stand the Kevin/Alissa kissing scene. They look more like father/daughter than a couple. Perhaps the casting could have done better. Lastly, the record company guy's "Jesus Talk" (whatever his name is) just brutally ruins a romantic scene between him and Josie (the wheel-chair girl, played by Jewel Staite)

I bet you are getting tired of hearing my complaints, esp. if you are one of those who actually enjoyed this episode. "Kiss" just didn't work for me. I guess the only things I kinda like are the Noah/Cyndi kissing scene, which turns out to be quite cute, and the word "succulent." I give it a D. Sorry.