The Kids

By Christa Taniguchi

DO NOT COPY!!

Scene 1:
Our story begins in a small classroom which holds a class full of screaming, annoying 7-year-olds and the principal MR. KANIFF, an elderly bald man in his late 50's. He is there to introduce the sub MR. SHADY, a younger man in his mid 20's with short bleached blonde hair, since their original teacher MS. TANIGUCHI, a young girl in her early 20's with long dark hair, couldn't come attend school that day.

MR. KANIFF

Hello children, I'd like to introduce your new sub for the day since Ms. Taniguchi couldn't come to school since she's out with the cold. His name is Mr. Shady.

Suddenly a loud and annoying outspoken child by the name of BRIAN, a small blonde-haired boy, speaks out.

BRIAN

She got aids! She don't got a cold!

MR. KANIFF looks at MR. SHADY with a hopeless look.

MR. KANIFF

Good luck Mr. Shady!

MR. SHADY walks in the classroom and glances at all the children with their name tags up on their desks, soon he realizes there is a child named CRACKHEAD, who has hair that is dyed blue and a rough bad boy look. Immediately he takes action and thinks of a wonderful subject for the day.

MR. SHADY

Today were going to discuss drugs, children. Seeing that one of your children holds the name Crackhead, I think it might be a good idea to discuss how bad drugs really are.

CRACKHEAD

I don't wanna discuss drugs! We all know drugs are bad we don't need to hear about it, you "BEEP BEEPITY BEEP BEEPER!"

MR. SHADY

Well Crackhead, that is my schedule for the day so it is what I will discuss.

BRIAN

You got aids!

MR. SHADY

Yeah I know, any ways, none of y'all children should do drugs, that's all your parents think I do.

Suddenly a blonde girl with pigtails named CLAIRE speaks up.

CLAIRE

Mr. Shady, aren't you a rapper named Eminem?

MR. SHADY

Yeah, I'm the real slim shady, so won't the real slim shady please stand up.

CRACKHEAD stands up.

CRACKHEAD

NO! I'm THE REAL SLIM SHADY! Not you you "BEEP BEEPITY BEEPER!"

MR. SHADY

Any ways, back to the subject. Children drugs are bad so just don't do them. They'll mess you u-----

MR. SHADY is interupted when MS. TANIGUCHI walks in the room.

MS. TANIGUCHI

Mr.! What are you telling my children!?? They are too young to be learning this, they're only 7! Today you're supposed to teach them math, what are you doing?

MR. SHADY

But Ms.! There's a child named Crackhead in your classroom and it bothered me.

MS. TANIGUCHI

It doesn't matter and is none of your business, any ways, you're Eminem! What do you talk about in your songs! And you're hear telling these children to not do drugs!!

MR. SHADY

No mam, today I am Mr. Shady and that only thank you very much and I think these children should learn.

MS. TANIGUCHI

They'll learn in time now leave them alone before you teach them the wrong thing you rotten man!!

MR. SHADY

Yes Ms. I'll leave now! I hope your children grow up to be just like me!!

MS. TANIGUCHI

No there's only one real Slim Shady, sorry.

After that MS. TANIGUCHI slams the door then turns to her class.

MS. TANIGUCHI

Well children, today our subject will be marijuana!

Scene 2:
This scene begins as MS. TANIGUCHI enters the classroom which is full of the same usual children. A week has passed since the incident.

MS. TANIGUCHI

Today we have a nice little slogan for you kids to know, "It Pays To Stay In School." For the next two weeks that will be what you guys will learn since Brian and Crackhead have been missing so many classes lately.

BRIAN interupts her speech.

BRIAN

I've been sick!! You got aids!!

MS. TANIGUCHI

Thanks Brian but we all know that is not school. I have been told that you have been seen at the park and in stores when you were supposed to be sick. That is just a silly lie boy!

BRIAN

No I'm not lying! Crackhead is though!

CRACKHEAD

No I'm not you crackhead! I have been sick! I got a cold!

MS. TANIGUCHI

You children are so dishonest, I'm sending you to the principal's office.

MS. TANIGUCHI sits down at her desk and writes out to referalls for the children to go the principal's office. She gets up and hands it to them and drags them out the door.

CRACKHEAD

Unhand me you "BEEP BEEPITY BEEPER!"

BRIAN

AIDS!! AIDS!!! I don't want aids!! Don't touch me!!

Finally she manages to get them to leave then they walk out to the office. MS. TANIGUCHI turns to the class.

MS. TANIGUCHI

Now let's finish our discussion on why it pays to stay in school!

MS. TANIGUCHI shows a wide grin.

Scene 3:
This scene begins as the children take a field trip to a high school to visit the 11th graders. BRIAN and CRACKHEAD are absent once again.