PART 2: It's a Hard Knock Life
(What really happened)
Told by Maria Perez

PROLOGUE:

OMG!!! That stupid Nicole!!! Obviously the first part of this dumb story was written by my sis, Nicole. She is sooooo stupid!! That isn't even close to what REALLY happened. First of all lemme get a few really important thing straight!! None of my sisters are married or did they have kids. This stupid concert thing happened a year ago. Now I'm 21, Katrina is 22, Nicole is 19, and little Amanda is 17. Got is?? So we wuz all a year younger. (DUH!!) Well anyways, they is all unmarried nor engaged, k? Me? Yo, I HAVE a life just aint wit' any of those peoples, k?? So here's da story bout what really happened wit' the HARD KNOCK LIFE tour and when we won tickets, k???

We wuz all chillin' at mi casa listenin' to Redman's Cd. WE wuz NOT listenin' to Jay-z we wuz listenin' to REDMAN, k?? AND now that I am on the subject, I LIKE REDMAN AND HIS SONGS!!!! I WOULD NEVER CALL THE SONG "I'LL BE DAT" STUPID CUZ I LOVE THAT SONG, K?? But I would throw skittles at him, so...um...maybe Nicole did get SOMETHING right, but it wasn't skittles, k? Another candy...hint. ANd another thing, Nicole LOVES Jay-z. Well anyways that's the song we wuz listenin' to, then all ova sudden the phone rang. So I sprinted over the bed while lowering the stereo then answered the phone. "Yo?" I greeted.

"Yo wuzzup girly. Dis is B96, is dis Maria Perez??" The radio VJ guy asked.

"Yeah, wuzzup?" I replied.

"Guess what, Maria..?" The guy asked.

"WHAT!!!" I shouted.

"You and 3 friends get to go to the HARD KNOCK LIFE TOUR!! YOU have FRONT ROW seats and BACKSTAGE passes!!! Congratulations!!!!" He shouted. I was sooooo shocked, I learned what is was like to be paralyzed, that I was, but I manged to speak.

"AAHH!! OMG!!! I WON!! I WON!!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!!" I shouted. HEHE!! It wuz tight, k?? So I got all the details and all that stuff and told my sistas, they were all happy!!! So we all screamed and wowies, we was goin' to the tour! Da concert!! It was happenin!! I could not believe it, but if I only knew what kinda experience it would be.

CHAPTER 1: Da Plane Flight

Okay, I know all these peoples have stories to tell about their plane experiences but mine is one of the worse. Ya'll are probaly thinking, "Katrina turned red" but that's not what really happened, k?? What happened wuz really embarassing...for me.

So me and Katrina wuz sittin' in da same seat before the plane took off. Well that girl wuz really red for some reason, so she opened the window. I didn't know this was happening cuz I was reading a book. So the plane starts but it can't take off cuz that window is open. Well there's a big fuss bout it and people call me the dumb butt's friend since I was sittin' by her. I hate that plane flight!!!!

Well the rest of the plane flight was aight, but I never wanted to sit by Kat on a plane again.

CHAPTER 2: Candy

Like I toldya I had to buy some candy to throw at Redman outta pure boredness. So before we gots in line fot the concert I decided I wanted to go to a liquor store. There I bought like 20 bags of M & M's. NOT SKITTLES!! Skittles are tooooo original and + M&M's are da bomb!!! And Nicole didn't get anything to throw at Shawn so ya'll can see that this time I aint gonna get hit in the head with a box, k??????

Well I also bought a big thing of Mountain Dew so I wouldn't fall asleep and so did my sistas and that was they way of it in that stupid liquor store. Then we left and got in line all singin' "I'll Be Dat" like a bunch of drunk idiots, but yo, we WEREN'T drunk!!!

CHAPTER 3: SEATS!

The peoples started to let us in and we all ran in lika bunch of jackbutts. We got our special seats, VIP BABY!!!! We sat our butts down and were jumping around lika bunch of jackbutts. We sat there and patiently awaited for da stupid show to start. Katrina was having a nervous breakdown. Nicole had passed out. Amanda was watery-eyed! It was crazy, me? I was normal cuz I AM a NORMAL person! Except I like to throw M&M's at peoples, cuz it's fun!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked at them and rolled my eyes and thinking of what stupid sisters I had. I excused myself to go the bathroom. I sat down in there and thought about how they had always been stupid, so, so, so stupid.

CHAPTER 4: PERFORMER NUMERO UNO!

Who was it??? REDMAN BABY!!!!! I got out my M&M's and prepared for WAR! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! He hopped on da stage and broke into the song, "Da Goodness." I broke open up a bag of M&M's then started throwing right away. It was quite funny, actually. Most of the M&M's hit him in the face. Finally he realized it was me and shot me dis DIRTY ol' look. Man I was freaked out. Finally he bent down to the floor and picked up some of my litter and threw it at me. It landed in my mouth. I had no idea where that M&M had been. I wanted to go throw up or somethin' but I decided not to. I just shot him an EXTRA dirty look and threw a whole bag of M&M's at the side of his head, the bag was partly open so it was raining M&M's. I laughed. It was funny but scary, I ate an M&M that came off of a dirty floor. EEWIE!!! Man, I am never eatin' M&M's.

CHAPTER 5: PERFORMER NUMERO DOSE!!

Well...it looks like Nicole had something right!!! The order of the performers at least!!! Obviously that means that Method Man was next. WOOPIE!! Luckily I had 10 bags of M&M's left. WAHOO!! I dunno why I had this sudden urge to go on a M&M throwing fest. Well anyways Method Man comes runnin on the stage startin' to sing "Judgement Day." Well there's still M&M's up there and the jack butt slips on them and slides into the audience...right on top of Katrina. Man this girl turns BRIGHT red, I mean her man just like fell on top of her. So he apologized then climbs back on stage. I love dat song "Judgement Day." 2 for the black and da blue, 1 step into Millenium. As I walked to...Oh excuse me. Well I started throwing M&M's and profanity for some reason was subjected my way. I mean would cuss or somethin' in the song and stare at me and say it loud. It was scary so I gave the M&M's to Katrina and kept my peace and sang along and stayed normal.

CHAPTER 6: PERFORMER NUMERO TRES!!

Just as you suspected it wuz DMX (Dark Man of the Unknown). He hopped onto the stage and started singin, well rappin "my song" The Ruff Ryders Anthem. I wuz so happy at that moment sittin' there rappin along, me and my sistas, we was all going crazy over DMX's performance since there was no strange interuptions and stuff. It was perfectly normal. THANK YA!!!! Well DMX brought peace to the crowd and all. YA!

CHAPTER 7: PERFORMER NUMBER QUATRO!!

Gee, it must be Shawn Carter, aight. Jay-z for ya'll that don't know. Well this is a little difference cuz unlike what Nicole said I don't get hit in the head with a flying box of skittles. That was evil of her k! So he like comes on the stage and sings the tightest, tightest, tightest song eva. Well it kinda goes like this, "what's me name!??!?!? JIGGA!!!" Yeah!!!!!! We waz all happy except for stupid Katrina who makes fun of that song. Well I got bored cuz he was singin' this nasty boring song called, "Aint no N****." So I got out some M&M's and started throwing. More profanity thrown at me, only he wasn't quite as intimidating as Method Man. He don't got those freaky eyes. I mean ya ask anyone, Method Man stare at you with those eyes ya think he gonna kill you or something. Well anyways that's what happened, then he announced a special guest. No it wasn't the ODB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 8: SPECIAL PERFORMER!!!

Lez see, ya'll are probably dieing to know who it was, it was none other than Puffy, Puff Daddy, Sean. YEAH!! So Puffy and Jay-hovah sang this TIGHT song they sing together called, "Do You Like It....Do You Want It." Iz on Puffy's CD, if ya wanna know. So they rap that song, then Puffy raps "Best Friend." Katrina starts crying cuz it's kinda sad. Man I couldn't throw M&M's and Puffy! He was kinda scary ya know, I mean he looked scary up there. I mean I had never seen him so close and up close he was SCARY!!! SCARY!!!

CHAPTER 9: BACKSTAGE------IZ aLL GooD!

Well like I said we were gonna go backstage. I was scared, I mean 3 guys like 1 foot taller than me were gonna remember the M&M's girl, that brat!!! So we all went backstage. Katrina was having another one of her nervous breakdowns while mumbling, "Method Man, OMG, I'm gonna have to face him after the accident." I slapped her, "SHUT UP! You think YOU have problems."

"Well it was your stupid fault!" She shouted. I just ignored the comment then we all showed the gueard out backstage passes and there we were face-2-face with these five guys we had just seen perform.

"YOU!" Method Man shouted and pointed at me, "Why the **** was you throwing candy at me??"

I gulped, "I was bored." He just smiled, he wasn't mad after all, well I think it was cuz he saw Katrina. It was like "love at first sight" between them two. Man the moment they looked at each other it was like Romeo and Juliet, hot....well never mind that song. I avoided looking at this. Next I hear another person shout, "YOU!" I turned around and there was Redman. "What?" I asked nervously, "I'M SORRY!! I'M SOOO SORRY!! I'LL NEVER THROW M&M's AT YOU AGAIN!! DON'T KILL ME!!" I didn't realize it but I was down on my knees praying. Nicole started to break into uncontrolable laughter until she was rolling on the floor. I fled to the bathroom in embarrasment. According to the quiet Amanda this is what happened while I was gone:

Well Method Man and Katrina started a little conversation together. (WOO!!!) AT this point did I predict there happy life together. And well Nicole was flirting like CAH-RAZY wit' Redman, also they were making fun of me. I still have to face Shawn, huh? Well anyways I didn't wanna think of profanity. Well Amanda was trying to talk with DMX, cuz they were the peaceful type and all, and it was funny but I'll shut up, cuz...well anyways. Nobody wanted to talk wit Jigga and Puffy, cuz they were both ina bad mood or somethin. Jay-Z had a reason, but Puffy I'll never know why Amanda said he was in a bad mood. Soon enough Katrina and Method Man went outside to get a little "fresh air." Amanda and Nicole knew it wasn't for "freash air." HEHEHEHE!!!!! A little after that I walked outta the bathroom. Nicole and Redman tried to avoid contact with me, the phycopath. I looked the other way and saw Shawn and Sean. And of course he recognized me, "So it's you?" he asked, "I thought you looked familar." I was just a little confused.

"What?" I asked.

"You're the girl who was throwing M&M's at me then I started putting bad stuff towards your way, I'm sorry." He apologized. I didn't understand cuz I was a little dumfounded ever since we won the stupid tickets. "I'm sorry too." I smiled. I saw aleast four people staring at me like I was suffering from rehabilitation. I had to defend myself, "What?" I asked outloud. Everbody just shook their heads, they though I was more crazy.

I decided to get a little fresh air outside, and there I saw the most horrid sight that anyone would ever wanna see. There stood Katrina and Method Man kissing each other. I ran back inside and saw more unnecissary conduct. Like I said Nicole and Redman were talking, right? Well Nicole suddenly blushes and says, "You're cute" for some reason, then Redman says, "You too." Then they smile these REALLY cheesy smiles at each other and start walking away from the crowd. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walk into the room where Amanda, DMX, Shawn, and Sean stand. "Is something wrong, Maria?" Amanda asked. "Yah, lots." I reply nervously. "Whateva!" Amanda concluded and gives me her stupid "w" sign. I sat down on this couch and looked up at the wall wondering how much longer I would be there. According to my resourse of Katrina this is what was happening outside (LOL):

Katrina and Method Man had just finished kissing. They both stared into each other's eyes intensely, if it wasn't love? After that they hugged. They hugged for a little while more then started kissing again. That's probably what happened between them two for the next, who knows how long.

Back to me, the idiot. I sat in the middle of a couch staring up at the wall. It was interesting because it was multi-colored, I like multi-colored walls. Finally I was joined by the two SHAENS, hey it's the only thing I can think of.

"Wuzzup?" Puffy asked. OMG, I wasn't alone!! Well anyways, meanwhile with Nicole and Redman this is what happened. They obviously started kissing then he asked her to be his girlfriend. IT was SOOOO sa-weet!!!

Amanda and DMX were still talking I could see they would stay only friends cuz I know Amanda and she's not the know him 20 minutes then make out typa girl. Meanwhile I was still talkin' wit' Shawn and Sean. I guess Jay-Z wasn't mad at me for throwing' M&M's!!! OMG!!!!!! And Puffy didn't get the torture. I means they were kinda nice actually, they don't seem nice in the interviews though. Well whatever.

At the moment the two lovers walked in from outside. I snickered and asked, "have you two been doin' somethin' naughty?" The stupid whore flipped me off. "Why is your sister so mean to you?" Sean asked.

"Cuz I'm mean to her." I replied.

"Oh." They both replied. There walked Katrina and Method Man hand in hand and they left out to go somewhere to eat. OMG, that meant we would probably be there for like another hour or so now while they went to feat and kiss. Soon after that so did the other happy couple leave to some night club. I looked at stupid Amanda who was attempted conversation, "Amanda?"

"What?" Amanda asked cheerfully.

"What time iz it?" I asked. She started at her watch, by now it was getting close to midnight. OMG!!! We would be spending the night in the backstage of a concert place. OMG, that is soooooooooooooooooooooo pathetic. I was getting tired and decided to take a nap somewhere. I yawned hoping they would ask me if I was tired or something then tell me where I could possibly sleep. "Are you tired?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah." I replied still yawning. "If you wanna go to sleep somewhere you could go in that little room, "He replied.

"Okay, thanks." I replied then got up and started walking towards the room. "Goodnight." I mumbled quietly. "Goodnight." they said. I walked into the room and fell fast asleep in the room. This is what Amanda told me about what happened while I was napping.

"Well...about 3 hours later, Katrina and Method Man returned from places, and so did Nicole and Redman." Then they all had to find places to sleep. While since they were couples both of them took one of the sofas and snuggled up together REAL close. AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW, how sa-weet!!!!! After I found out about the other sleeping arragements peoples made I felt REAL bad bout' having a whole king size bed to myself.

The next morning I was the first to wake up. I trampled out of the room and tripped on peoples. After that I saw peoples all cuddled up on the sofa. I bit my tongue then walked outside to get some fresh air. It was a fairly sunny day, and across the street there was a McDonald's. Since I was quite hungry since the only thing I had eaten in the past 12 hours was an M&M I ran to the MC. I ordered number 2 and ate it. When I was done I walked back to the concert hall hoping some peoples would be awake. Sure enough Amanda was awake and shot me the most evil look, "BED HOG!!"

"What?" I defended, "It wasn't my fault." Amanda rolled her eyes.

"These otha bums need ta get up, I wanna leave." Amanda announced.

"I know, me too." I replied. We both sat in a corner and waited for everyone else to awake, I mean didn't they have concerts to attend or something? Well perform anyways. Well we got bored and started singing "Hard Knock Life" for some reason. It was funny. We was hoping dat some peoples would wake up, but that wasn't happen. Well some peoples did. Katrina and Nicole wokes up then we left. Looks like it was a "one night stand" for some peoples. Hopefully we would never meet them again.

THE END!!!