Hey do you like the colour? This is what happens when you type in a random hex number in the color tag
When you start a brand spanking new Angelfire page, they give you a lovely template for the index.html file. One of the things on this is space to put in...
August 26, 2001-S'been a whiiiiilllee
Fuck man, it's been like 6 months since I wrote anything here. Fuckitty fuck. Hello censorship, I said fuck. Way mature.
Some dude was trying to sign me up for "Multi Level Marketing" today (yes, Amway). People in shitty schemes are always so friendly. He came into work and his food was like half an hour late and yet still he sounded pleased to see me. So I decided to play with him. Words like Pyramid Selling and Time Sharing are wonderful arn't they. If he wasn't such a friendly guy he would have been cranky. But not Ray, he just kept on smiling and preaching about the paradise that I could look forward to. Such things as working for 20 hours a month and getting paid 2 grand for it could be mine and all I had to do is suck his di...I mean join his fabulous cult of cheerful salesmen that somehow don't have anything to sell, just an idea.
I think I'm out of my everything/nothing phase, I read things like IWANTANEWGIRLFRIEND and they just don't cut the mustard like they used to. I feel a part of me is gone to dust. I guess that's a good thing.
This post is more than likely gonna be a sign off for me, disliking e/n sites doesn't lead well into having one of my own and anyways I never bother to update and it's too hard trying to sound like seinfeld every couple of days. A funny thing did not happen on the way to the bus. I really never have noticed the way toasters get all mouldy crumbs in the bottom and I DON'T CARE anymore. Goodbyeeeee!
April 6, 2001-Why I suck
Copied from my post on LegoMan's World because I wanted it here too
Oh dear, I just realised something...
The World, as I've come to term this lovely piece of mostly me talking shit, has become my first stop on the net, *no matter where I am*. At other people's places, at uni, at home, in the bath, jerki...sitting around this place has become stoppo numero oneo (daddy-o). And more sadly, it's usually the last one I check before I leave too. And numerous times in the middle. Dan, you've come to almost monopolise my net time. And for that I both thank you and loathe you. Hell, I come here instead of looking at furniture porn and that just can't be right.
So here I am, reading The World. And the one single entry made since I last checked it. Now I'll check my email, to discover I have none. And then back here to see if someone's replied. But since the sum total of all people that post here more than once are on both my icq and msn lists, I think I'd notice them being around to post, which they're not
I love how you can just speel on and on and on when it's really late. Imagine if I put this kinda stuff on my webpage, it'd be more of the e/n lovelies I claim it to be rather than me bitching about Blink182 going pop (which has been like the last 4 updates or something)
Oh. And my sister got ANOTHER Blink poster out of Dolly this month. Those readers must only own one cd in their whole lives. Constant Enema of the State, that'd make for a happy neighbourhood as those rebellious clones crank up the volume to exactly loud enough to be annoying but not loud enough to be cool or appropriate (there is a lot in punk that can only be heard when it's up really loud, prolly resonances bouncing around your brain or something)
What would I know, I'm not going to have eardrums in 5 years time. But by then there'll be mechanical ones and I can be a biocyborg dude. Then I really will live up to my self proclaimed title "the sex machine"
won't that be cool when we achieve artificial intelligence and all the sex machines start going out for a change. I can just imagine a "special friend" going up to some girl in the bar going:
And what if supercomputers got AI. They'd be like the brainiac nerds being outcast by all the Pentium 4's in their bright orange convertibles with hordes of blue slaves blowing vacuum cleaners at people and stealing their lightbulbs.
Holy shit, that is like the best post I've ever written, it's perfect e/n. The kind I always wished I could write. Well screw that, I'm copying it and putting it on my site right now.
Maybe that's the secret, be really tired and bored. But I think Nessa manages it with the ecstasy. Each to their own
"hey baby, I'm fully charged"
or "hey baby, I keep going and going and going"
or the australian variant of that one..."OI!"
or "hey baby, I'm a sex machine"
or "hey baby, I'll push your buttons if you'll just push on"
or "hey baby, with this power adapter you'll go flat before I do"
April 1, 2001-Fuck girls man. And fuck friends too
Ahh fuck em all. Bitterness time. Went clubbin last night, having a great ol time. So me and a coupla mates decide to hit the dance floor and shake some bootay. Shake we go. Those arseholes have girls on them (in one guy's case, the girl was bending over backwards ON HIM) within the space of one song (and George Michael's Wake me up, Before u Go-Go at that...) whilst lil old gareth gets to watch on in disgust (may I point out it started off as 3 of us dancing with a group of 4 girls...2 of which walked off when I was the last remaining choice)
Ok, so they wern't exactly walking boners and they had faces like smacked arses. BUT I'm pissed because of the principle behind it. Makes you feel like such a loser when you're the only one left behind standing there feeling more and more the fool. Fuck I hate girls. Wish I had one so I could hate them from a more informed viewpoint.
Okie, happy time now! Promise!
Ooooooo, the Blink concert's tomorrow, so stoked (hearing the cover band playing Dammit last night just got me so ready). Fingers crossed that I'll score some schoolgirl or get to hoist up a tittygirl or something, that'd just so make my night. Have I remarked on that before, how now that I'm older schoolgirls are just WAY sexy. Like at school, nyer see em every day. Don't think that had worn off last year cause they just looked like lil kids. But this year, holy shit! I'm lovin it. Maybe I'll grow up to be a peadophile. Ahh well good thing I've got the net then! Nar I could never be a peadophile...hey:
What did one peadophile say to another?
Swap you two 5's for a 10
What's so great about a 10 year old boy?
Roll him over, he's a 10 year old girl!!
Hehehehehe I love sick bad tasteless humor. Some child rights activist is prolly gonna hate me for this. Looks like a Hate Crime trial coming on.
Wouldn't that be fun, being in a hate crime trial for whatever it is, don't you get charged for disliking a minority group or something. What if a blind guy was there and noone knew he was blind...
Prosecution: You punched this guy cause he's a black asian hemaphrodite stripper didn't you!
Blind Dude: Nar, I punched him cause he's a fuckwit and he tried to steal my wallet
What about all the other minorities, there's a lot of them around. Like maybe the KKK. Yes I know they're horrible but they are a minority, so if you hit one does that make it a hate crime or is it ok because he's in the special minority?
Moral crusade over. Goodnight kiddies.
Oh! PS today is Mel's birthday!! Woot! What a fucking awesome day to be born, April Fools. I would give so much to have been born on this day, maybe I just desperately want to be funny.
PPS, I really do have more belief in myself that I make out, I'm just fishing for sympathy dates :) Sleep tight fair princes and princesses
March 23, 2001-More me pointing out the flaws of the world
Whinge time...tonight I was refused entry to a pub's nightclub because I wasn't wearing a belt. In a place and society and age group and universe where guys mainly don't tuck their shirts in (me being one of them) I was stopped because of not having something that would be hidded under 4 inches of cloth. Shyeah. Pardon me young sir proprieter, I failed to observe the signpost calling to attention the location of your country club. Fuck people, get the pole out of your arse, I just wanted to hang wit some buds.
Got me thinkin though, isn't it weird how dressy clothes look really really stupid except on a small number of people who are too attractive anyway? Like dress shoes, I see many many people in their cargo pants (no drama there) and super dressy shoes. Something about that just strikes a chord of wrongness in me. Or if someone weard the kind of Armani Suit that seems to be the only thing that makes the effort of the shoes worthwhile....they just look like tossers for being so dressy. Arg I'm not making any sense, if you saw the people i see when they're all dressed up, you'd know and understand. Just go live in your damn world of the Teen Movie where everyone is rich and never works and nobody is ugly and the class nerd turns out to be the hottest piece of ace in the upper state district principality central instead of a pale blotchy no-confidense loser
With the amount of sense I'm kaing now, you'd think I'd be drunk. Far from it sadly maybe I should rectify that situation, yeah
Sop while I'm getting pissed by myself (Hi I'm Gareth, and I'm an Alcoholic...) drop by this new site, run by Dan. And post on his messageboard, it's a good place to say Norgs. LegoMan's World
March 16, 2001-Mega Stoked
Wooot! Just finished my first internet purchase ever, tickets to once awesome Blink 182. Not bad effort I thought, since the concert's on in 2 weeks. Time to see some 15 year old boobies I feel :) Seriously, my loyalties compelled me to go, since then I'll have seen all 3 of my fav bands in the space of like 6 months (saw Millencolin and Green Day at livid last year) and hearing the Blink boys playing live will definitely renew my belief that I'll be able to play at least as well as a professional band within a couple of weeks of getting that Bass I've been so obsessing over lately (my lastest ploy to get laid - learn retard guitar). Cause have u heard them live? Wince! Still, it's gonna be way grouse, and I can shout out requests for songs that arn't off Enema and all these girls will wonder what the hell I'm talking about, like that stupid foolish teeny bopper slut whore bitch at my sister's b'day party that was convinced that Dammit was from Enema, and wouldn't believe me when I said she was a hopeless case.
Man I suck, look at that above paragraph, blaaahhh.
Like, this site is cool and stuff. And this one is kinda strange, the webmaster keeps saying how much he hates e/n, but then he hires like 4 people to contribute "humor columns" that are very much like...guess what...e/n. They're more e/n than humor anyway, cept the Jennifer Layton ones, they are actually funny.
March 10, 2001-New theory of relativity
I was sitting around today, as I am wont to do, and noticed how fast the time was passing. Actually that thought came to me when I was reading a book ("Good Omens" by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaimen) and an angel goes "oh, FUCK". I cast my mind back to the first time I ever said fuck. I was 7 or 8 and playing footie with my dad in the front yard, the ball went over the touch line and I went "aww fuck" in my piping little boy voice.
I got sent to my room for half an hour.
That seemed like forever, stuck inside my musty old room. Urrgh. Or the time I refused to make my bed or get dressed or anything when I was 4ish, sent to my room for 5 minutes. 5 minutes isn't enough time to get comfy in a beanbag and yet at the time I was begging mum to reconsider such a harsh punishment.
Nowadays I can sit around doing very little (possibly staring at a screen) for a whole day and wonder where the time went. Maybe when you get older time goes faster. Bit of a rip off that. That must be why old people are so cranky all the time.
In other news, my friends forgot to get me a ticket to see The Offspring tomorrow night, but that's ok cause they thought I was going with other ppl and it was probably too expensive for me anyway (60 bucks!! fuck that!). I so don't care, I just found out that there are still tickets to Blink182 available, ahh I'll get to see my first ever favourite (former) punk band liiiiiive. And if they suck (ie, if they keep playing Enema songs) then I can just go up the front, turn around and enjoy the wonderful view of girls on shoulders with no tops on. Ahh the perks of a Blink concert.
March 1, 2001-In the absense of anything clever to write
Here's an update, cause I'm bored. Go prank someone on mIRC, tis good fun. Bye
February 25, 2001-White trash trashing whites....WTF?
Yesterday was my annual "tape channel [v]'s Big Day Out special" day, since the last few years they've played full sets and it's been awesome since I'm always too stingy to go since there's never enough good bands (unlike Livid) but yeah, having the video is awesome since i get to watch the few that I like. Anyways, this year they were just playing a few songs from each band. At The Drive In came on for their little slot of time, at the start they made some kind of pussy speech about how they won't let the crowd mosh or crowdsurf (this is during the day time in a small indoor venue at BDO). So they play a couple of songs that belonged in the 70's (and for good reason) basically it's just clashing chords played really really fast with the vocalist running around like there's a gerbil up his arse. Shithouse music, shithouse performance, but I say listen to what u enjoy so I won't pass judgement. As is the case with a rock band, their fans went ape shit. So they stopped playing and get this...they say:
ARE YOU ALL JUST TYPICAL WHITE PEOPLE. CAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE IT TO ME. YOU'RE ALL SHEEP....BAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAA SHEEP! YOU LEARNED THIS FROM TV
They then went on to say how sad it is that the people feel a need to mosh bla bla bla. What the fuck is it with the white people statement?? Here is a band who if you poured bleach on them they'd actually get darker and they're making out like if you're white you're born evil. I fucking HATE anti-white racism, mainly cause it can be so blatent and always goes unnoticed or nooone cares, since it's only racism if you're not white. I know that other racism is just as horrible but really what's the difference? Except that nobody seems to give a fuck about anti-white statements. And you're at a music festival watching your favourite band...of course you're gonna go sick. It just happens that way.
February 15, 2001-It's named after a fucking celebate
Well, the worst day of the year has come and gone. I hope you all had amazing sex, just like I didn't. I wrote a big long post for today but then I decided that it's pretty lame whinging on here. So just read the piece on Stile Project instead. You should be there before you go here anyway.
February 1, 2001-My fucking dream girl
This was never intended as the e/n goodness that it's become now. It was going to be my ultra witty observations about normal life...an original concept I know but I thought I could work it. Turns out that's pretty much how most e/n sites evolve. Then you've got the awesome ones that somehow manage to pull it off. Oh well this kills time for me occasionally.
Maybe I should stop posting the dates of my posts here, so that my *ahem* regular readers don't feel dissappointed that I've forgotten I have a site for a month or two. I'm sure both of them would be most pleased.
This'll kill some time for you, these bands are cool... Millencolin, The Ataris, Blink182 (well they used to rock), NOFX, MXPX, The Offspring, Unwritten Law, Frenzal Rhomb, Green Day, Bodyjar, 28 Days
That'll do, I've had enough of typing "bandname.com". It doesn't look clever anymore. Hey remember when it was really awesome if a business or band or whatever had a website. They'd put up a huge ad saying they've got one and you'd just have to check out things like http://www.kellogs.com.au or some shit like that. And you were a super geek if you could remember gaming sites like Happy Puppy. Oh, and of course the ad for whatever website had to include the "http://www." part of it or else noone could ever find it. My how the times have changed. The net is cool now. So why am I still not cool? I'm old school internet so I should be revered by the millions of people who only know how to get to AOL.com. Those people should be shot. Life is so unfair. Maybe if I went back to being a newbie and used handles like "Netguy" I'd be cool again.
Or I could just go on MIRC and be loved by thousands because I know what the sun looks like
January 8, 2001-Brand new year!
A brand new year, and I haven't fucked anything up yet. Going strong.
I made an observation a few days ago, now I know I'm not on the top of a girl's christmas list anymore, but there was a time when somehow I seemed to be seen as not half bad in my own right. Unfortunately for that whole time, about 2 years, I was far too far taken with someone who was completely unattainable for me (she laughed in my face when I asked her out). Anyways, a fair few other girls had little sparks for me during that time...actually it's the only time I've ever been asked out, woulda been about 5-6 times I got asked too. Now the clincher..during that time, and so far the only time in my life (I swear!) I was ALWAYS staring at breasts, everywhere I went, hello muffins. Like, I'd be talking one-one with a girl, and probably wouldn't be able to tell you what colour her eyes were. Why the hell was I more popular then? It was kinda embarrasing so I made a great effort to stop it and now I'm really really good about that, I only sneak pervs every now and then. What the fuck is with that hey? Maybe I should start my oggling again, it'd make me a happy chappy anyway
Hey is there an easy way to do frames for a page just writing in pure html, I'm too lazy to use an editor and I've decided it's time to stop having a stupid e/n site with no direction. I gots a couple of ideas about a stupid e/n site with a few features. But it'd still be a stupid e/n site that never gets updated. Drop me a line if u know how.
December 27, 2000-Still chugging along
It's christmas time, again
It's time to be nice to the ppl who u can't stand, all year
I'm growing tried of all this christmas cheer.
You ppl scare me, please stay away from my home,
if you don't wanna get me down, just leave the presents
and then leave me ALONE!!
That's exactly the kind of scene I didn't have to suffer this year!! A christmas at HOME was all mine! If you knew my cousins (who were ONE THOUSAND KILOMETERS AWAY), you'd know why I'm so cheerful about this! I even watched "Miracle on 34th Street" and loved it that's how christmassy I was feeling! I spose getting some phat swag was a good part to play in my christmas cheer. And the food! Oh the food! Lovely wonderful lets-kill-the-lanky-geek-look food! Oh god I love christmas! I hope you all had as wonderful a time as me. A kitchenhand at work, Galina, gave me a present too! That was such a touching thing for her to do I was absolutely over the moon.
I'm so glad christmas was so awesome, cuz I'd had a fucked up week leading up to it. Whinge whinge blah blah complain. There I'm done. My week sucked, that's all there is to say.
I'm so scrounging for ideas. If I could update here when I actually have my update ideas I'd be a lot happier. Like at work, I have heaps of ideas. Or in the shower. Or when someone else is on the puta. Whatever.
Fuck it, I'm going to bed. Here's a pic I stole from SMELLSLIKECHEESE
December 17, 2000-Old Man Boris!
Golly by gimminie what a while it's been. Changed the name of my l33t page to a more apporpriate title and so much more! Holidays are so grand.
But on holidays, when you have little to do in the daytimes (stupid fucking work, friday/saturday nights GOODBYE life) you do very little. Like updating here. It's the way most shitty e/n sites go, the author thinks they're really funny and original for wasting space like this, and then after a while they just can't be bothered. I think I'm turning out like that. Vanessa is the only person I know who's managed to continue with her e/n-ness for years. She's got someone to help her now though so I guess it's starting to slip for her too.
Finally the West Indies are puting up a fight in a test match, and I was starting to worry that the one-dayer I'm going to in janurary would be a fizzer and be over in 3 hours. Onya Lara.
Speaking of Old Man Boris (in my extra witty little subject thing I usually put in) myself and Tim have discovered why we chose vodka over all the other applicants for our fav. beverage when we were 16...Boris Yeltsin signature brand!! Yesiree, you can now buy Vodka approved by the man himself for $21 from The Grape. And it comes in a really cool bottle with a nice label too! Finally we can be cheapos AND not have to put up with the brown vodka we once tried (yes, it was brown, it was not the bottle it was in. And it was slightly chewey as well). What a find, and it even includes an extra drink at no extra charge! All the other brands only give u approx 20 standard drinks, not so with our mate Boris, he's willing to provide the joy of 21 drinks in a pretty bottle for a cheaper price!! How the hell did this man ever lose control of the presidency? What a guy!
I Want a New Girlfriend is another amazing e/n site that managed to keep afloat for more than a few weeks. It's got some good info and advice too. Much better than the rest of those stupid relationship sites (u know, the ones that just go "believe in yourself, you're not a geek") and it has links galore to free pr0n!!
November 25, 2000-It's so early
Ok so it's not early now. But I've been going through a really strange sleeping cycle lately. I'll wake up one morning at 11:30, no problems there I have a lot of days left to miss half of until it's uni time again. But then the next day I'm up bright eyed and busy tailed at about 7! 7:00 just is not right. It should never happen to a lazy arse like myself. Ahhh well it's amazing how long a day really is when you witness all of it. Trouble is, I woke up at 7:00 after gogin to bed at about 2:30 still very enebriated. That was an interesting wake up call. Oh how I love $1 drinks. Even if they've gone up to $1.50 nowadays (but they're full nips now, so it's a nett gain)
How low can self-esteem be. Go here to see just how sad some people are. It's called "Am I Hot or Not?" and u send in a photo of yourself and other likeminded losers rate you on the good ol scale 1-10. And last time I checked in real life...I was getting slapped for rating chicks like that. Ahh the net removes all bounds of good ideas. WARNING there are a lot of veeeerrryyyyy scary pics on that site. Wear dark glasses until you find the pics of pr0n models that some geek in a science lab has sent in. Let it be known that I thouroughly endorse this kind of behaviour. Geeks are cool, you'll all see that soon and then you'll know that pocket protectors rock!
Some prick, probably my sister, has fucked with my ICQ. Now the incoming msgs are GREEN and all the rest of the colours are outta whack. And I know it's the puta cause I was only around people going the bong last night, I was a good little driving home boy I was.
Hey are youse following the cricket? Watching as the wonderful Australians demolish the Windies!! What a turnaround hey, 16 years ago they did exactly the same thing to us, and they shat all over every single other team in the world too. Kinda like Australia now. Well at least I'm old enough now to remember these past few series. But I do remember when noone could touch the Windies. I wish they were like that now, that'd make for an incredible test series if they had the 84 Windies and the 2000 Aussies playing against each other. As long as Australia dropped Bichel, he's shit.
November 21, 2000-Nooooooooooooooo! I'm Immune!
Oh tragic day. Being finished with uni and all that shit, I've got a lot of time on my hands these days, which frankly kicks arse. So having nothing else to do and being annoyed with Baldur's Gate II for the time being, I hop on the net to revisit my time in year 10. Yep I went porn searching. Away we go, 30,000 windows pop up proclaiming that Hot Teens Want to Suck and Fuck my Manly Rod. But when I visited these Hot Teens....NOTHING! What's going wrong? I used to LOVE porn! I used to visit porn more often than I'd breathe in and it was tops. You were cool if you could recite 50 porn sites from memory. But NO! It wasn't working today. What the fuck is my problem, naked chicks RULE. That is a fact I'm sure of....oh well maybe it's for the best. I'll stick with the Goat Pr0n myself.
God it's been a long time since I wrote anything here. Lucky noone ever visits my site or else they'd be very dissappointed.
I rode a Fox on monday!! Yep we hired Mopeds when we were down the coast (those scooter things) and went for a burn around surfer's. Awww yeah those things kick ass. For a while I was singin Fox at the top of my lungs but I don't think anyone understood me (it's a Millencolin song about a moped) so I stopped. But I continued calling it my fox until we had to give them back. Sammy had a crash too!! Bahhaha it was all his own fault, he tried to do a jump off a speedbump and it all went horribly wrong. Funniest thing I've seen all year! Cost him $280 in repairs too. Teheheheheeee!
November 1, 2000-Halfway there
Yeah, so it's been fucking ages since I wrote any of my patented bullshit. So sue me.
On a happier note, I'm halfway through my uni exams! One hard one and one for my joke of a subject and we're home and dry. AND finished a week before any of my friends!!
Hey check out my ITB310 assignment for an example of how stupid that subject is. I wrote it in pure html on the angelfire severs cause we wern't allowed to use any editors that would fuck up the page in a different browser (it was even meant to work in a text browser....what kind of lame ass caveman still uses a text browser?? Noone's -that- old school). So since it's here taking up space anyway, go see what I did the morning after I'd been out painting the town red.
Why is it that people who've moved out of home suddenly become so serious? Some of my favourite idiots have recently moved out of home and instantly they're acting like things are serious enough to matter. Case in point, my buddy Ferg used to mix it with the best of us. Nothing truly mattered enough that it couldn't be poked fun at. Now he's moved into his own lovely unit and it's all Mr. Grim Faces. I don't get it...it's meant to be this big liberation happy time moving away and then when people do, according to them the whole world sucks. Maybe it's cause he still works at a pizza joint :)
Go write some dribble at LegoMan's Message Board I personally write junk there all the time (So I overused the word Norgs in the first coupla days....but it was a novelty. I hadn't heard the word being spoken for many a year. I'm sorry). Oh, and if anyone knows who the Amcal Girl is, please please PLEASE let me know. Apparently she's a Fox.
Bahahaha, a new cafe opened up next door to the restaurant I work at and it's doing a roaring trade! Yep, it'll probably affect my job security but do u think I really want to work as a shitkicker for a bunch of Indians all my life? Hospitality bites.
Isn't it cool how when u sneeze you get all those rainbow spots on the computer screen. So pretty! I love having a cold
October 23, 2000-Car Sales
This morning I went car shopping with my mum, because I neeeeeed a car. My friends have stopped giving me rides everywhere so I need my own now. Anyways, we went to the "Dodgy Bob's" places cause I'm poor and I noticed they ALL talk exactly the same. I lost count of how many "true stories" I heard. I was as amazed as they were that "[insert shitbox here] hasn't sold yet!". And I made so many new friends that are "just running a family business here". They're all so full of integrity and I was heartened to know that "I won't lie to you when I tell you this". Just like I knew I was onto a good thing when I asked about warranties and "I'd be telling you a lie if I said they were worth it" because those cars are "great first car opportunities".
October 19, 2000-Sleeeeeeppp Timeeee!!
Awwwwwww yeeeaaahhh!!! Today marked my very last lecture for 4 entire months!! No more this year. Aahhhhhhhhh *streatches*
Pity, I still have exams but still...they're in a coupla weeks so I can forget about them for now.
Hey, does anyone ever actually visit this site? Sign my guestbook so that I don't feel stupid for spending oh so very long on a page that noone visits. And while you're at it, put in a comment saying that Melinda should start an advice column. I tried to get her to make one here but she wasn't overly interested. AND that was just after she'd been telling me how great her advice was. Some people just don't want worldwide fame.
2kg of chocolate is more than you'd think. I got given that huge quantity of tooth rottener for my birthday, almost a month ago now. I've been working through it constantly since then and I'm about 3/4 of the way through it. Mmmmm it's soooo good though. I had 3 rows of it a few days ago, I think I've stopped feeling sick now.
I'm such a rebel, I got into the uni bar today without being a member (membership costs a buck, but I think they stopped taking memberships on the 12th or soemthing) and then paid for my first drink since becoming 18. I'm now officially a grown up..and more importantly, I'm an official Australian AND official Queenslander (oh...great. UP THE BLUES! Can't betray my birthland) because it was beer. Full strength XXXX (cuz queenslander's can't spell "Beer"). Lectures are funny when you've had a few on a dead empty tummy in a pretty short period of time. I'll probably wake up tomorrow with a beer gut. Guess that's the price you pay for being Aussie.
Mummy! Wow! I'm a big boy now! (what ad was that little rhyme on? I've been trying to think of it)
October 18, 2000-Wednesday blues
Right, that's it. I've been sent one too many stuuuuuuuupid fwd:fwd:fwd:........... emails and it's been a while since I put a new "feature" on this page, so go check out my chain emails and share my pain. I'll be putting all the ones up there that I recieve from now on, unless they're dupes of ones I've got. So go there if you have too many friends and want to lose a few. It has all those dumb identical surveys, top 50 lists and it will have chain letters as soon as Bec finds another one to bless us with.
Okie, I'll be my normal cheerful self now. Sorry but those emails really do shit me.
October 16, 2000-21 days till I've finished uni
Why do Australian actors always put on the Craig McLaughlan accent in their early movies? Think about it...Livvie in Grease would have slotted straight into neighbours without a fuss. And I was watching 10 Things I Hate About You, which is a tops movie and very funny, but our Heath, he just sounded too Australian. Yeah I know, it's impossible to be too Aussie but this accent was just not on. We don't sound like that, do we? Oh well I thought it was amusing how he had such an Australian accent going, he sounded like he'd learnt english from watching crocodile dundee over and over again. Still, he put in a good performance and he's naturally Australian so he's cool. Yay Heath!
Don't you hate it how when you're doing something you don't want to do, time goes really really slowly. I was doing my fucked up Java assignment today and I stopped after what felt like ages and took a break (which I'm still on actually...lazy bitch) and looked at the clock...I'd been working for 20 minutes! And I felt pretty drained from it too! Ohh mannn I neeeeed this break coming up
October 14, 2000-It's the WEEKEND AGAIN!!
I got myself into soooo much trouble last night...well ok not much but I was definitely in the bad books. On with the storym it's quite short.
I was at my buddy Ferg's place (he just move out! What a grown up!) scoping the scene (I'd never been there) and a few of us were just sitting around havin a chit chat. Somehow, I forget how, but somehow Nita was talking about someone she knew who was in hospital or something like that. Stupidly, myself and Al asked how he came to be in hospital. And so, without warning us that this was a terrible thing to have happened, she informed us that an ATM had fallen on him. Yes, I DO realise that it's definitely high on my list of things to avoid in life but still, just being told that an ATM had fallen on someone had me in stitches...unil I noticed that Nita was storming out of the room. Then it dawned on me that myself and Al were in a LOT of trouble. Oh well, she came back after about 20 minutes and only hit me once so I think I'm safe now.
Anyway, as a peace offering, I'm sorry!
October 13, 2000-Ohhh black friday
All my friends went out last night without me. Fair enough I told them I couldn't go but still...I spent so long working on becoming 18 and now I can't use it. Don't go to uni, learn a trade.
I don't suppose anyone reading this just happens to have a copy of a java program that works as the front end to a database? No? Damn I'll have to do that assignment myself. Worth a try. Urrrghh
Hey look at this little video for a good example of something to never try.
October 12, 2000-Napster is so slow
Ahh napster, where would we be without you? Probably just in an IRC download room getting porn videos. So remember legal types, Napster is saving the moral fibre of society.
Speaking of which, I'm currently getting Prodigy-Smack my Bitch Up, possibly the winner of greatest film clip for any musical piece ever (for those not in the know...it's about 5 minutes of lesbians going hammer and tongs. Masterful!). I also like that Savage Garden I can't believe I'm saying this one for Affirmation. Please note I -HATE- the song, but the film clip is cool, on mute. It's kinda like all those Christina Aguelira and those types and their film clips. Actually it's not, those plastic bitches piss me off even when they're silenced.
Hey check out this site it's a million times better and funnier than my page and the author is better looking than myself BUT she's linked MY page off it!! TWICE! Oh the pure honor!
Seriously her page is like famous and stuff and it's much better than this one. So hop to it!
October 11, 2000-Nothing funny happens at uni
My dog just won't shut up. Still that can be good, he scared away a jahova's witness today.
This bloke was worse than most, he didn't seem to have a single train of thought. He started off by telling me how the bible has prophesised everything that has so far happened (wars etc) and I had no problem with that, since it's pretty true. Then he was telling me about the british empire for ages, I don't know why. And all of a sudden this wonderful empire he was rabbiting on about became a shitty little island that needed the americans to save them...on and on. I switched off for a while.
I was brought back to his drawl when he let me know his theory of young people. He was saying how he watches a lot of SBS (dirty old bastard, I know he just likes it for the asian porn) and he'd decided that old people are living longer but young people are dying younger (how the young people become the old people that live longer I didn't enquire) and this is because every few years they come up with some new wonder drug....here's me, an 18 year old who LOOKS like a young person, being told by this guy that all young people are on drugs. Well he certainly got the message across to someone who'se never even SEEN most drugs.
So all you young people, I hope you've shot up today because if you haven't you're obviously not a part of the Lord's family.
October 6, 2000-Advice n shit
I'll begin today with some advice...NEVER put off buying a coke when you're going for a long walk. For those in the know, I walk half an hour from my house to the train station to get to uni because my parents don't love me enough to get me a car. Anyways, I was walking home this arvo and it was mighty hot and I was ever so thirsty. So I walked past all these coffee shops but didn't go in because I told myself that cool, refreshing coke would be a good 20c cheaper when I got the the Shell servo (about 2/3 of the way home) so I held out. Well, to my disgust, I got to the Shell and noticed things were being run differently, the fridges had been rearranged and the pricetags changed...$2.11 for a coke!!
So I bought a litre of milk for a buck fiddy and drank that. Cuz one big glass keeps me going all night
In the city today there were these people handing out some new kind of yogurt. Being the cheap bastard uni types that we are, myself and John helped ourselves to a "Tropical Mango" yogurt each. Pretty tasty I'll have to say, made by nestle. We'd juuuuust finished when to our delight we saw ANOTHER couple of people, this time handing out "Strawberry Bliss" yogurts! So we ditched our empty mango tubs and headed for the freebies. John went first and scored a nice cool strawberry bliss...I however went for mine and...I...got...another...MANGOE...one!!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Not to worry though, John the super dude that he is let me have the strawberry bliss and it was fantastic. Damn it, now I owe him.
October 4, 2000-Back to the grind
Uni starts again today, so I'll probably be adding to this increasingly stupid site more and more as time goes on. It's so easy to find something to do when you should be doing anything else. I walked the dog every day for 2 weeks during my last exam period. That was great he actually wanted to come talk to me when I walked outside and he barked less..but little was I to know that the little bastard was getting fitter too. Now he won't stop running around and he's barking again. You just never feel like doing anything when you've got nothing to do.
Oh here's something, some canadian person who started ICQ'ing me wanted a piccy and since the scanner was so far just a small part of my personal dust exhibit I opened it's ancient lid and then scanned the only photo of me I could find from the last 2 years. So I decided to make the ME page which is basically where I try and be funny about my personal interests...not like this front page at all. Actually my deary friend Manda just came round so I'll put it up later, if I rememeber. It's up now, go have a gander.
October 3, 2000-Golly
Oh my, this is the second day in a row I've updated! You're all so privaledged you know! Maybe sometime soon I'll put something here that is actually worth updating so then I can post my updates and something will have changed (as opposed to just writing some junk to make the page longer). There's another few pictures on the goat pr0n page so give it a looksee! I garuntee it'll bring out the farmer's instincts in all of you. And just for the enjoyment of our New Zealand neighbours, go check out the sheep pr0n page!.
I always get these really great ideas whilst answering the call of nature, don't you? It must be something to do with childhood, where you were suddenly all grown up if you could see over the bowl and even more grown up if you could get your aim right. I guess the satisfaction of a job well done helps too, you came there with a purpose, that was achieved and you didn't leave a mess. It's a nice change to know you've done something as well as it can be done.
But it's like a happy dream, you emerge and it's all gone, the inspiration, the fantastic ideas, everything. Very sad.
October 2, 2000(later that night)-Positive changes
I've stopped saying "l33t" so much on this page now. I feel it is a step in the right direction. Oh and I removed the spinning cows too, if you want to see them, because it's ever so fun, then be my guest
Speaking of guests, why not
Sign My Guestbook
or even
View My Guestbook
October 2, 2000-Back in action :)
Well here I am, trying to make my page fun. Are you being hypnotised by my cows yet?
Anyhoo, over the next week or so I'll be trying to make my page lots of fun for everyone. As a start, I removed the links that angelfire put there when I first started this page. Enjoy!
September 21, 2000-No more page :(
Hmmm, so they wiped my page. Oh well no great loss. Maybe this won't suck in a little while...HEY! My page is back!! Everything went blank there for a while and it looked like I had somehow been given rights to other people's homepages...sadly this glitch just meant my own pages got wiped (I have really bad luck with these free page things...my geocities page suffered a likewise fate) AND I didn't get to screw with the other people. Lets give three big cheers to the people at Angelfire for providing such a secure network!! Yay Yay Yay!
I really should stop visiting my own page to make it look like people care. One day I might even stop writing in my own guestbook under assumed names
This is so much fun! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Send all your naked pictures to my email and anything else you feel appropriate too.
This Basic Editor is so lame...oh, I just admitted I use the basic editor. Lucky I switched to the advanced editor. I'm advanced now! The fact remains that the basic editor is lame however. I much prefer the geocities editor. In fact I have a page written on geocities too! and this is it!
