You could be
addicted if...
1. You think sleep
is for the weak.
2. You've just had
your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock,
just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend"
3. You believe
that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
You have a website
about caffeine
4. You're on a
first name basis with Juan Valdez
5. Your heart
beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.
6. Your heart rate
is always in triple digits.
7. You know from
experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.
8. You have a
mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.
9. You drink decaf
by accident and slip into a coma.
10. You ask,
"Sleep? What's that?"
11. You go to the
doctor because you're afraid there might be blood in your Coffee stream.
12. Every coffee
company wants to have your picture on their packs of coffee powder.
13. Your heart
only beats twice an hour and your eyes won't shut anymore.
14. Your wife
asked you to buy milk; bread and butter and you heard "buy coffee, coffee
and coffee
15. Your slogan is
"Save water, drink coffee."
16. Your child's
name is Nescafe.
17. Starbucks has
decided to use you as their official mascot.
18. You've ever
carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.
19. You regard the
fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
20. You have
tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and
"COLA"
21. Your birthday
is a national holiday in Colombia.
22. You go to
sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
23. Your coffee
pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
24. You've ever
used the airplane's Call button just to get a coffee refill.
25. You've ever
knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.
26. You can't
remember the last time you blinked.
27. You have on
more than one occasion snorted instant coffee.
28. You have dark
brown coloured hair but you are a natural blonde and have never dyed it.
29. The dishes in
your house are all coffee cups.
30. Your dog's
name is Folgers.
31. You see
nothing wrong with using water Joe (the caffeinated water) to make the coffee
you use to take your no-doze.
32. You believe
that sleep is simply a poor substitute for sleep
33. It's 6:09 AM
and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
34. You have to
drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
35. You'd rather
be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of
coffee in the morning. (Caffeine
withdrawal is a real headache.)
36. You've given
up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days
without caffeine.
37. You've given
up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can't make it 40
days without caffeine.
38. You could live
in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough
coffee beans with you.
39. You suck on a
used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of
coffee.
40. You dip
espresso beans.