I went to Hawaii on 12.27.99 until 1.3.00. During that time we went to 3 NSYNC concerts, and had many funny experiences. Some NSYNC related, some not. Most were NSYNC related though. I'm going to dispense the review in the form of the alphabet. Here is the first installment. Enjoy your review. All Pictures will be on a separate page.

I would like to give special thanks to: Val, Jen, Kat, Amy, Courtnie, Ashley, Shannon, Steve Fatone, The Boys of NSYNC, Trace (scraggles), Scary Guy, Johnny Wright, Tyler Chasez, Ruben Ruiz, Troy, Erik (ASSWIPE), FUBU Drew, Lonnie, Fritz, Emmett, George, Janine Fatone, Topanga, Phyllis and Joe Fatone, The waiting staff at the Tropics cafe, Mommy Crunkness, Innosense, Gramma Funnel Cake, That crunk security guard, The ABC Store, and Fred and Larry.

Without all the aforementioned people, this story would probably be really boring and suck. Thank You.

A is for Alcohol Lance likes alcohol...so do we. We drank at Tropics EVERY night. ALL night. The bar closed at 11:30 so we brought our own alcohol that we bought from the ABC store. Steve thinks we drink too much alcohol. Do we care? NO. They did not serve alcohol at the concerts. That sucked!

B is for Bodyguards Here's something kinda funny. On our way to a club the first night there we ran into a bodyguard. He was signing autographs. I walk up to him and said, "Who are you? I don't know you!". He looks up and says "Yes you do". I said a few city names and he says "no Vegas". I still didn't remember who he was but I pretended I did. Then I held out my camera and asked if he would take a picture OF us, not WITH us. He put down his 9 bags of Jack in the Box and took our picture. As we walked away we told him to tell Joey hi and he said he would, and when I told him my name and Joey would know me the teenies looked like they were gonna come over to us and start biting our ankles. It was kinda funny.

Wanna know another bodyguard kinda funny story? On the 28th Val and I were walking back to the hotel from ABC's talking about tattoos and we noticed that Justin and Fritz (a bodyguard)were walking behind us. We proceed to "Back our asses up" while singing the song at the top of our lungs.

Wanna know another? This happened on New Years Eve, Lonnie was walking by us and we sang, " Lonnie look good won't you back that ass up, you're a big fine bodyguard wanna back that ass up" and he did. We have it on tape. It was funny.

Fritz gave us five cents to sing. We didn't know all of his songs, but we sang a whole bunch. Some of these songs are: "Stairway to Heaven"," Margarittaville", "How do I live?", "Celebration" (Joeys *N SYNC style way), and "Back dat azz up" but we didn't know the words so we sang it like this, reeear reeear reaar reeeear reaar over and over until it came to the chorus. He asked for his nickel back. We didn't give it to him

Dre AKA Fubu Drew came down. He was on his cell phone. We don't know with who but they were listening to us. Steve hugged him so we sang them a love song. "How do I live" the person on the phone listened too. Dre smiled into our camera. It is CrUnK.

C is for Camera We document everything. We taped a concert. Dre let us cause we're CrUnK. It's sideways. It was an accident DAMNIT. Steve said, "by the way, that's a REALLY nice camera", he would know... he's the expert. We call it boob cam. I suck at taping. I CrUnKeD up Justin footage. We have 7 hours of footage, 6 hours of it could be used later on in life to blackmail us, 3 of it can be used to blackmail Steve Fatone, 1 hour of it can be used to blackmail the boys of *N SYNC, 30 seconds of it could destroy Joey FATone, and JC Chasez would kill Tyler (his little brother) for 15 seconds of it. Good times Good times.

D is for DAWTBAWD This trip gave us our new FAVORITE phrase DAWTBAWD. Thanks to Joe Fatone Sr. Heres the conversation. Everyone else was afraid to talk to him (No not cause he's old and dirty, cause he's Joeys' dad) we talked to him cause we think he is one hot piece of meat. By the way, his nickname is BOFF. If anyone knows what BOFF means let us know. It was on his shirt with the number 21.

Me: Can we get a picture with you? Its sentimental..
BOFF: Sure, as long as you don't make it into a DAWTBAWD (think dartboard in a thick Brooklyn accent)
Me: Oh man! That's exactly what I was gonna do!!
Val: She wouldn't do that!! She LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES you!!!
Me: No I don't... I love Steve... No wait! Steve loves ME!
Janine Fatone: No, Steve loves ME
Me: (In a voice of disgust) I was only kidding
BOFF: STEVE?!?! Joey's more popula' than Steve..

-- At this point I sat in shock for like 2 seconds because I could NOT believe Steve's own father had just said that to me --

Me: Not to us, we're Steve's fanclub.

Val goes to take our picture, and BOFF said "Say Backstreet Boys!." Val yelled EWWWW. I looked at him, didn't know if I should say it, laugh, or just be in shock. I said "Cheese" and got up to take Val's picture.

I told them to say STEEEEEVE. Val said it loud with a big smile and BOFF basically mumbled it with disgust. Then Janine jumps up again and says, "Steve? You like Steve? Steve loooves me!" BOFF says, "Thats' cause you know him personally". Val says "So do we" and we walked away.

E is for ENFRO ENFRO is a new boyband starring Steve Fatone, Ruben Ruiz, Scraggly Poof (Trace, Justin's best friend), Tyler Chasez, and Antonio G. (Antonio G. is scary guy, All Access, hugs JC you know the deal) They are having legal problems right now, but look for a link to their official site within a week.

F is for Fans Sometimes fans suck. We call them VIPs (Very ignorant pre teens, some of them weren't pre but whatever) They sat outside the boys lobby waiting to attack. As soon as one of the guys would walk out, they would shove their cameras in their faces, shove paper and pen in their hands and not let them walk two steps. They followed them to the beach and huddled around them, Lance couldn't eat a meal without being surrounded, Joey couldn't come over and talk to us at breakfast without 20 girls waiting to jump him the second he stopped talking. It was really sad, we felt bad for them and we don't think fans should act like this. It was their vacation and they couldn't even enjoy it. Wouldn't you HATE that?

ABC's of Hawaii G-L

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