What if I said..

We've been friends
for a long long time
You tell me your secrets
and I'll tell you mine....

She was the one I had dreamt of my entire life. She was the perfect one. She was simply, the one. I had always seen it, known it. I knew it from the first moment we met. She was my best friend's girlfriend. As bad as it sounds, that's what made her even more perfect. She was a challenge. I tried for awhile trying to get her, but she was staying loyal to him. Faithful to him. She was his. He was hers. I never thought about the fact that anyone could get hurt till I heard her tell me how scared she was of losing my best friend. She was completely in love with him. In her eyes, there was no one better. I didn't stand a chance...

She's left you all alone
and you feel like no one cares
But i have never failed you
I've always been there....

I knew right then, all I could be for her for now was a friend. It was better than nothing. Besides, if something fell through, I'd be there. Just in case...

He was always gone. I knew what my best friend was doing to her, leaving her like that. I couldn't tell her, I'd just comfort her on those night where all she did was cry. Sometimes my best friend treated her so right and I knew it was right. But then there were times when he cheated on her. I wanted to tell her I loved her so much so bad,but it was something she had to figure out on her own. Besides, if she left him and ran to me, wouldn't it end soon from the mere fact of it being a rebound?

You tell your story
It sounds a bit like mine
It's the same old situation
It happens everytime

I tried really hard to not let my love for her get in the way. I started seeing other girls. It took up my time. That way I wasn't always thinking of her..

The days went by faster and I, myself, had fallen for someone. She was almost exactly like her. Like the woman of my dreams. But she wasn't her. She was just a substitute. She hurt me often as well. Another thing for us to share. Our loved heartaches....

Can't we see
Oh maybe you and me
Is what's meant to be
Or do we disagree?

I remember how we used to joke around that we'd end up together. I knew she was never serious. I always wished how I could tell her that it was what I really wanted...how could I tell her? It was obvious how much love she had for my best friend..I couldn't step on that love. I'd be no better than my cheating best friend.

What if I told you
What if I said
That I love you
What would you think
How would you feel
What would we do?
Do we dare to cross that line
Between your heart and mine
Would I lose a friend
Or find a love that could never end
What if I said?

I always wondered, what if? What if I told her just how much she meant to me. What if I just grabbed her and kissed her? We had some how become best friends in the process. We came to each other for everything. Her boyfriend and my girlfriend never worried, why I wonder. We are just too trust worthy for our own good perhaps.

I remember when she wanted to make brownies for him. Ofcourse I offered to help. He still got the brownies, it just took longer to make. I instigated a fight and brownie mix was everywhere. She looked so beautiful standing there grinning. Even if she did have flour allover her face and chocolate on her nose. I wanted so much to take her into my arms and have her right there in the kitchen.

She doesn't love you
Oh it's plain to see
I can read between the lines
Of what you're telling me
And he doesn't hold you
the way a woman should be held
How long can I go on
Keep feelings
feelings to myself

I started to resent my best friend. I started to think of him as an old best friend. Why couldn't he see that a wonderful woman was right there before his very eyes?

I finally told her that I didn't think she should be with him. She just laughed and said it was funny. She thought I didn't belong with my girlfriend. She told me that she could see I wasn't happy by what I told her about my relationship. I told her I thought the same for her, but she shook her head, "No, I'm completely happy. I'm in love Nick."

What if I told you
What if I said
That I love you
What would you think
How would you feel
What would we do
Do we dare to cross those lines
Between your heart and mine
Do I lose a friend
Or find a love that would never end
What if I said?

Why couldn't I just tell her? Why couldn't I open up about my love for her? So many talks about love and the perfect one, and yet' I still couldn't tell her. Sometimes I felt as if she wanted me to say something, but then she would bring up my best friend and confirm my second thoughts, my reasoning for not saying a word.

Oh, we've both had our share of loneliness
So who's to say we can't have a little happiness
And if I found that in you
It would make my dreams come true
Or would you walk away
Hear what I have to say

"He doesn't love you Carly! I know this!" I yelled at her.

"Yes he does. He tells me everyday and everynight how much he loves me. Over and over!" She screamed at me.

"Listen I'm his best friend. I think I know. He doesn't love you. He doesn't deserve you! Find someone who can make you happy"

What I really wanted to say was find me.

"No Nick, when we make love; I know he loves me. You can't fake love during that act! He may have done some shitty things to me, but atleast he loves me. Unlike your whore of a girlfriend. You know she sleeps around. All she does is use you for your money. And you know this and you don't care. All you want is someone there. YOU are the one who needs to find someone who can make you happy."

"You're not happy Carly. I know you're not."

"And how do you know Carter? You've never felt love, you don't know what love is."

I swallowed, now or never.

"Yes I do Carly, I know what love is. I feel it right now."

Carly laughed, "Yea right Carter, I'm out"

Before I could say another word, she was gone.

What if I told you
What if I said
That I love you
What would you think
How would you feel
What would we do
Do we dare to cross that line
Between your heart and mine

So now here I am, standing in the cold of November. It was her favorite month. I'll never understand why. She would always say, "It gives you one last chance before December, the end of the year to make this year worth it." I should have listened to those words. We could have been together. We could have been forever. But, no, I was too slow. Too scared. She ran out that day. that cold raining day. I don't know if she looked back, I'll never know if she would have said yes. I don't know if she would have said no. I'll never know anything.

She left that day and I haven't seen her the same since. I'll never see that smile. Never.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I was holding a single white rose. Her favorite. The tears flowed steadly but I didn't care. They were tears meant for her, only her. It was only us really there anyways. No one else mattered.

Slowly, softly, almost whispery I sang and I lowered my rose held hand. I placed it down the grave, singing only for her,

I've always wondered
from the day that we met
What if I said
(Oooo Oooo)
What if I said.....

**What If I Said by Steve Warner and Anita Cochran