Old Poems

I lead a life of turmoil
  Nothing fits...
yet i see beyond all
  nothing fits, nothing fits
no one loves me
 no one could
she doesn't know
 how could anyone
   nothing fits
who is she
 who knows
   nothing fits
darkness surrounds me
  nothing fits,
yet i see only light,
  nothing fits, nothing fits
I shall die alone
 i want to 
i have few friends 
 they have me more
   nothing fits

Each day changes like a wind from the east
the light leaves and reappears
upon darkness i strive
upon light i rest
the eyes fallow me, 
  and all.
They wait for one to slip and fall.
The elements now are all the same.
the darkness now as 
true as light
i wait.
         for what?

He lives only for himself
the wind swept shore of his distant
 land, he lived with life,
and death was always near.
The veil surrounded him, it was him, 
 and as he stepped through the 
reaches of time, the only thing 
that changed was his form.
       He walked with rhythm, he was
the great rhythm maker, every step, 
movement, every hair on his head 
moved with a rhythm, all different,
and yet somehow all the same.
Each day a second each century 
an hour.  He will never die, 
he will only change, if this universe be 
destroyed the he will move to a new
universe.  He is eternal, and most importantly 
   he is simple
he is the song maker, the creator
he lives without living, he sings without singing, 
each breath he takes 
wipes out a nation and raises a man.
soon though all will be right 
again and he will no longer
need to hide, Eru Lluvitar is alive, 
but not exactly well.

I looked across the water
i saw only the storm
the waves beat upon the shore
as if to pull me into an infinite
   void of darkness
upon the horizon the storm grew
the clouds turned black, they were
rent asunder by the force
of the angry gods, come to
destroy me.  I shall carry on
each step weighted by the life; 
by the life i have lead
each second seems an eternity 
but i still wait
I shall not end I shall live forever and take whatever my enemies throw in my way 
     then return it 100 fold
i worry not about life
when you are immortal 
there is no life to be lost
only life to gain and gain from
so here i stand 
erect on the shores
only my robe moving,
being whipped by the winds of Manwee
for thousands of years it has been thus.
very few happen to know the secrets of earth
i happen to be one of those few.

Entreat me with your woes and sorrows
   for i am wiser and have lived longer than you
tell me of your pains and sufferings
   for i can relive them
bring me your poor your weak your huddled masses 
   for i can bring shelter to them
give me your money and your life
   for i only care about the future and how well we will survive

Upon the unbreeched shores of a distant land
  the sun shown through the trees
  the wind blew light and cool moving lazy clouds above over head
  the water lapped up against the shore as if the two should be one
  the sand was golden and undisturbed
  the animals ran unhindered and were one with nature 
  they spoke to each other in the way they know how
  the air was fresh, and thick with the scent of jasmine
then the humans came
  now, the sun shines through a cloud of smoke
  the water runs thick with oil
  the sand is a dull gray
  the air is thick with the smell of sulpher
  the animals are no longer free
  and can no longer speak in the only way the know
the humans will learn and they will pay
their arrogance will not go long unhindered
soon, all will be restored and upon the 
unbreeched shores of a distant land,
  the animals will run unhindered, speaking the only way they know how

They ask
why live
why eat
why drink
why run in the meadows
why swim in the lakes
why dance by the fire
why move at all
then they answer
because we can

In his shining eyes the world is a place of mystery, not fear
each stone each creature a new life to learn and explore
he knows not of war and death only of peace and living
he knows things that others could never understand
    for in his eyes all things are majik
he does not know equations or formulas only names and places
to him 30 cents is enough to live on, and $300
    is too much to handle
behind his shining eyes lies a mind that will believe anything 
it is told, and respects any one that tells it so
in his shining mind, things are as there are and will stay
    as they are
did you ever think perhaps that a child could be wiser than you??

The mist have surrounded me, i cannot see
    each step leads to a darker eternity
i find no sorrow in this life i lead
but somehow, the sorrow will destroy me
my life has bee long and fair,
    but i come to the end
the light of the sun grows ever dimmer,
i lived and learned, more than a man
we all are destined to die
    today just could be that day.....

I lived through each day
Conquering my troubles and gaining allies at once.
I fell and rose every hour
  conquering my enemies
They fell before me as drunken flies fall to death
but now, each day i wade along,
  no more have i enemies
  no more do i conquer by the hour
i can hope for a challenge 
  but i know i won't see it
C'est la vie
    C'est la guere
i guess...

The darkness closes in
the mists encapsulate me
I sit upon my mighty throne
awaiting one to challenge 
my mind, a fleeting train of thoughts
Each with purpose, yet none worth their time
Each a putrid reminder of what could have been,
To learn is to grow
 but learned, i have not
I cannot see ahead for my vision
  is blocked by the putrid fog
of what was, and what is

As i watch humans run in their little lives
trying to make sense of it all
      I laugh, 
tiny people with smaller spirits
who think they know
Their puny lives are wasted on popularity and society
Each one tries to fit, none simply are...
They tell each other what they should be
striving for money looking for fame, 
refusing substance that the lives
they lead be rewarded with material 
  rather than substance
Believing what they are told because they
need something to believe
fare thee well Valor for they
have forsaken you...

The ocean of thought dries
The wasted lives have drunk of it
The heat & pressure evaporate it
They come from afar to bathe and wash in it
The deep blue has been replaced by a foul green
The rains that once drenched 
    its shores come more infrequent
the spirits that replenished it
    have all gone
The life that strived from it
    is dead
And the flowers of life on the shore wither
But hope is here, for a new life
has caused a creek, and slowly
the purity trickles in...

Beyond Hope
Beyond Despair
Beyond Empathy
Beyond Care
A living oxymoron in
A society simply moronic
I Need a Fucking Change

The sun wearing its mask of clouds
Gropes the earth with a single ray
He feels the earth, with his eternal love, enlightening all,
As each hour passes, 
He hides less
Allows his whole body be seen
By all who endure his everlasting brilliance
The Earth, Brown for lack of love and light
	Then grows
The green blinds the eyes
The birds take wing
The flowers bloom
The bees taste once again the sweet nectar the flowers have wrought
Death is now undone
The warmth is now replenished
and i, stand alone to breath in the warmth of my brother sun

	once Again

Ere the suns lazy eyes first ore'peer the earth
The sky still dark, and the moon gone to its diurnal slumber
A sweet breeze blows past
And i am, for once, at peace
To forget the trials and tribulations
To forget the love and war
To breathe the air with the earth in
all its majesty
	I AM FREE
I watch the water ripple
I watch the trees shake in gently majesty
I watch the birds awaken and take flight
As the stars roll lazy, ready for the mornings repose
	I AM FREE
Even as the sun bathes the
Earth with its light and love
As the earth awakens, and the day begins
	I AM FREE

Trapped in a cage with no bars
in a room with no walls
in a prison with no guards
behind a door with a key
on an island of land
across the bridged waters
within a city without gates
By a society that hates me

Peer into my eyes,
  you will see the vast expanse 
  of an ocean, torn by wind
the deluge pours upon it
with the strength of Thor's hammer
each drop pounds the surface 
each drop stings my soul
this is life
 this is love 
  this destroys me...

In her eyes i see her love,
and i return that love
my soul pours forth into hers
   as a river into the ocean
each waking moment thoughts of her spin 'round my head
the carousel never stops
how do i let her know??
scream into the night 
     "I love you"
nay, 'tis to rash to sudden to unadvised
so with a tear i put down the pen,
  undecided,
      unknown,
         unloved...

The skies dance with fire
their corporeal solitude is known to all
the glee fills their spirits
  and their dance joys the hearts of the most cynical cynics
A jumble of shape and colors overcomes
in malicious harmony they fade and reappear
the whites burn the eyes
and the reds flow like a river of blood
they plead with all to follow in their reverie
as they drink of vessels of joy
unknowing of the sorrows of life
drunk on joy, full with laughter
they gallivant above the clouds
with unobtrusive visibility
seen by all
understood by none
they die with a smile
but know not happy 
for happy is naught,
devoid of sorrow

Destitute
 pitying his self-wrought solitude
  awaiting his chance to snuff it
    to end the sorrow
    to end the pain
    after all, its just a game
unloved he waits
 through his eyes, the tear permeates
 the darkness surrounds him
  awaiting his chance to snuff it
    to end the sorrow,
    to end the pain
    and after all, its just a stupid game
alone he sits
 the time ticks by
he ends his life
 with one triumphant cry
  he found his chance to snuff it
    ended the sorrow
    ended the pain
    got out of that fucking game

Moonstruck he stares at
the vile putrid pile of men
He slew on his horse

Ensconced in linen
With a view of Wasted lives
While the ivy took hers

Toyotas Revving
The brickwork before their eyes
Heaven is cloudy

For his love he died
Giving her his lifewater
He; by sprites; revived

The elephant looks
as the black storm rages on
Sheltered by his love

The Darkness of night
He awaits his sentence
Death by his own hand

Watering lakes about a death of willing symphonies
Though true breast size manipulates rusty tongues
Lie drunk as cool power skins a man
And the shining life of those in need cries
Smear a sordid woman with sweet winter juice
With mother smell raw men ripping at rose & knife
I eat their egg

Green eyes staring 
earthly pallor
the goddess awakens
loved only by me
i loved only by she..

Darkened doorsteps
fetid nights, 
lost hope
gone to fight
dying in battle
disparaging guns,
feigning peace
red blood runs
rivers of dead
reeking of rot
reaping the rewards
that war sought

In her arms, breathing heavy
Her sweet breath, I taste her lips
My heart pounds, only with hers
Goddess above, I am man below

Foolish wretch, I bow to her
Without her, Gone is my life
Relaxing, I need some sleep
I hold her tight, my head on her breast

My goddess, amongst the clouds
Above me, Quelling my needs
She needs me, I am her love
Cries on my arm, I'm holding her up

We kiss long, eternal bliss
Holding tight, against all odds
Old days gone, the new to come
Forever we, together belong

Twilight Falling
Darkness Descends
Fire in my eyes
Blood Ruddy Skies

Feasting on Death
Shapeless Drifting
Undead Living
On Bods Thriving

Milking Peasants
Destroying Kings
Wan'dring nightly
Seeming Sightly

Hiding Shadows
Revealing Truth
To Myself true
Now I want you

What am i doing?
 Why do i just sit & wait?
Another minute ticks by
 i sit; silent; doing nothing
i should be learning: 
  'bout dead white guys
  'bout dead black guys
  'bout dead yellow guys
  'bout dead red guys
  'bout dead purple guys
  'bout the millions my existence alone has killed
but i dont
 i sit here waiting
another minute ticks by
 it laughs and prods at me
tells me, "its not time yet"
 Fuck you
  gladly
time marches on
 still i wait
rage fills me
 music swells me
passion suffocates me
 just three more minutes
might as well be
 hours
  days
   weeks 
    months 
     years
      decades
       centuries  
        millennia
its hopeless
 i dont even know why i wait
time laughs again
 fuck you time
  gladly
hurry on your merry way 
 then it goes slower
just one, 
 it wont end
i just sit here
waiting
 no more waiting
time is done
nothing.

So Many Books
So Little Time

So Many Books
Not Enough Time

Too Many Books
Not Quite Enough Time

Still Too Many Books
Too Little Time

Time goes
Books Come

      Guess I'll Start Now

Laugh at me
  Go ahead, i know i'm stupid
Hate, rape, kill me
  Go ahead
What's the point of even trying?
 I cant stop it
Give me your worst
 I deserve it
I will just sit here
 Let you rape my cattle
And stampede my wive(s?)
  Go ahead
No use in doing anything anymore
Just end it now
 And have your childish fun

Surreal Wine Stain
Ripped Satin Shirt
Bra on the floor
Buttons off my shirt
Never mind, think I'll go write

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers
Rubber Baby Bugger Bumpers
Rubber Bob Bugger Bumper
Rubber Bob Bugger; Better Not!

Better not
Why not?
'Cause
Better not
Why not?
'Cause
Better not
Why not?
'Cause
Better not
Why not?
'Cause
Better not
Why not?
Okay
Good

There it sits
  Black, red blinking
  Not ringing
  Mocking
  Silent; 
  deadly; 
  dead
Damn little red light
Damn phone 
  Ring already
It hates, sits still
  still mocking
  Do something
  Walk, Talk, Breathe
  Stop that damned red light
Before there is no damned light left

The man lay thinking:
 So this is peace
  so this is silence
   so this is happiness
    so this is freedom
     so this is life
He laughed:
no, so this is death

I forgot
How many Syllables were
In a Haiku Poem

I think I
Figured it out just now and
I dont like Haikus

sit by summer beneath a hair garden
languidly drive a water tv
stare most lazy void
trudge for a moment my true love 

the music were still pink
head one lake next life
about worshiping puppy
with spring rain
their tongues soar
going like time
like honey gone
juice size smear eat manipulate
lick symphony lights
chant as hot chocolate mists peach
to those i incubate
do you say run away?

Darken my eyes with firelight
let it course through my veins
i feel the heat
little sparks in my blood
Frenzy of Flames
engulf me, consume me
fill me with your splendor life

dissipating with the heat of 1000 flames
the summer sun at my back
i know where i am going, 
just dont know where i'm at
flying down a highway 
floating on the breeze 
driving into nothing
as i watch the blurry trees
clouds gathering behind me
sun slipping away ahead
day-light turns to night-time
i'll keep going till i'm dead

This night be young
the sky be clear and dark
ore' head a host of stars twinkle
as i float upon this infinite sea of love
the water black as the sky
takes me whither it will
and follow it I must
for my love beside me follow it too
lying in silence
natures symphony playing sweet melody
her voice sweeter still
soul elated in perfect bliss
and the water caressing me softly
as my love, holding me against the rush of days
and the terror of the darkest night
disperse hate
sweet sleep singing softly
and my life finally making sense

Impenetrable fog jars my thoughts into places they have never been
Memories flooding in upon me
    I am drowning in their wake;
       The misery of lost loved ones
       The jubilance of happy times
       The hear-aches of lost childhood
       The depression of the sadness
       The longing of the love so far away from me				 
Clock ticking solemnly
Silent glow of the lonely cross
    Turning lazy circles upon an empty church
In the biggest room, with all other doors closed
    People closed off from me
Just needing to be in her arms
Tears lost in rain
    To people who think they know me

He sits in darkness, peaceful, alone
	Out the fire the wind had blown
Nearing the end of his solemn plight
	His life was lead without light
Dear rides in the nine Nar-Nazgul
	To enslave the childish fool
Whimpering, he draws fast his last breath
	Like a boy, he still fears death
By his own hand sent to an early grave
	A man God's hand could not save
His festering soul burned hot in hell
	Into Satan's grasp he fell

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