Words Tumble Freely
Lifeless
A spark
of light inside the void
Simply
existing, no concept of time
Disinction
of form softly blurred
Talons of
indecision adhere to the vine
We speak
of the dead in weary tones
Visions
of logic tiptoe around the edge
But where
do the lines finally converge
From the
moment of birth we are bled...
Choke
It’s
10:16pm on the eve of November the 4th
I’m here with a man whose name I’ve forsaken
There is light in the darkness of these walls
But I fear no mercy will be taken
My mind drifts wayward through the passage of time
To a place, to a dream, of a man I’ll call peace
To one week ago today when I made love to a stone
That stood out like a flower in a forest of trees
I
fear I have retreated far more than ever intended
I think I have disregarded my purpose on earth
And now when my world is separating in fragments
My ignorant conscience strives to give birth
He’s gone in body but my heart swells to extremes
The moon has fallen to pieces underneath my star
With sinking spirit I give into the disheartening idea
That this latest sinful endeavor went way too far
In blistered waves the sun radiates with indecision
Derived from a mind that honesty painted too late
Of where I’ve succumbed to this intended instant
From the moment I entered a man’s world of hate
And high upon the mountain I cradle my conscience
And wonder if maybe I should’ve made that call
To express an overflow of emotion I tried to hide
But came to choke on after all...
Second Best
When winning is the sole purpose
And you are always second best
The best of friends with benefits
A term you’ve come to fully detest
Good enough to sleep with
But not well enough to breed
The more you drink of this abomination
The more your insides stretch and bleed
Because where you are in love with an idea
His thoughts drift and wander astray
To a ghost from a holy forsaken past
To whom at night he prays
You are nothing but another harlot
She is his one and only shrine
You’re a furious rose in October bloom
But there’s decay infused in the vine
You lie to cover your dirty tracks
In hopes that soon he’ll come to see
The strength it takes to simply survive
Inside of something that could never be
He takes for granted your feelings
And pretends that you don’t care
You’re a carefully crafted human canvas
That he has begun to strip bare
Any glimmer of hope has drifted
You are solely his to use and abuse
A warm body to caress and idolize
A broken soul to break and bruise
You try and take pity on his narcisism
But you mold it into something sick
You want to reach out and hold him
But you settle for sucking his dick
He’s self absorbed and so very shallow
But you cradle his needs in your arms
You would sacrifice to be his shadow
Feeding on his nonexistent charm
Disregarding even the slightest glimmer
Of a forsaken shrine from your past
Basing your life on the sordid illusion
That this love affair will truly last
That one morning the sun will rise up
To shed light on a man who has finally made up his mind
Set his sights on something reasonable and true
And chosen to leave the past behind
But you are acutely aware of this beautiful image
That exists only in the center of your dreams
As much as you hate to trust your instincts
Everything truly is simply as it seems
Make Believe Romance
I
write to document the beginning of an era
A
chapter in life that has yet to be complete
If
ever written the truth is disguised
And
the air is rancid, smells of deceit
But
if he is real then as real as God may be
I
will set out on a journey intended to grieve
He
will lift me beyond gravitational force
The
rules of attraction make us believe
I
have sinned once but never again
Maybe
twice the same as one we know
I’ll
whisper nothing under a swollen tongue
Into
ears so violet the anger will grow
When
he enters dark chambers I left to explore
Will
the pleasure burn more than the pain?
I’m
halfway diseased but riding the cure
72
hours into something we can never explain
Mixed
signals rising as the smoke all but clears
As
He and I make love to the idea of sin
We
entertain our senses but refuse to divulge
The
law surrounds the notion of what might have been
We
play ring around the possibilities again and again
I
wait for the day that he wishes for dead
The
day he denies the love that I have been building
And
sends me crawling back inside my head
The
answers are evident to all but None
We
both know inside exactly how this will end
Because
of promises neither of us could ever keep
A
set of rules intended for us to bend
But
will he feel the chill when I begin to burn
With
69 ashes I fall gracefully into my grave
The
only haven remaining where innocence is safe
Blackened
blood of a harlot, purity enslaved
As
the flame ignites, another chapter will close
And
I will write an ending for none to view
An
ending fit for a whore on a winter’s eve
That
rewrote a story that was never true
Astray
Sometimes
the darkness sheds a blinding light
On
the face of reality blanketed in summer snow
The
event of this lifetime in the rise of the tide
That
brought to the shore the lowest of lows
How
one can never come to fully recover
From
a changing of seasons in the middle of May
The
way the stars seem to fluster and fade
With
the eclipse of the howling moon mid-day
I
have learned from every one of my encounters
Still
I venture towards the most reckless plane
Like
a wounded vulture amid a valley of wolves
I’d
die a little just to experience the pain
And
for every flight into the kingdom of heaven
One
must come to accept the reality of hell
The
extent of the damage derived from a gift
That
rose from the clouds every time that I fell
And
I’m not ashamed of the range of emotion
From
hopeless to hopeful and back again
The
very thing that allows one to flourish
Causes
the saints to give in to sin
My
one and only saviour when the devils roam
The
demon stares me down with a lazy eye
And
I for one am not going to let him tear me down
I’ll
circle the trees as I fall from the sky
And
inside of a song that was written tomorrow
I’ll
discover the meaning of the winter rain
The
dying embers of a forsaken dream
That walked astray inside my brain
No
Comfort of Being
it's half
past midnight on january 1, 2004
the
beginning of a new year has come and gone
the scent
of celebration still permeates the air
as
twilight trascends to an early dawn
laughter
can be heard through every cooridoor
as the
world spins to the miracle of life
but
inside of this shell there is no celebration
the
awareness of pain through the tunnel of strife
the
outline of such existence discernible to very few
as it
fades in the lining of dirtied linen sheets
and a
soul loses meaning when devoid of all hope
as it
exposes itself to the object of defeat
the
breaking point has long been surpassed
a new
start isn't granted by the passing of a year
the
sacrifices made will never amount to much
the only
comfort attained absolved by a tear
Awareness
fails to enlighten the coldest
seperated
by circumstance forevermore
the waves
of anguish build another prison
as
realization burns the spirit to it's very core
For a
moment in time the surroundings are quiet
and we
forget what it means to be on the outside
But just
for a moment really, a taste of normalcy
that
almost takes away the need to hide
Now we
embark on a journey of painful remembrance
of a time
in a place when everything was right
The sweet
taste of liquor adheres to deprived lips
as the
mind travels to a world when dark was bright
the
lightness of air when the timing is perfect
the weight
of prosperity dancing in synch
the
knowledge of truth underneath another wave
inside of
the weary eye that forgot how to blink
when it
all comes together on a cold winter's eve
nothing
makes sense in the comfort of being
blood red
is the warmth that keeps us all going
but what is a heart that never stops bleeding
Yet
overtures of winter moon shade the morning sun
She
wanders aimlessly admist a life consumed with irregularities
And
wonders aloud just what you think it is she has won
Never
more aware of the boundaries that seperate this existence
From the
smothering of the senses to the concept of alone
And there
are few remaining that could ever comprehend the need
To exist
in a world that is perceived in vastly different tones
But
floating between salvation and the direness of contempt
encased
within the debris of a most deprecating past
The
smallest shred of dignity fails to appease the spirit
with the
knowledge that acceptance always thrives last
So on
this sullen winter's eve she makes a hefty decision
and a
long standing burden fails to carry such weight
A half
crafted smile rises on the crest of a sinking wave
as
honesty paints a portrait of survival one moment too late
The
Weight Of Events
Embrace
the vileness of Need
For whom
the endless seek
Red on
white weaves a story
Inside a
shell painted weary
An
excuse, a child, a woman
A prison
not fit for everyone
Out of
the corner of blindness
One comes
to experience kindness
She swims
between angelfish
Mother
Mary in forgotten mist
Hell's
vision from heaven sent
Contained
by nature's current
Fingertips
aged well beyond time
But a
youthful face to hide behind
That
which weighs down the heart
Chooses
carefully which one to mark
The Finger's
Pointed At You
It’s quite lovely to consider the birth of a child
And the resulting happiness a new life brings
But for every birth a young life is distinguished
Another fallen angel stripped of their wings
Death is a concept that no one really wants to ponder
And it takes a brave man to step into it’s shoes
But bravery turns cowardly when self inflicted
A permanent solution to ease the temporary blues
It’s hard for most to imagine the unthinkable
How one could ponder the absence of hope
What brings a person from happiness to apathy
That defining moment when one loses the ability to cope
And a life is reduced to a piece of crumpled paper
Brought to life inside of a tortured flame
While the exterior world continues it’s destined course
Nothing on this earth will ever be the same
Because every single element has a purpose
Even when that purpose is shaded in gray
No one is brought to life to simply suffer
And no one ever loses the right to pray
But despite the logic inside of reason
It is not uncommon for one to lose sight
Of the one true thing that keeps one going
Out of the darkness and into the light
And in that millisecond of a hefty decision
Where a human being makes that choice
One paints a sallow picture of the spirit
As his selfish actions become his voice
But if every one of us were to look inward
In the core of the realization that we are all the same
We would come to see the cruelty of human law
With the unsettling notion that we are all to blame
Lament of the
Scorned
For every woman ever truly adored
There is another one bitterly scorned
Night reflects even the darkest of being
To shed light on the crown of shit she’s adorned
Fairytale endings derived from nightmares
Seething endlessly within a spirit burned
Two strangers are about to enter a game
Where love is the prize of which to be earned
Messy strings attached to a faceless figure
Bondage to another from a different time
He made the choice to lead himself astray
But never intended to commit this crime
And now the silence is oh so deafening
He’s disappeared without a trace
And I’m nothing but a figment of imagination
Brushed aside by the rest of the human race...
Ode to a
First Class A-Hole with No Remorse
Mysognist
of the first ranking
Miscreant
power sucking sycophant
Karma
returns to make war with your peace
And all
that you've created turns to shit
It's
people like you that make the world turn
you are
also responsible for it's untimely death
Corporate
mongrels foaming at putrid mouth
It's
people like you that make me sick
And you
can take your unsolicited opinions
and feed
them to your family at 6pm tonight
You can
take your insecurites straight to hell
because I
won't let you drag me down
Psychopathic
money hungry jack-ass
That's
all that you will ever be
Threaten
me until your skin turns to dust
I'm not
the one consumed with greed
Dishonorable
at best is all I can say
A
downright pilfering puffy faced fool
Unsympathetic
to the rights of humanity
I'd like
to watch you suffer too
I speak
my mind to honor my human rights
You
outright accuse me of using drugs
For a
woman to have a natural opinion is outrageous
For
someone so smart you're extremely dumb
Tell me
I'm unprofessional and unstable
at least
I have the capacity to feel
People
like you are just a dime a dozen
People
like me are the empire you've built
When you
disrespect your key suppliers
When you
break away what matters most
You're
left standing in a pile of soiled riches
And all you've accomplished turns to
piss
In due
time you will come to know true suffering
you will
not be left holding your precious flag
We will
rise to fight your injustice
You will
learn just what it means to break
