Looking Back
He decided after work to go to a local bar
He thought it wouldn’t be a problem since he didn’t live far
But once inside the argument with his wife was all he could think about
So there he sat drinking the night away trying to figure out
What it was he was going to do for he knew something had to be done
He contemplated on taking his own life; the weight of misery weighed a ton
He sat there with a blank look on his face, not saying a word
Trying to reflect on all the things over the years that occurred
He raised his empty glass wanting the bartender to give him another drink
But the bartender told him he was done and put his glass in the sink
He stood up and made a scene before he stumbled out the door
He didn’t want to go home because he didn’t want to fight with his wife anymore
As he staggered to his car he tried so hard to fight back the tears
He couldn’t stop thinking about all they've shared for twenty years
He knew they didn’t have much but what they had he wanted to keep
Regardless if the pain in his heart ran ever so deep
He fumbled with his keys trying to get in his car so he could leave
But once on the road he couldn't see, in and out of the lane he did weave
He wasn’t paying attention; he couldn’t feel a thing, he was numb from head to toe
In front of him his life flashed before eyes, everything was moving slow
The next thing he knew his car was spinning and flipping fast
He held on to the wheel and took a deep breath as his car stopped at last
As he got out of his car he realized another car is what he hit
The other car hit a pole and it was literally split
He dropped to his knees and threw his hands up in the air
Over on the side of the road he saw it was his wife who was lying there
Little did he know she was on her way to tell him sorry for the things she said
It was then he prayed for a miracle in hopes his wife wouldn’t be dead
But when he saw the sheet she was covered in he knew she didn’t make it
And a second chance to make their marriage work he knew they wouldn’t get
He was handcuffed and taken away nothing he could do or say could bring her back
If only he would have went home their marriage would have gotten back on track
But he let their problems stand in the way of everything they shared
Instead of trying to work things out, he looked the other way because he was scared
So in jail is where he now sits having only himself to blame
And in his hands he holds a picture of his wife and hangs his head down in shame
If only he would have thought things through his wife would still be alive
And their marriage would have been the one thing that would have survived
He realizes now on that fatal night drinking and driving wasn’t a game
Nobody wins and in an instant ones life will never ever be the same
Pamela Lawson
©March 4, 2006
All poetry on The Light of Love is the copyrighted work of Pamela Lawson and may
not be used without her permission.
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