Poetry

This Page Is Moving, press hereto go to the new page. :) Thanks ::Drown and Die::

slipping into this world of darkness

didnt take me very long

my soul has been sliced with painful sharpness

and im not feeling very strong

i feel so weak, i cant hold on

i cant wait for my blood to run dry

lifes a cruel game and im just a pawn

who suddenly cant wait to die

i am submerged in a world of smoke

so thick i cannot see through

but i know whats standing behind this joke

hes a killer, a demon, hes you

you've helped my depression swallow me whole

and you said you would always be there

why coundnt i see you were eating my soul

and that you never really did care?

now i am lying here all alone

my eyes and my mind are blank

my spirit is frozen, hard as stone

into this world i sank

wiht your help, my so called friend

and now you are turning away

for me this is the ultimate end

for you its just another day

you dust yourself off, wipe your brow

not a single tear do you cry

you havent cried for so long and you wont cry now

watching me drown and die

::Broken::

each night i cried

for my broken country

yugoslavia's been blown to bits

and i cant even remember my name

these letters in front of me

once familiar and friendly

are now barbaric

i think this war has stolen my intellect

maybe im not crying

for the broken country

but for the broken home

my own

coz ages before i was around

there was fighting

and crying

and lying

and dying

and broken hearts

and broken families

a country had already been broken

and "war" was always on a serbs lips

and shoulders

and head

and heart

the fighting has never ceased

it is nothing new

i doubt it will ever stop

so all thats new

is this rude awakening

to my naive spirit

now naive and vulnerable

::Curiosity::

a savage beast

roars inside my head

and my conscience and morality

pushing htem outside

they matter not

for only this thirst for knowledge feels real right now

oh my curiosity

is such a beast

yeah, curiosity killed thae cat

chewed it up

spat out its bloody, mutilated corpse

at my feet,p>to show me and the world his might

and my disgusted shrieks

that escaped the part of me

that cared for wrong and right

were suffocated by

curiosity, hte beast's

loud, sudductive laughter

::Oblivious::

im oblivious to what u think of me

blind to what i dont want to see

deaf to what i dont want to hear

oblivious to the fact htat you dont want me near

i wont step dow and i wont agree

when you speak negative truths about me

im living in a world of fantasy dreams

oblivilous to your frustrated screams

i wnat to skip and i want to smile

im convinced htat you'll join me once in a while

im lyk a child and htere are things i cant see

oblivious to the differences between you and me

::Playing God""

its not right to play god

and i wont pretend to understand

why you freed the blood in your veins

witht the knife in your hands

yea ur life was worht living

why the hell were you so dumb

i used to be sad and angry

now im just sitting here numb

and wondering and trying

to figure out why

u let suicide suduce you

and decided to die

she must have promised you many things

i bet happiness was on the list

but now youre just cold and dead

and really really missed

hell no i wont forgive you

youve hurt me far too deep

too selfish to see how this would affect the world

into evil you decided to creep

and i wonder if youll go to heaven

or if youll have another life

if you do, dont play god and take it

think and put down the fucking knife

::Your Pain::

i feel your pain

because you force it on me

for my benefit you promise me

or is it for yours?

to ventilate

your anger rage and pain

youre slicing into me

boring deep into my soul

but my pain is not being released

its growing

growing up inside me

holing up inside me

im overflowing

thanks to your generosity

you watch your pain die away

as you watch me cry

you fucking monster

dont i cause you any grief

any pain?

im a worthless whore

but you say its for my own good

you must care

::Raining::

Its raining arms and legs in Israel

Its raining tears from my eyes

Its raining in this fucking world

We, or “god” have created

Look around you

There is no god

Or maybe he was kidnapped

And is being held hostage in hell

While the devil reins with misery

Its raining everywhere

But where was god when my country was born

I’m sure he didn’t make Yugoslavia for war

Where was god when it was raining arms and legs in Israel

where was god when it was raining bombs in Yugoslavia

where the hell is he when we need him the most

in all of our homes

why did he put us here to suffer

why did he leave us with out umbrellas

::Everything Addiction::

youre my addiction

and i cant slow down

youre my contradiction

ive got one foot on the ground

youre my desire

youre what i dont need

you burn lyk fire

and i laugh and bleed

i understand you

but then i dont

i want you to love me

just coz you wont

i want to be you

and i wanna run away

youre false, youre true

you leave, you stay

lyk alcohol i drink you

and you make me feel ill

and so i should stop

but i dont think i will

youre my confidant

who i cant trust

and i dont wanna see you

but i feel that i must

coz youre my addiction

eating me real slow

is it fact or fiction

i sure as hell dont know

and i wanna choke you

and i wanna hear you sing

and i wish you were nothing

but youre my everything

::Drip::

watch my blood drip to the floor

finally its over, misery no more

be shocked by the calmness in my eyes

now its time, my spirit dies

watch the pain fade from my soul

as death swallows me, i feel so whole

my blood is rinsing misery away

and i cant wait to rot, cant wait to decay

i cannot wait for my pain to die

soon i will not have to cry

my life's a joke but now it ends

see you soon, my so called friends

::Untitled::

Fuck the present

forget the future

come and reminise about the past with me

___________________

remember how we were?

remember how we talked?

we were so good together.

remember how we laughed and danced?

___god i miss those days

::Confused Faith::

and im farther away from god than ever

seeking a way to stay alive forever

with out believing in this apperent love

or this apperent god from up above

unthreatened by the threats of flames

unshaken by the holy ones blames

but im torn and broken coz of questions inside

and down and down on faith ill slide

untill this apperent god reaches out a hand

gives me evidence on which i could stand

gives me a cusion on which i could fall

earases all doubts till there are none at all

but untill then ill year for faith unbroken

untill i have proof that is more than spoken

i thot i wasnt afraid but there are so many holes

in what i believe, in what i think i know

what will happen when my world ends

will i be there to make amends?

dont know if ill burn dont know if ill drown

i never believed id go up or down

but i cannot believe this, not now not never

and im farther away from god than ever

::Teach Me How To Smile::

please teach me how to smile again

please teach me how to feel

coz ive been submerged in pain so long

that i cannot tell whats real

please unlock my happiness

confined in a corner of my soul

please teach me how to smile again

and help me to feel whole

my spirit has been shattered

time and time again

you were the only one who stood there

and helped my soul to mend

and when the time comes

and you need a hand

i promise i will be there

beside you i will stand

but i cannot do that

when im afraid and broken

a victim of life

and of lies that one had spoken

so wrap me up in bandages

kiss away my pain

i need to be strong for you later on

so please teach me to smile once again

::Numb::

i have seen so much bloodshed

most of it mine

ive grown numb to the colour of red

and i cannot feel my tears anymore

yet they keep coming back

every night

as i cry emptily for my soul

which is dead

i should have moved on by now

but i stand still

rooted to the spot

with stony, opaque eyes

where do i stand so numb

the locked gates of heaven

and their slamming

reins eternal

a ringing in my ears

it doenst hurt so much any more

guess ive grown numb to something

yet again

but god do i wish i could feel sometimes...

::Untitled::

im chocking on my insecurities

trippping over broken pieces of my esteem

u stole my confidence just coz u could

hell u even stole my dreams

u left me fumbling in the dark

a clumsy mess from inside-out

and when i cried those burning tears

i think you knew what they were about

you stiffled a laugh

as i suffocated a tear

and i tried to run so far away

but u were always so near

and im scared of what will happen next

unsure of what will happen to me

youve taken so much of my soul

will i die this emptily?

tell me now, coz its your call

or is it up to me...??

could i posses the power to walk away

and finally be free

well im gonna say 'yes,' and this confidence will

grow back 2ce as strong

coz i found the strength to move past you

it was in me all along

::Untitled::

so uve all turned your backs

so uve all turned away

and ill say i dont need u

but i need u to stay

i need u so much

i need to feel ur touch

well its time to let go

maybe by accepting this

my loneliness will leave

misery, be dismissed...

coz u dont need me

well how can this be?

ill step out of your world

and into my own

its thick and its black

i suffocate all alone

my loneliness remains

as my only friend

but soon i will leave him

for i can almost taste the end

my need to be accepted

not by all, just by u

is killing me now

and i dont know what to do

maybe its time to let go

and u know that i will try

but i cannot seem to let of u

till the lonelines in me subsides

::Corruption::

the time has come

to give up this innocence maintained

and a single tear rolls down

the corrupted angels face

dreams left abandonned

of this purity sustained

the white gown, symbolic

is torn shredded and red

expercienced demons

feeding off clean souls

eased her into this

ran a knife up her arms

piercing the skin

freeing hte blood in her veins

as red spots grew deeper

she closes her eyes; numb

she does not cry

then slowly she opens her eyes

lifts heavy lids to reveal

now colourless eyes

eyes that are not hers

she starts to laugh

a laugh not her own

a laugh never heard from her before

::now she is losing her innocence::

a single tear rolls down her cheek

this tear contains

what is left of her innocence

it rolls down her face

and crashes to the ground

splatters on the floor

purity shattered

white gown torn

the demons kiss her mouth

corruption complete

::Untitled::

i want to make the shy soul speak

i want to make the tough soul cry

i want to make the hard soul feel

and kiss the hurt soul's pain goodbye

i want to be the loveless' obsession

i want the neutral to take my side

i want to understand the confused

i wnat to make the seeker hide

i want to give the weak soul power

i want to give the quiet soul noise

give the insecure a taste of confidence

and give the clumsy a little poise

i want to contradict the unquestionable

i want make the wounded soul fly

i want to make the angels sin

and give the poor soul the priceless sky

i dont want to be average

i want to leave an impression

i want to take ur breath away

and kill the sad souls depression

::Amour Celeste::

il y avait un temps dans ma vie

un temps noir

mon ésprit aveugle aux choses joyeux

j'ai pas pensé que j'ai eu beaucoup de temps qui me reste

::mais une ange a touché mon ésprit

et remplisé mon coeur

une ange a sauvé ma vie

et m'a montré l'amour::

il y avait un temps dans ma vie

le seul sourire que j'ai vu

était dans mon miroir cassé

une image faux et dérrangé

et je me suis reveillé a chaque matin

avec une tristesse enourme

j'ai voulu mourir

mais j'étais pas assaiz forte

::mais une ange a touché mon ésprit

et remplisé mon coeur

une ange a sauvé ma vie

et m'a montré l'amour::

merci aux ailes comfortants

qui m'ont guidé sans me judgé

la récouperation de ma vie

par ton amour celeste

::Eclipse::

Apollo's darkenend sister

rode the chariot of night

the stars, they knew her secrets

the moon he held her tight

lyk clockwork she appeared

as the blazing sun had set

in painting darkness she found peace

and nocturnal secret

the stars, they got to know her

the moon, he stole her heart

so she returned @ the end of each day

anxious for nighttime to start

so blindly in love with him

she sped towards the moon

she was faster than her time that day

and she died a death too soon

what bore into her pale, night flesh

the cresent moons sharp end

she make a hole in herself

before the moon was full again

her frail body hung on, mutilated

as he breathed,"it was too fast"

and then he wept her blood as tears

for Death's spell had just been cast

the stars now splattered

with red drops of sorrow

one death touched them all

and left them all hollow

her life had dripped away

now the conquering sun

and Apollo made their way

for the day had begun

the sight that greeted them

a young life shattered

lead 2 enemies to meet

but it didnt matter

now one blocks the other

in memory of he lips

and hair and eyes and sombre beauty

of Apollo's sister, called Eclipse

::Solid Ground::

why was i so afraid of falling in love with you

why did i prentend not to hear

oppurtunity as it knocked on the door

why did i pretend not to see

your hand reach out to help my soul up

i thot that if i didnt love you

it wouldnt hurt when it ended

coz eveything dies

i think

even if we believe it is forever

instead

for some strange reason

it huirt even more

we could have been something great

maybe even the first permanent thing in my life

had i been unafraid to love

and i really need u now

more than ever

i need the stability

i had once taken for granted

now i see

how very much i need u

but ur gone, its too late

ive lost u

im stranded in the ocean

forever dreaming of solid ground

::Untitled::

the coldness seeped into her veins

as she stood betrayed and broken

drenched with tears u cant see in the rain

left with nothing but memories unspoken

the waves had crashed on her relentlessly

these waves came from her ocean of tears

she had been drying them endlessly

but so much has been cried through the years

one day she thought she met someone

promised to take her away and save her

but the pain had only just begun

her poor heart would bear such labour

now he is through with her, got all he needs

shes even emptier than before

she is left so hollow because of his greed

that even the angels cant helo any more

the angels had tried to repair her soul

it was broken and hopelessly shattered

but they knew deep down she would never be whole

so hopeless, they hoped it didnt matter

now she is standing all alone

she feels nothing, so numb from the pain

she has no spirit, she has no home

unable to love once again

the best for her was simply to die

even angels could not fix her soul

she was the victim of evil and lies

maybe dead she can feel more whole

::Promise::

Have you ever broken a promise to yourself?

I break it everyday.I promised myself that i would stop loving you

Please dont love me. I will only make you cry

I cannot help it.I've been trying to suffocate this feeling in vain

For your sake, supress it. For i know what will happen, i know myself

I know u too.Thats why i love you.

u do not know what will happen to your heart

No risk is too great

This is a suicide mission. You are too sweet to be hurt by me. I could not bear to watch u suffer

You have told me all this before, but I cannot stop loving you

There is nothing lovable about me

You're awesum. You're different

Actually, I'm just lyk you are

What do u mean?

I made a promise to myself, for your sake ad...

Have you ever broken a promise to yourself

I break it everyday. I promised myself that i would stop loving you.

::End Of Pain::

when u look up

i see the tears

that brim ur eyes

tears that any other mortal

would have already cried

after nights of soul searching

finding no answers

left w/ heartache

chilled to the bone

those tears could have been cried

those nights alone

lying awake

in the cold lonley bed

begging them with peace

war with demons in ur head

o ur spirit may be shattered

and ur soul bloodied and bruised

from the hardships and curve balls

life shot out at you

u feel so wasted and used

o u could have cried those tears so long ago

and as the first one rolls down

your broken voice whispers,

"i cant take it anymore"

well i cant take it either

watching u suffer this way

watching ur spirit die

o, i just want to kill you

i want to suck the life dry out of you

so htat u cannot feel anything

so that you cannot feel pain

and i want to bleed and die away with u

we will never hurt again

so drink with me

to the end of pain

drink with me

to death

and pray we will meet in another life

just no more pain

oh, tell me, is it wrong

to love someone more than yourself?

id die for u to end the pain

but id rather die with u

we wont ever hurt again

so drink wiht me to the end of pain

drink with me to death

drink the blood htat flows through my veins

prey we'll meet again

drink with me

to the end of pain

::Sunshine::

when i close my eyes

all i see is black

then i turn my head to the sun

all i see is red

how dareit shine so brightly all the time

when my sombre days

feel hollow and meaningless

even though sum days

i too, feel lyk the sun

forced to be happy and bright

and to shine on everyone

but at least the fucking sun

gets a break once in a while

hides behind the clouds to break down and cry

it doenst have to shine on the world

fuck id give nething for a cloud s umtimes

::I Made It::

i made it through today with out tears

i made it thru today with out crying

i made it thru today with out pain

i made it thru today only lying

i made it through today hiding

my imperfections and my doubts

i thot i made it thru today coverd upo

but its now time for the tears to come out

i know hat for a while

i wont make it through today

with out pain or inner suffering

or happiness lead astray

soffocate my tears

but theres a leak inside

i have to face the truth

coz theres no where to hide

i made it thru today wiht out happiness

for now i know this is hte only way

and although i am sad, im also greatful

because i made it through today!::Untitled::

its so cold out here by myself

excluded from ur soul

why can i accept u

when u threw me in the cold?

oh i dont know what happened

to hte life that once was there

why do i miss it so fuckn much

when u dont even care

i thot that u were better than that

i thot that u were real

instead i lost my face, my soul

these open wounds will never heal

i think that i loved you

i think u used to care

now i dont know and im falling fast

hanging on to somehting htats not there

::Happiness::

i chase happiness

the golden hind

the hunt is on

but as soon as i get a grasp

the happiness

o, it lingers momentary

before it turns into a ghost

and fades away

through my fingers like sand

it slips away

and the hunt, it is back on

i begin to think

whats the point

i will never get a solid grip

there is so much effort in the chase

i dont know if its worth it

i dont know if its fair

i shouldnt have to chase happiness lyk this

the hunt should not be so intense

maybe i should just give up

let it run away

but then what will i eat if i cannot catch this beast

my soul will starve

i will die

::The Day Forever Died::

you told me that

you'd love me forever

time was ticking

but it could tick for all eternity

i figured

instead

it blew up in my face

the day forever died

the day it died

i felt numb

my foot was asleep

and so was my heart

i didn't cry but

then i felt it bleed

you peirced my heart

with your sharp teeth

a whimper

the only sound that escaped me

as you turned your back

i held the rest in

the day forever died

::The Slut::

she had no future

but what a past

we were waiting to see

how long she'd last

how many more days

would she say alive

would she stay out of jail

would she survive

we were all waiting

and watching from afar

our own little freakshow

and she was the star

too bad we werent watching

when she finally swallowed

3 bottles of advil, extra strenght

into that stomache so hollowed

i think she wished

that we had been there

but would we have stopped her?

would we have cared?

it doesnt matter

noone sees

her slipping away

so silently

the women had whispered

the men had craved

now a single red rose

lies on her grave

::Aura::

i wonder what colour

my aura is...

i know all about yours

you see,

it was the most brilliant gold

almost blinding!

but as time wore on

the brilliance faded

the gold tarnished

this aura is not what it used to be

every drink

every puff

every painful word

that escapes your corrupted mouth

dulls your aura

it is no longer so beautiful

but maybe you'll get around

to cleaning it

::Yesterday::

i painted my nails pink, yesterday

to cover up the black

i faked rose coloured glasses yesterday

and covered scars that kissed my back

i hid my pessimism yesterday

as i faked cheerful smiles

i ran away from my problems yesterday

yea, i ran for many miles

i thought htat i was safe yesterday

as i hid behind a lie

i promised myself yesterday

that you'd never see me cry

i was really careful yestreday

as i walked the hot coals

but my pink nail polish has chipped today

and you can see my black soul

i tried faking'happy' yesterday

so i guess that noone knew

how much i need them here today

for i feel my life is through

i thought of soemthing yesterday

i think ill tell you now

so maybe someone else can live today

here, i'll show you how,

if you see someone smiling, take this into mind...

if im smiling too much

or my smile is too wide

please be my friend

coz im crying inside

i painted my nails pink, yesterday

i was living a lie

i killed myself the very next day

now my nails have dried

::Check Mate::

i never saw it coming

so blinded by your light

your lies

that i could not see

the dark clouds

that hung gloomy in the distance

untill it was too late

you see,

i thought u were the sun

true, but that was only part of you

and i do not know

if this part was even real

the other piece comes into play

a dark cloud

so sad and sombre

and miserable

so afraid that its the truth

so afraid that it is you

i need to talk to you again, to know why

i need to be freed from my mind

for as it tries to understand you

it plays awful, pessimistic

games with my heart

kind of like you

is this

am i

a game?

do you win by lying and breaking my heart

well, you're succeeding

and youre moving into checkmate

::Mouth::

mouth

we dont directly

corrupt our souls

we first corrupt our mouths

with sharp words that we shoot

undoing cupids work

arrows of hatred

shot frum our mouths

and what we put in..

this oriface opens

to recieve

(its eager, but experienced now, after all this time)

lyk a whores legs, it opens

recieving bad, dirty things

smokes and booze

sluts tongue

look at what you have done, mouth

youve corrupted his soul

::Broken Promises::

u promised me forever, but then forever died

u promised that you'd love me, but it was all a lie

u promised that you'd keep me, safe within your soul

u said that i could trust you, and that only truth was told

u promised me the stars that sparkle in the sky

u promised me forever, but then forever died

::Subtle Suicide::

so quietly

so sublty

i felt nobody cared so

i gave a subtle sign

so cute

a mute messenger

a silent cry for help

you could not

did not

look benieth the surface

u thot u knew

what it was about

u thot u knew everything

u thot that u were invincible

i thot htat once, too

and look @ me now

dead

you know,

you could have saved me

had you decoded

my subtle sign

instead it lead

to a subtle suicide

::Doors::

please dont cry

i warned you of the pain

now u know how i feel

hurt and hurt again

i dont tell my secrets

i hide my soul in lies

you thot that you could trust me

instead i made you cry

u kno that i told you

of hte pain that others cause

i never meant to hurt you

but now the bond is lost

im so very sorry

that ive made you cry

i had to, coz u go too close

to the truth inside

i booted you out

from the doors of my soul

i slammed the gates in ur face

and left you in the cold

ive gone back, the doors are closed

its easier for me

one day we'll both smile again

one day we'll both be free

::Fallen::

what they had once promised you

that dream has died

you found out too late

that they had lied

eternal life

to you and your friends

turned out to be void

coz the world WiLL end

they had once promised you

it was under control

evil locked away

to return never more

they always thought

they had it made

that souls need not be protected

but only saved

well they thought wrong

for evil and sin

had finally clawed

their way back in

led by a fallen angel

who had turned to the dark side

now theres fire and bloodshed

and no place to hide

they seeked to destroy

the place that should always be

they were killing heaven

for all eternity

and as angels dropped

from the clouds lyk flies

as your ears are filled

with terror and lies

as all hell breaks loose

bloodied wings fall to the ground

as the whole, wide world

turns rite around

and as you hear the shreiks

of the souls theyre still after

what youre really hearing

is satans laughter

::Twist::

so we talked all night about nothing

just lyk we used to do

whatever happened to our friendship

it was so sweet and true

untill we unknowingly

went out separate ways

didnt see you again till 6 months later

and i cried bout all thats changed

still you held me close

let me know that you cared

dried my salty tears

touched my messed up hair

that just made me cry

all over again

i was just so overwhelmed

realized how much

i missed you and loved you

but we lost touch again

till you said i love you too

and now your back

inside my heart

inside my mind and soul

the way that it was before

but this time theres a twist

there is somting new

the friedship that we had before

has grown and bloomed

now i hope

i can keep you forever

so scared to lose you again

the sweetest love ever known

a love between friends

look at us and how weve grown

::Lost Innocence::

you've tempted me for way too long

now you touch me as i speak

as i officially resign from 'PuRe'

stop tempting me with evil

i want no deeper in

blood red petals

float on black paint

what kind of picture does it paint

salty tears, warm red blood

what kind of picture does that paint

a one way street

to emptyness

rejected from myself

changed beyond backtracking

sweet bitterness

what kind of picture does that paint

paint me with your red and black

ill tell you what you paint

you paint hte picture

of lost innocence

::Untitled::

too late now

we've missed out plane

looks lyk were stuck here

in the middle of nowhere

again

again were left

hearts are broken

well mine is, i believe

is yours even alive?

your words are unspoken

::Dead Understanding::

i imagine that...

the final moment

before you are caught

in deaths icy grip

all doubts are gone

you feel at peace

u understand

the soul feels its worth

why is it such a design?

we chase understanding

we capture it at the end

at deaths door

but our grasp is momentary

and it dies when the door is opened

the understanding

freed

flies away

the grasp dies

for as the door opens

we die too

::Contradiction::

contradicting thoughts

batthe through my mind

battle field

it used to be

me vs u

as we snarled at each other

refusing to step down

neither one accepting defeat

and neither one found victory

but your ideas

have seaped into my mind

the enemy is in

and its shooting me, my ideas

down

my happiness becomes fake

my efforts mediocre

i hate the way im thinking now

youve seaped in

and i cant seem to get you out

coz what if your rite?

then all i have known is a lie

i dont want to rebuild everything

for there is nothing left to rebuild with

the happiness

the wood

its all been burned

well who could have done it?

well, theres you

standing in the battlefield

in my territory

in my mind

wiht a can of gas

a handfull of matches

but the smug smile on your face

contradicts with the pain in your eyes

::Sleep::

some hate going to sleep

it means their day has come to an end

some love going to sleep

it means they can reminise aboiut the wonderful day

some love waking up

dawn is fresh with hope and happiness

but dawn is no longer fresh for me

ihate waking up

coz it means yet another day has begun

another miserable day

but i love going to sleep

it means my day is finally done

i just wish i didnt have to wake up again

let me sleep forever

a litte piece of that eternal black slumber

so fondly refered to

as death

::Drowning::

last nite i cried

my teary eyes

are finally open

to all your lies

i wish i didnt

have to cry

but i drowned in tears

instead of lies

im glad i drowned

im glad i died

knowing the truth

but it hurt so i cried

::Liar::

what in the world is it gonna take

how many lies are left to fake

coz i see you in swirls of smoke

but then you say"i dint take a toke"

u kno i want this to be true

that i want to depend on you

but you cannot be relied on?

do you love me, or is it gone?

i just want an answer clear

i just want to have you here

i want your love and not ur lies

sweet truth instead of alibies

just tell me that youve never lied

love me and dont make me cry

::Inspiration::

it fluttered away

as i thout of the past

escaped me so quickly

dissapeared so fast

next time ill grip it

squeeze it out real slow

onto the paper

as it starts to grow

never again will i let

future inspiration slip away

as my mind drifts off

to yesterday

wont stop to cry

wont stop to pray

ill run with the ball

ill run rite away

ill stop 4 u, though

youre special to me

u are my inspiration

for eternity

::Untitled::

why do u lie

why do u spoonfeed me bullshit

i thot that maybe

u were different

i loved talking to you

you were fun and interesting and different

but i guess it was all bullshit

so u quit?

bull?

you told me that you loved me

let me guess...a lie?

but heres the part

that hurts the most

you said you could tell me

anything

you made me love you

why?

i know why u never asked

u never loved me

so why did you say u did

im so hurt

why do u lie

i thought that i could trust you

i reserved my heart

it anxiously waited

but then it split

when you 180ed

and ran away

suddenly, im scared for you

thru my shaking gasps and tears i plead

please

tell me whats wrong

i want to help

i want to be someone you trust

i want u to hold my heart in ur hands as i hold yours in mine

and feel finally safe

::Stolen Smiles::

i had a dream once

you killed it

with all your wicked lies

you filled my head with so much bull

that now my dream has died

i used to have

self confidence

till ur words took it away

i used to hold my head up high

but now it hangs each day

i had self respect

a while ago

but you took that too

im left with out my dignity

and its all because of you

i had a smile once

you killed it

u left me drenched in tears

i lost the "me" i used to have

and all i found are fears

::One With The Sea::

at 206m above sea level

i cant talk much

speachless

for once

as i am hushed

gently

by a sense of wonder and bewilderment

for there is so much to marvel at

so much to see

i am standing taller

than all of htese trees

they have been reaching for the sky

all these years

and they give me a sense of peace

as they sway so softly in the wind

the water glistens

and sparkles from above

i feel godworthy

to be seeing this

the horizon

blue mountains

and a fine line of light

where sea meets sky

below me

a little town

full of little people

with little lives

i wonder what it feels lyk to live hthere

so close to nature

so close to the water

and the little lighthouse

so lonely

but it doesnt seem to mine

for i think its little heart

knos secrets

secrets you can only discover

when youre one with the sea

::Hell on Earth::

this place escapes

what we have caused

the hell weve made

all we have lost

here im really far away

from the world

in which we live today

why do we only

live for ourselves?

were against everything

and were living in hell

"thats bull,"

i hear u say

"what in the world

are you on today?!?"

well if you love

this earth so much

release it from

your greedy clutch

and if u really

love your brother

why are we constanly

at war with each other?

if theres a god

then i bet

he is housing

grief and regret

what in the world

have we done?

and what in the world

will we become?

::Suffocate::

wash it off

do it again

hide the beauty

suffocate the skin

go a shade deeper

put on another coat

look like the others

dont rock the boat

just be like them

dont let them see

that youre better than them

coz thats deadly

what have u become, i wonder

but i also try

to figure out

what youre trying to hide

::Snapped::

its snapped.

i knew it would, eventually

i cant believe ive held on

for so fucking long

some will welcome the change

ask what the hell took me so long

most will ditch me, the good ones

and a precious handfull will stand by me

no matter what

thanks, you guys.

well FUCK!

i dont want to be S N A P P E D

you cant go back

youre marked

and fuck being marked

::Deal::

screams in my head

not silent screams though

loud and piercing

im jus thte only one who hears them

i think im going crazy

or is the rest of the world?

my issues are the answers

to their issues

so if they would only find

another way to pass the time

or another way to DEAL

maybe id stop crying

maybe id stop screaming in my head

maybe i could hear myself think

::Angel?:: strip away the layers

tell me whats beneith

coz i sure as hell dont know

do i slepep on clouds

while the rest sleep on cold ground?

am i really that much better?

just because i look lyk i have everything straight

together

because i dont

i just lyk to think i do

i just lyk to have you call me Godess

i just lyk to be your role model of perfection

i just want to be

everything for you

i just dont have time for me

i only care about you,

i know ill be fine

youre my world, my children

so just cross your fingers

and hope im right

::Good Enough::

never good enough

ill never be small enough

thin enough

pretty enough

hot enough

good enough

for me

never satisfied

the outside

will always be ugly

and boring

and plain

and because of that

the inside

will always be

insecure

my confidence will be

small

thin

but not pretty

not hot

and not good enough

::Little Red Riding Hood::

hey, little red riding hood

youve been lead astray

the big bad wolf

stole ur innocence

hey little red riding hood

your mom showed u the way

and said dont talk to starngers

but you were such a good victim

hey, little red riding hood

how do u feel today

probably violated and dirty

but dont cry, its not your fault

hey, little red riding hood

i know u tried to run away

but he was too big, too strong

and now you bear such shame

hey little red riding hood

u feel rottten and decayed

he said it wouldnt hurt

but now u are scarred forever

hey little red riding hood

u were just tryin to find ur way

but the forest was so dark

he blindfolded you into silence

hey little red riding hood

it doesnt have to be this way

maybe if you talk, ull regain justice

though u can never have ur innocence back

::Untitled::

the way our souls interwined

it was all one big mess

with the ups and the downs

backs and forths

on again off again

it was all a big tangled web

it was lyk we were so close

i guess thats why

i could never get mad

or let go of you

::So Trust Me::

let me go

let me breathe

take your tongue out of my mouth

and let me speak

untie me

shut up

stop the smothering

i kno its not coz you love me

its coz ur afraid

not afraid to lose me

afraid of me

do i intimidate you

because i know you

because you accidentally let me in too far

you werent watching

when i swam in too deep

now you want to breathe me in

not because you love me so much

because you want to keep me confined

keep it together

for when i was inside your soul

i snatched myself a little piece

you want that back

but ive swallowed it

youre never getting it away from me

so you swallowed me

to make sure

that it Never gets out

and to keep it all together

coz you dont wanna be a vending machine with ur soul

no matter how much ppl give

you do not dispense

you are too expensive to be

a vending machine

you are a heavily guarded

castle of secrets

and now im locked inside

let me out

i cant give back what i took

its inside me now

but i promise to guard it

i promise i wont hurt you

stop smothering me with fake love

so let go

trust

::Killing Summer::

o, you are so jealous

even though you dont look green

but i know that you sometimes wish

that you did

o, she has so much life

and you, you are so dead

you want to suck away

all the happiness

::But even as you blow it all away

you dont get any better

she dies, but you stay the same

such a cycle

so painful

so forever::

see what you blow away

you cannot steal

for if she cannot have it

no one will

so all that you are left with

is ugly, cold and brown

i hope you feel lyk shit

and that guilt wears you down

o you waste

::Coz even as you blow it all away

you dont get any better

she dies, but you stay the same

such a cycle, so painful, so forever.::

you were killing summer

blow it all away

nothing in return

you stay ugly, so the same

you are so jealous

but brown and not green

forever

killing summer...

contact: o0_sweetpink_0o@hotmail.com