For me, the attributes that would make a person who lived close enough to me to be considered a "neighbor" fall into basically two categories; the first, physical, and the second, social. And if, somehow all of these criteria were to be met, I would have to claim that person as the "ideal neighbor". These two categories of attributes in some cases may overlap one another, but this is only because both sides of any "coin" must be carefully inspected in order to make an educated assessment of its value. And so it is also with a person.
The first set of attributes is a small list. These are the physical attributes of the ideal neighbor, in my opinion. He would need to be male, preferably in his mid twenties to early thirties, so as to have something in common with me at the start. He would need to be "good looking", by my standards, which include standard height between five feet seven inches and six feet two inches tall. Weight is also of importance, in considering him as attractive and therefore ideal. He should therefore weigh no less than one hundred forty and no more than one hundred sixty-five pounds. His hair should be shoulder length, or longer and clean. I do not want any man around whom I am to feel comfortable to have anything less than sparkling hair. He does not need to appear as if he has just come from the stylist, just look as if he remembered to "shampoo and rinse" every other day. He should also have straight, white, permanent teeth, to maintain a full regime of good hygiene. And these teeth may add to the overall sparkle of his "good looks", when considering that he should possess a deep, sexy laugh, that would enrich the moment he would display his then obvious good humor. This last attribute of humor can be considered a social one. However, I have listed it as part of the physical characteristics of the ideal neighbor, because in keeping with the motif of "good looks", sexy laughs require sexy mouths, and sexy anything requires an air of cleanliness and care of the physical body.
With this small wish list covered in its entirety, the ideal neighbor must then pass the test of social stability and attractiveness. The ideal neighbor, as I have precluded, is male, and should therefore be single. This is a desired attribute of any female's ideal of a male. The ideal neighbor would never throw wild, loud parties, unless first discussing the issue and receiving approval from me. He would therefore be friendly, but not pushy. In other words, we would, on occasion, exchange niceties, but never would he push his way into my apartment, or life. Unless invited, he would keep a distance. I would rather admire him as a pretty knick-knack on a shelf of some height, than have to answer to him as to why he noticed me coming in at four in the morning on a Monday, with one shoe on and a swizzle stick dangling from my teeth. I therefore prefer that he be shy within reasonable terms. This would mean I wish him to not speak unless I have spoken to him first, or, as my ideal neighbor, he senses that I wish to hear his opinion.
On the issue of hygiene, he, being the ideal neighbor, would take his showers on days I did not, to avoid the "hot/cold shower" incidence. He would also be very neat, maintaining his own apartment, when on occasion, I may go over for a visit, and he would never leave trash, such as old pizza boxes and Chinese take-out cartons outside his front door, or in the hallway of the apartment building. In fact, as an ideal, he would hardly ever, if at all, order take-out or delivery dinners because he would be a fantastic cook in his own right. I find men who can cook to be very sexy, because it shows, on one hand, a sense of independence, and on the other, a close, personal relationship with the home. He must be a sincere person, and a good listener. He must always be willing to help me in times of crisis, but know when to back off and give me some space to make my own mistakes.
The ideal neighbor lives alone, with no roommates either male or female. So if he and I decide to have a small dinner at his place, we will not have to clear it with a third party. He will have chosen his friends, few as they will be, with great concerns to whether I would approve, and these friends, then would visit him sparingly. He should have a steady income, with which to maintain payment on his own car and phone, therefore never needing to borrow or ask favors from me concerning these items of necessity. This neighbor should spend his idle time perfecting his already near-perfect guitar playing. This is a talent I am quite envious of, and would allow him to practice at times so that he may play in a band, as well as for me during times of private conference.
As I list all these qualities and attributes, I am aware more than ever that I lean more towards the social graces of a person and less towards the actual physical characteristics. This anti-materialistic attitude I believe is a virtue of mine, and one of which I am proud. The reality is simply this: though this ideal neighbor may be male and knock-down, drag-out gorgeous to a fault, if he is no more than perfect on the outside, he is of little interest to me. The inner workings of any human being, whether male or female are the souls of their being. Without substance of goodness and honesty, caring and commitment, a person is little more than a cliche'. If I ever hope to find the ideal neighbor, and let's be honest here, the ideal partner in this life, I must remember that judging a book by its cover is not only naive, but detrimental to my future. For if I never even take the book off the shelf unless it has a pretty picture on the jacket, I may never know what juicy reading I may have missed. I could therefore end up with little more than a glittered-up version of a well-worn comic book.
