Paul Wiggins Quotes

• "There are gonna be indian skank hoes who are gonna wanna suck my dick because I have so much money" January 29, 2005
• "I'm trained in whoopin' peoples' asses" March 2, 2005
• "I need to go on a diet, my ass is so big" 11:03AM March 4, 2005
• "Its humongous" 11:05AM March 4, 2005
• "Minorities are generally threatened by me" March 4, 2005
• "That whole table of Mexican girls was practically salivating over me" March 4, 2005
• "Are there seat warmers in this damn seat? My ass is on fire." March 4, 2005
• Is that all you wear is boxer briefs? "Yeah, thats what athletes wear." March 5, 2005
• "Hey funny story, I collect those [desert storm trading cards] too!" March 7, 2005
• "I don't plan, I improvise" March 12, 2005
• "Who doesn't watch disney movies? Not me. Why? Cuz I have a set of balls." March 13, 2005
• "Dude, black girls think I have the hottest ass." March 19, 2005
• "Everything about that man irks me." 5:25 PM March 23, 2005
• "He's from Brazil too...no wonder why I hate him." 5:28 PM March 23, 2005
• "Honeydew? That sounds...(belches loudly)...disgusting." March 24, 2005
• "No, I'd be pretty happy. And if anyone was mad, I'd beat them up." March 24, 2005
• "Thats just the white man shittin' all over the the indian again." March 24, 2005
• "Shannon Brown would throw that down in someone's face, then flip off their mother." March 27, 2005
• "A drunkard, who doesn't wear panties." April 15, 2005
• "The AK-47 is the greatest assault rifle ever made." April 24, 2005
• "That non-continuitous bread will be the death of me." April 28, 2005
• "Dude, I'm comfortable right now, please don't do that to me." (after being asked to do an impression of somebody) July 25, 2005
• "You have such huge hands, when I touch your hands, I don't even feel like a man." October 27, 2005
• "TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES...TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES MOTHERFUCKER!" October 27, 2005
• "Deer are more violent than wolverines. I'm a man of the wild, I know what I'm talking about." December 16, 2005
• "I'm a genious in all kinds of ways." February 11, 2006
• "No, there's not a home school association." February 11, 2006
• "You know who invented the number zero, the Arabs. So you know it's twisted." February 11, 2006
• "My ass could stop a bullet. I'm positive." February 16, 2006
• "They have alot of these at the circus, because they feed them to elephants." (in reference to peanuts) March 18, 2006
• "I don't have a body designed to swim. How many people do you know that live in the ocean? Not many." March 18, 2006
• "I stick my finger in a lot of places. Doesn't mean I have to be friends with it on facebook." March 19, 2006
• "Fuck, I'd let an elephant shit on my chest if I had a poncho on." March 20, 2006
• "I want to make sex to your babies." April 21, 2006
• "I'm so cool, people don't even know me." 12:07 AM May 6, 2006
• "Like underground cool." 12:08 AM May 6, 2006
• "Why do you think its so tangy when you lick on it?" May 8, 2006
• "It's thinking like that that lost Hitler the war." June 30, 2006
• "A girl would ask me out if I was in my underwear." July 12, 2006
• "I think wearing a shirt is unnatural." August 20, 2006
• "Hey, you know what sucks? When I have to buy my pants 2 sizes too big because my goddamn butt is so big." August 22, 2006
• "Now I look like a goon because I responded to her goonyness. They don't write that down do they." August 31, 2006
• "God damnit I'm just trying to keep up with your mouth." September 7, 2006
• "KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE!"(moments before slamming fist down on table at Old Chicago, hereby losing composure) September 7, 2006
• "God damnit this is muthafukin delicious." September 7, 2006
• "We're going to have interspecies erotica." September 12, 2006
• "Brady Quinn is a beefcake." October 7, 2006
• "That's trash. That's trash. You're trash...get out of here with that trash. If this was streetball, I would rub your face in the cement." October 31, 2006
• "I could beat Tom Lehman, for a fact, guarantee it." October 31, 2006
• "It's already unfair, you guys have two eyes." December 18, 2006
• "Its not like you are going to heaven and coming back, you know?" January 1, 2007
• "That's what happens, you lose when you dont bring the Wiggins." January 17, 2007
• "I'm heavy too, I should lay on you." January 31, 2007
• "They're looking at me like; Who is he? What is he about? What is he gonna do? How old is he? He looks like he's 40. He's 23. He's middle-aged." January 31, 2007
• "Would you be mad if I gave Tim a blowjob?" 12:13 AM February 9, 2007
• "I'm pretty sure I can give oral sex pretty good." 12:47 AM February 9, 2007
• "Dude, I've gone down on 6 different girls, and 4 of them had orgasms. And then we had sex." 1:13 AM February 9, 2007
• "I'm about to give you a lap dance like you won't believe." February 9, 2007
• "In my world, girls can make out with me." February 11, 2007
• "I don't give sexy kisses on the cheek, I give them between the legs." February 11, 2007
• "You know what happens? Alot of butt juice, alot of butt juice." February 24, 2007
• Do you like ruining environments? "No, but I like shitting on your mom's chest." February 26, 2007
• "My dick is big. Think two hands, motherfucker." March 1, 2007
• "She's a little hoodrat. You gotta hit that shit and go." March 3, 2007
• " I drained the whole fucking pool in that." (in reference to the gene pool in his family) March 5, 2007
• "Keanu Reeves is the best actor in action movies of all-time." March 8, 2007
• "I guarantee you can't move your ass better than me." March 12, 2007
• "It's kind of weird poop, it's like jelly." April 24, 2007
• "My body would not look good in male capris." May 1, 2007
• "I need a guy with big legs and a big butt." May 1, 2007
• "I've licked worse, I guarantee it." May 10, 2007
• "I'm a better drunk driver than you are a regular driver." May 16, 2007
• You want to wear something under size 32? "I'm a man, thanks." July 2, 2007
• "I want to get a tattoo of a dreamcatcher, and in the dreamcatcher there are poker symbols, and money signs, and diamonds...because that's what I dream about." September 16, 2007
• "I dont think that's taboo," referring to cumming on someone's face. December 22, 2007
• "I'd rather have a human's dick in my mouth than a dog's dick, it's hairy." January 27, 2008
• "They are in a Taurus, they are probably homeless." March 9, 2008
• How come you don't play scratch off's anymore? "I was running bad." April 8, 2008
• "If you had an ass like this, you'd understand." April 11, 2008
• "If I lived in Africa, I would for sure get AIDS." April 24, 2008
• "Don't worry, she's Asian..."(after turning away from a non-Asian girl and talking the Asian man who worked at the Chinese restaurant.) May 14, 2008
• "That's like going to K-mart to buy some basketball shoes, and then going to Finish Line to buy some basketball shoes. I mean, they're not even the same, they're not. They're different." December 29, 2008
• "If I were you, I would run through like 20 or so hoodrats, and then settle down" January 2, 2009
• "Seriously, if I had your looks and lifestyle situation, I'd be banging everything that moved." January 2, 2009
• "What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat." June 6, 2009
• "I am a fat chubby girl magnet." June 10, 2009

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