Strange Saint

-Toshiki-

I didn’t know this was possible. She was looking for me? But… how? It was so much to take in. I… I need a moment.

-Summer 1990-

Like Yumi, she wasn’t a normal girl. I didn’t know what she saw in me. She could have any boy she wanted. But she chose me. I didn’t get it. She never gave me a reason either. We just went with it. And then, I had to go and ruin it.

I will never forgive myself for it.

She didn’t want me to go to war. She never liked things like that. But I did it for us. I wanted us to have a future together. I wanted to provide for her. Look what good that did.

Now I about messed it up again.

Both girls were off and sweet. Now that I think of it, Yumi does act like her. But there was one more before them. Yes. I remember now.

---------

I was four at the time. I don’t remember where I was, when it was, or what I was doing. I remember that I wasn’t alone.

She doesn’t have a face or a body. But I felt her fingertips on my cheek. She was so warm. I didn’t know who or what she was. Yet, I was not afraid. What did she want from me? She spoke to me. But I don’t remember what she said. I felt her words in my heart. Yeah, cheesy, I know. But that was what it felt like.

I would see her over the years. Almost like a shadow out of the corner of my eye. She didn’t really do anything. Just followed me around. It was kind of nice, really.  I still didn’t know what she wanted. I wished I could see her again. I didn’t know what would happen. But I just had to see her.

I had no idea how soon that would be.

“Toshiki? Toshiki?”

I looked to see Yumi staring at me with her head cocked to the side. I made a face at her.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“What are you thinking?” she asked. I shrugged and shook my head.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Hmm…” she said. She’s kind of cute when she’s confused. Almost like a little puppy. Sometimes, I wonder if this is a dream. I’m starting to see her in her eyes. I don’t know if that makes any sense. I don’t know. I just can’t figure it out. But I still can’t turn away. Part of me wants to know the truth.

“Is there anything else?” I asked.

“Huh?” Yumi asked.

“Do you need anything else?” I asked. She shook her head.

“Just making cabbage rolls for dinner,” Yumi said.

“Cook,” I said. She turned and walked back to the kitchen. I sat back on the couch. I still have questions. Even Yumi and her mother didn’t have the answers. The last time I asked, it didn’t go well. Maybe I should hold off? But I had to know…

Suddenly, I paused. Wait… Is she…? My heart raced against my chest.

Oh…

It would take me longer to piece the whole story together.

“Toshiki-san, is something wrong?”

I whipped my head around. Yumi’s parents were staring at me. Oh…

I rubbed the back of my head.

“No,” I said. The whole time, Yumi was smiling and humming to herself in the kitchen.