For You

There were so many things you would never know
So many feelings you would never understand
To hold you
To kiss you
All seems like a dream now
So far gone
So far forgotten
What was so wrong with me?
That made you turn your back
Falling, a tear
Tells me it will never go away
Deep, deeply inside my soul
You sit, you leave a space
A void, never to be filled
No matter what fills around it
The perfect fit, the comfort
So far, all but forgotten
The little girl longs for the touch
The woman, the love, the security
Voices in the middle of the night
Never to be heard again
I am dying from the inside out
You never understood, you never saw
The truth
You were blind, you still are
Too easily swayed, too deeply unforgiving
Forgiven, never, not truly
There is no void for you
You are filled, entirely, to the top
I ruined everything, that I know
And for it, I am deeply sorry
You are better off without
Without this emptiness
That is me
"I love him, but every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known"
Happy without, true
But never the same

October 4, 2002

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