Essence

I've started realizing that I'm only happy
When I'm listening to music
And I just have to be in it some day
Have you ever noticed how in songs
They always say "you"?
Well who are they talking to?
Are they real people
Or people someone dreamed about
Once when they were maybe five?
When I was five, I dreamed about
Having enormous hands and holes in my legs
And cars running over my head
And falling, always falling
So who are they talking to?
Who is "you"?
I always know who my "you" is
But I bet you don't, do you
I'm perpetuating my own contemplation
And yes, I know what the words mean
Don't make a sound. Shhh
Do you hear it?  The sound of silence?
Say something!  Say anything!
The silence is killing me
That rotten silence always lurking
Behind every sound you make
And I'm too sleepy to be sad, or cute
Not that the two are at all alike
But hey, who's counting?
I've started realizing that I'm only happy
When I'm listening to music
And I just have to be in it some day
Don't you ever worry that you'll never be better?
Don't you want a life worth living?
Yet you content yourself with material things
And you worry yourself to nothing, over nothing
You perpetuate your own misconception
And I don't want to deal with the semantics
Can't you people just get over it?
You're going to make me explode!
Can't you just live for today
Sing for the moment, this moment?
And when the time comes,
Just lose yourself in the music?
Let the world fall away, and listen.
My god, do you hear it?
And I can see you in your depths
I can see your darkest hour,
When you just wanna let go
And all I can tell you is hold on
It will get better eventually
I've been there, too, right beside you
I'm telling you, just stop and listen
Let it flow through, and move on
Get up, walk away, it's over
You've just experienced Salvation
But it's too late, you've gone away
You're perpetuating your own misery
I wish you weren't so beautiful in my eyes
All I can do is walk away
I've started realizing that I'm only happy
When I'm listening to music
You've proven this beyond all doubt
And I just have to be in it some day

March 10, 2003

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