Comin' Around
That feeling is
coming back again
That empty, sick, butterfly feeling
And I don't know
what's caused it
It isn't him this time
No, something deeper
Something
much deeper
Something I've been ignoring far too long
And I don't even
know what it is.
It is so exhausting to make
People believe you're
happy
When inside, you're not
You gotta keep them happy
But who gives a
shit if you're happy?
No one, that's who
You think about killing
yourself
You fantasize about how you would do it
But you know you're not
brave enough for it
At least, I know I'm not.
This is about me, after
all
I can take a razor blade
Press it against my skin, drag it
across
Make it bleed
But never hard enough to die
All I can do is sit
here
Focus on the pain I can't explain
Try to breathe past the
smell
Try to make my heart be still
It beats so hard I can feel it
I
just push the feeling back for now
Who knows,
Maybe I've been attacked by
an incubus
November 1, 2002
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